Sacrifice (one shot)
Title: Sacrifice
Author: heiryzmylisza
Pairing: MassuTego / TegoMass
Rating: GP
Summary: Tegoshi doesn't know what sacrificing means until he met Massu
Disclaimer: My ownership over these lovely and talented boys, which are the cause of my rated fantasies lol., is still under negotiation. Johnny wants a 100 mil USD for each, and I told him I'll just go and kick his ass I'll go save up and buy SuShi from him.
Notes: beta-ed by the wonderful
shini_no_shisha, thank you so much for your hard work!!! ^_____________^
The smartest way to make people laugh is to tickle them and put a smile on their face
But the noblest way to make them happy is to be ready to be sad, just to make them happy.
--------------------
Sacrifice is a word Tegoshi Yuya would never understand. This word is usually associated with love, which is equally incomprehensible. He saw great people fall by sacrificing themselves for the one they loved. In his world, in his own understanding, it never really made much sense. If you have achieved something great, something marvelous, something grand, how could one let it go so easily? How could someone wholeheartedly give everything up just for a thing called love?
He grew up self-centered and no one could really blame him. He was a crowd’s favorite. They always gave him all the attention whether he wanted it or not. He grew up like this, with people fawning all over him and ready to give in to his every whim. He never really knew the harshness reality has to offer until his parents died 3 years ago.
They were volunteers that worked occasionally for the government. They’ve helped hundreds of families over their 10 years of service. A volcano erupted that year, leaving hundreds of people homeless and just like the numerous times before, they decided to help. When they left that day, telling him goodbye, his mother kissing his cheek like she usually did before leaving, Tegoshi never thought that it would be the last he would ever see of them. The world rocked below him as the news of another eruption wiped half of the village his parents were at. The rescuers never found their body.
It was his relatives that decided to sign him up for this, a help drive for homeless children that left Tegoshi cold to his very bones. He gritted his teeth as he saw the children laughing, the sound somehow irritating. He looked at them running. They were orphans just like him, except he was fortunate enough to have relatives who were willing to take him in.
“Hi!” Tegoshi turns to his right and sees a young man smiling widely at him. The smile unnerved him. It wasn’t humanely possible to smile as wide as that. He smiles weakly in return, wanting nothing more but for the day to pass by quickly and to get away from it all.
“Masuda Takahisa desu! Yoroshiku,” the man beside him introduces himself and extends his hand in front of him. Tegoshi eyes it warily and Masuda looks down at his hand and sees how dirty it is. “Ahh, gomen!” he apologizes as he wipes his hands on the back of his denim pants. Masuda grins at him, and extends his now cleaned hand once again.
Tegoshi decides to accept it despite his better judgment. “Tegoshi Yuya desu, yoroshiku,” he says and feels his hand being shaken rather enthusiastically. When Masuda finally let’s go, he feels the blood rush back in his hand. The man obviously doesn’t know his own strength.
“So, you’re new here?” Masuda asks as they start giving out food to the children. Tegoshi just nods as he hands another plate to another kid; the line looks like it will never end. “What made you decide to sign up for this?” he asks. Tegoshi doesn’t answer, doesn’t really want to, because is he does it will raise questions. New ones that will require another set of answers he dreads to answer again. Masuda notices his silence and decides that maybe he was poking in another person’s business too much. So he just smiles widely again and greets the children who are coming up to him.
At the end of the day, Tegoshi finds himself more emotionally stressed than physically. He successfully managed to duck out from some jobs but seeing these people happily helping out others pained him. He can’t see why they sacrifice their time to help out others. It was compassion they say, but to him, it was complete idiocy.
He manages to slip out without too much trouble and he happily walks toward the bus stop. When he gets home, he finds his relatives eagerly waiting for him, wanting to know everything that happened on that day. But, before they can ask anything, he locks himself in his room. They knew it was still hopeless. The young man obviously still doesn’t understand what his parents died for.
A few weeks passed and Tegoshi tells his aunt and uncle that he wants to move out. It is no a big surprise for the couple. Tegoshi is an adult now, no matter how scarred his heart and twisted his outlook on life is, they already knew that this time would come. Tegoshi wasn’t theirs to keep. He was someone God created with something unique, and he was meant to be shared with the world. He had to grow up and stand on his own now.
It isn’t a tearful goodbye. It’s more like a goodbye between two business partners. They had a great time working together, but it’s just not working anymore. And within minutes, Tegoshi finds himself alone, travelling to his new home where he hopes he can start all over again.
It’s a small apartment in a quiet neighborhood but he’s happy with it. He realizes that most people around here know each other and he has a gut feeling that rumors easily spread throughout town. Arranging his stuff is not a hard task since he didn’t take much of his stuff anyway, and the room was fully furnished when he decided to rent it.
He rests that night wondering what his life will be tomorrow. He wonders what will happen to him in this new place. He sighs and stares out the window. The stars are twinkling and he closes his eyes. He just wishes for a better tomorrow and he fall asleep right after that.
He wakes up with sunlight pouring in his room and the sound of busy people down in the street. He yawns and stretches out his muscles. He blinks his eyes for a few more minutes, adjusting his eyesight to the light in the room and sits up a minute later. He walks to the bathroom and takes a shower, relishing the feeling of hot water on his skin. It relaxes him and when he steps out, he feels like he could face anything that day.
After eating a hearty breakfast, he steps out of his apartment and gets ready to go meet his new boss. He is putting his keys in his jeans’ pocket when he bumps into someone.
“Ahhh!!! Gomen!” he says, quite shocked at the unfortunate event that happens to him first thing in the morning. “Iie, ki ni shinai,” the boy says. Tegoshi looks at him, about to ask if he is okay, and is greeted by a familiar face. “Ahhh!!! It’s you!!!” the guy said, the same wide smile appearing on his face.
Tegoshi can’t believe his luck, or lack of it. He can’t believe that he has to meet this person again. “Hi,” he says weakly. “I’m Masuda remember? We met at the charity drive a few weeks ago! I didn’t even get to say thanks for your nice job on that day, since you disappeared so quickly,” He says. “I guess you’re the one who moved in 305? The landlord mentioned that someone was moving in yesterday. I’m really surprised that it’s you! But don’t get me wrong okay? I’m happy to know it’s you and not some weird old dude or something,” he continues to ramble on. Well, the man doesn’t know his strength and is very talkative, Tegoshi noted.
“Ah, you live here too?” he asks not wanting to be rude by showing his lack of interest. “Yes, I live next door actually. I’m in room 304,” he answers, still grinning. ”Ahhh…” he says, trying to figure out what to say next. “So, I guess I’ll be seeing more of you ne? Excuse me, but I really have to get going now Tegoshi-kun. Take care ok?” Masuda says and leaves him with a smile on his face. Tegoshi barely has time to nod before Masuda disappears from his view.
The meeting with his new employer is not something that Tegoshi is looking forward to. He graduated at the top of his class in one of the most prestigious business school in the country so he’s confident about is own ability. It’s just that he doesn’t like interacting with new people. He hates the process of opening up to them.
His job starts at 8am and ends at 5pm, with 1 hour lunch break in between. He basically just has to do everything his boss tells him to do and to meet the deadlines. The building isn’t very big but the job pays handsomely. His employer tells him to be there the following morning and Tegoshi bows down and leaves.
The bright sunshine almost blinds him as he steps outside. The streets are busy and he decides to familiarize himself to the neighborhood. He takes mental notes of where restaurants are, the nearest drug stores, combinis and hospitals or clinics in case of emergency. The people are generally friendly, smiles pasted on their sun burned faces, and always offering their help. Tegoshi smiles in return, remembering that it isn’t wise to snob them because he’s new to the community. You’re new here Tegoshi he reminds himself. You said you wanted to start a new life right?
He is walking back home, late in the afternoon, when he spots a playground that is empty. He bites his lip as he resists the urge to go and sit on one of the swings; he knows he would look like an idiot if someone saw him. But he gives in with a sighs as he trudges towards the swing set, a small smile creeping up on his face. He sits down and as he starts to sway gently he hears the wind rustling the leaves on the trees. He touches gingerly the chains of the swing and remembers how he would always hold on to it tightly whenever his dad pushed him. His childish laughter echoes in his reverie and he starts to feel the wounds in his heart open up again. A cold wind suddenly blows against him and he clutches his brown jacket tighter against his body.
Then the swing starts to go a bit higher and Tegoshi looks behind him. A small figure was there and he could trace out the figure of a smile on the stranger’s face, the sunset making it hard for him to see the face clearly. “What are you doing here?” and Tegoshi knows who the stranger is. “Nothing really,” he says and faces in front of him again; Masuda doesn’t stop pushing him ever so gently.
“I like hanging out here,” Masuda says and Tegoshi can almost see his smile growing wider. “Do you like swings too Tegoshi-kun?” he asks and Tegoshi shrugs lightly. The swing suddenly stops and Masuda is now standing right in front of him, offering his hand. “It’s getting late now, we should probably go back,” Tegoshi closes his hand around Masuda’s and he is pulled up.
They walk side by side as the cold night’s wind blows on them, Tegoshi shivers. “Cold?” Masuda asks and Tegoshi shakes his head, no. But he feels the weight of a jacket on his shoulders anyway. He looks at Masuda confusedly. “You can have it,” he says. “I’m not that cold anyway.” Masuda grins at him and Tegoshi knows that this expression makes him feel warmer than any jacket in the world could offer. And then he starts to wonder. He starts to wonder why he feels this comfortable around this fellow. When they arrive in front of his apartment Tegoshi gives him back his jacket, as Masuda accepts it he smiles warmly at him and tells him goodnight, tells him that he hopes to see him again tomorrow morning. When he finally says sweet dreams, Tegoshi finally understands. He finally know why he feels so comfortable around him. Masuda was his angel that heaven sent down to guide and protect him.
He enters his room grinning, happy at his realization. He sleeps peacefully that night, knowing that his angel is just on the other side of the wall, ready to protect him from whatever nightmares that might come along the way.
Tomorrow finally arrives and he wakes up with a smile on his face. He dreamt of him. He dreamt of his angel. He gets up and gets ready for the day. It’s his first day at work, he doesn’t want to be late.
He sees Masuda getting out of his apartment, he smiles and greets him before finally walking up to him. Masuda looks like he didn’t get a wink of sleep and it worries Tegoshi. He asks Masuda about it but the young man simply shrugs at the question with a smile. Tegoshi doesn’t really remember what he had asked after seeing that expression on Masuda’s face.
Work isn’t tough and he looks forward to the end of the day when he will meet up with Masuda. He promised they will celebrate Tegoshi’s first day and it makes him truly happy. The hours can’t pass quickly enough and anxiety starts to build up. He almost darts off when office hours are finally over.
He knocks at Masuda’s door, short of breath from running, but smiling. Masuda opens the door and invites him in. He sees how neat the small room is and praises Masuda about it. Masuda beams at him and say it is a habit of his to keep his room clean and tidy.
They have miso soup for dinner that night, among other things, Masuda cooked everything himself. Tegoshi eats heartily, laughing at Masuda’s random and just plain awkward jokes. They watch a movie and Tegoshi can’t remember the last time he enjoyed himself like this. It’s getting deeper into the night and it’s finally the time to go home. Tegoshi reluctantly says goodbye and Masuda smiles at him and tells him he had a good time. Tegoshi smiles back,” We should do this more often ne?” Masuda make his heart flutter all over with his simple reply, “Anytime Tegoshi-kun.”
The following weeks are spent hanging out together. Sometimes, Masuda even drops by Tegoshi’s work place, during lunch hour breaks, so they can eat lunch together at a restaurant close by. It is really fun and Tegoshi feels like a child when he’s around Masuda. His smiles are always infectious and his positive demeanor never fails to amaze Tegoshi.
They’re hanging out at the playground again. Tegoshi’s sitting on the swing and Masuda’s gently pushing him. It’s nice to end a long day like this, just sitting on the swing, the autumn scent being carried around by the wind. Tegoshi closes his eyes and rests his head on the chain. After a few minutes, the swinging stops and Tegoshi opens his eyes slowly, revealing Masuda in front of him, crouched low so that he was on eye level with him, smiling as he brushes Tegoshi’s bangs away from his face.
“You look cute when you’re sleeping,” Masuda says making Tegoshi blush. “I… I wasn’t really sleeping… I was just… just…” he stammers, hating himself for looking like such an idiot in front of Masuda. Masuda’s grin widens and Tegoshi doesn’t realize what happens next, or how it happens, he just feels soft lips on his. He closes his eyes as he feels Masuda kiss him again and again, and Tegoshi pulls his face nearer as he starts to kiss back. He’s getting dizzy from lack of oxygen and moans at the loss of lips on his as he pulls back. Masuda presses their foreheads together, short of breath but nevertheless, smiling.
“I like you Tegoshi-kun,” he says as he thumbs Tegoshi’s smooth face, eyes peering into Tegoshi’s eyes and soul. “I like you too Masuda-kun,” Tegoshi says shyly, as his heart beats a thousand times faster as Masuda smiles just for him and leans forward to share one more sweet kiss.
Their relationship, as Tegoshi feels it, is blissfully happy and Tegoshi decides to move in with Masuda. Sometimes he just feels like it’s the most wonderful feeling to wake up next to the man he treasures the most and feel lips on his. Masuda will always smile and make him feel like he is the most loved person on Earth. He’d give him flowers and chocolates and now Tegoshi finally sees why people that fall in love would risk anything just for it.
Masuda also drags Tegoshi into his charity drives and little by little he starts to enjoy it too. He hears Masuda sing to the children and Tegoshi immediately knows that he it is the voice of an angel. Since then, Tegoshi makes Masuda sing for him as often as he possible.
One night, while looking out at the stars, Tegoshi smiles as he sees a bright star twinkle and sends out a silent prayer to his parents, thanking them for sending Masuda to him.
“Masuda-kun…” Tegoshi says one night while they are lying in their bed. “I told you, it’s Massu Tesshi. Call me Massu…” Massu says as he shifts closer to his lover’s body kissing the back of his shoulder. Tegoshi giggles and asks, “Why do you like helping people so much?” “Because, I feel so blessed so I want to share it with people less fortunate,” Massu answers and hugs Tegoshi tighter. “I felt so blessed when I first met you…” Tegoshi whispers and feels lips curving into a smile against his shoulder. “I love you…” Massu breathes out as they fall asleep with soft smiles on their faces.
Tegoshi wakes up one morning to find Massu leaning against the kitchen counter. He immediately rushed up to him and cups his face. “Baby, are you ok?” Massu nods while blinking. “Are you sure?” Tegoshi asks with concern. “I’m fine Tesshi… don’t worry about me,” he says while flashing a grin as he rubs his eyes. Tegoshi pouts; he’s still concerned about him but Massu just kisses his worry away. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me,” Massu says as he envelopes Tegoshi in an embrace, somehow hearing Massu’s heartbeat makes all his worries ebb away.
It’s Christmas morning and they decide to walk outside and enjoy the scenery. The town is beautifully blanketed with snow and Tegoshi shivers slightly from the cold. Massu sees this and carefully holds Tegoshi’s hand in his. “This might make you feel a little bit warmer,” he states. And Tegoshi gives him a kiss in appreciation.
They see the playground empty; Tegoshi sits on the swing and Massu automatically goes to the back to push him gently. “It’s so beautiful ne?” Tegoshi says and sees his breath in the cold air. “But not as beautiful as you,” Massu replies and Tegoshi giggles at how cheesy the line is. Suddenly, Massu lets out a shout of pain and Tegoshi sees him crouching low, his hands in front of his closed eyes. “Massu!” he says and crouches next to Massu. “What’s wrong Massu?” he asks with a panicked voice, Massu looks in a lot of pain and Tegoshi could cry just at the sight of it. “It hurts Tesshi… my eyes hurt…” Massu says, voice trembling. Tegoshi then sees a single drop of tear falling and it shatters his heart into million of pieces. “I’ll get you to the hospital now,” he chokes out as he helps Massu up and brings him to the nearest hospital.
Massu wakes up on a hospital bed with Tegoshi holding his right hand tightly. “Hey… you’re awake now…” Tegoshi murmurs. Massu nods and notices how blurry Tegoshi looks so he decided to rub his eyes. “Please don’t do that,” Tegoshi pleads loudly as he grabs Massu’s hands before it comes in contact with his eyes. “What’s wrong?” Massu asks, his vision clearing slightly. Tegoshi’s lips quiver as silent tears slide down. He quickly wipes them away and kisses Massu’s hand. “The doctor said you’re sick Massu. Something’s wrong with your eyes…” he says and starts to sobs. Massu’s smile falters at the sight of Tegoshi crying more than at the bad news he brought. “I’m going to be fine Tesshi… please stop crying now…” Massu says and hugs his lover who cries even harder. “I don’t want anything bad to happen to you,” Tegoshi manages to say between sobs. “Nothing bad will happen to me as long as you’re by my side Tesshi” Massu hopes his words can comfort the other as much as he wants them to comfort himself.
The doctor says Massu has glaucoma; a disease in which the transparent fluid inside the forward part of the eye does not drain normally and it causes an excess pressure to built up within the eye. The doctor informs them that the disease may lead, eventually, to total blindness, this news is devastating to Tegoshi. He can’t stop himself from crying, and he hates himself for being the weak one when he should be the one comforting Massu. But instead, it is the other way around; it’s Massu who is comforting him at the news.
“I’m so sorry for being weak like this Massu… I should be the one who’s comforting you,” Tegoshi hiccups. Massu just smiles at him and kisses him in an attempt to stop the tears and the hiccupping. “I’m just glad that you’re still here with me,” Mass says, sincerity seeping through his every word. Tegoshi hugs him tightly, burying his face in Massu’s neck. “I’ll always be here for you Massu…” he says and Massu kisses the top of his head.
Tegoshi becomes more protective. This makes Massu laugh and he tells Tegoshi that he doesn’t need to be treated like a baby but Tegoshi won’t hear it. In the end, Massu will simply comply, since secretly he enjoys Tegoshi fawning all over him.
It isn’t that bad until Massu’s vision starts to get really blurry. But Tegoshi is always by his side sometimes kissing his eyes to make the pain go away. They are happy like this, and Massu never feels like he is becoming a burden to his lover. But he never realizes that Tegoshi sometimes cries at night as he watches him sleep. He prays to all the Gods to make him feel better, to make all the pain go away because he doesn’t deserve to suffer this way. He’s an angel in this cruel world and angels shouldn’t suffer like this. Tegoshi always kiss both of his eyes with a silent wish to make it better for his beloved.
Tegoshi’s at work the day he receives a phone call telling him that Massu collapsed in their apartment building. Their landlord, fortunately, saw Massu when he collapsed and immediately brought him to the hospital. Tears are blinding Tegoshi as he rushes out of the office.
He sees Massu unconscious on the hospital bed, the doctor breaks the bad news to him. Massu has to undergo an operation if he still wants to see. But they need an eye donor, and the doctors are trying their best to find a compatible one. Tegoshi spends the night crying beside Massu’s bed as he watches him sleep. He brushes his bangs away the same way Massu always did, another tear falls and he’s mad at himself for not being able to do anything for the man he loves.
A week passes and Tegoshi grows restless as there is no news of a possible donor, everyday he goes to see Massu’s doctors in vain. Massu wakes up four days after and he’s not at all worried of what might become of him after Tegoshi tells him about the current situation. Tegoshi doesn’t understand why Massu can be so calm about it. Then Massu says to him with serious eyes, “If fate wants me to lose my sight of tomorrow’s sunrise that brings hope in our lonely hearts, I don’t really care because the sound of your laughter does just that and so much more Tesshi.”
Tears rushes down Tegoshi’s eyes when he hears this. He buries himself in Massu’s arms and cries until he soakes Massu’s hospital gown with his tears. Massu doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment. He doesn’t and Tegoshi will stop at nothing to give him back his sight which is slowly deteriorating into nothingness.
Three days after, the doctor comes in and tells the couple that a donor was found the operation will take place the day after tomorrow. Massu grins, happy and thankful at the good news and holds Tegoshi’s hand tightly. “I’ll be able to see again Tesshi, isn’t this great?” Tegoshi mutters a small yes, a small sad smile slowly forming on his face.
The day of the operation, Tegoshi gives Massu a kiss on the lips and on their intertwined hands. “I’ll always be here for you Massu…” he whispers against Massu’s ear before the nurses push his bed inside the operating room. The operation doesn’t last long and it is a success. They just have to wait and seem in a week the results of the operation will be known.
Massu’s parents are there the whole week to take care of Massu. He wakes up a day after the operation and he badly wants to hear Tegoshi’s voice but he is disappointed not to hear it. He is happy though, that his parents are there to support him, but it’s different without Tegoshi around. Day after day, he’ll ask where Tegoshi might be, and the answer is always the same. He’s at work, he missed a lot of days so he has to work overtime.
It’s finally the day when the bandages will be removed from Massu’s eyes. It’s the revelation day, when they will know if the operation was truly successful or not, when they will know if all the efforts were in vain or not. Massu asks where Tegoshi is but the answer doesn’t change. He’s at the office and Massu doubts it, he wants to argue, tell how worried he is on his lover’s whereabouts but the doctor comes in at that precise moment. He breathes out the breath he was holding in as he hears the doctor tell him to relax and in a few minutes the bandages will be gone.
It is painstakingly hard to remain still as he feels the bandages slowly being removed. He takes short gasps for air, nervous of what could happen after the doctor finish taking it off. Will he be able to see again? Will he be able to see Tegoshi’s smile again? Finally, light comes through as the bandages start to thin around his eye area. He feels the bandages finally come off and he’s afraid to open his eyes. He feels his hands shake and he suddenly feels warm hands take a hold of his, slowly he opens his eyes to see the world.
He feels like he is born again. He is filled with happiness, no words could ever convey this feeling. His parents are there beside him, smiling at him, though his mom is also crying of joy. His sister’s crying too and hiccupping, their father trying his best to placate both women. He smiles back at them and looks to his right, wanting to see Tegoshi. The warm hand though belongs to the doctor and his smile slips a little as he mutters a small thanks to the doctor. The doctor leaves them after a few minutes and his family starts to fawn all over him.
“Where’s Tegoshi?” he asked. He misses him. He wants to see him. He needs to see him desperately.
He sees his mother’s face fall at the simple question. His sister is also avoiding his eyes. He turns to face his father and he repeats the same question, with force this time. Something’s definitely wrong and he wants to know.
“I think you should read this first son, before we tell you where he is,” His father tells him seriously and hands him a white envelope.
It was addressed to him in Tegoshi’s loopy handwriting. He rips the envelope open and unfolds a clean sheet; he sees more of Tegoshi’s loopy handwriting splattered across the page as he reads it.
To Massu,
I’m sure by the time you’re reading this; it will be a week since you’ve last heard of me. I’m also sure the operation’s a success otherwise you wouldn’t be able to read this. I just want one thing to be clear Massu. I love you. And that’s the reason why I did this for you. You mean more than anything in this world to me. You’re more than just my lover. You’re my friend, my angel, my protector. You ARE my life Massu. And I’d die if they took you away from me.
I gave you my eyes for you to see, for you to enjoy more things that this sometimes cruel and cold world could offer. I don’t deserve my eyes Massu. Because all I can see are the faults and pain this world has to offer. but you Massu, you see everything that is beautiful.
You see beauty in our everyday lives. You see beauty in everybody’s eyes and smiles. But most of all, you saw the beauty in me that you took out and changed me. I owe you everything Massu. And this is all I can really do in order to repay you.
The world doesn’t need a person like me. It wouldn’t make much of a difference if I became blind. You on the other hand will tip the balance if you became blind. Your eyes let you see things that truly make you happy and smile. And if your smile fades away when you can’t see anymore, it’ll be the end of me and also of the people who depend on your smile to give them courage. That’s how much you mean to us Massu. And I humbly give you my eyes with no regrets just so you to see and smile for us once more.
I may not be able to see that wonderful smile that I love so much, but the memories will be enough. Those smiles that kept me warm more than any fire in this world, I truly will miss them so much. But hearing your voice will be enough for me Massu.
I love you Massu… I’ll always love you…
If becoming blind is a small price to pay just to make you happy, I don’t mind becoming one at all.
Your Tesshi…
“Where is he?” Massu asks, tears rushing down his pale and slightly thinned face. “I want to see him!” he shouted out and he sees his mother crying alongside him. “He’s in the next room. He said he couldn’t bear to be to far away from you,” his father answers him. And before they could even stop him, he rushed out of his room toward Tegoshi’s.
He sees the doctor and the nurses file out from the room, the doctor simply gives him a grim smile before letting him pass. It is a strange sight to see Tegoshi lying down on the bed, softly breathing like he was actually in peace. And he bites back the choked off cry that threaten to escape.
“Massu?” Tegoshi asks and looks at the direction of a sudden noise. Massu can’t hold it back anymore and he cries, holding Tegoshi tightly before muttering ‘baka’ over and over. “I’m going to be okay Massu, I have you beside me. You’re my guardian angel, I have nothing to fear,” Tegoshi whispers. “You didn’t have to do this!” Massu argues, he feels Tegoshi stroking his hair.
“I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. Because of you, I now know what it is like to love, to feel loved. Because of you I know what the word sacrifice means and why my parents did what they did, even though it cost them their life. Because of you, I became a person who knows how to love and to sacrifice everything for the one they love. I came to understand a lot of things because of you Massu, and I’m really grateful to have you in my life. I’d give you my life if you wanted me to,” Tegoshi answers and kisses Massu’s lips, somehow knowing exactly where they were. Massu moans and kisses Tegoshi back.
“I’ll always protect you. I’m always going to be here for you…” Massu whispers, eyes closed, foreheads touching, lips inches apart, their hands intertwined in a silent vow to never let go of each other. “And I don’t want you to give me your life because if you did that, I’d give it up too just to be with you,” Massu added, lips seeking out Tegoshi’s once again. Their kiss holds many promises that Tegoshi looks forward to, in this life guided only by Massu’s angelic voice and laughter.
“You’re my happiness Massu, I’d sacrifice anything for you…”
-------------*******------------
A/N: it became longer than i expected but i hope you guys enjoyed it...
hihihi... dedicated to all my lj friends who likes some angst?
is this even angsty? i dunno... ahahaha...
i didn't kill tesshi this time, i just made him blind.
i'm so cruel to him. ahahaha!!! i like to make him suffer in my fics...
so yeah, hehe...
comments are totally loved!
just no flaming please!!!
yoroshiku onegaishimasu!!! ^______________^
Author: heiryzmylisza
Pairing: MassuTego / TegoMass
Rating: GP
Summary: Tegoshi doesn't know what sacrificing means until he met Massu
Disclaimer: My ownership over these lovely and talented boys, which are the cause of my rated fantasies lol., is still under negotiation. Johnny wants a 100 mil USD for each, and I told him I'll just go and kick his ass I'll go save up and buy SuShi from him.
Notes: beta-ed by the wonderful
shini_no_shisha, thank you so much for your hard work!!! ^_____________^
The smartest way to make people laugh is to tickle them and put a smile on their face
But the noblest way to make them happy is to be ready to be sad, just to make them happy.
--------------------
Sacrifice is a word Tegoshi Yuya would never understand. This word is usually associated with love, which is equally incomprehensible. He saw great people fall by sacrificing themselves for the one they loved. In his world, in his own understanding, it never really made much sense. If you have achieved something great, something marvelous, something grand, how could one let it go so easily? How could someone wholeheartedly give everything up just for a thing called love?
He grew up self-centered and no one could really blame him. He was a crowd’s favorite. They always gave him all the attention whether he wanted it or not. He grew up like this, with people fawning all over him and ready to give in to his every whim. He never really knew the harshness reality has to offer until his parents died 3 years ago.
They were volunteers that worked occasionally for the government. They’ve helped hundreds of families over their 10 years of service. A volcano erupted that year, leaving hundreds of people homeless and just like the numerous times before, they decided to help. When they left that day, telling him goodbye, his mother kissing his cheek like she usually did before leaving, Tegoshi never thought that it would be the last he would ever see of them. The world rocked below him as the news of another eruption wiped half of the village his parents were at. The rescuers never found their body.
It was his relatives that decided to sign him up for this, a help drive for homeless children that left Tegoshi cold to his very bones. He gritted his teeth as he saw the children laughing, the sound somehow irritating. He looked at them running. They were orphans just like him, except he was fortunate enough to have relatives who were willing to take him in.
“Hi!” Tegoshi turns to his right and sees a young man smiling widely at him. The smile unnerved him. It wasn’t humanely possible to smile as wide as that. He smiles weakly in return, wanting nothing more but for the day to pass by quickly and to get away from it all.
“Masuda Takahisa desu! Yoroshiku,” the man beside him introduces himself and extends his hand in front of him. Tegoshi eyes it warily and Masuda looks down at his hand and sees how dirty it is. “Ahh, gomen!” he apologizes as he wipes his hands on the back of his denim pants. Masuda grins at him, and extends his now cleaned hand once again.
Tegoshi decides to accept it despite his better judgment. “Tegoshi Yuya desu, yoroshiku,” he says and feels his hand being shaken rather enthusiastically. When Masuda finally let’s go, he feels the blood rush back in his hand. The man obviously doesn’t know his own strength.
“So, you’re new here?” Masuda asks as they start giving out food to the children. Tegoshi just nods as he hands another plate to another kid; the line looks like it will never end. “What made you decide to sign up for this?” he asks. Tegoshi doesn’t answer, doesn’t really want to, because is he does it will raise questions. New ones that will require another set of answers he dreads to answer again. Masuda notices his silence and decides that maybe he was poking in another person’s business too much. So he just smiles widely again and greets the children who are coming up to him.
At the end of the day, Tegoshi finds himself more emotionally stressed than physically. He successfully managed to duck out from some jobs but seeing these people happily helping out others pained him. He can’t see why they sacrifice their time to help out others. It was compassion they say, but to him, it was complete idiocy.
He manages to slip out without too much trouble and he happily walks toward the bus stop. When he gets home, he finds his relatives eagerly waiting for him, wanting to know everything that happened on that day. But, before they can ask anything, he locks himself in his room. They knew it was still hopeless. The young man obviously still doesn’t understand what his parents died for.
A few weeks passed and Tegoshi tells his aunt and uncle that he wants to move out. It is no a big surprise for the couple. Tegoshi is an adult now, no matter how scarred his heart and twisted his outlook on life is, they already knew that this time would come. Tegoshi wasn’t theirs to keep. He was someone God created with something unique, and he was meant to be shared with the world. He had to grow up and stand on his own now.
It isn’t a tearful goodbye. It’s more like a goodbye between two business partners. They had a great time working together, but it’s just not working anymore. And within minutes, Tegoshi finds himself alone, travelling to his new home where he hopes he can start all over again.
It’s a small apartment in a quiet neighborhood but he’s happy with it. He realizes that most people around here know each other and he has a gut feeling that rumors easily spread throughout town. Arranging his stuff is not a hard task since he didn’t take much of his stuff anyway, and the room was fully furnished when he decided to rent it.
He rests that night wondering what his life will be tomorrow. He wonders what will happen to him in this new place. He sighs and stares out the window. The stars are twinkling and he closes his eyes. He just wishes for a better tomorrow and he fall asleep right after that.
He wakes up with sunlight pouring in his room and the sound of busy people down in the street. He yawns and stretches out his muscles. He blinks his eyes for a few more minutes, adjusting his eyesight to the light in the room and sits up a minute later. He walks to the bathroom and takes a shower, relishing the feeling of hot water on his skin. It relaxes him and when he steps out, he feels like he could face anything that day.
After eating a hearty breakfast, he steps out of his apartment and gets ready to go meet his new boss. He is putting his keys in his jeans’ pocket when he bumps into someone.
“Ahhh!!! Gomen!” he says, quite shocked at the unfortunate event that happens to him first thing in the morning. “Iie, ki ni shinai,” the boy says. Tegoshi looks at him, about to ask if he is okay, and is greeted by a familiar face. “Ahhh!!! It’s you!!!” the guy said, the same wide smile appearing on his face.
Tegoshi can’t believe his luck, or lack of it. He can’t believe that he has to meet this person again. “Hi,” he says weakly. “I’m Masuda remember? We met at the charity drive a few weeks ago! I didn’t even get to say thanks for your nice job on that day, since you disappeared so quickly,” He says. “I guess you’re the one who moved in 305? The landlord mentioned that someone was moving in yesterday. I’m really surprised that it’s you! But don’t get me wrong okay? I’m happy to know it’s you and not some weird old dude or something,” he continues to ramble on. Well, the man doesn’t know his strength and is very talkative, Tegoshi noted.
“Ah, you live here too?” he asks not wanting to be rude by showing his lack of interest. “Yes, I live next door actually. I’m in room 304,” he answers, still grinning. ”Ahhh…” he says, trying to figure out what to say next. “So, I guess I’ll be seeing more of you ne? Excuse me, but I really have to get going now Tegoshi-kun. Take care ok?” Masuda says and leaves him with a smile on his face. Tegoshi barely has time to nod before Masuda disappears from his view.
The meeting with his new employer is not something that Tegoshi is looking forward to. He graduated at the top of his class in one of the most prestigious business school in the country so he’s confident about is own ability. It’s just that he doesn’t like interacting with new people. He hates the process of opening up to them.
His job starts at 8am and ends at 5pm, with 1 hour lunch break in between. He basically just has to do everything his boss tells him to do and to meet the deadlines. The building isn’t very big but the job pays handsomely. His employer tells him to be there the following morning and Tegoshi bows down and leaves.
The bright sunshine almost blinds him as he steps outside. The streets are busy and he decides to familiarize himself to the neighborhood. He takes mental notes of where restaurants are, the nearest drug stores, combinis and hospitals or clinics in case of emergency. The people are generally friendly, smiles pasted on their sun burned faces, and always offering their help. Tegoshi smiles in return, remembering that it isn’t wise to snob them because he’s new to the community. You’re new here Tegoshi he reminds himself. You said you wanted to start a new life right?
He is walking back home, late in the afternoon, when he spots a playground that is empty. He bites his lip as he resists the urge to go and sit on one of the swings; he knows he would look like an idiot if someone saw him. But he gives in with a sighs as he trudges towards the swing set, a small smile creeping up on his face. He sits down and as he starts to sway gently he hears the wind rustling the leaves on the trees. He touches gingerly the chains of the swing and remembers how he would always hold on to it tightly whenever his dad pushed him. His childish laughter echoes in his reverie and he starts to feel the wounds in his heart open up again. A cold wind suddenly blows against him and he clutches his brown jacket tighter against his body.
Then the swing starts to go a bit higher and Tegoshi looks behind him. A small figure was there and he could trace out the figure of a smile on the stranger’s face, the sunset making it hard for him to see the face clearly. “What are you doing here?” and Tegoshi knows who the stranger is. “Nothing really,” he says and faces in front of him again; Masuda doesn’t stop pushing him ever so gently.
“I like hanging out here,” Masuda says and Tegoshi can almost see his smile growing wider. “Do you like swings too Tegoshi-kun?” he asks and Tegoshi shrugs lightly. The swing suddenly stops and Masuda is now standing right in front of him, offering his hand. “It’s getting late now, we should probably go back,” Tegoshi closes his hand around Masuda’s and he is pulled up.
They walk side by side as the cold night’s wind blows on them, Tegoshi shivers. “Cold?” Masuda asks and Tegoshi shakes his head, no. But he feels the weight of a jacket on his shoulders anyway. He looks at Masuda confusedly. “You can have it,” he says. “I’m not that cold anyway.” Masuda grins at him and Tegoshi knows that this expression makes him feel warmer than any jacket in the world could offer. And then he starts to wonder. He starts to wonder why he feels this comfortable around this fellow. When they arrive in front of his apartment Tegoshi gives him back his jacket, as Masuda accepts it he smiles warmly at him and tells him goodnight, tells him that he hopes to see him again tomorrow morning. When he finally says sweet dreams, Tegoshi finally understands. He finally know why he feels so comfortable around him. Masuda was his angel that heaven sent down to guide and protect him.
He enters his room grinning, happy at his realization. He sleeps peacefully that night, knowing that his angel is just on the other side of the wall, ready to protect him from whatever nightmares that might come along the way.
Tomorrow finally arrives and he wakes up with a smile on his face. He dreamt of him. He dreamt of his angel. He gets up and gets ready for the day. It’s his first day at work, he doesn’t want to be late.
He sees Masuda getting out of his apartment, he smiles and greets him before finally walking up to him. Masuda looks like he didn’t get a wink of sleep and it worries Tegoshi. He asks Masuda about it but the young man simply shrugs at the question with a smile. Tegoshi doesn’t really remember what he had asked after seeing that expression on Masuda’s face.
Work isn’t tough and he looks forward to the end of the day when he will meet up with Masuda. He promised they will celebrate Tegoshi’s first day and it makes him truly happy. The hours can’t pass quickly enough and anxiety starts to build up. He almost darts off when office hours are finally over.
He knocks at Masuda’s door, short of breath from running, but smiling. Masuda opens the door and invites him in. He sees how neat the small room is and praises Masuda about it. Masuda beams at him and say it is a habit of his to keep his room clean and tidy.
They have miso soup for dinner that night, among other things, Masuda cooked everything himself. Tegoshi eats heartily, laughing at Masuda’s random and just plain awkward jokes. They watch a movie and Tegoshi can’t remember the last time he enjoyed himself like this. It’s getting deeper into the night and it’s finally the time to go home. Tegoshi reluctantly says goodbye and Masuda smiles at him and tells him he had a good time. Tegoshi smiles back,” We should do this more often ne?” Masuda make his heart flutter all over with his simple reply, “Anytime Tegoshi-kun.”
The following weeks are spent hanging out together. Sometimes, Masuda even drops by Tegoshi’s work place, during lunch hour breaks, so they can eat lunch together at a restaurant close by. It is really fun and Tegoshi feels like a child when he’s around Masuda. His smiles are always infectious and his positive demeanor never fails to amaze Tegoshi.
They’re hanging out at the playground again. Tegoshi’s sitting on the swing and Masuda’s gently pushing him. It’s nice to end a long day like this, just sitting on the swing, the autumn scent being carried around by the wind. Tegoshi closes his eyes and rests his head on the chain. After a few minutes, the swinging stops and Tegoshi opens his eyes slowly, revealing Masuda in front of him, crouched low so that he was on eye level with him, smiling as he brushes Tegoshi’s bangs away from his face.
“You look cute when you’re sleeping,” Masuda says making Tegoshi blush. “I… I wasn’t really sleeping… I was just… just…” he stammers, hating himself for looking like such an idiot in front of Masuda. Masuda’s grin widens and Tegoshi doesn’t realize what happens next, or how it happens, he just feels soft lips on his. He closes his eyes as he feels Masuda kiss him again and again, and Tegoshi pulls his face nearer as he starts to kiss back. He’s getting dizzy from lack of oxygen and moans at the loss of lips on his as he pulls back. Masuda presses their foreheads together, short of breath but nevertheless, smiling.
“I like you Tegoshi-kun,” he says as he thumbs Tegoshi’s smooth face, eyes peering into Tegoshi’s eyes and soul. “I like you too Masuda-kun,” Tegoshi says shyly, as his heart beats a thousand times faster as Masuda smiles just for him and leans forward to share one more sweet kiss.
Their relationship, as Tegoshi feels it, is blissfully happy and Tegoshi decides to move in with Masuda. Sometimes he just feels like it’s the most wonderful feeling to wake up next to the man he treasures the most and feel lips on his. Masuda will always smile and make him feel like he is the most loved person on Earth. He’d give him flowers and chocolates and now Tegoshi finally sees why people that fall in love would risk anything just for it.
Masuda also drags Tegoshi into his charity drives and little by little he starts to enjoy it too. He hears Masuda sing to the children and Tegoshi immediately knows that he it is the voice of an angel. Since then, Tegoshi makes Masuda sing for him as often as he possible.
One night, while looking out at the stars, Tegoshi smiles as he sees a bright star twinkle and sends out a silent prayer to his parents, thanking them for sending Masuda to him.
“Masuda-kun…” Tegoshi says one night while they are lying in their bed. “I told you, it’s Massu Tesshi. Call me Massu…” Massu says as he shifts closer to his lover’s body kissing the back of his shoulder. Tegoshi giggles and asks, “Why do you like helping people so much?” “Because, I feel so blessed so I want to share it with people less fortunate,” Massu answers and hugs Tegoshi tighter. “I felt so blessed when I first met you…” Tegoshi whispers and feels lips curving into a smile against his shoulder. “I love you…” Massu breathes out as they fall asleep with soft smiles on their faces.
Tegoshi wakes up one morning to find Massu leaning against the kitchen counter. He immediately rushed up to him and cups his face. “Baby, are you ok?” Massu nods while blinking. “Are you sure?” Tegoshi asks with concern. “I’m fine Tesshi… don’t worry about me,” he says while flashing a grin as he rubs his eyes. Tegoshi pouts; he’s still concerned about him but Massu just kisses his worry away. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me,” Massu says as he envelopes Tegoshi in an embrace, somehow hearing Massu’s heartbeat makes all his worries ebb away.
It’s Christmas morning and they decide to walk outside and enjoy the scenery. The town is beautifully blanketed with snow and Tegoshi shivers slightly from the cold. Massu sees this and carefully holds Tegoshi’s hand in his. “This might make you feel a little bit warmer,” he states. And Tegoshi gives him a kiss in appreciation.
They see the playground empty; Tegoshi sits on the swing and Massu automatically goes to the back to push him gently. “It’s so beautiful ne?” Tegoshi says and sees his breath in the cold air. “But not as beautiful as you,” Massu replies and Tegoshi giggles at how cheesy the line is. Suddenly, Massu lets out a shout of pain and Tegoshi sees him crouching low, his hands in front of his closed eyes. “Massu!” he says and crouches next to Massu. “What’s wrong Massu?” he asks with a panicked voice, Massu looks in a lot of pain and Tegoshi could cry just at the sight of it. “It hurts Tesshi… my eyes hurt…” Massu says, voice trembling. Tegoshi then sees a single drop of tear falling and it shatters his heart into million of pieces. “I’ll get you to the hospital now,” he chokes out as he helps Massu up and brings him to the nearest hospital.
Massu wakes up on a hospital bed with Tegoshi holding his right hand tightly. “Hey… you’re awake now…” Tegoshi murmurs. Massu nods and notices how blurry Tegoshi looks so he decided to rub his eyes. “Please don’t do that,” Tegoshi pleads loudly as he grabs Massu’s hands before it comes in contact with his eyes. “What’s wrong?” Massu asks, his vision clearing slightly. Tegoshi’s lips quiver as silent tears slide down. He quickly wipes them away and kisses Massu’s hand. “The doctor said you’re sick Massu. Something’s wrong with your eyes…” he says and starts to sobs. Massu’s smile falters at the sight of Tegoshi crying more than at the bad news he brought. “I’m going to be fine Tesshi… please stop crying now…” Massu says and hugs his lover who cries even harder. “I don’t want anything bad to happen to you,” Tegoshi manages to say between sobs. “Nothing bad will happen to me as long as you’re by my side Tesshi” Massu hopes his words can comfort the other as much as he wants them to comfort himself.
The doctor says Massu has glaucoma; a disease in which the transparent fluid inside the forward part of the eye does not drain normally and it causes an excess pressure to built up within the eye. The doctor informs them that the disease may lead, eventually, to total blindness, this news is devastating to Tegoshi. He can’t stop himself from crying, and he hates himself for being the weak one when he should be the one comforting Massu. But instead, it is the other way around; it’s Massu who is comforting him at the news.
“I’m so sorry for being weak like this Massu… I should be the one who’s comforting you,” Tegoshi hiccups. Massu just smiles at him and kisses him in an attempt to stop the tears and the hiccupping. “I’m just glad that you’re still here with me,” Mass says, sincerity seeping through his every word. Tegoshi hugs him tightly, burying his face in Massu’s neck. “I’ll always be here for you Massu…” he says and Massu kisses the top of his head.
Tegoshi becomes more protective. This makes Massu laugh and he tells Tegoshi that he doesn’t need to be treated like a baby but Tegoshi won’t hear it. In the end, Massu will simply comply, since secretly he enjoys Tegoshi fawning all over him.
It isn’t that bad until Massu’s vision starts to get really blurry. But Tegoshi is always by his side sometimes kissing his eyes to make the pain go away. They are happy like this, and Massu never feels like he is becoming a burden to his lover. But he never realizes that Tegoshi sometimes cries at night as he watches him sleep. He prays to all the Gods to make him feel better, to make all the pain go away because he doesn’t deserve to suffer this way. He’s an angel in this cruel world and angels shouldn’t suffer like this. Tegoshi always kiss both of his eyes with a silent wish to make it better for his beloved.
Tegoshi’s at work the day he receives a phone call telling him that Massu collapsed in their apartment building. Their landlord, fortunately, saw Massu when he collapsed and immediately brought him to the hospital. Tears are blinding Tegoshi as he rushes out of the office.
He sees Massu unconscious on the hospital bed, the doctor breaks the bad news to him. Massu has to undergo an operation if he still wants to see. But they need an eye donor, and the doctors are trying their best to find a compatible one. Tegoshi spends the night crying beside Massu’s bed as he watches him sleep. He brushes his bangs away the same way Massu always did, another tear falls and he’s mad at himself for not being able to do anything for the man he loves.
A week passes and Tegoshi grows restless as there is no news of a possible donor, everyday he goes to see Massu’s doctors in vain. Massu wakes up four days after and he’s not at all worried of what might become of him after Tegoshi tells him about the current situation. Tegoshi doesn’t understand why Massu can be so calm about it. Then Massu says to him with serious eyes, “If fate wants me to lose my sight of tomorrow’s sunrise that brings hope in our lonely hearts, I don’t really care because the sound of your laughter does just that and so much more Tesshi.”
Tears rushes down Tegoshi’s eyes when he hears this. He buries himself in Massu’s arms and cries until he soakes Massu’s hospital gown with his tears. Massu doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment. He doesn’t and Tegoshi will stop at nothing to give him back his sight which is slowly deteriorating into nothingness.
Three days after, the doctor comes in and tells the couple that a donor was found the operation will take place the day after tomorrow. Massu grins, happy and thankful at the good news and holds Tegoshi’s hand tightly. “I’ll be able to see again Tesshi, isn’t this great?” Tegoshi mutters a small yes, a small sad smile slowly forming on his face.
The day of the operation, Tegoshi gives Massu a kiss on the lips and on their intertwined hands. “I’ll always be here for you Massu…” he whispers against Massu’s ear before the nurses push his bed inside the operating room. The operation doesn’t last long and it is a success. They just have to wait and seem in a week the results of the operation will be known.
Massu’s parents are there the whole week to take care of Massu. He wakes up a day after the operation and he badly wants to hear Tegoshi’s voice but he is disappointed not to hear it. He is happy though, that his parents are there to support him, but it’s different without Tegoshi around. Day after day, he’ll ask where Tegoshi might be, and the answer is always the same. He’s at work, he missed a lot of days so he has to work overtime.
It’s finally the day when the bandages will be removed from Massu’s eyes. It’s the revelation day, when they will know if the operation was truly successful or not, when they will know if all the efforts were in vain or not. Massu asks where Tegoshi is but the answer doesn’t change. He’s at the office and Massu doubts it, he wants to argue, tell how worried he is on his lover’s whereabouts but the doctor comes in at that precise moment. He breathes out the breath he was holding in as he hears the doctor tell him to relax and in a few minutes the bandages will be gone.
It is painstakingly hard to remain still as he feels the bandages slowly being removed. He takes short gasps for air, nervous of what could happen after the doctor finish taking it off. Will he be able to see again? Will he be able to see Tegoshi’s smile again? Finally, light comes through as the bandages start to thin around his eye area. He feels the bandages finally come off and he’s afraid to open his eyes. He feels his hands shake and he suddenly feels warm hands take a hold of his, slowly he opens his eyes to see the world.
He feels like he is born again. He is filled with happiness, no words could ever convey this feeling. His parents are there beside him, smiling at him, though his mom is also crying of joy. His sister’s crying too and hiccupping, their father trying his best to placate both women. He smiles back at them and looks to his right, wanting to see Tegoshi. The warm hand though belongs to the doctor and his smile slips a little as he mutters a small thanks to the doctor. The doctor leaves them after a few minutes and his family starts to fawn all over him.
“Where’s Tegoshi?” he asked. He misses him. He wants to see him. He needs to see him desperately.
He sees his mother’s face fall at the simple question. His sister is also avoiding his eyes. He turns to face his father and he repeats the same question, with force this time. Something’s definitely wrong and he wants to know.
“I think you should read this first son, before we tell you where he is,” His father tells him seriously and hands him a white envelope.
It was addressed to him in Tegoshi’s loopy handwriting. He rips the envelope open and unfolds a clean sheet; he sees more of Tegoshi’s loopy handwriting splattered across the page as he reads it.
To Massu,
I’m sure by the time you’re reading this; it will be a week since you’ve last heard of me. I’m also sure the operation’s a success otherwise you wouldn’t be able to read this. I just want one thing to be clear Massu. I love you. And that’s the reason why I did this for you. You mean more than anything in this world to me. You’re more than just my lover. You’re my friend, my angel, my protector. You ARE my life Massu. And I’d die if they took you away from me.
I gave you my eyes for you to see, for you to enjoy more things that this sometimes cruel and cold world could offer. I don’t deserve my eyes Massu. Because all I can see are the faults and pain this world has to offer. but you Massu, you see everything that is beautiful.
You see beauty in our everyday lives. You see beauty in everybody’s eyes and smiles. But most of all, you saw the beauty in me that you took out and changed me. I owe you everything Massu. And this is all I can really do in order to repay you.
The world doesn’t need a person like me. It wouldn’t make much of a difference if I became blind. You on the other hand will tip the balance if you became blind. Your eyes let you see things that truly make you happy and smile. And if your smile fades away when you can’t see anymore, it’ll be the end of me and also of the people who depend on your smile to give them courage. That’s how much you mean to us Massu. And I humbly give you my eyes with no regrets just so you to see and smile for us once more.
I may not be able to see that wonderful smile that I love so much, but the memories will be enough. Those smiles that kept me warm more than any fire in this world, I truly will miss them so much. But hearing your voice will be enough for me Massu.
I love you Massu… I’ll always love you…
If becoming blind is a small price to pay just to make you happy, I don’t mind becoming one at all.
Your Tesshi…
“Where is he?” Massu asks, tears rushing down his pale and slightly thinned face. “I want to see him!” he shouted out and he sees his mother crying alongside him. “He’s in the next room. He said he couldn’t bear to be to far away from you,” his father answers him. And before they could even stop him, he rushed out of his room toward Tegoshi’s.
He sees the doctor and the nurses file out from the room, the doctor simply gives him a grim smile before letting him pass. It is a strange sight to see Tegoshi lying down on the bed, softly breathing like he was actually in peace. And he bites back the choked off cry that threaten to escape.
“Massu?” Tegoshi asks and looks at the direction of a sudden noise. Massu can’t hold it back anymore and he cries, holding Tegoshi tightly before muttering ‘baka’ over and over. “I’m going to be okay Massu, I have you beside me. You’re my guardian angel, I have nothing to fear,” Tegoshi whispers. “You didn’t have to do this!” Massu argues, he feels Tegoshi stroking his hair.
“I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. Because of you, I now know what it is like to love, to feel loved. Because of you I know what the word sacrifice means and why my parents did what they did, even though it cost them their life. Because of you, I became a person who knows how to love and to sacrifice everything for the one they love. I came to understand a lot of things because of you Massu, and I’m really grateful to have you in my life. I’d give you my life if you wanted me to,” Tegoshi answers and kisses Massu’s lips, somehow knowing exactly where they were. Massu moans and kisses Tegoshi back.
“I’ll always protect you. I’m always going to be here for you…” Massu whispers, eyes closed, foreheads touching, lips inches apart, their hands intertwined in a silent vow to never let go of each other. “And I don’t want you to give me your life because if you did that, I’d give it up too just to be with you,” Massu added, lips seeking out Tegoshi’s once again. Their kiss holds many promises that Tegoshi looks forward to, in this life guided only by Massu’s angelic voice and laughter.
“You’re my happiness Massu, I’d sacrifice anything for you…”
-------------*******------------
A/N: it became longer than i expected but i hope you guys enjoyed it...
hihihi... dedicated to all my lj friends who likes some angst?
is this even angsty? i dunno... ahahaha...
i didn't kill tesshi this time, i just made him blind.
i'm so cruel to him. ahahaha!!! i like to make him suffer in my fics...
so yeah, hehe...
comments are totally loved!
just no flaming please!!!
yoroshiku onegaishimasu!!! ^______________^