Lockets and diaries and black velvet dresses, these are a few of Sue's favourite things

[mythtaken]

I keep meaning to contribute more to this community and then I never do because I'm really a terribly lazy person. So, to assuage my guilt, I've pulled out all the stops for this post and in addition to the standard Mary Sue report I have a couple of extra things for you.

1. Two links to things you may find interesting. The first is a recent

Comments

[teh_farmer]

Wow! I'm impressed! ...Or not. ;)

Get away, a Sue without a clue?
It seems the poem got to you! Hehe!

But I love your Bad!fic-Radio!! This is really ingenious!

[mythtaken]

But I love your Bad!fic-Radio!! This is really ingenious!

That's most kind of you! Though I must confess I got the idea from here.

[teh_farmer]

Well, ok. But it's still great!

Thanks so much for sporking!

[bizarreoptimism]

on the one hand Captain Jack Sparrow never falls in love and anyway women are for "pleasurable uses" only (even though she won't have sex with him)

I always thought that the fact that Jack didn't rape Elizabeth when they were marooned (not to mention the fact that Jack risked being discovered by rescuing Elizabeth from drowning; AND the fact that he let Anamaria come on board the Interceptor in a time period when many men would have not) was inarguable proof that he sees women not as objects only good for "pleasurable uses," but as people. Stupid, stupid Suethors.

Anna nodded and went to get his pot of rum. When she came back she place the rum on the table and began to walk off. She felt him grasp her arse. Tell me people, am I being merely naive if I consider this to be somewhat out of character for Jack?No, you're not being naive. It is out of character. Like I said, Jack saw women as PEOPLE. Look at it THIS way ... how many 18th century men would have allowed TWO of their prostitutes to come up and slap them in the face in public

[mythtaken]

You know, one of the best antidotes to reading bad fan fiction - and all its attendant frustrations - is reading comments from people such as your good self, for you are sane and rational and wise.

All the points you make about Jack's attitude to women were going through my head as I was reviewing this fic, but the more I read, the more I began to doubt them. Was I in fact seeing in Jack only what I wanted to see? Was there an element of misogyny in him I was simply choosing to ignore? Was I making too much of the fact that the closest he got to inappropriate touching in PotC was tentatively putting his arm round Elizabeth as they sat marooned and drunk on a sandbar, and this only after they'd danced around and around like fools and collapsed and she'd snuggled against his chest? Or possibly that the bit of leering he indulged in while she returned his effects to him was not simply for the benefit of pissing off Norrington? But no. You have reassured me. For which I thank you

[araeph]

Like I said, Jack saw women as PEOPLE.

Too bad the women writing him only seem to see Jack as a lust object.

As many Suefics as I've seen, I still cringe every time his personality gets tampered with. Especially when he sexually harasses someone. That is one of my pet PotC peeves. I think it actually used to happen more often in PotC fanfic. There was this one I came across where Jack was forced to rape Will Turner and...well. The less said about it, the better.

[araeph]

I quite enjoyed your "epic" plot summary. :) It allowed me to savor every hilariously bad twist and turn of the Suefic without having to read all of those chapters myself. I hope you do more reporting!

If there was a Heave_Ho drinking game, we'd definitely all be taking a massive swig now.

A Heave_Ho drinking game, eh? Hmmm...

*muses to herself*

[mythtaken]

I quite enjoyed your "epic" plot summary. :) It allowed me to savor every hilariously bad twist and turn of the Suefic without having to read all of those chapters myself.

Thanks! I had fun writing it, which is why I got a bit carried away and described the whole thing. (I admit to having some small respect for the author because it was her first story and she had the patience to actually finish it.)

[wolfychan]

That's it, I am officialy inspired. I'm putting up a heave_ho drinking game tomorrow.

[maran_z]

Awesome report; however did you manage to get through 18 chapters?

"pleasantly slim"

As opposed to pleasantly plump, I suppose.

"they" put him in charge after "they" fired Mr Brown for sleeping on the job (Who this all-powerful "they" are is unclear and never fully explained).

WTF?

‘I’m free! I have freedom!’ Well, only in the sense that you're free of employment and indoor living.

*sniggers*

[mythtaken]

Awesome report; however did you manage to get through 18 chapters?

Like our Sue I'm currently unemployed, and consequently find myself with far too much time on my hands. However, unlike our Sue, no amount of sighing and wistful staring out of windows and dwelling on my tragic past has caused anyone - let alone a pirate resembling Johnny Depp - to come and whisk me off to romance and adventure, and I'm beginning to think these stories are pure fiction!