Square guy visits round city (closed to Kerai)
It's almost one o'clock and I am just at Kerai's door. I had to work this morning, not that I couldn't have changed it. I try not to do that simply because I can, and one is a good time. We will have enough time to walk about in Minas Tirith and go to dinner, regardless of whether or not Kerai would like to eat in the program or not. I've had a bit of lunch but I'm rather nervous about this whole thing. What if Kerai finds the city old and dull? It is old, after all, and nothing like what she must be used to. I wonder if there are any places she knows in programs and if she'd show me. I must remember to ask.
I've thought so much about this, about Kerai, and about Tabitha as well. I still do not know how I feel about Tabitha, as the more I think about it the less sense it makes. With Kerai it is obvious--I like her. She is not the most beautiful of ladies but it does not matter because of her wit, her talent, and simply the way she is. Tabitha... how could I have loved her the first time I met her? She is so beautiful and I feel very strange around her. If it was just want... But I have seen other very beautiful ladies and not felt such desire. I want her, I am curious about her, and I know she does not love me. What does she want from me when she could have anyone? I asked Kerai and she spoke from her heart and good sense, also. My head tells me that Kerai is far better for me and my heart just doesn't know. I still am not certain that I am what is best for Kerai and worry that I will hurt her more than she has already been hurt, which she certainly does not need.
Today is something different. If nothing else, I go with a friend to the holosuite and we have dinner after. That is enough. So why am I so nervous? I'm such a fool sometimes, but at least I can laugh at myself for it. Now it's time to knock on her door.
I've thought so much about this, about Kerai, and about Tabitha as well. I still do not know how I feel about Tabitha, as the more I think about it the less sense it makes. With Kerai it is obvious--I like her. She is not the most beautiful of ladies but it does not matter because of her wit, her talent, and simply the way she is. Tabitha... how could I have loved her the first time I met her? She is so beautiful and I feel very strange around her. If it was just want... But I have seen other very beautiful ladies and not felt such desire. I want her, I am curious about her, and I know she does not love me. What does she want from me when she could have anyone? I asked Kerai and she spoke from her heart and good sense, also. My head tells me that Kerai is far better for me and my heart just doesn't know. I still am not certain that I am what is best for Kerai and worry that I will hurt her more than she has already been hurt, which she certainly does not need.
Today is something different. If nothing else, I go with a friend to the holosuite and we have dinner after. That is enough. So why am I so nervous? I'm such a fool sometimes, but at least I can laugh at myself for it. Now it's time to knock on her door.