the here's luck and renenet show™: outtakes and lost episodes
renenet and I spend a lot of time on the phone. Sometimes I take notes. Then I forget about the notes for months. Occasionally I remember to round them up and post them. This is one of those times.
Standard disclaimer applies.
renenet: What is that noise? What the hell are you doing?
here's luck: It's cans. I'm trying to get the pantry organized.
renenet: Your pantry's not organized?
here's luck: No. Well, not organized enough. I'm putting everything on the counter so I can put it all back on the shelves in combinations that make more sense. So far I've got nine cans of coconut milk, three cans of mango pulp, a brick of tamarind pulp, eight quarts mushroom broth, five cans organic whole tomatoes, two cans of chickpeas - I should probably get more chickpeas - and a can of black beans for emergencies. Also dried black mushrooms- oh, hey, I have kombu!
renenet: It's like you're running a high-class, really weird soup kitchen.
here's luck: I have strange passions.
renenet: Uh, yeah. Tattoo that on your ass.
(Fall 2005)
renenet: Write this down. We're gonna need a tiered system. "That sucks." "How bad does it suck?" "It's worse than coming home to nazgul-shrieking pipes, but not as bad as being poisoned by oyster stew." That's two fairly low points on our scale. We're gonna need more points of reference. Like: something could be not as bad as watching Anaconda on mute, which would be not as bad as nazgul-shrieking pipes. Or maybe worse. But, you know, I was assuming being poisoned to death by the oyster stew, which didn't actually happen. These things are flexible and adaptable, extemporaneously. So you could say that something is worse than being poisoned by oyster stew, but not as bad as being poisoned with oyster stew by your mother on Christmas Eve.* It's all in the emphasis and what details you choose to include. As a measurement system goes, it's imprecise; but I like the portability. And now I am SO flashing to graphs from 11th grade math class. You can plot cosine-
here's luck: -on the Richter scale of suckitude.
renenet: And you know that the episode guide for the here's luck & renenet show™ will have the opportunity to Rate This Episode.
here's luck: "This episode was worse than watching Anaconda on mute, but not as bad as nazgul-shrieking pipes."
renenet: We really need more points of reference. But all the points of reference need to be tied to our experiences. Yours and mine.
here's luck: Except two of these are mine and only one is ours, so we need some of yours.
renenet: But through discussion your two things have become my things! They're our mutual topics. Oyster stew has gone beyond your nightmare and turned into our mutual joke. Except joke trivializes it, so more like... funny thing where your mom almost killed you. [pause] Oh! "Thing" is where I was going with that. "Mutual thing." [pause] I had kringle today.
here's luck: You had what now?
renenet: Kringle!
here's luck: Oh! I thought you said "crinkle," and I couldn't make ANY sense of that.
renenet: No, kringle.
here's luck: Mmmmm, kringle.
renenet: Do you know kringle from living here, or is it the whole of-German-extraction thing?
here's luck: No, it's a way-back thing from my childhood. Although actually you can get kringle in some parts of Texas, too - kringle, kolaches - because of the German and Czech populations down around New Braunfels. Mmmm, New Braunfels Smokehouse. Best damn bratwurst for at least 300 miles in any direction. Not that that's saying much.
renenet: And now I'm hungry.
here's luck: Well, if you had food in the house you could eat it.
renenet: You're so funny.
here's luck: I have food.
renenet: And you're so smug about it.
here's luck: I have potato leek soup, and wild rice soup, and squash soup, and hummus and pita...
renenet: How's that supply of organic squash coming along? **
here's luck: I've only used two!
renenet: So the supply might last to '06?
here's luck: Oh, it'll definitely last into '06. It's just not clear how FAR into '06.
renenet: "Better than a fresh supply of organic squash."
here's luck: Very few things are better than a fresh supply of organic squash.
renenet: We could also temporarily pencil in "living in kringle country." I'm going to want this diagrammed, by the way. Once we've got it fleshed out. [pause] I think I may need boneless wings. Which is the stupidest name for something ever, but which tastes amazing. With the spicy chipotle sauce. And also blue cheese dressing, which mixes really well with the spicy chipotle sauce.
here's luck: You are so disgusting.
(December 2005)
* The oyster stew thing actually happened. Christmas Eve 2001, my mother "forgot" my lifelong allergy to seafood and made oyster stew for dinner, and then was annoyed that I wasn't eating it until my brother pointed out that it would KILL ME. Upon reflection, renenet and I agreed that the only surprising thing about this event was that it hadn't happened before.
** The bit about squash is an allusion to Thanksgiving 2005, when I purchased about thirty pounds of organic squash while visiting truepenny and mirrorthaw and transported it across state lines for my personal use. The supply did in fact last into early February.
re: the draft of New Frontier:
renenet: The shiny is very shiny. And the thinky is very thinky. And together? They fight crime!
(January 2006)
renenet: Ambivalence and irresponsibility in Milwaukee!
here's luck: It's like Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas. Or Down & Out in Paris & London.
renenet: ...or not.
(February 2006)
Re: h.l's plans for Tre Sorelle:
here's luck: Well, the main goal is "shiny". I might also try for deep thematic whatever, but we'll see.
renenet: Oh, I like deep thematic whatever. With sprinkles.
(March 2006)
here's luck: My CSA box had... let's see... Easter egg radishes, and purple scallions, and-
renenet: Oh my god. You got a box of preposterous vegetables.
here's luck: "Preposterous vegetables"! That should totally be the new name of my LJ.
renenet: "All preposterous vegetables, all the time."
(June 2006)
here's luck: You know, I have DVD-ready files of " Out Here" now. I should burn you a DVD of that vid on perpetual repeat.
renenet: I asked you for that MONTHS ago.
here's luck: Yes, but I didn't have the DVD-ready files then. Now I do.
renenet: Okay then.
here's luck: Of course, I don't have blank DVDs to record it to.
renenet: I could send you some!
here's luck: That's just silly. I should buy some.
renenet: Hey! I have a DVD burner in my computer! You could send me the files and I could burn the DVD.
here's luck: Eh. Takes too long to upload.
renenet: Did I mention that I've been waiting for this DVD for MONTHS?
here's luck: You'll get it eventually. Of course by then you'll be all into Supernatural and you won't even care about the vid anymore. You'll be all "When are you going to watch Supernatural in secret and make me a vid? Huh? Huh? When?"
renenet: Oh my god I am SPORKING YOU. You make me SO VIOLENT. I hate you SO MUCH.
here's luck: That better be a pretty long spork. You're southeast of me, you know.
(October 2006)
renenet: Oh no! I missed the "David Hewlitt How Are You So Awesome" postcard campaign!
here's luck: You missed it? Where WERE you?
renenet: What? Did YOU know about this?
here's luck: Of course not! But it's not my job to know this stuff. I could give a shit.
renenet: "Couldn't" give a shit.
here's luck: Sure. Fine. Whatever.
renenet: Oh, I'm sorry, was that that thing you do? That I can't remember the name of?
here's luck: Excessive literal-mindedness and rigorous application of rigor for the sake of itself?
renenet: Yes! That!
(January 26, 2007)
here's luck: Speaking of which, I was gonna go work on that vid.
renenet: OMG that vid!
here's luck: What about that vid?
renenet: That VID!
here's luck: That vid doesn't even exist yet! That vid is barely in the clipping stages! You don't know anything about this vid! I don't know anything about this vid!
renenet: That song! For that show! For that character!
here's luck: WHICH character?
renenet: I don't know!
here's luck: You are SO FULL OF SHIT.
(January 27, 2007)
It's a good thing she's my favorite, is all I'm saying.
Standard disclaimer applies.
renenet: What is that noise? What the hell are you doing?
here's luck: It's cans. I'm trying to get the pantry organized.
renenet: Your pantry's not organized?
here's luck: No. Well, not organized enough. I'm putting everything on the counter so I can put it all back on the shelves in combinations that make more sense. So far I've got nine cans of coconut milk, three cans of mango pulp, a brick of tamarind pulp, eight quarts mushroom broth, five cans organic whole tomatoes, two cans of chickpeas - I should probably get more chickpeas - and a can of black beans for emergencies. Also dried black mushrooms- oh, hey, I have kombu!
renenet: It's like you're running a high-class, really weird soup kitchen.
here's luck: I have strange passions.
renenet: Uh, yeah. Tattoo that on your ass.
(Fall 2005)
renenet: Write this down. We're gonna need a tiered system. "That sucks." "How bad does it suck?" "It's worse than coming home to nazgul-shrieking pipes, but not as bad as being poisoned by oyster stew." That's two fairly low points on our scale. We're gonna need more points of reference. Like: something could be not as bad as watching Anaconda on mute, which would be not as bad as nazgul-shrieking pipes. Or maybe worse. But, you know, I was assuming being poisoned to death by the oyster stew, which didn't actually happen. These things are flexible and adaptable, extemporaneously. So you could say that something is worse than being poisoned by oyster stew, but not as bad as being poisoned with oyster stew by your mother on Christmas Eve.* It's all in the emphasis and what details you choose to include. As a measurement system goes, it's imprecise; but I like the portability. And now I am SO flashing to graphs from 11th grade math class. You can plot cosine-
here's luck: -on the Richter scale of suckitude.
renenet: And you know that the episode guide for the here's luck & renenet show™ will have the opportunity to Rate This Episode.
here's luck: "This episode was worse than watching Anaconda on mute, but not as bad as nazgul-shrieking pipes."
renenet: We really need more points of reference. But all the points of reference need to be tied to our experiences. Yours and mine.
here's luck: Except two of these are mine and only one is ours, so we need some of yours.
renenet: But through discussion your two things have become my things! They're our mutual topics. Oyster stew has gone beyond your nightmare and turned into our mutual joke. Except joke trivializes it, so more like... funny thing where your mom almost killed you. [pause] Oh! "Thing" is where I was going with that. "Mutual thing." [pause] I had kringle today.
here's luck: You had what now?
renenet: Kringle!
here's luck: Oh! I thought you said "crinkle," and I couldn't make ANY sense of that.
renenet: No, kringle.
here's luck: Mmmmm, kringle.
renenet: Do you know kringle from living here, or is it the whole of-German-extraction thing?
here's luck: No, it's a way-back thing from my childhood. Although actually you can get kringle in some parts of Texas, too - kringle, kolaches - because of the German and Czech populations down around New Braunfels. Mmmm, New Braunfels Smokehouse. Best damn bratwurst for at least 300 miles in any direction. Not that that's saying much.
renenet: And now I'm hungry.
here's luck: Well, if you had food in the house you could eat it.
renenet: You're so funny.
here's luck: I have food.
renenet: And you're so smug about it.
here's luck: I have potato leek soup, and wild rice soup, and squash soup, and hummus and pita...
renenet: How's that supply of organic squash coming along? **
here's luck: I've only used two!
renenet: So the supply might last to '06?
here's luck: Oh, it'll definitely last into '06. It's just not clear how FAR into '06.
renenet: "Better than a fresh supply of organic squash."
here's luck: Very few things are better than a fresh supply of organic squash.
renenet: We could also temporarily pencil in "living in kringle country." I'm going to want this diagrammed, by the way. Once we've got it fleshed out. [pause] I think I may need boneless wings. Which is the stupidest name for something ever, but which tastes amazing. With the spicy chipotle sauce. And also blue cheese dressing, which mixes really well with the spicy chipotle sauce.
here's luck: You are so disgusting.
(December 2005)
* The oyster stew thing actually happened. Christmas Eve 2001, my mother "forgot" my lifelong allergy to seafood and made oyster stew for dinner, and then was annoyed that I wasn't eating it until my brother pointed out that it would KILL ME. Upon reflection, renenet and I agreed that the only surprising thing about this event was that it hadn't happened before.
** The bit about squash is an allusion to Thanksgiving 2005, when I purchased about thirty pounds of organic squash while visiting truepenny and mirrorthaw and transported it across state lines for my personal use. The supply did in fact last into early February.
re: the draft of New Frontier:
renenet: The shiny is very shiny. And the thinky is very thinky. And together? They fight crime!
(January 2006)
renenet: Ambivalence and irresponsibility in Milwaukee!
here's luck: It's like Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas. Or Down & Out in Paris & London.
renenet: ...or not.
(February 2006)
Re: h.l's plans for Tre Sorelle:
here's luck: Well, the main goal is "shiny". I might also try for deep thematic whatever, but we'll see.
renenet: Oh, I like deep thematic whatever. With sprinkles.
(March 2006)
here's luck: My CSA box had... let's see... Easter egg radishes, and purple scallions, and-
renenet: Oh my god. You got a box of preposterous vegetables.
here's luck: "Preposterous vegetables"! That should totally be the new name of my LJ.
renenet: "All preposterous vegetables, all the time."
(June 2006)
here's luck: You know, I have DVD-ready files of " Out Here" now. I should burn you a DVD of that vid on perpetual repeat.
renenet: I asked you for that MONTHS ago.
here's luck: Yes, but I didn't have the DVD-ready files then. Now I do.
renenet: Okay then.
here's luck: Of course, I don't have blank DVDs to record it to.
renenet: I could send you some!
here's luck: That's just silly. I should buy some.
renenet: Hey! I have a DVD burner in my computer! You could send me the files and I could burn the DVD.
here's luck: Eh. Takes too long to upload.
renenet: Did I mention that I've been waiting for this DVD for MONTHS?
here's luck: You'll get it eventually. Of course by then you'll be all into Supernatural and you won't even care about the vid anymore. You'll be all "When are you going to watch Supernatural in secret and make me a vid? Huh? Huh? When?"
renenet: Oh my god I am SPORKING YOU. You make me SO VIOLENT. I hate you SO MUCH.
here's luck: That better be a pretty long spork. You're southeast of me, you know.
(October 2006)
renenet: Oh no! I missed the "David Hewlitt How Are You So Awesome" postcard campaign!
here's luck: You missed it? Where WERE you?
renenet: What? Did YOU know about this?
here's luck: Of course not! But it's not my job to know this stuff. I could give a shit.
renenet: "Couldn't" give a shit.
here's luck: Sure. Fine. Whatever.
renenet: Oh, I'm sorry, was that that thing you do? That I can't remember the name of?
here's luck: Excessive literal-mindedness and rigorous application of rigor for the sake of itself?
renenet: Yes! That!
(January 26, 2007)
here's luck: Speaking of which, I was gonna go work on that vid.
renenet: OMG that vid!
here's luck: What about that vid?
renenet: That VID!
here's luck: That vid doesn't even exist yet! That vid is barely in the clipping stages! You don't know anything about this vid! I don't know anything about this vid!
renenet: That song! For that show! For that character!
here's luck: WHICH character?
renenet: I don't know!
here's luck: You are SO FULL OF SHIT.
(January 27, 2007)
It's a good thing she's my favorite, is all I'm saying.