Coward.
Remember the guy who kept coming in to work... and seemed to be seeking me out. The one I though was showing an interest in me but I was feeling big headed just thinking it and was prolly so wrong... well he came in today. Sought me out and we nattered about the books we were still reading. He'd just started the Count of Monte Cristo (in french ><;;) and I'd just started Gormengast the last time he came in. And we'd both just had a break and read something less tough before going back to out babies. And he told me how he was going on holiday in 2 weeks for a few weeks. Cue more talk on what we were planning to read once we'd finally finished our latest books. The he came back to his hol plans and said - but before I go I was wondering I a. Do you have a boyfriend and b. Would you like to maybe go out for a few drinks when I come back?
Why me. huh?! He kinda caught me off guard coz there wasn't that much of a lead up. I kinda blinked, mouth open before he said - so do you have someone?
Errr yes... no... kind of...
Yes ¬¬ that was my exact response.
I said I was really sorry. He said that it was ok, that he'd keep coming in for our natters and if I changed my mind that he'd still be interested.
And of course stupid me mentioned it to pops on the way home and he said I was a coward. Which maybe I am. A confused coward even. Of course my explanation to my whole no... yes... didn't help coz I can't really explain to him the ins and outs of why I feel I am and yet am not taken. Grrr and I mean he's a really nice guy, interesting, good looking, intelligent and always smartly dressed in a sharp suit. So what’s with me... I don't know what I want any more. Was talking to Ross just yesterday about being sick of think about it all. heh he's sick of it too so I had a fun day with us bitching about relationships >< and Liz telling us we should just get it over with and marry each other. Hehe. Bless. Ross said we'd be well suited ;)
But still - why me. Dad started the - You really don't get how really nice and appealing you are. And how attractive you are. How can you not see it? - I hate his talk like that. I can feel my face turning bright red when he tells me I can look stunning when I take a real effort to make myself look good. I mean, I admit - sometimes I do think I look all right but nothing to write home about and yet over the past few months I had more people show interest in me than I have in years.
In other news - the Maupin event was a success. I opened the staffroom door for Gandalf *_* Ellie’s bummed coz she asked if he'd have a photo with her but he declined, though he did sign her lotr book. I didn't say anything. I mean - he came there to enjoy the even, not be bugged by me. But yes - good night. Shattered thought! Roy’s said he's going to write up a contract for me for a full time post. WOOT! Will come into effect in August. Ooh and I bought that Lamento's figure today at TM! He's so pretty! Such a bish! What with those cute kittie ears and tail! And big, he’s so big! My first proper figure! I now believe I must collect the other 3 in the series! Ooooohh and TM has started a loyalty card thing now woooot! Finally! This makes me way happy.
Anyway. I hope that guy comes back coz I do like our chats but I'm not sure. *sighs* Least I’ve got Ross to whine to on Saturday after work. I’m sure he’ll understand me and my screwy issues. I talked him about what happened when Becs was over and to my relief his first words were a complete mirror to what have been running through my head for days. Nice to know that I’m not along with my wanksting thoughts coz really I don’t think Suzu quite got it, when I tried to explain it to her. Oh well. *shrugs*
Why me. huh?! He kinda caught me off guard coz there wasn't that much of a lead up. I kinda blinked, mouth open before he said - so do you have someone?
Errr yes... no... kind of...
Yes ¬¬ that was my exact response.
I said I was really sorry. He said that it was ok, that he'd keep coming in for our natters and if I changed my mind that he'd still be interested.
And of course stupid me mentioned it to pops on the way home and he said I was a coward. Which maybe I am. A confused coward even. Of course my explanation to my whole no... yes... didn't help coz I can't really explain to him the ins and outs of why I feel I am and yet am not taken. Grrr and I mean he's a really nice guy, interesting, good looking, intelligent and always smartly dressed in a sharp suit. So what’s with me... I don't know what I want any more. Was talking to Ross just yesterday about being sick of think about it all. heh he's sick of it too so I had a fun day with us bitching about relationships >< and Liz telling us we should just get it over with and marry each other. Hehe. Bless. Ross said we'd be well suited ;)
But still - why me. Dad started the - You really don't get how really nice and appealing you are. And how attractive you are. How can you not see it? - I hate his talk like that. I can feel my face turning bright red when he tells me I can look stunning when I take a real effort to make myself look good. I mean, I admit - sometimes I do think I look all right but nothing to write home about and yet over the past few months I had more people show interest in me than I have in years.
In other news - the Maupin event was a success. I opened the staffroom door for Gandalf *_* Ellie’s bummed coz she asked if he'd have a photo with her but he declined, though he did sign her lotr book. I didn't say anything. I mean - he came there to enjoy the even, not be bugged by me. But yes - good night. Shattered thought! Roy’s said he's going to write up a contract for me for a full time post. WOOT! Will come into effect in August. Ooh and I bought that Lamento's figure today at TM! He's so pretty! Such a bish! What with those cute kittie ears and tail! And big, he’s so big! My first proper figure! I now believe I must collect the other 3 in the series! Ooooohh and TM has started a loyalty card thing now woooot! Finally! This makes me way happy.
Anyway. I hope that guy comes back coz I do like our chats but I'm not sure. *sighs* Least I’ve got Ross to whine to on Saturday after work. I’m sure he’ll understand me and my screwy issues. I talked him about what happened when Becs was over and to my relief his first words were a complete mirror to what have been running through my head for days. Nice to know that I’m not along with my wanksting thoughts coz really I don’t think Suzu quite got it, when I tried to explain it to her. Oh well. *shrugs*