Naruto: What Would Jesus Do? (SasuNaru, Some ShikaChouji, SakuIno, GaaNejiGaa)
Title: What Would Jesus Do?
Rating: M
Genre: AU, Drama, Romance, Angst, with a dash of Humour
Pairings: SasuNaru / NaruSasu, some ShikaChouji, SakuIno, GaaNejiGaa
Summary: After coming out of the closet, Naruto’s parents decide to send him to a conversion therapy camp. But things get even more complicated once he finds himself obsessing over a misanthropic chain-smoker from an unusual family. Now it's up to him to discover himself, his sexuality, and where his convictions really lie.
Camp rules were taken directly from a fundamentalist Christian camp called ‘Love In Action: Refuge.' I didn’t think them up, nor do I claim to. This really does happen (even if not all camps are really like this, this is the one I choose to base the fic off of). I messed with a few of them/left some out though for plot reasons. I tried to reword everything as best I could but some of them I couldn’t really mess with, sorry!
Much love to my most AMAZING beta!!
Onyx eyes watched as distressed teens were lead into the worship center like lambs to the slaughter. Even though Sasuke had been ‘busy’ with Naruto, he still was one of the first ones to enter and managed to snag a seat located in the back corner of the room. It was supposedly the most inconspicuous place in the room. Out of sight, secluded, and in the shadows.
Yet as he tried to blend in with the wall next to him, he suddenly felt like he was under a giant spotlight with the way everyone’s eyes seemed to go directly to him.
He supposed it had something to do with the way he was dressed. After all, it wasn’t every day someone came to a religious camp only to find a man wearing the tightest black leather imaginable. It was like going to heaven to meet a demon.
He smirked as he remembered the looks on all of the staff’s faces when he first strolled up to the front of the camp. He didn’t know it was humanly possible for someone to turn that shade of white. Hell, some of them even crossed themselves and muttered a quick prayer under their breaths like he was the devil himself.
Sasuke cleared his throat and watched as his nicotine stained fingers began to shake, already feeling the effects of his last cigarette. He clenched his fists, his jumbled nerves intensifying the after smell of smoke and lingering taste of tobacco that assaulted his senses. God, he would kill for another cigarette.
He shifted in his chair and crossed his legs, his leather pants stretching painfully over his crotch. He couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss in the alley, which was bad news for him because he was half hard. Again. Today was not a good day to be going commando.
Dark pupils darted around the room as he observed the new faces that piled in, trying to get his mind off of his libido. He smirked when he eyes landed on Naruto. The blond stood out like a sore thumb in that stupid orange shirt of his. His smirk widened as Naruto awkwardly rushed over and hopped in the first chair he saw.
Staff members murmured to each other and nodded their heads in approval as the blond crossed his legs and leaned over, looking like he was in prayer. Sasuke knew better though, especially when he saw nervous azure eyes dart around the room. Oh, he was praying all right. Praying that no one noticed the hard on that he was so desperately trying to hide.
Apparently Sasuke wasn’t the only one still thinking about their encounter.
A woman began clearing her throat loudly into a microphone, bringing everyone’s-including a very reluctant Sasuke’s-attention up to the stage. The microphone whined loudly when she began tapping it, causing everyone to clasp their hands over their ears and groan in complaint.
“Whoops, guess it works!” She chuckled as the few remaining stragglers took their seats. All conversations quieted to soft murmurs as the woman motioned for them to stop talking and began pacing in front of a giant cross on the stage. Once the voices stopped, she paused and pivoted to face the audience.
“Hello everyone, and welcome to Love in Action (1)! We’re so glad that all of you have chosen to gather here in the pursuit of sobriety from sin.”
“Like we had a choice…” Sasuke mumbled under his breath bitterly, glaring daggers at the woman on stage.
“It’s our job here at Love in Action to act as messengers of the Lord, giving all of you a safe environment for spiritual growing, and to be your guides on the road to recovery!” She adjusted her large, box-framed glasses and grinned, exposing lipstick stained teeth to everyone.
Sasuke felt his gag reflex acting up just listening to the woman’s sugar-coated voice. Well, at least he didn’t have to worry about being hard anymore. This woman was the biggest boner killer he’d ever seen.
She began walking back and forth in front of the crowd, looking from person to person with that same uncomfortable gaze that all of the other staff seemed to share. It must've been a requirement to work there. “Now, here our belief is based on three fundamental truths. First of all, there are no such thing as homosexuals!” She grinned, acting like she just revealed the cure to some life-threatening disease.
Sasuke scowled, fighting the urge to run on stage and strangle the robust woman as he uncrossed his legs and rested his hands on his knees. No such thing as homosexuality his ass; it wasn't like he just woke up one day and decided to be gay.
“The second truth is that both men and women will struggle with both large and small homosexual desires and attraction throughout their lives. Yes, we are here to help you, but to tell you that there is an automatic and total cure for this would not only be misleading, but harmful. The journey to forgiveness will be long and hard, so don’t expect any shortcuts,” she continued, her expression doing a complete one-eighty going from smiling and friendly, to stern and serious.
The woman was about as plastic as her cheap, red nails.
“The third and most important truth that we place our faith in here is that homosexuality is a sin, and will be treated as so with the same biblical models we would apply to any other sin. Only when we are able to see homosexuality as a sin, a behavior, and a wrong mindset, can we find forgiveness and freedom from it. Now, in Galatians 5:19 - 21: 19 it says-“
Sasuke tuned out her annoying chatter as she began spewing bible verses. How many different ways were there to tell him he was going to Hell, anyway? He’d only been there for twenty minutes and he’d already heard around ten.
He let his eyes wander around the room, examining it for the first time since he sat down. It was a cross between a regular camp auditorium and a church, complete with state of the art lightening, uncomfortably hard fold-up chairs, inexpensive purple carpeting, bible verse engraved cream walls, and a large stage with a giant crucifix hovering behind it.
The place reeked of pine-scented disinfectant from a recent cleaning, which was ironic since woods already surrounded them, so why would they need something that smelled like pine? It made almost as much sense as hanging a pine tree air freshener on a pine tree itself.
Everything in the room was in order and everything was where it should be. Not a single wire was out of place. Everything just seemed so agonizingly… perfect. Sasuke felt like throwing up all over the newly vacuum-streaked carpeting.
He let out a long exhale and sunk into his chair, hoping that the rest of the two months wouldn’t pass as slowly as the past five minutes had.
*****
Naruto slumped in his chair and rested his head on the back of his seat as he counted the ceiling tiles, completely ignoring the woman attempting to ‘save his soul’ up front. It wasn’t that he wasn’t interested in hearing what she had to say; it was just that he was too damn nervous and fidgety to pay any attention to it.
His eyes darted back to the first ceiling tile as he lost his place, starting to count them all over once again. He began drumming his fingers continuously on his knees, as if he would break out into a sudden seizure if he were to sit still.
Screw butterflies, he was pretty sure there was a pack of screeching pterodactyls flying around his stomach.
“And now for the camp rules-“ The lady said, finally cutting to the chase. One of the staff handed her a stapled stack of papers and she gave them a slight nod of thanks. She cleared her throat and adjusted her glasses, preparing to read from them.
Naruto straightened up in his chair and snapped his head back towards the front. The pterodactyls became more violent as nervousness washed over him once again. He had always been told to listen to his gut and right now, he didn’t like what it was telling him as it began to clench uncomfortably.
“No smoking, alcohol, or drugs. All prescription drugs and over-the-counter medications must be left in the care of our nurse, who will administer them when necessary. No sexual or emotional misconduct. Any temptations, fantasies, or dreams are to be presented to our staff workers only.
“Sexual misconduct includes viewing pornography, emotional dependency, voyeurism, stalking, masturbation, mutual masturbation, or any form of genital or sexual contact with another person. Sexual temptation, as well as the previously mentioned, is never to be discussed between campers.”
Naruto groaned. He was a healthy teenage boy with healthy teenage boy hormones, how did they expect for him to control his wet dreams? And how were they supposed to find out about them, anyway?
His eyes suddenly widened in realization. What if they can read minds?! He resisted the urge to stand up and run to the cafeteria to wrap his head in aluminum foil. He always heard that’s what stopped aliens from mind reading, so he figured it would probably stop the camp staff, too. Even if it would give them more reasons to think that there was something mentally and psychologically wrong with him.
“There is to be no hugging or touching between one another. Only brief handshakes or a quick affirmative hand on the shoulder is allowed. No swearing or saying the Lord’s name in vain. Now, let’s talk about hygiene. Here at Love in Action, hygiene is very important because we believe that small, unhealthy habits can lead to dysfunctional or life-controlling habits.
“Everyone must maintain appropriate hygiene, including daily showering, use of deodorant, and brushing teeth twice daily. Men are required to shave off all of their facial hair daily, including sideburns, and women must shave their legs and underarms at least twice weekly. While the hair cannot be longer than shoulder length on men, it still must be long enough to pinch between two fingers. Only natural hair color is allowed.
“Modesty is expected from all of you. No spandex or tight, provocative, suggestive clothing is allowed. No provocative or suggestive mannerisms are permitted. Fresh undergarments are to be worn at all times.” She seemed to latch her gaze onto a specific person in the room as she said this.
Naruto turned-along with most of the audience-to see Sasuke glaring icily back at her, his hands clenched tightly on his knees. Naruto couldn’t help but grin and snicker slightly under his breath.
One thing was for sure; Sasuke sure knew how to make a first impression. The bastard was breaking almost every one of those rules! He might as well have been naked in the eyes of the staff.
“Boxer shorts of any kind are considered underwear and are not to be worn as outer clothing-including as sleep wear. Everyone must be dressed appropriately in clean, unstained, unripped, and unwrinkled clothes. The only jewelry men may wear is a watch.”
Naruto paled and clutched his necklace through his shirt. No way. No way in hell he was letting these people take it. If they got their grubby little hands anywhere near it, he would break them off.
“In addition to a watch, women may also wear a pair of simple earrings-one earring per ear. Campers may not wear Abercrombie and Fitch or Calvin Klein brand clothing, undergarments, or accessories.”
Even though this place was beginning to sound worse and worse by the second, Naruto couldn’t help but laugh at that. Since when was Calvin Klein and Abercrombie and Fitch considered ‘ungodly’? Apparently he wasn’t the only one that thought it was absurd since the room instantly broke out into confused murmurs.
The woman merely frowned and raised her hand once again to silence them. “Shirts are to be worn at all times, even while sleeping. T-shirts without sleeves are not permitted at any time, whether worn as an outer garment or an undershirt. This includes muscle shirts, ‘wife beaters’, or other tank tops.
“Bikini-style underwear is forbidden. Bras must be worn at all times, except while sleeping. Thong-style underwear is prohibited. Women’s skirts must fall at or below the knee. Women may wear tank tops only if they are worn with an over-blouse. Socks are required at all times, even with sandals.
“No cologne, perfume, or use of other highly scented products. No coats, scarves, jackets, or overcoats. All belongings either will be or have been searched, including book bags, notebooks, wallets, handbags, purses, and the like. Items that violate the policy or dress code will be held for the owner and will be returned no later than the owner’s last day in the program.
“Family therapy will be held on weekends and group therapy is everyday from seven to eight thirty in the evening. This will be the only time you will be able to contact them, since phone calls, visits, and postcards from friends and family is prohibited.”
“False Image sessions will be held everyday at one o’clock until five o’ clock in the evening to help you rediscover your gender’s role in society. Rules for therapy and False Image will be given at your first session, which will be in three days time.
“There will be no listening to secular music or using the Internet. All cell phones, pagers, hand-held video games, cameras, sidekicks, and other electronics will be confiscated,” she paused as she flipped through the stack of papers, double-checking to make sure she said everything. She reached the last page, her pupils darting back and forth as they scanned its content.
“Alright, now for the next three days of the program, all of you will be put into Safekeeping! On Safekeeping there will be no talking or communication, whether it be verbally, written, or with hand gestures. Do not make eye contact with anyone-including staff.
“If there’s a practical need to be taken care of then, and only then, you are allowed to write down what you need on a sheet of paper and present it to the staff. Now, since this time of silence is a very important time for everyone to reflect on themselves and past actions, extra precautions will be taken to ensure that no one disobeys the rules.”
She bent over and picked up a red roll of duct tape that had been sitting on the stage, holding it up for everyone to see. “Each one of you will be getting a Life Saver placed over your mouth. The only time you are allowed to take it off is for eating, drinking, or brushing your teeth.”
The room once again broke out into outraged murmurs and disbelieving whispers. Naruto’s mouth dropped open. What kind of a sick joke was this? He waited for the punch line, but as he scanned the stern and solemn faces of the staff and the woman on stage, he realized this was no joke. They were serious.
“That’s bullshit!!” He yelled, jumping to his feet and knocking his chair back into the lap of the person behind him. The room fell dead silent before everyone around him shifted and tried to scoot their chairs away from him, trying to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. Naruto looked around, suddenly realizing his mistake. Shit, he didn’t mean to say that out loud!
“Er, I mean…” He broke out into a cold sweat, trying to think of a way to defuse the situation. “…that's bull crap?”
Oh yeah, that’ll solve everything. He groaned inwardly as he watched most of the staff gasp and cover their mouths in shock while the woman up front's nostrils flared up in anger, reminding Naruto of a rhinoceros ready to charge. Way to go, Naruto.
“You there! Young man!” The woman up front pointed a long, red fingernail at him, peering angrily at him through bug-eyed glasses, “What’s your name?”
“Naruto Uzumaki,” he answered, feeling something lightly bump the back of his knees as person behind him pushed the chair he knocked over back into place.
“Well then, Mr. Uzumaki, I hope you know that we have zero tolerance for outbursts like that and for those who break the rules. Now, I’m willing to let it slide this time since it’s still the first day and you’re still getting adjusted, however “she locked eyes with him, sending him a look so icy it would give even the devil chills, “next time, there will be consequences. Understood?”
Naruto nodded dumbly. He couldn’t help but wonder if one of the ‘consequences’ included spending thirty days in the hole. (3)
“Good. Now please come down here, you’re first,” she motioned impatiently for him to come to the front of the stage.
Naurto’s legs seemed to move on their own as he weaved through the row of seats. He bumped knees and stepped on feet as he stumbled into the aisle, his mouth suddenly too dry to mutter apologizes.
Whispers echoed throughout the room, trailing him like a shadow as he headed towards the stage. He stared at the giant crucifix hanging on the wall as he walked down the aisle, not wanting to see the judgmental looks directed at him as people gossiped behind their hands, as if the appendages would somehow make it impossible to hear their biting comments.
But he could hear. And it wasn’t the comments that hurt, or the fact that no one was exactly jumping out of their chair to help him; just knowing that the people that were stuck in the same situation for the same reasons were judging him was enough to make the lump in his throat unbearably large.
It looked like it would be every man for himself in this place.
The woman began speaking in another tongue (2) when Naruto stopped in front of the stage. He didn’t know whether to run for the hills or to laugh at the ridiculous dialogue that she was practically screaming into the microphone. Was she possessed? Naruto began to wonder if there was a reason why they called it the ‘holy ghost’.
She placed a hand on top of his golden locks and closed her eyes, speaking faster. The blond began to fidget uncomfortably under her grasp. It sounded more like she was cursing him rather than blessing him. Suddenly her eyes snapped open and she stopped talking, giving a slight push to Naruto’s head before pulling her hand away.
She loudly tore free a fresh strip of red duct tape and slapped it over his mouth, smoothing it out so it stuck to him like a second skin. Then she fished a black sharpie from her pants pocket and uncapped it, writing ‘LIFE’ in big, bold letters on the tape covering Naruto’s mouth.
“What do you need to repent for? Think about it! What do you need to be forgiven of? Don’t let this quiet time go to waste!!” She cried into the microphone, “Everyone line up, and once you have gotten your Life Saver please meet in the cafeteria. We will have an hour of silence before dinner.”
She turned and looked Naruto in the eye, shaking her head in disapproval the second their eyes met. The woman grabbed his chin and yanked his head to the side, breaking all eye contact, “Now you go somewhere and pray, and you start doing some repenting!”
She released his chin with a jerk and stepped off the stage, waddling towards the slowly forming lines of campers silently awaiting their Life Savers.
A soft hand, slick with freshly applied hand lotion, grabbed Naruto’s arm and turned him around, directing him towards the door. The small female staff member surprisingly smiled genuinely, murmuring sweet words of encouragement to the blond in a shy, stuttering voice; helping to rid some of the bad taste the bug-eyed woman’s words left in his mouth.
Feeling some of the nervous clenching in his stomach ease at the first gentle voice he’d heard since he got there, Naruto scanned the faces of all of the remaining teens as he was lead out of the worship center. Fear, sadness, disbelief, and confusion were the most common emotions, showing on almost everyone’s face… except for one.
Saskue remained seated, glaring heatedly at the seat in front of him, refusing to budge. A counselor eventually went over and said a few things to him, trying to pull him up by his arm. The raven yanked his arm violently out of the counselor’s grasp, stood up, and walked out of the room with the staff in tow.
On the surface Sasuke appeared to just be angry, pissed off that he had to put up with this camp and everyone in it. But when Sasuke pushed out of his chair and gazed at the violet carpeting, Naruto was able to see the hurt and betrayal swirling beneath those dark orbs.
The same hurt and betrayal that had reflected in Naruto’s blue eyes ever since he was first told he was being sent off to get fixed like some broken toy.
As Naruto was shoved in the direction of the cafeteria, he couldn’t help but think that maybe they weren’t so different after all.
*****
Naruto traced the indention that the part in his lips made against the cool, slick surface of the duct tape with his fingertips in disbelief. Countless people had threatened to silence the blond with the multi-purpose tape in the past, but this was the first time that anyone had actually followed through with it.
If someone had told him last week that he'd have to remain silent for three days straight, he would've laughed right in their face. Long and hard. But as he felt the frayed end where the tape had been torn, he couldn't help but think this was no laughing matter.
He felt like a little kid that was sent to the corner to think about what they did wrong. The only problem was, unlike when he would pull pranks or blurt out rude comments, Naruto honestly had no clue what he did wrong. But, maybe this time, he didn't do anything wrong. Maybe he didn’t make a mistake.
Maybe... he was the mistake. He nearly choked on the growing lump in his throat as he tried to swallow the thought. Shaking his head to dislodge those thoughts, he searched for a place to sit in the now crowded cafeteria.
He scanned the tables in confusion, searching for the only face he even remotely knew. Sasuke was nowhere to be found in the mass of bodies though. He frowned, the image of the camp staff leading him out of the worship center still fresh in his mind. Huh, that was strange. It was almost time for dinner and Sasuke had yet to arrive. Where had they taken him?
Naruto decided he might as well find a place to sit down instead of wait around for the boy. It felt awkward to stand by the door alone for so long, anyway.
As he walked through the rows to find a free space, he couldn’t help but think of the proverbial principle with the three monkeys as he looked at all of the duct taped faces.
See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.
It was unnerving to be around so many people and have the room be so eerily quiet. The fact that their eyes remained downcast in fear of making eye contact with someone did little to help lift the mood either.
He spotted an empty spot and slid on the bench that belonged to one of the long, wooden, picnic-style tables next to a girl with bright pink hair. He couldn't help but feel sympathy towards her as he remembered the camp rules against unnatural hair color. All that beautiful, shiny, cotton candy colored hair would have to either be chopped off or dyed with the cheap brown dye the camp carried for such emergencies.
A familiar dark-haired figure suddenly entered his peripheral vision and he whipped around, hoping it was the boy from before. Naruto almost had to a do a double take though when his eyes finally landed on the figure.
Sasuke was dressed modestly in a baggy, wrinkled, navy dress shirt and equally baggy and wrinkled black dress pants. Obviously the camp had made him change immediately after seeing his leather get-up.
Personally though, Naruto thought he deserved a medal for being able to stand wearing all that black leather to a hot, humid camp. Most people would’ve died from heat stroke within minutes. Maybe Sasuke was cold-blooded.
Apparently the leather wasn’t the only thing they disapproved of though, since the back of his once impeccably styled, spiky black hair was combed down, now nearly reaching his shoulders. Like everyone else, he also had his mouth sealed with bright red duct tape, but as he sauntered towards a table, Naruto couldn’t help but notice there was something… off about it.
He squinted his eyes and examined it, trying to spot the mistake. He couldn’t help but let out a muffled laugh that sounded like a mix between a guinea pig and someone choking when he finally realized why it looked weird; the duct tape pulling uncomfortably on his cheeks as the corners of his mouth rose in a grin.
Right in the center of the duct tape was a hole, just large enough to fit a cigarette in. The slight smudge of ink around the edges caused Naruto to infer Sasuke had stabbed it with a pen when no one was looking. Either that or if any of the camp’s staff had noticed, they hadn’t said anything yet. That or they probably didn’t know what to say.
Either the boy was a chain smoker, or he was just as nervous as Naruto and didn’t know any other way to relieve it. Naruto guessed it was the latter when he saw worry flicker momentarily in those dark orbs before they hardened again as Sasuke looked around the room, his apathetic guise once more in place.
The sound of plastic clacking against the table’s wooden surface brought Naruto’s attention down to where a tray of food was set in front of him. Dinner time, already? He stared down at the tray's contents, half-surprised to see a sloppy joe, mashed potatoes, peas, carrots, and corn sitting before him instead of stale bread and thin potato-based soup.
After everything that had been happening lately, he really didn’t feel like eating. Too bad his stomach did. It growled and gurgled loudly, voicing its displeasure that Naruto wasn’t feeding it to the quiet room. Everyone shifted their gaze over to Naruto, as if to see who or what dared to interrupt the silence.
Naruto felt a corner of the duct tape start to unstuck itself from his cheek as he began to sweat nervously. Even though he couldn’t see them, he could still feel the weight of everyone’s stares on him. And man was it uncomfortable. The blond rubbed the back of his head out of habit and gave them a duct taped concealed nervous grin before gently peeling off the tape and digging into his warm meal.
Well, at least the food was somewhat decent.
Just as long as it wasn’t like this every night. He didn’t think he’d be able to survive two long, agonizing months without ramen. Then again, who would want to survive two long, agonizing months without ramen?! Naruto didn’t even want to think about it.
He finished up his sloppy joe, his hunger now sated, and reached for his fork to get started on constructing a mashed potato volcano, complete with carrot huts and pea villagers. Accidentally grabbing it with his fingertips, he fumbled and dropped it, the fork making a loud clank as it landed on the bench he was seating on.
He breathed a sigh of relief, glad that he didn’t have to try to figure out how to ask someone for another one when he wasn’t allowed to communicate unless it was an emergency. Something told him his mashed potatoes didn’t exactly qualify as an emergency.
He looked down and saw the metal utensil lying beside him on the wood. As he reached to pick it up, something caught his eye. The pink-haired girl that sat next to him was trembling, sniffling quietly to herself as she choked back tears. That wasn’t what caught his attention though.
Underneath the protection of the long table she held someone’s hand, clutching it desperately like it was her only lifeline. Naruto couldn’t help but think how right that probably was as he trailed his eyes up the arm, only to find that it belonged to a blonde girl with the same confused and devastated expression on her face.
Snatching up his fork, he sat back up straight again, taking a moment to look at the people around him for the first time since he’d sat down. A boy that looked to be around the blonde’s age sat across from Naruto, his black hair pulled back into a spiky ponytail that reminded Naruto of a pineapple.
He shoved his full tray of food towards a pudgy boy sitting next to him, concern written all over his face at the fact that the large boy hadn’t even touched his own plate yet. The robust boy stared down at the food being offered and gave a small nod of thanks before accepting it.
Something in Naruto’s stomach twisted as the pineapple boy silently fussed over the chubby boy, obviously using it as a distraction so he didn’t have to analyze everything that was happening to and around him.
Even though he was sitting in a cafeteria full of people, Naruto had never felt so alone before.
Just as he began crafting log cabins out of his carrots and mashed potatoes to try and distract himself, a hand grabbed his tray of food away and replaced it with a slip of paper with the number seven written on it. He glared at the staff member collecting trays. He was almost finished with the carrot roof, too!
“Everyone please look at the slip of paper you’ve just been given. The number on there is the cabin you will be staying in for the remainder of your time here. There’s a sign just outside the front entrance that will point you to the trail that will take each of you to your respective cabin.
“Please put your Life Saver back on and report to your cabin. No pushing or shoving on your way out.” A bored looking staff member up front ordered in a monotone voice, like it was something he’d been required to say one too many times before, while chewing on the end of a long toothpick.
Naruto sighed and picked his piece of duct tape off of the table, smoothing it over his mouth once again. Tomorrow he’d make sure to ‘mysteriously misplace’ it to be free of it for a couple of hours. Besides, wearing the same piece of tape for three days straight could not be sanitary... and wouldn’t it lose its stickiness, anyway?
Memorizing the cabin’s number, he left the slip of paper on the table and got up, losing himself in the crowd as they were herded towards the front entrance like a group of cattle.
…God help us.
1. I wasn’t originally going to name the camp, but once I started reading about the real-life program called Love in Action, I loved the irony in the name way too much to not use it. So, uh, don’t sue me.
2. She’s literally speaking something called tongues; Wikipedia defines it as “unintelligible utterances, often as part of religious practice”, so it’s not a real language. Just really, really damn scary to hear in person.
3. You probably know this, but I know I’ll probably confuse a few people with this. I don’t mean a literal hole. I’m talking prison slang.
Before you guys get on my case about the way the woman who gave out the rules was acting, I recommend watching “Jesus Camp” since a lot of the dialogue she said actually came word for word from a woman that was speaking to a summer camp in that video. The Life Savers idea was actually a combination of a tape exercise from the camp and a real-life program called Safekeeping from Love and Action (it’d suck to have allergies in this camp DX).
Chapter: [ 1], [2], [ 3], [ 4], [ 5], [ 6], [ 7]
Rating: M
Genre: AU, Drama, Romance, Angst, with a dash of Humour
Pairings: SasuNaru / NaruSasu, some ShikaChouji, SakuIno, GaaNejiGaa
Summary: After coming out of the closet, Naruto’s parents decide to send him to a conversion therapy camp. But things get even more complicated once he finds himself obsessing over a misanthropic chain-smoker from an unusual family. Now it's up to him to discover himself, his sexuality, and where his convictions really lie.
Camp rules were taken directly from a fundamentalist Christian camp called ‘Love In Action: Refuge.' I didn’t think them up, nor do I claim to. This really does happen (even if not all camps are really like this, this is the one I choose to base the fic off of). I messed with a few of them/left some out though for plot reasons. I tried to reword everything as best I could but some of them I couldn’t really mess with, sorry!
Much love to my most AMAZING beta!!
Onyx eyes watched as distressed teens were lead into the worship center like lambs to the slaughter. Even though Sasuke had been ‘busy’ with Naruto, he still was one of the first ones to enter and managed to snag a seat located in the back corner of the room. It was supposedly the most inconspicuous place in the room. Out of sight, secluded, and in the shadows.
Yet as he tried to blend in with the wall next to him, he suddenly felt like he was under a giant spotlight with the way everyone’s eyes seemed to go directly to him.
He supposed it had something to do with the way he was dressed. After all, it wasn’t every day someone came to a religious camp only to find a man wearing the tightest black leather imaginable. It was like going to heaven to meet a demon.
He smirked as he remembered the looks on all of the staff’s faces when he first strolled up to the front of the camp. He didn’t know it was humanly possible for someone to turn that shade of white. Hell, some of them even crossed themselves and muttered a quick prayer under their breaths like he was the devil himself.
Sasuke cleared his throat and watched as his nicotine stained fingers began to shake, already feeling the effects of his last cigarette. He clenched his fists, his jumbled nerves intensifying the after smell of smoke and lingering taste of tobacco that assaulted his senses. God, he would kill for another cigarette.
He shifted in his chair and crossed his legs, his leather pants stretching painfully over his crotch. He couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss in the alley, which was bad news for him because he was half hard. Again. Today was not a good day to be going commando.
Dark pupils darted around the room as he observed the new faces that piled in, trying to get his mind off of his libido. He smirked when he eyes landed on Naruto. The blond stood out like a sore thumb in that stupid orange shirt of his. His smirk widened as Naruto awkwardly rushed over and hopped in the first chair he saw.
Staff members murmured to each other and nodded their heads in approval as the blond crossed his legs and leaned over, looking like he was in prayer. Sasuke knew better though, especially when he saw nervous azure eyes dart around the room. Oh, he was praying all right. Praying that no one noticed the hard on that he was so desperately trying to hide.
Apparently Sasuke wasn’t the only one still thinking about their encounter.
A woman began clearing her throat loudly into a microphone, bringing everyone’s-including a very reluctant Sasuke’s-attention up to the stage. The microphone whined loudly when she began tapping it, causing everyone to clasp their hands over their ears and groan in complaint.
“Whoops, guess it works!” She chuckled as the few remaining stragglers took their seats. All conversations quieted to soft murmurs as the woman motioned for them to stop talking and began pacing in front of a giant cross on the stage. Once the voices stopped, she paused and pivoted to face the audience.
“Hello everyone, and welcome to Love in Action (1)! We’re so glad that all of you have chosen to gather here in the pursuit of sobriety from sin.”
“Like we had a choice…” Sasuke mumbled under his breath bitterly, glaring daggers at the woman on stage.
“It’s our job here at Love in Action to act as messengers of the Lord, giving all of you a safe environment for spiritual growing, and to be your guides on the road to recovery!” She adjusted her large, box-framed glasses and grinned, exposing lipstick stained teeth to everyone.
Sasuke felt his gag reflex acting up just listening to the woman’s sugar-coated voice. Well, at least he didn’t have to worry about being hard anymore. This woman was the biggest boner killer he’d ever seen.
She began walking back and forth in front of the crowd, looking from person to person with that same uncomfortable gaze that all of the other staff seemed to share. It must've been a requirement to work there. “Now, here our belief is based on three fundamental truths. First of all, there are no such thing as homosexuals!” She grinned, acting like she just revealed the cure to some life-threatening disease.
Sasuke scowled, fighting the urge to run on stage and strangle the robust woman as he uncrossed his legs and rested his hands on his knees. No such thing as homosexuality his ass; it wasn't like he just woke up one day and decided to be gay.
“The second truth is that both men and women will struggle with both large and small homosexual desires and attraction throughout their lives. Yes, we are here to help you, but to tell you that there is an automatic and total cure for this would not only be misleading, but harmful. The journey to forgiveness will be long and hard, so don’t expect any shortcuts,” she continued, her expression doing a complete one-eighty going from smiling and friendly, to stern and serious.
The woman was about as plastic as her cheap, red nails.
“The third and most important truth that we place our faith in here is that homosexuality is a sin, and will be treated as so with the same biblical models we would apply to any other sin. Only when we are able to see homosexuality as a sin, a behavior, and a wrong mindset, can we find forgiveness and freedom from it. Now, in Galatians 5:19 - 21: 19 it says-“
Sasuke tuned out her annoying chatter as she began spewing bible verses. How many different ways were there to tell him he was going to Hell, anyway? He’d only been there for twenty minutes and he’d already heard around ten.
He let his eyes wander around the room, examining it for the first time since he sat down. It was a cross between a regular camp auditorium and a church, complete with state of the art lightening, uncomfortably hard fold-up chairs, inexpensive purple carpeting, bible verse engraved cream walls, and a large stage with a giant crucifix hovering behind it.
The place reeked of pine-scented disinfectant from a recent cleaning, which was ironic since woods already surrounded them, so why would they need something that smelled like pine? It made almost as much sense as hanging a pine tree air freshener on a pine tree itself.
Everything in the room was in order and everything was where it should be. Not a single wire was out of place. Everything just seemed so agonizingly… perfect. Sasuke felt like throwing up all over the newly vacuum-streaked carpeting.
He let out a long exhale and sunk into his chair, hoping that the rest of the two months wouldn’t pass as slowly as the past five minutes had.
*****
Naruto slumped in his chair and rested his head on the back of his seat as he counted the ceiling tiles, completely ignoring the woman attempting to ‘save his soul’ up front. It wasn’t that he wasn’t interested in hearing what she had to say; it was just that he was too damn nervous and fidgety to pay any attention to it.
His eyes darted back to the first ceiling tile as he lost his place, starting to count them all over once again. He began drumming his fingers continuously on his knees, as if he would break out into a sudden seizure if he were to sit still.
Screw butterflies, he was pretty sure there was a pack of screeching pterodactyls flying around his stomach.
“And now for the camp rules-“ The lady said, finally cutting to the chase. One of the staff handed her a stapled stack of papers and she gave them a slight nod of thanks. She cleared her throat and adjusted her glasses, preparing to read from them.
Naruto straightened up in his chair and snapped his head back towards the front. The pterodactyls became more violent as nervousness washed over him once again. He had always been told to listen to his gut and right now, he didn’t like what it was telling him as it began to clench uncomfortably.
“No smoking, alcohol, or drugs. All prescription drugs and over-the-counter medications must be left in the care of our nurse, who will administer them when necessary. No sexual or emotional misconduct. Any temptations, fantasies, or dreams are to be presented to our staff workers only.
“Sexual misconduct includes viewing pornography, emotional dependency, voyeurism, stalking, masturbation, mutual masturbation, or any form of genital or sexual contact with another person. Sexual temptation, as well as the previously mentioned, is never to be discussed between campers.”
Naruto groaned. He was a healthy teenage boy with healthy teenage boy hormones, how did they expect for him to control his wet dreams? And how were they supposed to find out about them, anyway?
His eyes suddenly widened in realization. What if they can read minds?! He resisted the urge to stand up and run to the cafeteria to wrap his head in aluminum foil. He always heard that’s what stopped aliens from mind reading, so he figured it would probably stop the camp staff, too. Even if it would give them more reasons to think that there was something mentally and psychologically wrong with him.
“There is to be no hugging or touching between one another. Only brief handshakes or a quick affirmative hand on the shoulder is allowed. No swearing or saying the Lord’s name in vain. Now, let’s talk about hygiene. Here at Love in Action, hygiene is very important because we believe that small, unhealthy habits can lead to dysfunctional or life-controlling habits.
“Everyone must maintain appropriate hygiene, including daily showering, use of deodorant, and brushing teeth twice daily. Men are required to shave off all of their facial hair daily, including sideburns, and women must shave their legs and underarms at least twice weekly. While the hair cannot be longer than shoulder length on men, it still must be long enough to pinch between two fingers. Only natural hair color is allowed.
“Modesty is expected from all of you. No spandex or tight, provocative, suggestive clothing is allowed. No provocative or suggestive mannerisms are permitted. Fresh undergarments are to be worn at all times.” She seemed to latch her gaze onto a specific person in the room as she said this.
Naruto turned-along with most of the audience-to see Sasuke glaring icily back at her, his hands clenched tightly on his knees. Naruto couldn’t help but grin and snicker slightly under his breath.
One thing was for sure; Sasuke sure knew how to make a first impression. The bastard was breaking almost every one of those rules! He might as well have been naked in the eyes of the staff.
“Boxer shorts of any kind are considered underwear and are not to be worn as outer clothing-including as sleep wear. Everyone must be dressed appropriately in clean, unstained, unripped, and unwrinkled clothes. The only jewelry men may wear is a watch.”
Naruto paled and clutched his necklace through his shirt. No way. No way in hell he was letting these people take it. If they got their grubby little hands anywhere near it, he would break them off.
“In addition to a watch, women may also wear a pair of simple earrings-one earring per ear. Campers may not wear Abercrombie and Fitch or Calvin Klein brand clothing, undergarments, or accessories.”
Even though this place was beginning to sound worse and worse by the second, Naruto couldn’t help but laugh at that. Since when was Calvin Klein and Abercrombie and Fitch considered ‘ungodly’? Apparently he wasn’t the only one that thought it was absurd since the room instantly broke out into confused murmurs.
The woman merely frowned and raised her hand once again to silence them. “Shirts are to be worn at all times, even while sleeping. T-shirts without sleeves are not permitted at any time, whether worn as an outer garment or an undershirt. This includes muscle shirts, ‘wife beaters’, or other tank tops.
“Bikini-style underwear is forbidden. Bras must be worn at all times, except while sleeping. Thong-style underwear is prohibited. Women’s skirts must fall at or below the knee. Women may wear tank tops only if they are worn with an over-blouse. Socks are required at all times, even with sandals.
“No cologne, perfume, or use of other highly scented products. No coats, scarves, jackets, or overcoats. All belongings either will be or have been searched, including book bags, notebooks, wallets, handbags, purses, and the like. Items that violate the policy or dress code will be held for the owner and will be returned no later than the owner’s last day in the program.
“Family therapy will be held on weekends and group therapy is everyday from seven to eight thirty in the evening. This will be the only time you will be able to contact them, since phone calls, visits, and postcards from friends and family is prohibited.”
“False Image sessions will be held everyday at one o’clock until five o’ clock in the evening to help you rediscover your gender’s role in society. Rules for therapy and False Image will be given at your first session, which will be in three days time.
“There will be no listening to secular music or using the Internet. All cell phones, pagers, hand-held video games, cameras, sidekicks, and other electronics will be confiscated,” she paused as she flipped through the stack of papers, double-checking to make sure she said everything. She reached the last page, her pupils darting back and forth as they scanned its content.
“Alright, now for the next three days of the program, all of you will be put into Safekeeping! On Safekeeping there will be no talking or communication, whether it be verbally, written, or with hand gestures. Do not make eye contact with anyone-including staff.
“If there’s a practical need to be taken care of then, and only then, you are allowed to write down what you need on a sheet of paper and present it to the staff. Now, since this time of silence is a very important time for everyone to reflect on themselves and past actions, extra precautions will be taken to ensure that no one disobeys the rules.”
She bent over and picked up a red roll of duct tape that had been sitting on the stage, holding it up for everyone to see. “Each one of you will be getting a Life Saver placed over your mouth. The only time you are allowed to take it off is for eating, drinking, or brushing your teeth.”
The room once again broke out into outraged murmurs and disbelieving whispers. Naruto’s mouth dropped open. What kind of a sick joke was this? He waited for the punch line, but as he scanned the stern and solemn faces of the staff and the woman on stage, he realized this was no joke. They were serious.
“That’s bullshit!!” He yelled, jumping to his feet and knocking his chair back into the lap of the person behind him. The room fell dead silent before everyone around him shifted and tried to scoot their chairs away from him, trying to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. Naruto looked around, suddenly realizing his mistake. Shit, he didn’t mean to say that out loud!
“Er, I mean…” He broke out into a cold sweat, trying to think of a way to defuse the situation. “…that's bull crap?”
Oh yeah, that’ll solve everything. He groaned inwardly as he watched most of the staff gasp and cover their mouths in shock while the woman up front's nostrils flared up in anger, reminding Naruto of a rhinoceros ready to charge. Way to go, Naruto.
“You there! Young man!” The woman up front pointed a long, red fingernail at him, peering angrily at him through bug-eyed glasses, “What’s your name?”
“Naruto Uzumaki,” he answered, feeling something lightly bump the back of his knees as person behind him pushed the chair he knocked over back into place.
“Well then, Mr. Uzumaki, I hope you know that we have zero tolerance for outbursts like that and for those who break the rules. Now, I’m willing to let it slide this time since it’s still the first day and you’re still getting adjusted, however “she locked eyes with him, sending him a look so icy it would give even the devil chills, “next time, there will be consequences. Understood?”
Naruto nodded dumbly. He couldn’t help but wonder if one of the ‘consequences’ included spending thirty days in the hole. (3)
“Good. Now please come down here, you’re first,” she motioned impatiently for him to come to the front of the stage.
Naurto’s legs seemed to move on their own as he weaved through the row of seats. He bumped knees and stepped on feet as he stumbled into the aisle, his mouth suddenly too dry to mutter apologizes.
Whispers echoed throughout the room, trailing him like a shadow as he headed towards the stage. He stared at the giant crucifix hanging on the wall as he walked down the aisle, not wanting to see the judgmental looks directed at him as people gossiped behind their hands, as if the appendages would somehow make it impossible to hear their biting comments.
But he could hear. And it wasn’t the comments that hurt, or the fact that no one was exactly jumping out of their chair to help him; just knowing that the people that were stuck in the same situation for the same reasons were judging him was enough to make the lump in his throat unbearably large.
It looked like it would be every man for himself in this place.
The woman began speaking in another tongue (2) when Naruto stopped in front of the stage. He didn’t know whether to run for the hills or to laugh at the ridiculous dialogue that she was practically screaming into the microphone. Was she possessed? Naruto began to wonder if there was a reason why they called it the ‘holy ghost’.
She placed a hand on top of his golden locks and closed her eyes, speaking faster. The blond began to fidget uncomfortably under her grasp. It sounded more like she was cursing him rather than blessing him. Suddenly her eyes snapped open and she stopped talking, giving a slight push to Naruto’s head before pulling her hand away.
She loudly tore free a fresh strip of red duct tape and slapped it over his mouth, smoothing it out so it stuck to him like a second skin. Then she fished a black sharpie from her pants pocket and uncapped it, writing ‘LIFE’ in big, bold letters on the tape covering Naruto’s mouth.
“What do you need to repent for? Think about it! What do you need to be forgiven of? Don’t let this quiet time go to waste!!” She cried into the microphone, “Everyone line up, and once you have gotten your Life Saver please meet in the cafeteria. We will have an hour of silence before dinner.”
She turned and looked Naruto in the eye, shaking her head in disapproval the second their eyes met. The woman grabbed his chin and yanked his head to the side, breaking all eye contact, “Now you go somewhere and pray, and you start doing some repenting!”
She released his chin with a jerk and stepped off the stage, waddling towards the slowly forming lines of campers silently awaiting their Life Savers.
A soft hand, slick with freshly applied hand lotion, grabbed Naruto’s arm and turned him around, directing him towards the door. The small female staff member surprisingly smiled genuinely, murmuring sweet words of encouragement to the blond in a shy, stuttering voice; helping to rid some of the bad taste the bug-eyed woman’s words left in his mouth.
Feeling some of the nervous clenching in his stomach ease at the first gentle voice he’d heard since he got there, Naruto scanned the faces of all of the remaining teens as he was lead out of the worship center. Fear, sadness, disbelief, and confusion were the most common emotions, showing on almost everyone’s face… except for one.
Saskue remained seated, glaring heatedly at the seat in front of him, refusing to budge. A counselor eventually went over and said a few things to him, trying to pull him up by his arm. The raven yanked his arm violently out of the counselor’s grasp, stood up, and walked out of the room with the staff in tow.
On the surface Sasuke appeared to just be angry, pissed off that he had to put up with this camp and everyone in it. But when Sasuke pushed out of his chair and gazed at the violet carpeting, Naruto was able to see the hurt and betrayal swirling beneath those dark orbs.
The same hurt and betrayal that had reflected in Naruto’s blue eyes ever since he was first told he was being sent off to get fixed like some broken toy.
As Naruto was shoved in the direction of the cafeteria, he couldn’t help but think that maybe they weren’t so different after all.
*****
Naruto traced the indention that the part in his lips made against the cool, slick surface of the duct tape with his fingertips in disbelief. Countless people had threatened to silence the blond with the multi-purpose tape in the past, but this was the first time that anyone had actually followed through with it.
If someone had told him last week that he'd have to remain silent for three days straight, he would've laughed right in their face. Long and hard. But as he felt the frayed end where the tape had been torn, he couldn't help but think this was no laughing matter.
He felt like a little kid that was sent to the corner to think about what they did wrong. The only problem was, unlike when he would pull pranks or blurt out rude comments, Naruto honestly had no clue what he did wrong. But, maybe this time, he didn't do anything wrong. Maybe he didn’t make a mistake.
Maybe... he was the mistake. He nearly choked on the growing lump in his throat as he tried to swallow the thought. Shaking his head to dislodge those thoughts, he searched for a place to sit in the now crowded cafeteria.
He scanned the tables in confusion, searching for the only face he even remotely knew. Sasuke was nowhere to be found in the mass of bodies though. He frowned, the image of the camp staff leading him out of the worship center still fresh in his mind. Huh, that was strange. It was almost time for dinner and Sasuke had yet to arrive. Where had they taken him?
Naruto decided he might as well find a place to sit down instead of wait around for the boy. It felt awkward to stand by the door alone for so long, anyway.
As he walked through the rows to find a free space, he couldn’t help but think of the proverbial principle with the three monkeys as he looked at all of the duct taped faces.
See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.
It was unnerving to be around so many people and have the room be so eerily quiet. The fact that their eyes remained downcast in fear of making eye contact with someone did little to help lift the mood either.
He spotted an empty spot and slid on the bench that belonged to one of the long, wooden, picnic-style tables next to a girl with bright pink hair. He couldn't help but feel sympathy towards her as he remembered the camp rules against unnatural hair color. All that beautiful, shiny, cotton candy colored hair would have to either be chopped off or dyed with the cheap brown dye the camp carried for such emergencies.
A familiar dark-haired figure suddenly entered his peripheral vision and he whipped around, hoping it was the boy from before. Naruto almost had to a do a double take though when his eyes finally landed on the figure.
Sasuke was dressed modestly in a baggy, wrinkled, navy dress shirt and equally baggy and wrinkled black dress pants. Obviously the camp had made him change immediately after seeing his leather get-up.
Personally though, Naruto thought he deserved a medal for being able to stand wearing all that black leather to a hot, humid camp. Most people would’ve died from heat stroke within minutes. Maybe Sasuke was cold-blooded.
Apparently the leather wasn’t the only thing they disapproved of though, since the back of his once impeccably styled, spiky black hair was combed down, now nearly reaching his shoulders. Like everyone else, he also had his mouth sealed with bright red duct tape, but as he sauntered towards a table, Naruto couldn’t help but notice there was something… off about it.
He squinted his eyes and examined it, trying to spot the mistake. He couldn’t help but let out a muffled laugh that sounded like a mix between a guinea pig and someone choking when he finally realized why it looked weird; the duct tape pulling uncomfortably on his cheeks as the corners of his mouth rose in a grin.
Right in the center of the duct tape was a hole, just large enough to fit a cigarette in. The slight smudge of ink around the edges caused Naruto to infer Sasuke had stabbed it with a pen when no one was looking. Either that or if any of the camp’s staff had noticed, they hadn’t said anything yet. That or they probably didn’t know what to say.
Either the boy was a chain smoker, or he was just as nervous as Naruto and didn’t know any other way to relieve it. Naruto guessed it was the latter when he saw worry flicker momentarily in those dark orbs before they hardened again as Sasuke looked around the room, his apathetic guise once more in place.
The sound of plastic clacking against the table’s wooden surface brought Naruto’s attention down to where a tray of food was set in front of him. Dinner time, already? He stared down at the tray's contents, half-surprised to see a sloppy joe, mashed potatoes, peas, carrots, and corn sitting before him instead of stale bread and thin potato-based soup.
After everything that had been happening lately, he really didn’t feel like eating. Too bad his stomach did. It growled and gurgled loudly, voicing its displeasure that Naruto wasn’t feeding it to the quiet room. Everyone shifted their gaze over to Naruto, as if to see who or what dared to interrupt the silence.
Naruto felt a corner of the duct tape start to unstuck itself from his cheek as he began to sweat nervously. Even though he couldn’t see them, he could still feel the weight of everyone’s stares on him. And man was it uncomfortable. The blond rubbed the back of his head out of habit and gave them a duct taped concealed nervous grin before gently peeling off the tape and digging into his warm meal.
Well, at least the food was somewhat decent.
Just as long as it wasn’t like this every night. He didn’t think he’d be able to survive two long, agonizing months without ramen. Then again, who would want to survive two long, agonizing months without ramen?! Naruto didn’t even want to think about it.
He finished up his sloppy joe, his hunger now sated, and reached for his fork to get started on constructing a mashed potato volcano, complete with carrot huts and pea villagers. Accidentally grabbing it with his fingertips, he fumbled and dropped it, the fork making a loud clank as it landed on the bench he was seating on.
He breathed a sigh of relief, glad that he didn’t have to try to figure out how to ask someone for another one when he wasn’t allowed to communicate unless it was an emergency. Something told him his mashed potatoes didn’t exactly qualify as an emergency.
He looked down and saw the metal utensil lying beside him on the wood. As he reached to pick it up, something caught his eye. The pink-haired girl that sat next to him was trembling, sniffling quietly to herself as she choked back tears. That wasn’t what caught his attention though.
Underneath the protection of the long table she held someone’s hand, clutching it desperately like it was her only lifeline. Naruto couldn’t help but think how right that probably was as he trailed his eyes up the arm, only to find that it belonged to a blonde girl with the same confused and devastated expression on her face.
Snatching up his fork, he sat back up straight again, taking a moment to look at the people around him for the first time since he’d sat down. A boy that looked to be around the blonde’s age sat across from Naruto, his black hair pulled back into a spiky ponytail that reminded Naruto of a pineapple.
He shoved his full tray of food towards a pudgy boy sitting next to him, concern written all over his face at the fact that the large boy hadn’t even touched his own plate yet. The robust boy stared down at the food being offered and gave a small nod of thanks before accepting it.
Something in Naruto’s stomach twisted as the pineapple boy silently fussed over the chubby boy, obviously using it as a distraction so he didn’t have to analyze everything that was happening to and around him.
Even though he was sitting in a cafeteria full of people, Naruto had never felt so alone before.
Just as he began crafting log cabins out of his carrots and mashed potatoes to try and distract himself, a hand grabbed his tray of food away and replaced it with a slip of paper with the number seven written on it. He glared at the staff member collecting trays. He was almost finished with the carrot roof, too!
“Everyone please look at the slip of paper you’ve just been given. The number on there is the cabin you will be staying in for the remainder of your time here. There’s a sign just outside the front entrance that will point you to the trail that will take each of you to your respective cabin.
“Please put your Life Saver back on and report to your cabin. No pushing or shoving on your way out.” A bored looking staff member up front ordered in a monotone voice, like it was something he’d been required to say one too many times before, while chewing on the end of a long toothpick.
Naruto sighed and picked his piece of duct tape off of the table, smoothing it over his mouth once again. Tomorrow he’d make sure to ‘mysteriously misplace’ it to be free of it for a couple of hours. Besides, wearing the same piece of tape for three days straight could not be sanitary... and wouldn’t it lose its stickiness, anyway?
Memorizing the cabin’s number, he left the slip of paper on the table and got up, losing himself in the crowd as they were herded towards the front entrance like a group of cattle.
…God help us.
1. I wasn’t originally going to name the camp, but once I started reading about the real-life program called Love in Action, I loved the irony in the name way too much to not use it. So, uh, don’t sue me.
2. She’s literally speaking something called tongues; Wikipedia defines it as “unintelligible utterances, often as part of religious practice”, so it’s not a real language. Just really, really damn scary to hear in person.
3. You probably know this, but I know I’ll probably confuse a few people with this. I don’t mean a literal hole. I’m talking prison slang.
Before you guys get on my case about the way the woman who gave out the rules was acting, I recommend watching “Jesus Camp” since a lot of the dialogue she said actually came word for word from a woman that was speaking to a summer camp in that video. The Life Savers idea was actually a combination of a tape exercise from the camp and a real-life program called Safekeeping from Love and Action (it’d suck to have allergies in this camp DX).
Chapter: [ 1], [2], [ 3], [ 4], [ 5], [ 6], [ 7]