Fic: Inglourious Tiem Lordes (Doctor Who/Inglourious Basterds, PG-13)
Yes, I plan to continue my "Donny as a companion" story, but I got this plot bunny and I just had to write it.
Title: Inglourious Tiem Lordes
Rating: PG-13 (for some language)
Fandoms: Inglourious Basterds/Doctor Who (a Whoniverse AU)
Character(s): Sgt. Donny Donowitz (the Bear Jew), mentions of Col. Hans Landa (the Jew Hunter), the Doctor, and the Master
Warning: Spoilers for the end of Inglourious Basterds.
Summary: Some say the Bear Jew was too manly to die...
A fist punched through the rubble of the theater. Soon, another followed. No human could do that. No human could survive that. Then, a loud guttural roar pierced the night with a rage that seemed older than the stars, a satisfaction that knew no bounds, and a hunger that could not be sated. And the Bear raised his dark head, his eyes blazing with an ancient fury, and uttered just two words.
"FUCK! THIS!"
He rose up from the debris, a dark phoenix in darker ashes, staggering away. He only had minutes before he would regenerate. He was not ready to give up this body yet---he felt that it was his favorite regeneration form, even though he'd spent much of it as a human.
No one noticed his fob watch. No one, not even Omar, had noticed when he slipped away and opened the pocket watch, right before they prepared to open fire on the theater. Donny didn't scream as the memories flooded his mind, as he transformed. Even if he wasn't fully aware, in some way, Donny knew. Donny had known when he'd met his old nemesis---Colonel Landa, as he was calling himself now. Though Landa was also in human form, a quick look passed between them, and that look said everything.
Of course you survived. It had to be you.
They would meet again. That was the only thing in this universe he could ever be sure of. Every Bear met a Hunter in the woods.
But his most glorious moment was firing that gun, knowing he had changed the one thing that the Hunter, the Master, and not even the sainted Doctor could ever rectify (not that the Doctor would admit he'd tried).
Now it was finished. Sergeant Donny Donowitz had served his purpose. Strangely, he already missed Donny. Perhaps he missed Donny's simple existence: living only for revenge, only to kill, savagely savoring every victory. His simplicity was so much easier than the complexities of a Time Lord.
Really, were he and Donny so different? He'd relied on instinct, never a moral code, which led to many conflicting decisions over his long life. At the Academy, he'd never been as scheming as the Master, as calculating as the Hunter, or as noble as the Doctor; he was their equivalent of a schoolyard bully. In this little war on this little planet, was Donny really anything more than that?
He forced himself to wander several blocks over, looking for something he knew Donny had stashed, though he hadn't understood why. What was it? What the fuck could it be? He scoured the alley, searched through all of the trash and abandoned items as his wounds healed but the pain still ravaged his body.
And then he saw it, all battered and bloodstained. The baseball bat that bludgeoned a thousand Nazis (well, maybe not that many, but he'd lost count after 274). He picked it up, feeling all the sides carefully, until he pressed the long wooden buttons with his pain-engorged fingers. He set his bat down and it grew. And grew. And grew until he could fit inside it. Even the Doctor didn't have a mechanism like that on his TARDIS---it was probably still shaped like that idiotic blue box.
"Sorry about all of this, girl." He murmured stroked the console and began to press buttons and pull lever for the first time in what seemed like centuries. Every Time Lord loved his TARDIS, especially when it was one of only two Type 40s left in the galaxy (the Doctor wasn't as special as he thought).
The pain suddenly became unbearable. No, not yet. There were so many things he could do in this body, so many things he could do with it. He just needed more time. That was always the catch, wasn't it?
The Bear looked down and saw his hands begin to glow. Not yet, not now. Why now? If this body could do so much for Donny, why couldn't it do so for him?
Shit. Time for last words. But what? "I don't want to go?" Too whiny. "I'll be back?" He used that when he called himself Schwarzenegger. What would Donny say?
And then he had it.
"Fuck you, Gallifrey. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!"
He could feel his TARDIS begin to take off as the gold and orange glow engulfed his body. And he knew exactly who he would go after when it was all done.
Title: Inglourious Tiem Lordes
Rating: PG-13 (for some language)
Fandoms: Inglourious Basterds/Doctor Who (a Whoniverse AU)
Character(s): Sgt. Donny Donowitz (the Bear Jew), mentions of Col. Hans Landa (the Jew Hunter), the Doctor, and the Master
Warning: Spoilers for the end of Inglourious Basterds.
Summary: Some say the Bear Jew was too manly to die...
A fist punched through the rubble of the theater. Soon, another followed. No human could do that. No human could survive that. Then, a loud guttural roar pierced the night with a rage that seemed older than the stars, a satisfaction that knew no bounds, and a hunger that could not be sated. And the Bear raised his dark head, his eyes blazing with an ancient fury, and uttered just two words.
"FUCK! THIS!"
He rose up from the debris, a dark phoenix in darker ashes, staggering away. He only had minutes before he would regenerate. He was not ready to give up this body yet---he felt that it was his favorite regeneration form, even though he'd spent much of it as a human.
No one noticed his fob watch. No one, not even Omar, had noticed when he slipped away and opened the pocket watch, right before they prepared to open fire on the theater. Donny didn't scream as the memories flooded his mind, as he transformed. Even if he wasn't fully aware, in some way, Donny knew. Donny had known when he'd met his old nemesis---Colonel Landa, as he was calling himself now. Though Landa was also in human form, a quick look passed between them, and that look said everything.
Of course you survived. It had to be you.
They would meet again. That was the only thing in this universe he could ever be sure of. Every Bear met a Hunter in the woods.
But his most glorious moment was firing that gun, knowing he had changed the one thing that the Hunter, the Master, and not even the sainted Doctor could ever rectify (not that the Doctor would admit he'd tried).
Now it was finished. Sergeant Donny Donowitz had served his purpose. Strangely, he already missed Donny. Perhaps he missed Donny's simple existence: living only for revenge, only to kill, savagely savoring every victory. His simplicity was so much easier than the complexities of a Time Lord.
Really, were he and Donny so different? He'd relied on instinct, never a moral code, which led to many conflicting decisions over his long life. At the Academy, he'd never been as scheming as the Master, as calculating as the Hunter, or as noble as the Doctor; he was their equivalent of a schoolyard bully. In this little war on this little planet, was Donny really anything more than that?
He forced himself to wander several blocks over, looking for something he knew Donny had stashed, though he hadn't understood why. What was it? What the fuck could it be? He scoured the alley, searched through all of the trash and abandoned items as his wounds healed but the pain still ravaged his body.
And then he saw it, all battered and bloodstained. The baseball bat that bludgeoned a thousand Nazis (well, maybe not that many, but he'd lost count after 274). He picked it up, feeling all the sides carefully, until he pressed the long wooden buttons with his pain-engorged fingers. He set his bat down and it grew. And grew. And grew until he could fit inside it. Even the Doctor didn't have a mechanism like that on his TARDIS---it was probably still shaped like that idiotic blue box.
"Sorry about all of this, girl." He murmured stroked the console and began to press buttons and pull lever for the first time in what seemed like centuries. Every Time Lord loved his TARDIS, especially when it was one of only two Type 40s left in the galaxy (the Doctor wasn't as special as he thought).
The pain suddenly became unbearable. No, not yet. There were so many things he could do in this body, so many things he could do with it. He just needed more time. That was always the catch, wasn't it?
The Bear looked down and saw his hands begin to glow. Not yet, not now. Why now? If this body could do so much for Donny, why couldn't it do so for him?
Shit. Time for last words. But what? "I don't want to go?" Too whiny. "I'll be back?" He used that when he called himself Schwarzenegger. What would Donny say?
And then he had it.
"Fuck you, Gallifrey. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!"
He could feel his TARDIS begin to take off as the gold and orange glow engulfed his body. And he knew exactly who he would go after when it was all done.