ohai. guess who is fail. i is fail.
yea i know. so here's probably what you're all thinking: "no one cares, stfu, estee, gtfo. you haven't been here for realzies for a year. you fell way behind on some amazing fanfics. your RPs died and you fell out of touch with basically your whole rp family. you've stopped writing creatively. you keep saying you'll do things but don't, like makeover your journal and get new userpics and update on a zillion things. blah blah blah we hate you GO AWAYYYY. *insert door slam in my face here* "
i'm sorry. i really am. and now that i have a brain full of mush that won't retain much and still has 3 final projects to do, i've decided to post before i forget and feel worse that i seem to have dropped off the face of the planet.
i guess i can't promise to do anything. especially because no one seems to give two shits that i'm here or not (and i'm not blaming anyone for that, this post isn't out to get you all - it's basically to rant at myself). so i guess if you missed me, just...post a reply? anything really. legit. i don't care. one word, yell, cry, get excited, whatever. because i feel like i shouldn't be on livejournal anymore. if i go on, i take and don't give back. not that i did much before, but still. at least i used to try.
i want to try to post every day or so, just something to show i really do care about this site and the friends i have (or at least used to have) and my communities and twilight fandom. might just be one line, or a poem or something. maybe even a photo. i don't really know. unless you all don't like that idea and think it's stupid and don't want to be getting those notifications or the wasted space on your friends pages. then maybe i'll just....drop off the face of the earth in terms of lj for good?
i mean as of the 10th i should theoretically be able to get on more often (prom was this past weekend, final projects will be done by then, laptop will be returned and i graduate a two weeks later). but i feel like nothing i do or say matters to all of you, so i don't want to be a pest.
*headdesk* i don't know. i'm tired. and upset with myself. and will stop ranting and taking up more space with my worrying about taking up space.
brainstrain = very yes.
peace out, cub scouts.
i'm sorry. i really am. and now that i have a brain full of mush that won't retain much and still has 3 final projects to do, i've decided to post before i forget and feel worse that i seem to have dropped off the face of the planet.
i guess i can't promise to do anything. especially because no one seems to give two shits that i'm here or not (and i'm not blaming anyone for that, this post isn't out to get you all - it's basically to rant at myself). so i guess if you missed me, just...post a reply? anything really. legit. i don't care. one word, yell, cry, get excited, whatever. because i feel like i shouldn't be on livejournal anymore. if i go on, i take and don't give back. not that i did much before, but still. at least i used to try.
i want to try to post every day or so, just something to show i really do care about this site and the friends i have (or at least used to have) and my communities and twilight fandom. might just be one line, or a poem or something. maybe even a photo. i don't really know. unless you all don't like that idea and think it's stupid and don't want to be getting those notifications or the wasted space on your friends pages. then maybe i'll just....drop off the face of the earth in terms of lj for good?
i mean as of the 10th i should theoretically be able to get on more often (prom was this past weekend, final projects will be done by then, laptop will be returned and i graduate a two weeks later). but i feel like nothing i do or say matters to all of you, so i don't want to be a pest.
*headdesk* i don't know. i'm tired. and upset with myself. and will stop ranting and taking up more space with my worrying about taking up space.
brainstrain = very yes.
peace out, cub scouts.