Closed RP: Hakkai, Sanzo, Gojyo. Another unhappy birthday. <3

[perverted_kappa]

((Backdated to November 29th. Probably won't contain much wrongness, but will have swearing and possibly some wangst, so plz don't read if that bothers you~.))

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[worldly_monk]

"Hmph. I'm not sure these 'customs' really exist. I think the two of you are making this up." Sanzo took the knife anyway. "No beanies. Sweaters would be useful. It gets pretty damn cold in this castle sometimes." He cut three pieces of cake and passed the plates around. "You can skip the initials though. They'd be the same for both of us anyway."

He licked a few stray bits of icing off his fingers, then took a bite of the cake. "This is good," he told Hakkai. "Did Gojyo actually help this time? Or did he just get flour all over the kitchen again, while you did all the work?"

Hakkai had, as usual, guessed correctly on the flavor too. Sanzo's taste in food tended to be on the bland mild side. "I've never actually had a birthday cake before," he remarked, obviously thinking out loud again.

[polite_sinner]

((OoC: Repost for nit-picky things.))"Well, I could just put 'S' for Sanzo, and 'G' for Gojyo, if it would make a difference to either of you? It would be useful, I think, for if either of you are in a rush and somehow got your sweaters mixed-up--" Hakkai might have faltered then, briefly considering just what the two of them could possibly be doing together that would warrant their clothes being confused, but if that was the case, it was soon forgotten and his sunny disposition was back in an instant. "I suppose different colors would easily help with that problem, as well

[perverted_kappa]

Gojyo had been the one to suggest a cake in the first place, and he was regretting doing that much for Sanzo. Not that he expected Sanzo to even pretend to be grateful, at least not to him, but the complete bastard act was getting old. And talking as if he wasn't sitting right there was always a sure way to annoy Gojyo.

He took a plate and nearly missed what Hakkai had inadvertently implied, distracted as he was with his irritation. "Heh. You don't have to worry about any mix-ups." He gave Sanzo a look before turning away, and started eating his cake. It was pretty good, and he was glad Hakkai'd been willing to do all most the work. The cake he and Sanzo had baked hadn't turned out quite as well, not surprisingly

[worldly_monk]

Sanzo was feeling surprisingly mellow. He'd had just enough to drink to put everything into soft focus, including his memories. The only other times he remembered celebrating his birthday had been with Koumyou Sanzo. The monks at Kinzan hadn't known or cared what day Koumyou had chosen for his birthday. Koumyou had always remembered

[polite_sinner]

"Oh, you ought to give yourselves more credit," Hakkai said, waving it off with a vague and what was likely supposed to be a reassuring gesture. "The cake the two of you baked was rather good, and I'm sure there was no magical intervention required to make it that way." Even Hakkai might have been a little dubious about that idea, but if so, he wasn't ever going to say as much.

"At the time, I didn't think something so lacking in nutritional value would have been conducive to someone recovering from massive blood loss," he explained. For a split second, Hakkai looked a little guilty, as though he was about to apologize again for what happened on Halloween. He wasn't sure if that would have simply earned him a few impatient sighs, though, so he held off on it. Instead, he smiled and nodded in agreement with Sanzo's idea. "We could relight the candles, if you'd like, Gojyo. Or I could just make something for you later, even."

[perverted_kappa]

((Repost to fix a typo.))

"I didn't let those creepy fuckers anywhere near Hakkai's cake, except to send it to the tavern," Gojyo clarified, scowling down at his empty mug. There was something seriously wrong with an entire species that apparently lived only to be slaves, and enjoyed it. He didn't doubt that Sanzo felt perfectly at home at Hogwarts for that very reason.

"Only one wish per cake. Them's the rules." He caught Hakkai's look, and waved off his offer. "Don't worry about it."

Reminded of the events of Halloween, Gojyo took a few moments to think back over the other various magic-fueled disasters that had happened since he'd arrived; one always stood out in his mind. He slowly smiled. "You know, I'd take bleeding to death over having to be in love with that idiot," he gestured toward Sanzo with his cigarette, "any day of the week. Worst experience of my life." The scars on his face were proof enough that it was a blatant lie, but sometimes it was nice pretending that the distant past no longer affected him.

[worldly_monk]

Sanzo just smirked at Gojyo. "What a coincidence. I'd rather have you bleed to death than be in love with me too." Then he gave a small laugh. "Although, the part where you turned into a tiger was kind of cute. Maybe we should have left you that way?" He was pretty sure it couldn't really have been the worst experience of Gojyo's life, but he wasn't going to pursue it.

It did make him wonder what Gojyo's 'worst experience' really was. Was it the story Gojyo had told him the night they got drunk? Or could there be something even worse in Gojyo's past? Sanzo's own worst moment wouldn't be hard to guess. He suspected Hakkai's wouldn't be either. He shook his head, annoyed with the depressing turn of his thoughts.

He leaned back in his chair and stretched, raising his arms over his head. "Okay, we've done the cake, you got me to sing fucking karaoke, and I'm the proud owner of a cow," he said, with exaggerated annoyance. "Anything else you're planning to do to me on my birthday to entertain yourselves?"

[polite_sinner]

"I would have to disagree with the two of you, unfortunately." Hakkai shrugged his shoulders, continuing in a pleasant, casual tone, "Blood is such a difficult thing to clean away, really. I'm not sure if I would ever forgive either of you if you left me to deal with a mess like that." He paused for a second and smiled mildly, sharing an amused look with Sanzo. "Gojyo was quite affectionate while he was a tiger, wasn't he? Perhaps we really did act too soon to reverse the spell."

Hakkai chuckled a little before he said, "Don't put it that way! The two of us just wanted you to try and have a little fun, and we do owe you something, at least, for celebrating our own birthdays with us, don't we?" His words might have been clipped in that last bit, but only just barely. "Ah, now, did we have anything else planned, Gojyo?"

[perverted_kappa]

Sanzo calling Gojyo-as-a-tiger 'cute' was a bit off-putting. Gojyo glowered at him. "We knew all about your paedophiliac tendencies, but it hadn't occurred to me that you'd be into animals too. Well, I guess it makes sense..." He fully expected a visit from the paper fan after that remark.

When Hakkai voiced his agreement with Sanzo, Gojyo raised an eyebrow and didn't look any happier. "So why don't you assholes turn me back. Maybe I'll eat you both this time. Then you won't have to worry about cleaning up any blood."

He rolled his eyes and made a mental note to get much drunker the next time the three of them celebrated anything together. "Yeah, the birthday spanking, remember? Should I go get the 'special paddle' now? You can have the first whack at 'im."

[worldly_monk]

Gojyo's insulting remarks were met with a look of distaste. "Your delusions aren't that amusing, kappa." He looked away and lit another cigarette, muttering "I should have shot you when you started nuzzling my crotch

[polite_sinner]

((OoC: Repost. Copying and pasting hates me. *headwall*))

Hakkai frowned at Gojyo, surprised by his angry reaction. He wasn't entirely sure why their usual bantering seemed to bother him so much, but they must have struck some nerve, nonetheless. "I apologize," he said automatically, though he did look as though he truly meant it. "I was only joking, I didn't mean to upset you. I thought you would have realized by now that I do honestly prefer you as you are over you as a rather large cat."

He decided not to respond to the idea of "birthday spankings," other than by offering a sort of awkward chuckle. What actually brought him up short was Sanzo voicing his thanks. Blinking a few times, Hakkai finally smiled pleasantly and shook his head a bit. "Please, don't mention it. After all, we do owe you, at least a little--" for things that seemed to be too obvious to be worth mentioning "--whether you'd like to admit it or not."

[perverted_kappa]

((Argh! Repost to fix another really obvious, stupid typo. -_-))

He looked faintly embarrassed by Hakkai's apology and covered by laughing, privately grateful that it didn't sound as -- not exactly uncomfortable, but a feeling oddly similar to it -- as he felt. "I knew that. Che. I'm more fun to pet in this form, anyway," he said with a wink.

He hadn't meant to act so pissed off, and blamed it on having to be in the company of such an irritating, ungrateful cock-tease of a priest. He barely caught the words 'nuzzling' and 'crotch' in Sanzo's muttering, and for once decided he probably didn't want to know more. He'd ask later.Similarly surprised by Sanzo actually thanking them, Gojyo stared dumbly at him for several moments. It was all that he could do to not vehemently disagree with Hakkai; after all, he didn't feel as though he owed Sanzo anything. (Part of him likely still resented the fact Sanzo'd taken Gonou away, and that his good-for-nothing fucked up 'gods' couldn't have been arsed to actually help stop the evil of

[worldly_monk]

"Tch. Whatever." Sanzo didn't bother arguing the point. He already knew he'd never convince Hakkai that there wasn't any debt to be repaid. And as for Gojyo... Sanzo glanced over at him, with a wry twist to his lips. He was pretty sure that Gojyo didn't think they owed Sanzo anything. At least that was one thing he and the kappa could agree on. (And if Gojyo had voiced his thoughts about the gods, Sanzo would have agreed with every one of his complaints, and probably added a few more of his own.)

After Gojyo asked his question, Sanzo eyed them both warily, then looked around for Betsy. "What secret?"

[polite_sinner]

Hakkai's frown was much fainter this time, almost completely unnoticeable. Though Gojyo's vague discomfort wasn't exactly written on his face, Hakkai still had the feeling that there might have been something more to it than he initially thought. He made a mental note to ask him if everything was all right later, when they were back by themselves in the dorm.

For a second, he feigned a contemplative look, as he carefully mulled over Gojyo's question. "Perhaps we should," he said slowly, with affected reluctance. "It would probably put Sanzo in a better mood, knowing that he won't have to take a full-sized milk cow back to his room and raise it."

Hakkai fell silent for a moment (most likely for dramatic effect), tapping his chin thoughtfully. Finally, he lightly shrugged and offered Sanzo a winning smile. "I suppose it would be best if we let you in on the trick, wouldn't it? I'm afraid Betsy isn't quite like other cows, you see. I do hope that doesn't affect how well you'll take care of her, though."

[perverted_kappa]

Following Hakkai's perfectly vague explanation, Gojyo got right to the point. "She's a transfigured stuffed toy. Heh, you got worked up over nothing. You can just pretend she's a boy cow if you're gonna take her to bed and hold her at night," he snickered. He wouldn't be surprised if he one day woke up to a severed plushie cow head sharing his pillow. Poor Betsy.

[worldly_monk]

Sanzo frowned impatiently as Hakkai went on, then glared at Gojyo after his explanation. "I'm not going to sleep with a stuffed toy," he replied sharply, annoyed, but also more relieved that he would admit. That would certainly explain how they managed to get a cow up here.

"If that's true, then I guess I won't have to shoot you two after all." He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. "I'll believe it when I see it though."