Gay day...... Let me explain.....

[hindenburg]

Today I get to get my surgery at about 7am. I can't sleep, I can't breath I'm losing my mind. What to do? I ate at 1am and not supposed to after 12 midnight. I'm upset the fact I spent about 14 hours to recover my Operating System and all my data. The fact I can't stop drinking, things are very crazy right now. I'm in a law suit and need surgery in order for my knee to see any relief. The fact its been over 2 weeks since the injury my chance of having a full recovery is about 30-40% not something I like to hear or think about but I know so I do. I pray this goes well today. I pray that I get my settlement. Go to school and get my ass in a different line of work. I just want to cry but I can't. This sucks.... All now I can do is write....

I'm still awake
My eyes a blaze
Feelings I can't shake
Walking this maze
Don't know whats to come
Don't know what to expect
My brain is numb
My actions I regret
Have to worry of this pain
Have to walk with this caine
Life is short but don't forget
Our body is something we need to protect

My car is broken down
Living in this miserible town
No place to go
No one to see
Please somebody shoot me
Counting the days till I come back
Pray to God this time goes fast
Can't handle this bullshit anymore
No one for me to adore
Things never change like people say
Don't be shocked if I die today
Anything to get the fuck out of here
Hey look at that here come the tears
Days of pills and pain
Anger and hurt to restrain
Give into this shit again
Put on a smile its time to pretend

More to come, but sleep time is now.

Chris