And now, for a Sue with an underwear fetish.

[araeph]

TITLE: Ocean Kiss Ewww, salty.

CULPRIT: xBelekinax Creator not only of Suefic, but of a 14-page bio.

SUMMARY: Sparks fly when 2 pirates fall in love especially if he's Captain Jack Sparrow and she's Pia Sterlin a long lost friend and an exlover.What happens when Pia finds her father's family? And who wins her in the end? Jack OC

BEST LINE: I laughed so hard at Elizabeth’s look when she was my underwear. Mary Sue: wiping her ass with canon characters since 1973.

BEST WEAPONRY: I grabbed a small dagger and tied it to my inner arm, where it was hidden among the laces and pocketed some money. “If I’m going to be a Sue's dagger, I might as well get paid for it!”

BEST TERMINOLOGY: I rowed all the way to the port and tied the small boat to the wooden pier’s leg. The pier’s arm came out of nowhere and smacked her one.

BEST AUTHOR’s NOTE: (note from author: ok, so if you haven’t noticed, Pia’s talking about modern bra’s and low rise panties. If you’re wondering how she managed to sew the bra; she cut out parts from corsets, if you know what I mean. I decided to make her design her own underwear since I figured that wearing those old panties and corsets are uncomfortable, and staying without underwear around men {even though with clothes on} can be rather awkward. Sorry about all the ramblings, just had to explain some things) Out of all the things to make fun of here, what really stands out is the author saying that it’s awkward to have no underpants on under your clothes when you’re around men. I guess this must be experience talking, because how else would she know?

THE VERDICT:


NAME: Pia Sterlin. The author would like us to know that it is pronounced Pee-ya.
Well Suethor, that’s not something I would inform my readers about, but to each her own.

DESCRIPTIVE PARAGRAPHS: "She reminded me of a fire nymph. Her dark hair was a mass of disheveled black curls, which looked oddly attractive on her. Her skin was darker than other women’s but still too light to be considered a black person. *facepalm* Do people have to take a paint strip test now? Her dress was a dark red one with black flowers stitched at the hem and a string of black pearls rested delicately at the base of her neck. She was barefoot and her corset didn’t appear to be as tightly laced as other women’s. She was looking straight at the Pearl, as if she had already seen it before. She seemed oddly familiar, but recognition danced out of grasp.

The soft cotton see-through night-shirt had slipped just above her hips, revealing her white, low-rise panties. Make peace with these panties. They'll be mentioned half a dozen times in this fic. Her dark lashes were resting on her soft cheeks and her dark brown hair tumbled around her shoulders. The early sunlight made her tanned skin look as if she was made of golden bronze. He had nearly forgotten her elegant beauty during the years he had spent at sea without seeing her."

OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: Her mother was a whore, her father a captain who didn't care about her.

OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS: Was a member of Davy Jones' crew. Is friends with Elizabeth. *dusts off hands* Now, on to the oh so speshul--

*sigh*

Oh, please. Do I have to say it? Can't I skip it, just this once?

...

Fine. She's Jack's One True Love. Happy, now?

OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: A sentient, kleptomaniac dagger. A white pistol (from this picture, apparently). Modern underwear and bras. Innumerable pairs of pants. And Jack.

SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: The ability to make 21st century bras and underwear out of late 17th/early 18th century garments. I guess they had elastic back then. Also, she brags that during her stay on board the Dutchman, she never once got whipped.

TRAGIC PAST: "[Mr. Rancher] treated me like a grand-daughter, and I gave him the love I would have given to my father had he been human enough to take care of me. This old man, Mr Rancher, thought me everything I knew; reading, writing, navigational skills, map-reading, general knowledge and some odds and ends about ships and pirates. It was as if he knew what Fate had in store for me. In English, we call that a "plot device." I was happy, but I longed for freedom.

Then one day he died, and once again I found myself living on the streets (his grown up children never really liked me). This time I was sixteen years old. I found work as a maid at another house. The owner was very cruel and I hated his guts. Actually, cruel would make him sound human. He used to beat me and call me names, but I wasn’t the one who received the worst. I only stayed there because the income was good. In three months time I earned three hundred doubloons, imagine that. I'm trying, and it's not working out too well. I worked at is house for nine years. You might ask, 'What did you do with the money?' I spent them in learning to fight with a sword and a pistol. When I was twenty five I managed to save 300 doubloons (I was quite the spendthrift back then). "Spendthrift" means you spend money, not that you save it. And then I met Jack again.

My childhood friend came back. You mean the friend that was a teenager when you were a fetus? You can imagine how euphoric I was. He had lost the Black Pearl to Barbossa and, while talking over some rum (I wasn’t used to it by then), he asked me to join him in his search for Barbossa and the Pearl. We agreed that I was to give him my money so we could use it accordingly, and the day after I handed him the money we were to set sail. A month later I was deeply and madly in love with him. Pay attention to this timeline, and notice how it is completely and utterly contradicted in the next paragraph.

I quit my job and being the stupid and foolish girl that I was, I slept with him the night I gave him my money. No wonder this one hates whores. She hasn't figured out that it should be the other way around! The next day he was nowhere to be found. There's no need to say I was heart-broken. Thank you, that was absolutely hilarious.

The "Plot":

Sue is in Tortuga. She is special in just about every way, but she has a grudge against Jack for no some reason. They meet up again, she calls him Jackie, I feel like stabbing something, and before you know it, they're on their way to the only other town in the whole Caribbean...Port Royal! On her way, she collects Elizabeth and her clothing (or both, judging by the "best line,") and they go back to Tortuga. Sue hates Jack in a firey way but then falls for him, and we spend 32 chapters wondering if they will ever have sex (they won't; Sue's not ready for "it"). There's more gratuitous Giselle abuse, where the Sue tells her to "keep off her man" or something, although supposedly Sue and Jack are having to pretend to be a couple at that point...you know. Because at some point Sue and Jack always have to pretend to be a couple so we can get contrived kissing in without actually having a relationship. Cutler Beckett is revealed to be alive, but is somehow a pirate and no one really cares anyway. There's some utter nonsense about finding the Fountain of Youth in Calypso's cave in the Mediterranean (you know, the way Hiawatha searched for the Golden Fleece in Asgard). Then there's a rape attempt, pathetic in both the pirate's and the author's execution of it, and of course Jack saves her blah blah hurtcomfortcakes. The plot kicks in at some point, or at least I assume that it does, because I skimmed the first ten chapters and couldn't find a single strong narrative to save my life.

NOTES: Goddamit, Suethors. For the last time:

Wench.
Does.
Not.
Mean.
Whore!

“Wench” is an uncultured term for woman, but it still means woman. If you say you are not a wench, then that means you are a MAN. At first, it was amusing to see this stupid error, but after the fourth or fifth time, it’s starting to wear thin.



The Sue is full of herself

Disclaimer: I don't own POTC, sadly. Oh, don’t be sad. That’s the best part of this whole story!

I closed my eyes and breathed out slowly in frustration. “What’s the matter? Are ye scared ye lil’ wench?” the drunken pirate leered. My eyes snapped open with renewed anger. “No,” I hissed as I drew out my white pistol and pointed it to his head. “I’m trying to convince myself why I shouldn’t kill you. The funny thing is, I found no reason.” This poor excuse for a man had been bugging me for weeks, and this last pervert move of his was the last straw. The bar went silent and the only sound was of the drunk breathing heavily. “Give me a reason why I shouldn’t pull the trigger, I beg you. Maybe it’ll save your pathetic life,” I growled as I shoved the pistol’s barrel between his eyes. He slipped from the stool he was sitting on and fell to the floor, passing out as soon as his lumpy body made contact with the dirty floor. I scrunched my nose in disgust and looked over at the other pirates, now most of them were sober (thanks to me) and said “Anyone else wants to try?” daring them to oppose me. It’s good to know that you’re keeping things in perspective. However everyone turned their attention to their rum mugs or bottles. I put away the pistol and strode outside.

Tortuga’s cold air welcomed me as I hurried out to the docks. ‘Who am I?’ you might ask. I’m no one special That’s not what the author thinks!; a twenty seven year old from Tortuga, the name’s Pia (pronounced as Pee-ya), Pia Sterlin. Is that surname phonetic or do you just fail at spelling? Probably you have a lot of questions like ‘Is your mother one of the wenches?’ or ‘Are you a wench?’ or ‘Are you a pirate?’ or ‘Do you know the Jack Sparrow?’ The answers are yes, no So, this is slash?, yes and yes. I know Jack Sparrow quite well; we were friends when we were little kids. How is that possible with a 13 to 15 year age gap?

Think of the devil and he appears. Davy Jones? Well, not exactly, he wasn’t here, but his ship was. The Black Pearl and all her beauty was floating gracefully. “Ah, so the infamous Captain Sparrow is in town,” I murmured to myself. I sat down on a barrel, making myself comfortable in my worn-out brown pants, white shirt and brown boots “Huh, I just noticed I had clothing on!”, and preparing to wait for him.

He always slept on his ship. The mutiny that Barbossa carried on him, twice, had left quite an impact. Not long after my train of thought ran out Oh, that happened back in paragraph one., a figure walked slowly towards the ship. His dread locked hair, brown coat and tricorn hat revealed him to be the man I was waiting for.

“Well, well, well. Look at what the tide washed in,” I said as I stood up. His back stiffened, probably because he didn’t recognize my voice. He turned slowly and frowned at me. “Do I know you?” he asked after five minutes of trying to remember me. So Jack just stared at her like a slack-jawed idiot for five minutes? “Of course you do, Jackie,” I said using the nick name I used to call him when we were kids. He stared at me in surprise. “Pia?” he asked. “The one and only except for my 10,000 identical twin sisters at the Pit.”

“What are you doing here? I mean, what do you want?” I smirked as I jammed my hands in my pockets and walked slowly towards him. “Do I detect a trickle of fear?” No, but you would detect a trickle of blood if this were any other pirate. “What, you mean I’m afraid of you? Of course not! Why should I-” “Stop acting Jack, you know what I want,” I said, no longer smiling or smirking. “Really love, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” “Oh really, why let me remind you. You owe me 300 doubloons.” “Not really, you see, we had agreed that you were going to give me your money, the doubloons, and you were to work on me ship,” “Exactly. The funny thing is, when I searched for you the next morning, you were gone,” “But seeing as you found work on another ship, that doesn’t matter, eh?” (pronounced as a/ey) Yeah, thanks, we’re not stupid. he said flashing his sly grin. “However,” I pressed on “You never honoured your end of the bargain,” “Jack Sparrow!” We looked towards the voice’s owner and saw a blonde in a tight dress striding over towards Jack.

A look of panic crossed his face as he turned towards me and quickly said “You’re hired, as of now,” as he grabbed a rope and swung over on board. “I’ll be back in a minute, if you dare leave without me…you’ll pay for it,” Ah, Sues and their megalomania. I said and ran past the angry blonde to the room I had rented for the night to grab my possessions; which consisted of a sword, the pistol’s ammunition, 2 pants, 3 shirts, an extra pair of boots, underwear and the pistol that I was carrying. I shoved everything into a bag and ran to the docks.

And there it was; the Black Pearl and its magnificent glory. Apparently, the woman had gone away. “Oy, Sparrow,” I said loudly as he appeared at the wooden railings. “Oh, there you are,” he said as he swung a rope over to me. He smiled, thinking that he probably had put me in a fix, however I just smiled back and said “You might want to move out of the way Captain,” I grabbed the rope and swung over to the ship as I landed right next to him.

“My room? Or cabin, whatever it’s called.” It’s called a dirty hammock down below, Princess. He rubbed his chin in mock concentration and said “Well, at the moment we only have 2 rooms available, the crews’ and me cabin. I can set up a hammock for you in my cabin, if you’d like, Oh, please, Jack, don’t encourage her. or where the rest of the crew stays, so take your pick,” “Oh, your cabin would be nice, I think. But I wonder, where would you sleep?” “In my bed, love. You could sleep in the hammock I’ll set up for you, or in my bed, you know that would be a good idea,” “Nice try Sparrow,” “It’s Captain. I suspect this fic was written to hit every point on the PotC litmus tests. So you wanna go to the cabin, darlin’?” “You left me no choice,” I muttered. “I’m Captain Jack Sparrow, mate,” he said as he flashed a grin.

This is what Pia's gun looks like:
[IMG].com/albums/gg120/Belekina/Medieval_Gifts_Three_Barrell_Revol_.jpg[/IMG] Nice link, Suethor. You know, you could have avoided all of this by just describing the pistol in a clear and detailed way. I know, I know, you can't be bothered. It's okay; I didn't expect it, anyway.


Sue kicks Jack out of his own cabin

He spent the rest of the night showing me where everything was stored, how his ship worked and the name of each crew member. One thing that surprised me was that there was no bosun. In every other ship, a bosun was always present, and most of them were rather cruel. I’m proud to say that I never was whipped for ‘neglecting my duties’. You, proud? No.

My job was to take care of the sails ALL of them? *snort*, mend any tears and to make sure that they were not tied too tight or too lose and to watch out in the crow’s nest. In other words, my job mostly consisted of climbing ropes. But that didn’t bother me for I had had a lot of practice.

“So where are we heading for, Captain?” I asked, hanging upside down. “Port Royal,” he said looking at me strangely, probably because I was hanging upside down. “Alright,” I said as I climbed my way up to the crow’s nest.

The view was spectacular. The sun sparkled over the glittering blue sea casting everything into a magical light. Time flew by and I saw land in front of us sooner than I expected. “Land ho!” I shouted, alerting everyone that we were nearing our destination.

A few seconds later, one of the crew, Jack said was called Ragetti, climbed half-way up the rope ladder and said “The Captain wants to talk to you.” He started to climb down slowly, thinking that I was going to use the ladder. However I climbed out of the crow’s nest grabbed a rope and swung down on deck. Can’t miss an opportunity to showcase how special I am!

“Hey Gibbs,” I said as he passed by, carrying some empty bottles of rum. “Aye?” he said. “Where’s Jack?” “In his cabin plotting something probably.” He replied. “Thanks,” and with that I hurried to Jack’s cabin. I knocked on his door and leaned on the door frame.

“You asked for me?” I said as I put my hand on my hip. “Come in,” he said not looking up from his maps and compass. He closed the compass, shook it and muttered “I know what I want,” and opened it again. “Damn,” he said and closed it again as he turned to me. “So, how do you like your stay on the Pearl?” he said grinning at me. I narrowed my eyes, “Am I to understand that you’re leaving me at Port Royal?” “No. Not for now anyway. We’re going to recruit one of our friends. And I need you to go get her once we reach the port.” “How?” “Easy. You dress as rich lass, go to her home and tell her to come with you.” And Elizabeth Swann will have no choice but to comply! “Sorry to burst your bubble, but I don’t have any dresses.” “Who said anything about owning dresses, darlin’,” he said as he picked up a yellow lacy dress. It was Jack’s favorite, though the waistline pinched him a little.

“Elizabeth forgot it here last time she visited the Pearl. Um, if it’s yellow and lacy, it’s her wedding dress. And she just...forgot it? She wouldn’t mind if you borrowed it. Just in case Sue decides to marry Will, too! Oh and there’s matching shoes with heels, jewelry, make up and a corset.

Elizabeth came aboard the Black Pearl with a personal make-up kit? That ought to do the trick,” “I am not putting on a corset,” I said looking at the deadly piece of clothing as if it would attack me. “You’re not putting it on, at the moment, but you will in the near future. So, you got the strategy?” I sat down on his bed and said, “Hold on a minute. There are just some tiny problems. 1. I don’t know where this girl’s house is. 2. I don’t know what to tell her. 3. I don’t know how to put on a corset. 4. I don’t know what exactly is going on.” Right there with you.

“We’ll fix those. You find her by walking all the way to the main street, turn round in the third left side street and knock on the first door. If you get lost, ask for Elizabeth Turner’s house. When you find her tell her that you have a pearl for sale. She’s Will Turner’s wife. And-I don’t think I’ll tell you what’s going on just yet, darlin’. And if you don’t know how to put a corset, why I’ll be more than happy to help you love,” I sneered and said “Thank you, but no thank you. Now if it pleases you, I need to change in that stupid dress so, get-out,” I said as I got up and pointed to the door. “Hmm, don’t think I will, this is my cabin, after all. Ow, what was that for?” he said frowning and rubbing the back of his head where I had smacked him. “For being a complete asshole and if I’m not mistaken you’re the one who offered me your cabin. Now, OUT!” Mary Sue: treating Jack Sparrow like a golden retriever since 2003!

He smirked as he walked towards the door while putting on his famous hat. Just as he was about to go out, he turned, winked and closed the door. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “And they say teenage boys are troublesome,” I know! Clearly, it’s teenaged girls who are the real menace. I muttered to myself as I walked towards the door and put my ear to its wood. I held my breath and heard someone breathing. I rolled my eyes as I opened the door to find-“What the hell are you eavesdropping for Jack?” I said as he jumped in shock. He grinned awkwardly and with many hand-gestures said “I was making sure that you didn’t trip because of those heels love, knowing you’re not familiar with them and all. You know, you could break your neck or something,” he said trying to be serious.

I sighed and said “Jack, I walk and swing on ropes more than half my time. Rope swinging, frilly yellow dress…Jane Porter, is that you? Walking in heels would be nothing compared to that.” He shrugged and said “If you need me, just give me a call,” and with another of his suggestive winks he walked towards the helm. I shook my head as I closed the door.

Alright, so I know what most of you are thinking. ‘THE Jack Sparrow wanted you and you rebuffed him?’ If that’s what most people are thinking then I’m proud to be the exception to the rule. Let’s just say that Jack and I have a-history together. And I’m not eager to relive it. You’ll understand in the future. No, I have resigned myself to never understanding the lame, overused, and patently see-through plot device of scorning the man who is the sole reason for your little Suey existence.

I quickly removed my pants, shirt and boots and put on the thin under dress that Jack had provided me with. I spent at least half an hour struggling to put the corset on. But after many pathetic attempts and swear words, I managed to put it on, somehow. So I put on the dress quickly, tamed my hair a little bit and sat down to do my make up. Before I put on the killer-heels I decided to take a look around Jack’s cabin, where he kept his maps and notes, to be more precise.

There were a couple of maps, some parchment, quills and ink. “So what should we do incase the Captain decides to leave us behind again?” I smirked to myself. I took the most important-looking map, rolled it and tied it with a piece of cloth to my thigh. So…your plan is to go around Port Royal making crinkly sounds with each step? “Now if Captain Jack decides to deceive me he’ll sorely regret it,” I muttered to myself.

Before I decided to put on my shoes, I grabbed a small dagger and tied it to my inner arm, where it was hidden among the laces and pocketed some money. Introducing: the self-pickpocketing dagger! I also went to check if we had made port and, to my dismay, we had. So I put on my shoes and climbed over to the lowered boat.

“Have a nice trip your majesty,” Ragetti mocked as his friend, Pintel, started to laugh. I just glared upwards and gave them both the middle finger as I began rowing towards Port Royal.


Stupidity abounds

“It’s a shilling to leave your boat at the port and to register your name in this,” he said as he opened the book. “Please sir, I don’t have any money. I just came to get a distant cousin of my husband’s to leave on that merchant ship,” I said as I pointed to the colourless (flagless) Black Pearl. Who the hell mistakes the Black Pearl for a merchant vessel, "colorless" or not? “It seems like a pirate ship to me,” he said icily. “It looks a bit shabby next to the other merchant ships, I know. Oh, yeah, Jack Sparrow is going to LOVE being this girl’s soulmate. But the Captain isn’t very rich. I really have no money. I just have 3 shillings which I intend to buy a pair of pants and a shirt for my husband. I want him to die well clothed and happy since he’s sailed around naked the whole time!,” I said in a mock desperate voice as I pretended to brush a tear. The harbormaster wondered who this strange woman was and why she kept brushing her tear ducts. I looked at his face; he was dubious so I pretended to stifle a sob.

That did the trick, he closed the book and said “Welcome to Port Royal Mrs. Smith,” and he walked away. I nodded my head slightly and, smirking to myself inwardly Is there a single moment in this entire fic where you're not pleased with yourself?!, set out following Jack’s directions.

I walked all the way to the main street, third left Side Street, the first house. I found Elizabeth’s house alright. And I also bumped into a man dressed in the Royal Navy’s uniform. He seemed to be in a very bad mood as he said “Watch where you’re going,” without even looking at me. I nearly responded back, but I remembered that a normal respectable lady *cough cough* wouldn’t retort so I bit my tongue and settled myself by glaring at his retreating figure. You sure showed him! I walked up to the house and knocked.

A young woman, about my age with golden brown wavy hair and brown eyes, opened the door and frowned at me. “Is that my dress?” she asked. Alright, not quite according to plan.

I rolled my eyes and said “Mrs Turner, I just came to tell you that I have a pearl for sale.” Her eyes widened in disbelief as she grabbed my arm and hauled me inside, slamming the door shut. I turned around, readying myself to give her a piece of my mind. Don’t do that, you won’t have any mind left! “Don’t make a fuss, the East India Trading Company is on my back and we don’t have to blow everything,” she whispered. “I got your back,” I whispered.

“I only have one favour to ask of you.” “Shoot away,” she replied. “Can I take a bath? We’re about to embark on a ship, and you know that this particular one is not very, hygienic.” Elizabeth nodded and took me to her bathroom as she hurried around her house packing and preparing.

In about half an hour I was ready and, once again, struggling with my corset, when Elizabeth strode in. “Bloody corset, just-won’t…fit!” I swore as I tugged on the strings and turned and twisted when suddenly I slipped and fell with an “Oomph.” Elizabeth chuckled as she helped me up. “Here, let me help you with it,” she said as she started to tug and pull at the string. “I can’t-breath! Damn corsets!” I cursed. Damn Elizabeth-impersonators! “You’ll get used to it. Eventually. It’s going to take me a while to settle some things. I hope you don’t mind waiting,” she said. “Sure, no problem. In fact I have to settle some things myself. I said as I tied the dagger to my inner arm thereby gashing your wrist open and hemorrhaging to death and map to my thigh. Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, went the map. “I’ll explain, someday,” I said as I noticed her inquiring look and slipped on the dress.

A couple of minutes later I was all dolled up (and hating it) and making my way to the nearest clothes shop where I bought some pants and shirts another pair of boots. I also bought 2 pieces of leather which I covered the palm of my hands with, so I wouldn’t get rope burns. (That is the palm of my hand was covered, excluding the fingers, and tied across the back of my hand with some thin rope and with a loop through my middle finger, also made of thin rope; palm-protectors). Is this relevant? At all? If I want to know what a palm protector looks like, I’ll look it up! What English class tells these Suethors that it’s acceptable to go plunking Wikipedia entries right in the middle of their stories?

Half an hour or so later we were rowing back to the Pearl. The first thing I did was storm to Jack’s cabin, threw him out Jack and Pia…they were made for each other. and changed back into my ‘normal’ clothes Would you like to mention "pants" or "underwear" a few more times, Suethor? I mean, it’s been at least a paragraph. and the underwear that I had sewn myself (note from author: ok, so if you haven’t noticed, Pia’s talking about modern bra’s and low rise panties. If you’re wondering how she managed to sew the bra; she cut out parts from corsets, if you know what I mean. I’ve made my own clothes before and I still don’t know what you mean. I decided to make her design her own underwear since I figured that wearing those old panties and corsets are uncomfortable, and staying without underwear around men {even though with clothes on} can be rather awkward. Oh, can it? I wouldn’t know, but thanks for sharing. Sorry about all the ramblings, just had to explain some things) and put the map back on his desk.

I laughed so hard at Elizabeth’s look when she was my underwear Miss Swann, I would like to take this time to apologize on behalf of fanfic writers everywhere. (we used Jack’s cabin as a changing room). “That’s-strange,” she said. “Yeah I know,” I laughed. We looked at the door as we heard Gibbs’ urgent shout of “All hands on board!” So I put on the glove like leather straps, belted my sword and pistol quickly and hopped outside putting on my left boot (I had already put on the right one).

“That’s a navy ship and-it’s flying the East India Trading Company flag!” Marty shouted, who was climbing the shrouds (those net like things). “East India? I thought they were busted at Shipwreck Island,” I muttered to myself as I climbed up the shroud and heaved myself in the crow’s nest.

Just then I heard someone puffing and panting and seeing as the navy had started to swing on the Pearl’s deck I took out my pistol, cocked it and pointed it at the climbing person’s face. Elizabeth’s face stared at me, unafraid. “I’m to take your post; Jack wants you down there,” she said as she jerked her head downwards. “What a coincidence!” squealed Pia. “I want Jack ‘down there’, too!”


We all knew it was coming

I didn’t dare to tell him that I had been torn when I heard that he had been sent to the Locker. “You mean you were a part of Jones’ crew?” he asked. “Aye,” I replied. “And you fought against us at the battle of Shipwreck Cove?” “No. He always kept me locked up in the brig during battles or fights. That's...rather handy to your plot. If you strain your memory hard enough, you’ll remember that when you were in the Dutchman’s brig, another barnacled person was locked up in front of you as well. That person was me,” I said. That person was a guy. But since you're "not a wench," maybe it was you! “How did you escape?” he asked. “How did ‘you’ escape? You gave me the idea.”

“And thank God that you did,” he murmured, thinking that I did not hear him. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow, inquiring an explanation in silence. He looked at me with an expression that clearly said ‘Oh shit’, and sighed. “What I mean is - I - well,” he stuttered NO HE DID NOT before sighing again. I looked at him waiting for an explanation and at that moment I noticed how close to each other we were sitting. "Jack, the floorboards are shrinking again!" "That's all right, darlin', it happens every Suefic." I looked away and swallowed, “Go on,” I prompted. “Will you give me another chance?” he whispered.

I don’t know what I was thinking but I know for sure that I stood up, or tried to. As soon as I put pressure on my injured leg, I wobbled and nearly fell over. In a flash, Jack was in front of me, steadying me. However, I grimaced as his hand closed over the wound in my arm. “Sorry,” he mumbled and moved his hand to my shoulder. “Please Pia, all I want is just one more chance to get in your 21st century underpants.”

“I’m afraid to Jack,” I whispered looking down. She's afraid to what, now? “Don’t be, I won’t hurt you,” he said as he put a finger under my chin and lifted my face towards his.

“I know you won’t hurt me physically, but emotionally…I’m not so sure.” I began. However I broke off when his lips brushed mine gently. To say that I was shocked would be an understatement. He removed his lips from mine and brushed away a lock of my hair. “I’m not saying that I’m perfect, because I know I’m not,” he said. “But please Pia, I’m begging you.” I stared at him with my mouth hanging wide open. This was not his normal behaviour. You don't say.

I sniffed twice trying to detect a smell of rum or alcohol or a hint that he was drunk, but I found none. He was perfectly sober. “Did you hit your head?” I asked. He looked at me strangely and said “No, why?” “You’re not being the usual Captain Jack Sparrow that I know,” I replied. A small smile crept on his face. “That’s because at the moment I’m just Jack.” And canon cried itself to sleep. I smiled for a second and looked away.

“Pia, look at me,” he said softly. My eyes rested on his chocolate brown ones and I melted inside. “You haven’t answered my question, darlin'. Will you give me another chance?” He's begged this girl THREE TIMES? I looked at his hopeful brown eyes, contemplating my answer. But deep down I knew what my answer was going to be like. I couldn’t deny it, and as stupid and foolish as it sounded, I wanted him. I didn’t trust myself to speak. Because I knew that if I opened my mouth I would either remain silent or produce some incoherent sound, and that would have been very embarrassing. So I contented myself with just nodding my head.

A smile broke out on his face and his lips found mine once again. This time I did not hesitate, but kissed him back. His tongue glided along my bottom lip and I gasped as his right arm wrapped around my waist and his left hand rubbed my back gently. His tongue brushed against mine and he smirked as he felt my shock. ‘You cheated,’ I wanted to say. However, I already knew how he would reply, ‘Pirate.’ Because if there's one thing Jack Sparrow is, it's predictable. I was surprised to find that one of my hands was wrapped around him and the other was on the back of his head. We fought for dominance, but we had to quit the ‘battle’ as we stopped for air.

I laid my head on his chest as his embrace around me tightened. “I’m not going to let go of you that easily this time, love,” he whispered as he kissed the top of my head. I smiled and thought ‘I hope you’re not. Because I’m not strong enough for emotional pain.’ “Come on. Let’s sit down,” he said as he helped me to sit on the patch of sand. He sat beside me and his hand snaked around my waist, bringing me closer to him.

He kissed the top of my shoulder and moved to my neck, planting kisses along the way. He pulled me on his lap and continued kissing my neck as his arms encircled my abdomen. To say that I wasn’t enjoying the attention would be a lie but I wasn’t ready for ‘it’ yet. You might ask ‘But he hasn’t done anything yet.’ Trust me, I knew what was going through his mind. “Jack, stop,” I said. He groaned and said “Why? You know you’re enjoying it.” “I’m not ready for it yet,” I replied as he pouted. 'Great, now I’ll have to deal with a sulking Jack.’ You...kind of deserve that, seeing as how you led him on.

Sorry for all the fluff, I really hope you like it. So Pia and Jack are together, but for how long? Well, heave_ho-ers? How long do you think?