Comments | highlydubious: A matter of opinion

highlydubious

A matter of opinion

Apr 09, 2005 23:53

How do you feel about saying you're sorry? What should it entail?

Is waiting for it all to blow over an option? Well, it is an option, but is it a good one?

Is a letter enough? Should there be a lot of groveling? Should it be only "I'm sorry" or should it contain possible reasons (which may or may not anger the other side)? Should it be all ( Read more... )

whining, answer wanted, bummer, personal moments, thoughts

Comments 14

Oh Dubi tryscer April 9 2005, 21:02:42 UTC

I forgive you.

shiffer April 9 2005, 21:06:25 UTC

Yes.

For a more detailed answer please insert a more detailed scenario

highlydubious April 9 2005, 21:18:22 UTC

Try to imagine several situations that may arise questions like the ones I've presented and then answer. Call it a brain tease.

In Order: shiffer April 9 2005, 21:21:58 UTC

Fine. Varies.

Usually not if you want to maintain status quo of relations with subject.

Varies. Varies. Varies. Varies. Varies.

Sometimes, depending on nature of offense.

Yes. People can forgive. Not always, and they have to want to.

highlydubious April 9 2005, 21:44:24 UTC

What would I do without your insights? I can't wait to see your solution to world hunger or aids.

Thread 6

nightface April 9 2005, 22:22:00 UTC

Scenarios ( ... )

Ah, the weekly dose of LJ drama... gryphonk April 9 2005, 22:33:03 UTC

I think that people should say they're sorry when they are, indeed, sorry. I think that if you've reached the conclusion that you did something wrong, and that you're sorry that you did it, then you should go to the person whom you did wrong to, and tell them so. I don't think it's about forgiveness; I forgave people who didn't apologize to me, and I assume other people have done so, too. It's about owning up to something you did, and letting the other person know that not only do you acknowledge that it wrong of you, but also that you wish you hadn't ( ... )

regarding the reasons highlydubious April 9 2005, 23:26:37 UTC

I agree that reasons are not always necessary. Sometimes they don't really matter.. As I see it (at least now) the goal of the apology is not only to have the other side's forgiveness but also what I called "clearing any bad blood" in the original post. This usually means digging into the reasons and reviewing the "behind the scenes" of the entire mess, in order to make amends...
I dunno... too confused at this time...

Re: regarding the reasons nightface April 9 2005, 23:49:41 UTC

But is the goal to make amends, get forgiveness or justify yourself?

You have to be careful with reasons. You need to be honest, but not necessarily explicit. Otherwise it can sound like excuses - "I"m sorry. I did it because X".

highlydubious April 10 2005, 11:27:00 UTC

I guess it's option D - all of the above. I want to clear the air, have both parties understand what has happened and why it happened in order to avoid this situation again.

Thread 5

cogitationitis April 10 2005, 13:55:32 UTC

Face-to-face is better than a phone call; a phone call is better than a hand-written letter; a hand-written letter is better than email; email is better than nothing at all.

Whenever I discover that I have hurt another person, whether I am right or wrong, justified or not, I apologize ASAP. Start with the apology, and, if the other person is having a hard time accepting it, you might go into your reasons for thinking as you did. Try to avoid making excuses, if you can. Better to beg for forgiveness.

A person who can readily admit his/her mistakes is one to be admired.