Rrr. RRRR. R-R-R-R-R-RRRAAAAAAH!
TITLE: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5436213/7/A_Pirate_Story
CULPRIT: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1965512/HisAngelGirlJ
SUMMARY: Rebeka Turner, daughter of Elizabeth and Will who is now the governor of Port Royal runs away with Jack to sea. Her adventures and her parent's fight to bring her back. Set before the last movie with my own ideas about the ending. Will and Liz inherit PR. PR? What the…oh, lord. Port Royal. Will and Elizabeth inherit Port Royal.
Rather nice of Governor Swann to leave them an entire city, wasn’t it?
BEST LINE: “My looking glass revealed a person so different looking from the harbor boy I had been impersonating earlier that I started. I always do.”
The Verdict:
NAME: Rebeka “Whaddaya mean, it has a silent ‘h’?!” Turner
HAIR: “sandy brown hair” “My hair was in ringlets, most of it pulled back, but some curls left to artfully brush my cheeks.”
EYES: My eyes were a vivid green that was all my own. Six and a half years of PotC fic at your fingertips, and you’re still pretending that vivid green eyes are unique?
DINSTIGUISHING FEATURES: She dresses in boy’s clothes for no reason. Are skirts really all that bad, Suethors?
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: Governor!Will and Prim&Proper!Elizabeth.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS: Will and Elizabeth’s daughter. There’s a hideously inappropriate attraction between her and Jack Sparrow.
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: “I had practiced and practiced the street boy accent until I had it perfect.” So that when you grew up, you could be a street boy and…beg?
So, all of a sudden it’s 1801, and the daughter of Will and Elizabeth is making her way in the world. Now, it’s not out of the realm of possibility for Will and Elizabeth’s children to live to see the year 1801. But those “children” would be pretty damn old, not the giddy pubescent of tonight’s sorry fic.
It’s too bad, really. Maybe then Rebeka would be old enough to have Jack (in his fifties or early sixties by now!) look her up and down, make her blush, put his arm around her shoulder and then refuse to let go. True, they might not end up together, since the genre says Adventure/Drama, but frankly I don’t trust it. Fortunately, we don’t have to linger too long on the age gap, because the Suefic’s primary failure is all about Elizabeth.
Remember her? Pirate King, all-around swashbuckling lady? Well, for reasons best known to the Suethor, Elizabeth has given up being king and settled back into respectable society as Will-the-Governor’s wife. But wait, it gets better. She lectures Sue constantly on being a proper lady, emphasizes over and over that Sue will have to obey her, takes away Sue’s freedom, and refuses to let her outside unaccompanied! As little as this personality suits her, it then collapses altogether after Sue leaves. The last chapter of the fic is just Elizabeth crying on Will’s shoulder (!) and praying to Calypso (?!) to keep her Sue safe.
Where has Elizabeth’s REAL character gone? Why, the Sue has stolen it, of course! She dresses as a boy, just like Lizzy, and boards the Black Pearl, just like Lizzy, and has a romantic fascination with pirates, just like Lizzy. The only thing different is that Sue’s position on board ship is “cook’s helper,” which means that she…she…sticks her head in the oven to scrub it out. Ahh, the sounds of the Black Pearl-the flutter of its sails and the roar of its mighty ovens!
I wonder…without a flue, what happens to all that smoke?
Notes: I’m being hard on this fic because are intermittent flashes of thought and historical research behind the daughter-Sue façade. Unfortunately, this is completely negated by the author’s failure to read any of her fic after she writes it. She knows about press gangs and understands that life aboard ship is hard work…but then misspells really simple words and bungles her sentence structures. Please, people. A beta is your friend.
Elizabeth Swann is oppressive, restrictive, and traditional. Just like you remember.
Later that night, after spending the entire dinner bombarding Jack with questions, finding out at the end that he was leaving tonight, setting sail for Tortuga, my mother came into my room as I was brushing out my hair for bed.
“This has got to stop.” She said, her arms crossed over her chest. I knew that tone of voice. Thats the you're grounded for a month voice. “You can't go out like that. It isn't safe. You could get pressed,” (for you early-18th century illiterate, Not to be confused with you, 21st century illiterate! that means press gangs kidnap you and sell you onto a ship to work) I like how you enlighten us about press gangs at the same time you talk about getting grounded. “Or get lost, or hurt-”
“I know what I'm doing, mother. I can take care of myself.” I didn't even look at her, afraid to see the expression on her face.
“Rebeka! You will listen to me, and you will obey me. You will not leave this house without my permission and a suitable companion, ever again.” Ladies and gentlemen: the Pirate King. She turned to leave.
I spun around to face her, my hair wild and loose. "Wild" hair? You were just brushing it! “You can't do that! I have my freedom!” I shouted.
“I am your mother. You will obey me.” Good grief, OOC!Elizabeth is making Governor Swann look like a progressive and modern man. She spun on her heel and left, leaving me angry to the point of tears, chest heaving. She will not take this away. She cannot take this away.
So, I resolved that that night, I would have my freedom. I would sail the seas and never come back.
I would join the crew of the Ship of Freedom.
I would have my freedom. I never thought I’d say it, but a little thesaurus abuse would be welcome right about now.
The House of Governer Turner, Port Royal
August 1801 (Midnight)
I lay in bed, my breathing slow, pretending to be asleep. Bess had looked in once more before going to her own room, and, satisfied I was staying put, left for good. Under the covers I wore my ragmuffin disguise and held a bag witha few simple belongings; a silver pendant (to sell if I needed to), a little bit of foor Foor, huh? ...yeah, I can see how that would be a rarity. I had nicked (stolen) from the kitchens, and a change of clothes.
When I was certain Bess was gone and everyone in the house asleep I rose and opened the curtains, allowing moonlight to shine in. It was a full moon that illuminated everything in the room. I placed the note I had written after supper on my pillow Is supper tastier that way? and climbed out the window, down a conveniently placed tree, and ran out through our yard. What is it with conveniently-placed trees in these Suefics? Or what was my yard, anyway. I wasn't planning on coming back.
When I reached the edge of the road I turned around a faced my old house, my old home. A thread of regret tugged at me, but I ignored it. I was doing the right thing, I was postitive. *raises eyebrow* As a good-bye I raised my finger's to my lips and blew a kiss. Then I headed of the warfs straight into the harbor and didn't look back.
A ‘ledgendary’ ship
I walked down to the warfs and strode along the dock, trying to find Jack's ship. I asked many burly sailor men, but no one seemed to know, until one very short, very bald man answered.
“'E's in the cove- 'iding from the copper's, just like all the indecent and dishonest folk are. Why d'ye ask?” He grinned at me to show me rotton teeth. And his ‘rotton’ accent, too.
I puffed out my chest like a arrogant street rat. “I was thinkin' a' joinin' 'is crew.” Though I see Sue’s no slouch herself.
The sailor looked me up and down, taking in my thin waist and lack of muscles. “All righ'.” He said finally. “I'll take ye to 'im. But I'm not garenteein' 'e'll take ya. Follow me.”
He led me away from the busy docks and bustling town, out through the farms and down a woods trail. Yep, all those woods in Port Royal. I began to get nervous, wondering if he was one of those vagrants my mother talked about. Then I relaxed. He didn't even know I was a girl. Besides, living a life full of dangers was one of the choices I made when I left my parent's house.
We arrived in a secluded cove, not visible from the watch tower's or the navy's patrol ships. Um, if there was a secluded cove near Port Royal, why didn’t Barbossa just anchor the Pearl there and sneak up on the town during his raid, rather than alert the Navy to his presence right away? Seems like it would save some time and effort. There before me sat the ledgendary ship, the one I had dreamed of seeing for as long as I could remember. “Aye, she's a beaut.” The small man who led me here said. “No ship faster.” I nodded, trembling with excitment. All my dreams, right before my very eyes.
The man climbed into a row boat and took us to the great ship itself. He was suprisingly strong for his size, but, then again, so was I. And besides, sailing is a hard life, piracy even harder. He wouldn't have lasted long if he wasn't strong. “ 'Ere we are.” He pulled up beside the Black Pearl. “Climb up!”
I scurried up the wooden ladder attatched to the edge of the hull. The what attached to the what? Hey, here’s a thought. How about pretending that your readers are not mind readers and can’t guess what’s going on inside your head? I mean, besides “OMG piratz r so kool i wanna b wun!!!!1” When I hoisted myself on deck, my friend right behind me I saw a thing I had only imagined. There on the deck stood none other then Captain Jack Sparrow, shouting order's to his crew. A crew I might soon be part of!
Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder. The man who had brought me here steered me toward Jack. “ 'Ere she is, Cap'in. Showed up a' the warf, 'zactly like ye said she would.” I looked at him in horror and he grinned at me, baring his hideous teeth again. Eww, what’d he do-sharpen them?
Jack turned around and looked me over, making me blush. Noooooooo! Then a clever smile broke his face and he swept off his tricorn hat and bowed. “Always a pleasure.” No. No it’s not. It’s definitely not a pleasure for a Jack Sparrow who is nearly sixty to be leering at Will and Elizabeth’s child!
Sexual tension between Jack and…Will and Elizabeth’s daughter?
This time Jack just regarded me somberly. “Yes, we have been through quite alot together.” He said slowly. Then he continued with a grin. “I guess we are friends, but they might not want you spreading that.”
“Why the 'ell not?” I asked. “I'd be proud t' call ye my mate.” *cries* Please…no more…
He sighed and through an arm around my shoulders. *turns purple* I attempted to shrug him off, but he held me fast. *turns puce* “Get back t' work ya lubers!” He shouted to the crew. Then he tugged me below deck, down to his room. *explodes in a shower of WTF* I was afriad of what he might try to do, but my pride wouldn't even let me show that fear. When the door was safely closed behind us he took a seat, to my suprise, in a chair that was bolted to the floor, and motioned for me to sit in the other one.
“Now that we're alone, please, talk the way you're mother taught you. That common slur doesn't suit you at all.” He stretched in the chair like a cat. *tries to imagine Jack doing this*
*fails*
“If they already know who I am what is the point of me only speaking properly when we're...alone?” I stumbled over the last word. Jack noticed and grinned.
“I told them nothing but what they needed to know. I just said that at girl, dressed as a boy, would show up at the warf tonight looking for me. They don't even know your real name.”
“But- but-okay. What if they hear about the reward- there will be one, surely- and deduce it?” I was worried. I didn't want my parents to find me, not yet anyway.
He crossed his legs, restless. “We take on plenty of street rats. They don't even know your parents reside here.”
I relaxed and returned to my usual self. “Ooh, reside. Fancy word for a pirate.”
He just looked at me. “It is good to know how to talk in all manners. You never know when you might need to disguise yourself.”
I went quiet. Uh, no you didn’t. *points to next sentence*“I'll remember that.”
There was a knock on the door. “What?” The captain yelled.
“We're ready to make sail.” Came the muffled reply.
Jack sighed one last time and rose. “It can be hard being a world famous pirate captain, remember that too.” He called over his shoulder. He paused at the door. “You can have this cabin, for tonight until we find better berth for you.” He made to leave once more, then stopped again. “You might want to choose a name for yourself, by the way. Something common.”
He left.
I debated my name. Finally I decided.
I would call myself my own name, but changed slightly. Bekki Morgan. I really didn't like my name, but I would answer to it, and besides, Bekki Morgan, Pirate Queen, sounded good. She doesn’t even have the guts to be Pirate King. Not that I was aiming that high.
Yet. You don’t need to aim high, really. Just aim right…between…the eyes. *click*