I have everything.
I had a rare moment of clarity this evening. My bubbly and talkative self, oddly, gave way to an extremely quiet and introspective moment in a dance club of all places that led to a thoughtful night.
I have everything I want. And unlike many who suddenly feel the despair of purposelessness when happiness strikes, I feel content. It's possible that I'm wired differently than other people, but a successful relationship and career fulfillment actually do it for me; I'm spending around 80 hours each week on a medical school surgery rotation and the remainder desperately clinging to a man who, for once, acknowledges and values my presence, and I can walk down a city street, even without him, and feel an intense joy that permeates me.
I don't know if other people experience this often. In fact, it truly does not matter how other people experience love, joy, and happiness; my experience, as is everyone else's, is singular.
And we might be cut asunder at some point, but an ended romantic relationship, if provided with enough peri-relationship nourishment, need not be considered an unsuccessful relationship, especially if there is an end to the romantic portion that does not affect the platonic portion. And even if the relationship ends due to negative circumstances under your control, it is still not necessarily unsuccessful.
I've reached a new state of calm. I can't say it will significantly impact my affect, but it has clear implications on my mood. I'm going to try my best to maintain this mood for as long as possible.
I have everything I want. And unlike many who suddenly feel the despair of purposelessness when happiness strikes, I feel content. It's possible that I'm wired differently than other people, but a successful relationship and career fulfillment actually do it for me; I'm spending around 80 hours each week on a medical school surgery rotation and the remainder desperately clinging to a man who, for once, acknowledges and values my presence, and I can walk down a city street, even without him, and feel an intense joy that permeates me.
I don't know if other people experience this often. In fact, it truly does not matter how other people experience love, joy, and happiness; my experience, as is everyone else's, is singular.
And we might be cut asunder at some point, but an ended romantic relationship, if provided with enough peri-relationship nourishment, need not be considered an unsuccessful relationship, especially if there is an end to the romantic portion that does not affect the platonic portion. And even if the relationship ends due to negative circumstances under your control, it is still not necessarily unsuccessful.
I've reached a new state of calm. I can't say it will significantly impact my affect, but it has clear implications on my mood. I'm going to try my best to maintain this mood for as long as possible.