CONFESSIONS COMICS.

[helpwess]

The majority of votes in yesterday's poll were in the affirmative, so here we are: MARY SUE DAYTIME FANTASY CONFESSIONAL. It doesn't have to be daytime, I'm just saying that cause, hey, how else am I going to get through those boxes of photocopying? Yeah. So! In the interest of embarrassing myself for the entertainment purposes of others, I'll go

Comments

[tarteaucitron]

omg, my old one was exactly like your no.2, minus the weirdly-eyed elijah. Dom would turn up at my house with a map out, asking for directions and I'd be all like yeah, I know who you are. whatever. left at the lights, then first right. and he'd be like wow, you're cool and I'd be like what are you doing in peckham anyway? and he'd be like wanna meet my friend Billy? etc. etc. etc. etc. ad infinitum.

I've never worked up a proper investable mary sue about viggo. grr - yes, there may have been a couple of ridiculous scenarios involving me busking in Charing Cross tube station - but I cling to the actual dream I had one time, about the handcuffs and the frotting (and the husband at the supermarket - no really). *remembers*

[helpwess]

oh my god, tarte, A) BUSKING, i LOVE IT; B) why dont I ever get to have amazing dreams; C)solidarity! Why do we imagine famous boys to be intrigued by our lack of interest and drool? in the current one I have decided that the way that I really cement my awesomeness to jensen ackles is to accuse him of cockblocking me out of free drinks. RIGHT????

[tarteaucitron]

THAT COULD TOTALLY HAPPEN. In fact I'm mostly surprised it hasn't already.

[helpwess]

It's only because he is so far away from me, you see. He pines, I can feel it.

[naty_]

Sadly (or maybe not), the bulk of fantasy time is for sexing, so the "plot" usually goes like: we meet - usually at some event I know that the person will be attending, for that air of, you know, authenticity - and are dazzled by each other's awesomeness. Lameness.

In my mad Ralph Fiennes obsession period, I had actually decided that, given all the amazing things people accomplish just through sheer will, if I made it my goal in life to fuck RF and pursued that goal relentlessly, it would happen. So the end of this little (mostly) fantasy involved my getting close enough to actually explain my "hypothesis" and he would be so impressed....yeah.

I'm sure if I thought about is some more, I could think of some better ones. But this is all I got right now (since I did answer "yes")

[helpwess]

Perhaps if we get enough confessions we can draw some hypotheses about how we all assume that the object of our fantasy is IN LOVE WITH OUR INDIFFERENCE or etc. It turns out that I am all about the chase, as evidenced by every piece of fic I have ever written, so mine are all about the hanging out on the couch and the cooking the spaghetti or whatever. Sigh.

[naty_]

I don't know, maybe for added plausibility? If choice celebrity is won over by our frothing, fannish, creaming-all-over-them, what's to stop them from hooking up with any 'ol random fan?
Also, jfdoh (or whomever!) would be so much, much less cool if he fell for the fawning. And, it's my fantasy and I don't want him to be uncool - all actual, factual, evidence aside.

[helpwess]

Excellent point! You always want to be the one at the event that's like, "sorry about all these crazy people," like, yeah. Plus, that is mysterious and mystery is intriguing. And, like you say, if I am totally boning out on somebody I want to imagine him as my ideal, ie, of course he's not going to be interested in the screamers, and he's a good mama's boy, and of course he doesn't do any drugs how dare you. Oh, N, I am so transparent.

[offtheceiling]

Oh see. My current one is about how my grandmother lives in Dallas, right? And I will be visiting her and being all helpful by going to the grocery store for her. And actually, I'm not sure that Irving is anywhere close to Richardson in the scheme of Dallas suburbs, but that is beside the point. Anyway, lo, Jensen shall be there. And I shall have MANY groceries and he will offer to carry them out, during which time I will, as you say, be as unimpressed as possible by anything but his helpfulness. And then I will explain how I am helping out my grandmother and he will find that sweet of me and invite me have drinks with him (and friends, because Jared is of course in town WITH him, for some reason, instead of in San Antonio) later that night. During drinks, there will be making out.

And, there you have it.

[helpwess]

Clapping! Oh, lots of clapping! I am certain that this is v. probable because you JUST KNOW that jensen is the world's biggest mama's boy, RIGHT?

[offtheceiling]

YES EXACTLY! And see, the next day. He would be like "come to meet my family including my most adorable nephew whom I will cuddle in front of you and make your ovaries melt even though you really do not like children that much. oh, and would you like to move to vancouver during the shooting season and be my soulmate??" to whcih I would say "but, jared is your soulmate." and he would say "truth, but, one can never have too many souldmates and jared and i like to keep things interesting." then we would negotiate deals on threesomes.

Oh, and his mother would LOVE me, because I was a good little Texas girl and not some L.A skank ho.

[helpwess]

OH MY GOD BRAIN TWINS!!!!

[sinca]

I was totally one who in the poll said she would not share but I will say that the whole being married thing does make it SO MUCH HARDER. Because I love my husband and all and I am like, "He would so not be okay with me getting to bite this man."

But I totally want to bite that man!

[sinca]

I just reread this and am completely embarrassed by the lame-osity of it.

[helpwess]

Um, please to be reading MY ENTIRE POST, the most embarrassing post ever, and then the part where naty_ and I were discussing "how do i dispatch not only his SO but mine as well???"

[missdeviant]

I used to have a fantasy that I went to Utah and was an extra on Everwood and Greg Smith would meet me and find me charming and we would like, go down to some secret basement somewhere and I would de-virginize him, and be all "hey, hey, it's okay" when he only lasted like three seconds and then I would teach him the Ways of Love

[helpwess]

oh my god, ann, thank you so much for making me feel validated in my REALLY EMBARRASSING CONFESSION. you win omg.

[missdeviant]

I win at SHAMEFUL CONFESSIONS!

That is not a surprise, given that yesterday as I biked around the lake I saw a hot guy running shirtless and was all "HMMM maybe I will stop at the water fountain and he will stop at the water fountain and we'll be all like "whew. it is hot." and then I will pull him behind a bush next to a whole bunch of Canadian geese and we will MAKE OUT because he is probably in high school and is easy like that."

(I also used to have confessions about boys in HS involving sex in a really clear river/watering hole and then the first time I was at Barton Springs I was like OH BOY. THIS IS GOING INTO THE REPETOIRE!)

[helpwess]

HA HA HA HA!!!!!! I am always like, "boys love it when i drive the truck. they all want me." and it is SO TRUE!!!