SS dec1.0 - Mistletoe Missteps
Title: Mistletoe Misstep
Summary: For Dec 1.0 Saturday Special: Mistletoe Missteps!
Characters/Pairings: Hermione Granger/Xenophilius Lovegood. Oh yes I went there.
Genre: Crack I guess? idek
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
Word Count: 1020
"My dear girl, don't feel bad about it at all! Kissing is possibly the most natural way to ward off Nargles!"
Hermione gawped at Xenophilius Lovegood like he had just landed there from Mars. She was used to the same sort of thing from Luna, but at least she tended to keep without her personal area! "Does this natural way to ward off Nargles really require the use of tongues?"
"Surprisingly, yes!" Xenophilius proclaimed. "It's important to stimulate saliva production once a Nargle has decided to make you its home! It changes the ambience inside your head and becomes undesirable for them to house a nest in it!"
Hermione remained rooted to the spot. she wanted nothing more than to run off somewhere and Obliviate the pair of them, but somehow Xenophilius' unphased demeanour after the act seemed to be throwing her in a way that intrigued her. Horribly.
"Didn't you... I'm a friend of Luna's!" Hermione asked indignantly. "Can't you see that that's completely inappropriate?"
"Ah, my dear", Xenophilus said with a knowing smile. "I think you're a little afraid of what has to be done."
"Excuse me?" Hermione went pink.
"You are too wrapped up in appropriateness and social convention! That's probably why the Nargles went for you in the first place! Earwax is like nectar to them, you see! But it's not that that drives them to you, they like to burrow and make thoughts go all fuzzy because it's comfortable for tham! And you see, the best people to target are those whose thoughts are the sharpest, clearest, most astute!"
Hermione couldn't believe she was listening to this. "So then, I..."
"Yes, as I remember, you kissed me back."
Hermione's pinkness slowly turned redder. She did. In the moment it felt completely right to her. She hadn't had a single doubt that this was what she needed to do, but it wasn't because of Nargles. It was because of Luna.
She hadn't really placed what it was about Luna that made her feel the way she did, but it was probably these eccentricities. They were alien to her, but she was determined to decipher them somehow, because that was what Hermione Granger did.
"I.... I think I just wanted to... to know what it felt like, you se," she mumbled. "It's been, it's been a while and I didn't know if all-"
"Ahh, an agenda," Xenophilius said wisely. "You shouldn't set too firmly to agendas. They do have a nasty habit of going awry, and when they do you always feel like you've let yourself down somehow."
"I think I have," Hermione said, bowing her head.
"But you haven't!" Xenophilius exclaimed, pointing at the young woman with twinkling eyes. "Don't you see? What you see as a disappointment should be seen as an opportunity! You ought to be happy to take this, this unexpected moment and go forward with it! I hear from Luna you're quite an attentive young woman?"
"I- uh, I suppose?"
"Then you should be curious about what is yet to come! You're afraid, I take it? But don't be, don't be afraid. Sometimes fear can cloud your judgment. That's one of the side-effects of Nargles."
She wanted to wring his neck about mentioning Nargles, but she couldn't bring herself to entertain the idea. Ever since she had seen Mr Lovegood at Bill and Fleur's wedding, she was impressed with the way he held himself, confident and unassuming, unafraid of how much of an idiot he looked, and encouraging his daughter to be who she wanted to be. It reminded her of her own father. Although Hermione loved her dad he did like things to be conventional and straightforward. He had taken so much convincing when Hermione had received the Hogwarts letter; of course he came around eventually, but Hermione had never quite managed to shake that look of disappointment in her dad's eyes when in that one moment he realised that his plans for his daughter's future were all falling by the wayside because of factors outside of his control.
She wondered if she was like him now. Planning ahead for everything, determined to be the best person she could be, aiming to reach ever higher. And then there was Xenophilius who lived for the moment, talked absolute nonsense and seemed to lack all sceptical attributes known to man, and yet he was happy. Hermione was happy but she had had to attain happiness through her refuges. Was his way a simpler path? Luna was no fool, even though she did talk nonsense a lot of the time, and she had never once doubted herself, even through those times when she didn't fit in. Hermione had had more empathy for the schoolgirl back then than either of them cared to admit.
"I've been wondering...." Hermione admitted. "I just wanted to know."
"And now you do," said Xenophilius. "How do you feel?"
She tried to chase a word round her mouth but it continued to elude her. Finally she settled on something adequate. "Yeah, it was all right."
He smiled patiently in the way Dumbledore used to in times of social awkwardness, while the person in his presence tried to work out something he had realised a long, long time ago.
Hermione was standing here, completely wrong-footed. A mis-step under the mistletoe. And he was waiting for her to come to a conclusion that to him was perfectly natural.
"My head feels funny," she finally said. Xenophilius looked concerned:
"Perhaps it's the Nargles still," he said. "Would you like a glass of water or a-"
Hermione cut him off by planting her lips firmly on his. He responded by breathing through his mouth, then finally forming his own lips into a shape that complimented the movement of the young witch's body against his own.
Luna sat in the corner of the room pleasantly watching her dad and her friend get to know each other better. She was happy they had finally got together after all this time, and even prouder of herself for finding a branch of mistletoe still healthy in April.
Rob/Gryffindor/34 points GET!!
Summary: For Dec 1.0 Saturday Special: Mistletoe Missteps!
Characters/Pairings: Hermione Granger/Xenophilius Lovegood. Oh yes I went there.
Genre: Crack I guess? idek
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
Word Count: 1020
"My dear girl, don't feel bad about it at all! Kissing is possibly the most natural way to ward off Nargles!"
Hermione gawped at Xenophilius Lovegood like he had just landed there from Mars. She was used to the same sort of thing from Luna, but at least she tended to keep without her personal area! "Does this natural way to ward off Nargles really require the use of tongues?"
"Surprisingly, yes!" Xenophilius proclaimed. "It's important to stimulate saliva production once a Nargle has decided to make you its home! It changes the ambience inside your head and becomes undesirable for them to house a nest in it!"
Hermione remained rooted to the spot. she wanted nothing more than to run off somewhere and Obliviate the pair of them, but somehow Xenophilius' unphased demeanour after the act seemed to be throwing her in a way that intrigued her. Horribly.
"Didn't you... I'm a friend of Luna's!" Hermione asked indignantly. "Can't you see that that's completely inappropriate?"
"Ah, my dear", Xenophilus said with a knowing smile. "I think you're a little afraid of what has to be done."
"Excuse me?" Hermione went pink.
"You are too wrapped up in appropriateness and social convention! That's probably why the Nargles went for you in the first place! Earwax is like nectar to them, you see! But it's not that that drives them to you, they like to burrow and make thoughts go all fuzzy because it's comfortable for tham! And you see, the best people to target are those whose thoughts are the sharpest, clearest, most astute!"
Hermione couldn't believe she was listening to this. "So then, I..."
"Yes, as I remember, you kissed me back."
Hermione's pinkness slowly turned redder. She did. In the moment it felt completely right to her. She hadn't had a single doubt that this was what she needed to do, but it wasn't because of Nargles. It was because of Luna.
She hadn't really placed what it was about Luna that made her feel the way she did, but it was probably these eccentricities. They were alien to her, but she was determined to decipher them somehow, because that was what Hermione Granger did.
"I.... I think I just wanted to... to know what it felt like, you se," she mumbled. "It's been, it's been a while and I didn't know if all-"
"Ahh, an agenda," Xenophilius said wisely. "You shouldn't set too firmly to agendas. They do have a nasty habit of going awry, and when they do you always feel like you've let yourself down somehow."
"I think I have," Hermione said, bowing her head.
"But you haven't!" Xenophilius exclaimed, pointing at the young woman with twinkling eyes. "Don't you see? What you see as a disappointment should be seen as an opportunity! You ought to be happy to take this, this unexpected moment and go forward with it! I hear from Luna you're quite an attentive young woman?"
"I- uh, I suppose?"
"Then you should be curious about what is yet to come! You're afraid, I take it? But don't be, don't be afraid. Sometimes fear can cloud your judgment. That's one of the side-effects of Nargles."
She wanted to wring his neck about mentioning Nargles, but she couldn't bring herself to entertain the idea. Ever since she had seen Mr Lovegood at Bill and Fleur's wedding, she was impressed with the way he held himself, confident and unassuming, unafraid of how much of an idiot he looked, and encouraging his daughter to be who she wanted to be. It reminded her of her own father. Although Hermione loved her dad he did like things to be conventional and straightforward. He had taken so much convincing when Hermione had received the Hogwarts letter; of course he came around eventually, but Hermione had never quite managed to shake that look of disappointment in her dad's eyes when in that one moment he realised that his plans for his daughter's future were all falling by the wayside because of factors outside of his control.
She wondered if she was like him now. Planning ahead for everything, determined to be the best person she could be, aiming to reach ever higher. And then there was Xenophilius who lived for the moment, talked absolute nonsense and seemed to lack all sceptical attributes known to man, and yet he was happy. Hermione was happy but she had had to attain happiness through her refuges. Was his way a simpler path? Luna was no fool, even though she did talk nonsense a lot of the time, and she had never once doubted herself, even through those times when she didn't fit in. Hermione had had more empathy for the schoolgirl back then than either of them cared to admit.
"I've been wondering...." Hermione admitted. "I just wanted to know."
"And now you do," said Xenophilius. "How do you feel?"
She tried to chase a word round her mouth but it continued to elude her. Finally she settled on something adequate. "Yeah, it was all right."
He smiled patiently in the way Dumbledore used to in times of social awkwardness, while the person in his presence tried to work out something he had realised a long, long time ago.
Hermione was standing here, completely wrong-footed. A mis-step under the mistletoe. And he was waiting for her to come to a conclusion that to him was perfectly natural.
"My head feels funny," she finally said. Xenophilius looked concerned:
"Perhaps it's the Nargles still," he said. "Would you like a glass of water or a-"
Hermione cut him off by planting her lips firmly on his. He responded by breathing through his mouth, then finally forming his own lips into a shape that complimented the movement of the young witch's body against his own.
Luna sat in the corner of the room pleasantly watching her dad and her friend get to know each other better. She was happy they had finally got together after all this time, and even prouder of herself for finding a branch of mistletoe still healthy in April.
Rob/Gryffindor/34 points GET!!