“It’s O.K., love. It was an accident.” Barbossa whispered into Jack’s ear. Part 1/2

[p0wdermonkey]

TITLE: Blessed Curse
CULPRIT: Yamirenamon

MAJOR, MAJOR WARNING!  Jack/Barbossa mpreg.  You heard me.  Leading to Davy/Jack non-con tentacle sex.  Which ought to make further warnings redundant, but I’m rating this one NC-170 because really, in a perfect world, no-one should be reading shit like this.  The offences against English syntax and

Comments

[justawench]

I always thought vomiting was more of a "Blergh." :D

I have to admit, "hermaphrodite" is a better mpreg explanation than all the ass-babies I've seen. One has to wonder how Jack missed noticing that he has an extra opening, though...

What is up with these people being so horrified at someone vomiting? Surely with the lack of modern medicine or even modern food storage and preparation, puking must have been a regular occurance.

“It be OK, love. We’ll be a-figurin all this out, I promise ye, me fluffy bunnikins. Aarrrr!” *snort!*

[p0wdermonkey]

Yeah, they really worry about vomiting. In part 2 Jack even feels bad about the bucket he pukes in. Poor bucket.

Hermaphrodite Jack could be a neat idea if only there was something to justify and develop it. Sadly, it gets substituted by an even worse explanation in part 2.

[justawench]

PS - use <> around img src="pic address" to get the pic to show up. Pic address being of course the address you find when you right click on the pic in the userinfo and go to Properties.

[p0wdermonkey]

It worked! Thank you!

[p0wdermonkey]

It's good to know I'm not the only one compelled to watch the awfulness unfold.

He'd just be too busy playing around with the near-infinite sexual possibilities.
Exactly! Hermaphrojack would have a whale of a time! Surely, somebody must have written that by now.

It's not "argh"; it's "aughh".

Next - and final - installment is posted. Hoping to wash this fic out of my hair and get on with something more productive. And less disturbing.

[justawench]

As if Jack could have gone around his whole life with a perfectly good sexable orifice and NEVER NOTICE. - This is truly the crux of the whole problem.

[sixpences]

Oh my poor innocent brain... gotta love the whole 'we have run out of rum- resort to random sex!' plot setup though, fuel for a thousand PotC PWPs...

[p0wdermonkey]

I love "we forgot the rum". It leaves so much unanswered, and just sets the seal on the feeling that this is going to be one hell of a bad fic.

How far from shore would Jack get before he noticed? How many navy frigates would it take to stop him turning back? How much battle damage would the Pearl have to sustain to end up weeks away from land? Who did Gibbs have to shag to get through his withdrawal?

[naotalba]

We’ll be a-figurin all this out, I promise ye, me fluffy bunnikins. Aarrrr!

You win the internet. We will be calling later to arrange delivery.

[p0wdermonkey]

Thanks! If I'm out, just leave it in the shed.

[geekmama]

I have to admire your perseverance and patience in studying this amazing work closely enough to produce your analysis and commentary. You deserve a medal.

[p0wdermonkey]

No. Having enough sense and restraint to step back from the fic and get on with something worthwhile - THAT would merit a medal.

But I think doing this has released me from the curse.