the love-hate relationship of PUC...
so much happens in the course of a week, and if i don't write these things down, these thoughts will escape me! and that's that saddest thing that can happen...
levi and i just had a pretty long conversation in the lobby... i was working on my overdue education assignments, but i've learned to never pass up moments for conversations, since they are priceless... we talked about next year, where we see ourselves in ten years (levi sees himself as a flight doctor, after several years of ICU and ER training), and our love-hate relationship of PUC... of course, all sparking from the idea of wind ensemble next year... to sum it up, doc feels that he has to be the sacrificial lamb to see the music department thrive at PUC, and with dr davis' vision of the department, i can see the department actually growing in the next ten years, of course after a major flux initially... this whole idea rings true in our church now... i'm in a focus group with james and zach, and we met with pastor ice today... basically, our pastoral staff now wants to completely target the college, and even if that stirs the waters among the church, so be it... even if that means we lose some of our initial financial backing, if God's really behind our endeavors and it's truly what He wants, then that small flux will result in a huge outpouring of blessing... that really comforted levi to hear...
basically, when it boils down to it, we just need people with a vision of change, a progressive view of positive growth everywhere: in the department, in the church, and in the college... there has been a slow decline everywhere here, in the department, at church... and it all is a result of the decline in the college, because everyone's so focused on finances... james and zach were really set on trying to improve the church service, but i'm sitting there, thinking that this needs to be a movement on a larger picture... the college needs to change... religion classes here are a joke... who frickin' cares that we need to take 18 credits of religion...? it no longer means anything to us... people also stop coming to the college for many reasons, leading back to the slow departing of quality teachers, as well as the unreasonable pricing, caused by the drop of enrollment, caused by the unreasonable pricing and lack of visible quality... a horrible cycle...
it hurts that so many of us have this passion for positive change, and it hasn't really happened... levi describes this hate-love relationship as a love for PUC, but a hate for what's happening... if only quality can be encouraged everywhere... that's the common factor that is lacking in a lot of these situations... it's so hard, b/c as passionate as we are, we can only get the ball rolling... unless people like us stay in the area, it's difficult to find others to carry on the legacy... if that means that i stray away from my dream of teaching in southern california, to stick around here and see this place grow, then it might come down to that... levi complimented me for the ability to sense emotion and analyze people, a quality that very few people have...
he also said that i'm the next generation narducci... the change, or vision that this place needs... and my big push is in a direction of quality... i could see myself having negative feelings aimed at me for the vision i hold though... my vision for PUC is quality... if that means we get rid of majors, specifically music majors, that can't cut it, then so be it... if they truly want to be a music major, they have to put in the necessary effort to improve themselves... people do not see the music department here as quality, b/c the majority of the department here sacrifices quality for numbers... who frickin' cares if we have 50 majors, if 45 of them leave this place with an improper image of what we truly can offer...? get rid of the 45, focus on the 5 good ones, and from those 5, people will see something positive, and people will come...
the sad thing is that a lot of the fixes are long terms processes... but people need to realize that the best things in life take time... the quick fixes in this college have not been successful... a singer doesn't learn how to sing properly from 30 minutes of intense note learning, but years of vocal training...
my dream is long term... graduate, teach in an SDA institution, where i can encourage and foster quality in band and/or choir, seeing them go to an SDA college and still continue in music, possibly going into music education... from that, eventually get a doctorate in theory and teach at an SDA college, encouraging future musicians to become quality teachers, as well as providing quality education in theory, education, and in relating to students...
doc told me today to continue working for the contract band teacher they found for next year, but ask for more... he told me to let them know that if they want me to continue working, doing a job i don't need to do for my personal growth, that they pay half my tuition... i laughed at the idea, thinking it was ridiculous, and that they would hate me for being so pushy, but he decided that he would do everything in his power to make it happen... that guy has done way too much for me here... he and mrs narducci decided to pass down her professional wood clarinet down to me, as well as their MIDI keyboard, a combination reaching about maybe $2000...? and now a tuition cut...? he said that it's b/c i'm the one person making the department look good right now, and they need to do something special for me... ::exhale::
i want good things for PUC... and i'm one person... but that's just it... one person makes a difference... the whole idea of "being the change i see in the world," or department, or school, or church... i need to share my vision, my ideas, with those that can do something about it... like pastor ice shared with us today, don't complain to people that can't do anything about it, to everyone BUT the important individuals... get the right people to believe in you, and that causes the greatest and most effective change... i probably need to access how much i really can do... there is a lot on my plate... and i've learned my limit from this quarter... we'll just have to see how things go...
okay... i think i'm done...
::steps off soapbox::
- - - - - - -
as for what's happened lately... i played several songs for church in the grove with jessica shine and nathan blue's band... played for gospel choir... amy and kristen came up for the jazz band concert, which was awesome... sadly, the last concert with narducci... so many people were saying congratulations like it was the end... doug came up to me, shook my hand, saying that "it's really been a pleasure playing with me, and that this experience has been such an important part of his life," etc... basically a good-bye speech... well, it is the end of jazz band at PUC, so i guess it was alright to say...
several recitals i experienced... krinstin and jessica's recital... krinstin's such an inspiration... for the first time, i'm really excited about practicing this summer for my recital next year... darrin did a wonderful job on the guitar, and young had an impressive, well planned and practiced senior project about korean percussion...
after krin's recital, tif-la and i went to go watch x men... me for the second time, with a more open mindset, and her for the first time... i have to say that i enjoyed it more, the second time over... the music still sucked though... anyways, it was a fun opportunity to hang out with my "ate," probably one of the very rare times it will happen...
finished cleaning up the band library... long term quarter project: complete... had a fun conversation with kari and daryn in the library as we finished cleaning up, although i can't really remember about what... i just remember laughing hysterically, which is rare of daryn, which is what made it memorable, haha...
conversation with josh and andy about music, as always... it digressed from that (and i can't really remember... which is why i probably should've wrote about it then!)...
my credit limit finally raising to $1300, which allowed me to treat myself to a TI Voyage 200... yes, it's a graphing calculator... ::waits for jabs about my nerdiness:: i got too frustrated spending over half an hour trying to figure out how to graph parametric equations on my calculator that i gave up... hey, as long as i get it before the final on wednesday... by the way, calculus III being my ONLY final this finals week... =D
torch passing ceremony for campus ministries... as ty graduates, ivie takes his place... angeli and i will have equal leadership next year... man, interactions next year will be a step up from this year... i can't wait...
everyone finally showing up, for the first time in probably four weeks, to education class today... this year's been awesome... probably the best group of friends, future teachers, in a class that i've really enjoyed... i'm gonna miss a lot of these people next year...
brandon, katie, me, brian, stacy, chris, anna, audrey, sarah, and lindsey...
PE, spanish, music, history, english, religion, religion/english, history, english, and english...
several more days up here... i can't believe this wonderful year, my best year of college, is coming to an end...
levi and i just had a pretty long conversation in the lobby... i was working on my overdue education assignments, but i've learned to never pass up moments for conversations, since they are priceless... we talked about next year, where we see ourselves in ten years (levi sees himself as a flight doctor, after several years of ICU and ER training), and our love-hate relationship of PUC... of course, all sparking from the idea of wind ensemble next year... to sum it up, doc feels that he has to be the sacrificial lamb to see the music department thrive at PUC, and with dr davis' vision of the department, i can see the department actually growing in the next ten years, of course after a major flux initially... this whole idea rings true in our church now... i'm in a focus group with james and zach, and we met with pastor ice today... basically, our pastoral staff now wants to completely target the college, and even if that stirs the waters among the church, so be it... even if that means we lose some of our initial financial backing, if God's really behind our endeavors and it's truly what He wants, then that small flux will result in a huge outpouring of blessing... that really comforted levi to hear...
basically, when it boils down to it, we just need people with a vision of change, a progressive view of positive growth everywhere: in the department, in the church, and in the college... there has been a slow decline everywhere here, in the department, at church... and it all is a result of the decline in the college, because everyone's so focused on finances... james and zach were really set on trying to improve the church service, but i'm sitting there, thinking that this needs to be a movement on a larger picture... the college needs to change... religion classes here are a joke... who frickin' cares that we need to take 18 credits of religion...? it no longer means anything to us... people also stop coming to the college for many reasons, leading back to the slow departing of quality teachers, as well as the unreasonable pricing, caused by the drop of enrollment, caused by the unreasonable pricing and lack of visible quality... a horrible cycle...
it hurts that so many of us have this passion for positive change, and it hasn't really happened... levi describes this hate-love relationship as a love for PUC, but a hate for what's happening... if only quality can be encouraged everywhere... that's the common factor that is lacking in a lot of these situations... it's so hard, b/c as passionate as we are, we can only get the ball rolling... unless people like us stay in the area, it's difficult to find others to carry on the legacy... if that means that i stray away from my dream of teaching in southern california, to stick around here and see this place grow, then it might come down to that... levi complimented me for the ability to sense emotion and analyze people, a quality that very few people have...
he also said that i'm the next generation narducci... the change, or vision that this place needs... and my big push is in a direction of quality... i could see myself having negative feelings aimed at me for the vision i hold though... my vision for PUC is quality... if that means we get rid of majors, specifically music majors, that can't cut it, then so be it... if they truly want to be a music major, they have to put in the necessary effort to improve themselves... people do not see the music department here as quality, b/c the majority of the department here sacrifices quality for numbers... who frickin' cares if we have 50 majors, if 45 of them leave this place with an improper image of what we truly can offer...? get rid of the 45, focus on the 5 good ones, and from those 5, people will see something positive, and people will come...
the sad thing is that a lot of the fixes are long terms processes... but people need to realize that the best things in life take time... the quick fixes in this college have not been successful... a singer doesn't learn how to sing properly from 30 minutes of intense note learning, but years of vocal training...
my dream is long term... graduate, teach in an SDA institution, where i can encourage and foster quality in band and/or choir, seeing them go to an SDA college and still continue in music, possibly going into music education... from that, eventually get a doctorate in theory and teach at an SDA college, encouraging future musicians to become quality teachers, as well as providing quality education in theory, education, and in relating to students...
doc told me today to continue working for the contract band teacher they found for next year, but ask for more... he told me to let them know that if they want me to continue working, doing a job i don't need to do for my personal growth, that they pay half my tuition... i laughed at the idea, thinking it was ridiculous, and that they would hate me for being so pushy, but he decided that he would do everything in his power to make it happen... that guy has done way too much for me here... he and mrs narducci decided to pass down her professional wood clarinet down to me, as well as their MIDI keyboard, a combination reaching about maybe $2000...? and now a tuition cut...? he said that it's b/c i'm the one person making the department look good right now, and they need to do something special for me... ::exhale::
i want good things for PUC... and i'm one person... but that's just it... one person makes a difference... the whole idea of "being the change i see in the world," or department, or school, or church... i need to share my vision, my ideas, with those that can do something about it... like pastor ice shared with us today, don't complain to people that can't do anything about it, to everyone BUT the important individuals... get the right people to believe in you, and that causes the greatest and most effective change... i probably need to access how much i really can do... there is a lot on my plate... and i've learned my limit from this quarter... we'll just have to see how things go...
okay... i think i'm done...
::steps off soapbox::
- - - - - - -
as for what's happened lately... i played several songs for church in the grove with jessica shine and nathan blue's band... played for gospel choir... amy and kristen came up for the jazz band concert, which was awesome... sadly, the last concert with narducci... so many people were saying congratulations like it was the end... doug came up to me, shook my hand, saying that "it's really been a pleasure playing with me, and that this experience has been such an important part of his life," etc... basically a good-bye speech... well, it is the end of jazz band at PUC, so i guess it was alright to say...
several recitals i experienced... krinstin and jessica's recital... krinstin's such an inspiration... for the first time, i'm really excited about practicing this summer for my recital next year... darrin did a wonderful job on the guitar, and young had an impressive, well planned and practiced senior project about korean percussion...
after krin's recital, tif-la and i went to go watch x men... me for the second time, with a more open mindset, and her for the first time... i have to say that i enjoyed it more, the second time over... the music still sucked though... anyways, it was a fun opportunity to hang out with my "ate," probably one of the very rare times it will happen...
finished cleaning up the band library... long term quarter project: complete... had a fun conversation with kari and daryn in the library as we finished cleaning up, although i can't really remember about what... i just remember laughing hysterically, which is rare of daryn, which is what made it memorable, haha...
conversation with josh and andy about music, as always... it digressed from that (and i can't really remember... which is why i probably should've wrote about it then!)...
my credit limit finally raising to $1300, which allowed me to treat myself to a TI Voyage 200... yes, it's a graphing calculator... ::waits for jabs about my nerdiness:: i got too frustrated spending over half an hour trying to figure out how to graph parametric equations on my calculator that i gave up... hey, as long as i get it before the final on wednesday... by the way, calculus III being my ONLY final this finals week... =D
torch passing ceremony for campus ministries... as ty graduates, ivie takes his place... angeli and i will have equal leadership next year... man, interactions next year will be a step up from this year... i can't wait...
everyone finally showing up, for the first time in probably four weeks, to education class today... this year's been awesome... probably the best group of friends, future teachers, in a class that i've really enjoyed... i'm gonna miss a lot of these people next year...
brandon, katie, me, brian, stacy, chris, anna, audrey, sarah, and lindsey...
PE, spanish, music, history, english, religion, religion/english, history, english, and english...
several more days up here... i can't believe this wonderful year, my best year of college, is coming to an end...