Comments | highlydubious: A matter of opinion

highlydubious

A matter of opinion

Apr 09, 2005 23:53

How do you feel about saying you're sorry? What should it entail?

Is waiting for it all to blow over an option? Well, it is an option, but is it a good one?

Is a letter enough? Should there be a lot of groveling? Should it be only "I'm sorry" or should it contain possible reasons (which may or may not anger the other side)? Should it be all ( Read more... )

whining, answer wanted, bummer, personal moments, thoughts

Leave a comment

Back to all threads

Ah, the weekly dose of LJ drama... gryphonk April 9 2005, 22:33:03 UTC

I think that people should say they're sorry when they are, indeed, sorry. I think that if you've reached the conclusion that you did something wrong, and that you're sorry that you did it, then you should go to the person whom you did wrong to, and tell them so. I don't think it's about forgiveness; I forgave people who didn't apologize to me, and I assume other people have done so, too. It's about owning up to something you did, and letting the other person know that not only do you acknowledge that it wrong of you, but also that you wish you hadn't ( ... )

regarding the reasons highlydubious April 9 2005, 23:26:37 UTC

I agree that reasons are not always necessary. Sometimes they don't really matter.. As I see it (at least now) the goal of the apology is not only to have the other side's forgiveness but also what I called "clearing any bad blood" in the original post. This usually means digging into the reasons and reviewing the "behind the scenes" of the entire mess, in order to make amends...
I dunno... too confused at this time...

Re: regarding the reasons nightface April 9 2005, 23:49:41 UTC

But is the goal to make amends, get forgiveness or justify yourself?

You have to be careful with reasons. You need to be honest, but not necessarily explicit. Otherwise it can sound like excuses - "I"m sorry. I did it because X".

highlydubious April 10 2005, 11:27:00 UTC

I guess it's option D - all of the above. I want to clear the air, have both parties understand what has happened and why it happened in order to avoid this situation again.

nightface April 10 2005, 12:23:30 UTC

To do that, IMHO you need to talk face to face. It's the highest bandwidth form of communication and the one at which you are most likely to be properly understood - body language and all that.

(highest bandwidth - Powers, I am such a geek. Almost as bad as "temperature translation buffer") :-)

Back to all threads