Fic, no challenge
Title: Alone
Summary: Remus is so busy feeling sorry for himself the world is going on and leaving him behind.
Characters/Pairings: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans, Gideon Prewett, Fabian Prewett
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
Word Count: 1986
Remus sat in one of the plush red chairs in the Gryffindor Common Room. The Quidditch match versus Ravenclaw was upcoming and everybody was abuzz. The Quidditch Team were strategizing in a corner, James leading the idea session with a wild flailing of his arms. Peter was not far away, cheering on the good ideas and offering equally disproving noises when something not so good was suggested. Sirius seemed to be talking to a girl a year younger in a corner, undeniably trying to get her to go out with him for a snog on the Astronomy tower that night.
Even among all the action and excitement, Remus was alone. In fact, he pretty much always felt alone. When James wasn’t up to his eyes in Quidditch he was wrapped around Lily’s little finger. Not that Remus could really complain about this. It took a lot of work on his part to get Lily to come around and even see James as a person and not a constant annoyance. Sirius could have pretty much any girl he wanted, any time he wanted. Well, maybe not really but Remus wasn’t going to argue and then have to worry about how he destroyed Padfoot’s machismo or whatever. Peter… well Peter was probably going to hang on for a long time. When one of the other guys married, his wife would undoubtedly have a friend who they would then set up with Peter and that would really be the end of it. Remus figured he would always be alone.
Remus stood slowly. He snuck up to his room and collected his scarf. His robes were plenty nice, but it was the weekend and he was in his own rather threadbare clothes. He padded softly to the common room door and let himself out. Almost silently he wandered. There was no real aim in mind, just not Gryffindor Tower. The library didn’t hold much interest either, nor did the Astronomy Tower. In time, he found himself in the main entryway. He stood outside near one of the walls and looked out over the lake. Nobody really ever notice Remus, except once a month. Ironically not the werewolf part though. Granted the guys knew about it, but that was just as much adventure time for them than anything. Remus had a different experience then which he often didn’t feel much like talking about.
Sure, people knew who he was, but so often he blended into the backround. The only time he seemed to be noticed at all was right after the full moon. He would walk through a room and people would look at him out the corners of their eyes. He would catch people staring when he looked up, and they would avert their gaze quickly and often blush. Sitting on a cold stone pillar, he pulled a sleeve up. Between the scars and the bug bites, which always seemed to amass much more (regardless of time of year) when he was a werewolf, he could nearly see a pattern.
“Oh Remus.” It was one of the Prewett boys, it seemed to be Gideon, the older of the two. He saw the bright red blotches and seemed concerned. “You know, if you’re allergic to what we’re doing in Herbology, I can get you some cream.” He pulled up his own sleeve, showing similar marks, save that his were actually from plants.
Remus smiled politely. “Thank you, Gideon. I’m afraid though I’m allergic to a lot of the creams and salves as well. I just end up with an arm full of rash.”
Gideon nodded, “Well I can understand how that isn’t very helpful. Say, why are you out here by yourself? It’s going to get dark out soon. Come inside, Fabian and I are going to play some cards in the Great Hall, maybe you would like to join us!” The curly haired boy smiled. Clearly he was a Hufflepuff through and through and felt quite bad that someone else was clearly being excluded. Moments later, his younger brother Fabian came bursting through the door and launched himself at Gideon. The two boys laughed, jostling for position for a few moments. “So, what do you say, Remus?”
The Gryffindor smiled politely. “No, thank you. I’m waiting for someone and I’m a bit early.” Somehow hanging out with James had rubbed off on him. The lie came easily, almost easy enough that he believed it. The smile that he had already matched with it seemed genuine enough too.
“Ok, well, you know,” Gideon shoved his brother, who was being a pest. “If you change your mind, or they don’t show, come find us. The more the merrier!” Gideon and Fabian both waved as they headed back inside rough housing as only brothers can.
Judging by the height of the sun Remus knew exactly where his friends would be. Sirius was on his way up the Astonomy tower. James had finally let the Quidditch players go and was doing whatever it is that Lily asked of him. Peter was probably sneaking off to the kitchen for a snack. He’d been talking a lot recently about how he was talking to people from the other Houses there and how they had some very different but interesting views on ‘all kinds of things’. Remus wasn’t quite sure what this meant, but since he was quite sure that Peter never had an original idea in his life he wasn’t really concerned. To each their own, he figured. Nobody was looking after him and he certainly didn’t have it together enough to even think of taking care of someone else.
The sun finally slipped below the horizon. The remaining sky was a deep red, which was supposed to imply delight. Remus found none, though. He found even though he thought he should perhaps be crying since he was upset, he was in fact simply numb. His friends were so caught up in their own lives that they never really bothered to pay him much mind. In class was one thing. Once a month it was one thing. The in between was growing rather rapidly, though. Recently when he was trying to talk to Sirius about what was going on in his life, and what plans might be upcoming for him, it was all about girls.
The sudden whirlwind of emotions inside of him stirred up rapidly. He felt such an unbearable pressure that just made him want to lash out. He just wanted to go across the court yard and shove the little first year Ravenclaw who was homesick. Home, what a laugh, this was supposed to be his home, but yet again he remained alone. That did it. Remus stood up and like a man on a mission he strode into the castle. To hell with all of them, he was going to go on his own adventure. Well, not really. He might not have the map to work with, but he did know the back corridor that would drop him by the library study rooms. He didn’t need those guys. They were fake and he didn’t want to be like them.
Remus glanced around, and snuck into one of the study rooms. There was a nice loveseat there. He couldn’t exactly stretch out, but it would suit. He could stay the night here and not be bothered, and probably not be missed either. Nothing could be farther from the truth about being wanting to be like other people. How desperately he wanted to be like each of them for one reason or another. Sirius could talk to people. He had people skills and knew how to interact with pretty much everyone. Even Slytherins Sirius didn’t like, he could still interact with them and hold a conversation. All the Blacks where extroverts. Peter had the courage to go and make new friends when his fellow Lions were busy with other tasks or away. He might not be overly bright, but still he knew that being alone was the worst idea ever and did what was necessary to be with someone who appreciated him. Then there was James. Oh how he envied James most of all. He seemed to really have it together. Lily was smart, pretty, and passionate. Sure, Remus liked Lily, but they had been Prefects together for years now. She was a close friend, but would never be anything more even if Remus wantedt it, which he did not.
The stupid monster inside of him had to torture him constantly. Remus pulled up his sleeve again to look at his arm. He wasn’t particularly interested in the bug bites this time, though he did admire them for a moment. It was something as simple as that which was needed to remind him how alive he really was. Instead he looked at a very old scar. It ran right from the crease of his wrist towards his elbow. Suddenly hot tears welled in his eyes and Remus wasn’t quite expecting that. He didn’t fight them, though he wasn’t sure they would ever drop. Perhaps they would just rest in his eyes and blur his vision. Regardless he looked back to the pink scar. Of course he had lied and said it was just something the wolf made him do, but it was such a lie. Sometimes Remus wasn’t sure how he was supposed to go on with life. His parents never looked at him funny, but he still felt that on some level they resented him or pitied him, neither of which he wanted. He heaved a sigh, tracing the scar with a single finger. He continued to do this for several minutes, remembering the day he had decided to make that mark. In the most twisted way possible he was proud of it.
Certainly nothing was going to make Remus happy tonight. He was going to die old, alone, and probably a virgin. “Merlin’s beard, how embarrassing,” he buried his head in his scarf and felt his face flush with shame. He had kissed a girl once and managed to botch it up so bad he was pretty sure that all of Ravenclaw would shun him for the rest of his life. Then again, since he was upset he could perhaps be a tinge overdramatic.
It wasn’t long before all the pent up emotions just flooded out of him at once. In fact, Remus didn’t even realize he’d fallen asleep until he woke up some hours later with both his legs cramped. Although he still figured that nobody noticed he was gone, he figured he would head back to Gryffindor Tower. At least he could sleep like a normal human being there. He scoffed, normal yeah right.
Backtracking he took himself back up to the common room. Why the Fat Lady was still awake was beyond him, but she didn't seem upset when she let him in, which was a relief. Nothing like a good yelling at whatever hour of the morning it was. Quietly he padded back through the common room and up the stairs to his room. There was pitch blackness and it took him some time to make it to his bed. He climbed in, still in his clothes and scarf, not feeling the need to take them off. Once he was fully settled in, he sighed gently and closed his eyes.
"I missed you tonight, Mooney. Where did you go? I snuck a butterbeer in and I wanted to share it with you but... you were gone."
Remus found himself smiling at the familiar voice. "Sorry," he apologized, instantly forgiving all the things he was holding against his friend hours before. "I went for a walk and sat down. It seems I fell asleep on the couch."
"Oh. Ok. So long as you're ok, mate."
"Yeah," Remus flushed slightly. "I'm good to go, thanks." The only answer he received at that point was gentle snoring.
1986/50= 39.7 = 40 points for Gryffindor
Summary: Remus is so busy feeling sorry for himself the world is going on and leaving him behind.
Characters/Pairings: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans, Gideon Prewett, Fabian Prewett
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
Word Count: 1986
Remus sat in one of the plush red chairs in the Gryffindor Common Room. The Quidditch match versus Ravenclaw was upcoming and everybody was abuzz. The Quidditch Team were strategizing in a corner, James leading the idea session with a wild flailing of his arms. Peter was not far away, cheering on the good ideas and offering equally disproving noises when something not so good was suggested. Sirius seemed to be talking to a girl a year younger in a corner, undeniably trying to get her to go out with him for a snog on the Astronomy tower that night.
Even among all the action and excitement, Remus was alone. In fact, he pretty much always felt alone. When James wasn’t up to his eyes in Quidditch he was wrapped around Lily’s little finger. Not that Remus could really complain about this. It took a lot of work on his part to get Lily to come around and even see James as a person and not a constant annoyance. Sirius could have pretty much any girl he wanted, any time he wanted. Well, maybe not really but Remus wasn’t going to argue and then have to worry about how he destroyed Padfoot’s machismo or whatever. Peter… well Peter was probably going to hang on for a long time. When one of the other guys married, his wife would undoubtedly have a friend who they would then set up with Peter and that would really be the end of it. Remus figured he would always be alone.
Remus stood slowly. He snuck up to his room and collected his scarf. His robes were plenty nice, but it was the weekend and he was in his own rather threadbare clothes. He padded softly to the common room door and let himself out. Almost silently he wandered. There was no real aim in mind, just not Gryffindor Tower. The library didn’t hold much interest either, nor did the Astronomy Tower. In time, he found himself in the main entryway. He stood outside near one of the walls and looked out over the lake. Nobody really ever notice Remus, except once a month. Ironically not the werewolf part though. Granted the guys knew about it, but that was just as much adventure time for them than anything. Remus had a different experience then which he often didn’t feel much like talking about.
Sure, people knew who he was, but so often he blended into the backround. The only time he seemed to be noticed at all was right after the full moon. He would walk through a room and people would look at him out the corners of their eyes. He would catch people staring when he looked up, and they would avert their gaze quickly and often blush. Sitting on a cold stone pillar, he pulled a sleeve up. Between the scars and the bug bites, which always seemed to amass much more (regardless of time of year) when he was a werewolf, he could nearly see a pattern.
“Oh Remus.” It was one of the Prewett boys, it seemed to be Gideon, the older of the two. He saw the bright red blotches and seemed concerned. “You know, if you’re allergic to what we’re doing in Herbology, I can get you some cream.” He pulled up his own sleeve, showing similar marks, save that his were actually from plants.
Remus smiled politely. “Thank you, Gideon. I’m afraid though I’m allergic to a lot of the creams and salves as well. I just end up with an arm full of rash.”
Gideon nodded, “Well I can understand how that isn’t very helpful. Say, why are you out here by yourself? It’s going to get dark out soon. Come inside, Fabian and I are going to play some cards in the Great Hall, maybe you would like to join us!” The curly haired boy smiled. Clearly he was a Hufflepuff through and through and felt quite bad that someone else was clearly being excluded. Moments later, his younger brother Fabian came bursting through the door and launched himself at Gideon. The two boys laughed, jostling for position for a few moments. “So, what do you say, Remus?”
The Gryffindor smiled politely. “No, thank you. I’m waiting for someone and I’m a bit early.” Somehow hanging out with James had rubbed off on him. The lie came easily, almost easy enough that he believed it. The smile that he had already matched with it seemed genuine enough too.
“Ok, well, you know,” Gideon shoved his brother, who was being a pest. “If you change your mind, or they don’t show, come find us. The more the merrier!” Gideon and Fabian both waved as they headed back inside rough housing as only brothers can.
Judging by the height of the sun Remus knew exactly where his friends would be. Sirius was on his way up the Astonomy tower. James had finally let the Quidditch players go and was doing whatever it is that Lily asked of him. Peter was probably sneaking off to the kitchen for a snack. He’d been talking a lot recently about how he was talking to people from the other Houses there and how they had some very different but interesting views on ‘all kinds of things’. Remus wasn’t quite sure what this meant, but since he was quite sure that Peter never had an original idea in his life he wasn’t really concerned. To each their own, he figured. Nobody was looking after him and he certainly didn’t have it together enough to even think of taking care of someone else.
The sun finally slipped below the horizon. The remaining sky was a deep red, which was supposed to imply delight. Remus found none, though. He found even though he thought he should perhaps be crying since he was upset, he was in fact simply numb. His friends were so caught up in their own lives that they never really bothered to pay him much mind. In class was one thing. Once a month it was one thing. The in between was growing rather rapidly, though. Recently when he was trying to talk to Sirius about what was going on in his life, and what plans might be upcoming for him, it was all about girls.
The sudden whirlwind of emotions inside of him stirred up rapidly. He felt such an unbearable pressure that just made him want to lash out. He just wanted to go across the court yard and shove the little first year Ravenclaw who was homesick. Home, what a laugh, this was supposed to be his home, but yet again he remained alone. That did it. Remus stood up and like a man on a mission he strode into the castle. To hell with all of them, he was going to go on his own adventure. Well, not really. He might not have the map to work with, but he did know the back corridor that would drop him by the library study rooms. He didn’t need those guys. They were fake and he didn’t want to be like them.
Remus glanced around, and snuck into one of the study rooms. There was a nice loveseat there. He couldn’t exactly stretch out, but it would suit. He could stay the night here and not be bothered, and probably not be missed either. Nothing could be farther from the truth about being wanting to be like other people. How desperately he wanted to be like each of them for one reason or another. Sirius could talk to people. He had people skills and knew how to interact with pretty much everyone. Even Slytherins Sirius didn’t like, he could still interact with them and hold a conversation. All the Blacks where extroverts. Peter had the courage to go and make new friends when his fellow Lions were busy with other tasks or away. He might not be overly bright, but still he knew that being alone was the worst idea ever and did what was necessary to be with someone who appreciated him. Then there was James. Oh how he envied James most of all. He seemed to really have it together. Lily was smart, pretty, and passionate. Sure, Remus liked Lily, but they had been Prefects together for years now. She was a close friend, but would never be anything more even if Remus wantedt it, which he did not.
The stupid monster inside of him had to torture him constantly. Remus pulled up his sleeve again to look at his arm. He wasn’t particularly interested in the bug bites this time, though he did admire them for a moment. It was something as simple as that which was needed to remind him how alive he really was. Instead he looked at a very old scar. It ran right from the crease of his wrist towards his elbow. Suddenly hot tears welled in his eyes and Remus wasn’t quite expecting that. He didn’t fight them, though he wasn’t sure they would ever drop. Perhaps they would just rest in his eyes and blur his vision. Regardless he looked back to the pink scar. Of course he had lied and said it was just something the wolf made him do, but it was such a lie. Sometimes Remus wasn’t sure how he was supposed to go on with life. His parents never looked at him funny, but he still felt that on some level they resented him or pitied him, neither of which he wanted. He heaved a sigh, tracing the scar with a single finger. He continued to do this for several minutes, remembering the day he had decided to make that mark. In the most twisted way possible he was proud of it.
Certainly nothing was going to make Remus happy tonight. He was going to die old, alone, and probably a virgin. “Merlin’s beard, how embarrassing,” he buried his head in his scarf and felt his face flush with shame. He had kissed a girl once and managed to botch it up so bad he was pretty sure that all of Ravenclaw would shun him for the rest of his life. Then again, since he was upset he could perhaps be a tinge overdramatic.
It wasn’t long before all the pent up emotions just flooded out of him at once. In fact, Remus didn’t even realize he’d fallen asleep until he woke up some hours later with both his legs cramped. Although he still figured that nobody noticed he was gone, he figured he would head back to Gryffindor Tower. At least he could sleep like a normal human being there. He scoffed, normal yeah right.
Backtracking he took himself back up to the common room. Why the Fat Lady was still awake was beyond him, but she didn't seem upset when she let him in, which was a relief. Nothing like a good yelling at whatever hour of the morning it was. Quietly he padded back through the common room and up the stairs to his room. There was pitch blackness and it took him some time to make it to his bed. He climbed in, still in his clothes and scarf, not feeling the need to take them off. Once he was fully settled in, he sighed gently and closed his eyes.
"I missed you tonight, Mooney. Where did you go? I snuck a butterbeer in and I wanted to share it with you but... you were gone."
Remus found himself smiling at the familiar voice. "Sorry," he apologized, instantly forgiving all the things he was holding against his friend hours before. "I went for a walk and sat down. It seems I fell asleep on the couch."
"Oh. Ok. So long as you're ok, mate."
"Yeah," Remus flushed slightly. "I'm good to go, thanks." The only answer he received at that point was gentle snoring.
1986/50= 39.7 = 40 points for Gryffindor