no one knows what it's like

[head_noise]

to live with what i have to live with.
to feel what i have to feel.
to be consumed by what consumes me.

eyes always stare into mine.
but they never can take the time to see what i see.
then maybe..
just maybe..
if they did........

they'd see a stupid heart, that's just looking for some peace.
a heart that bleeds for everything and everyone.
they'd see something i never asked for.
but got anyways.

i never asked for it.
i never fucking asked for it.
all those times i begged god, in fucking vain, to take it away.
to not give me this fucking heart..
to rip it from my chest, and give me nothing.

because i'd rather feel nothing.
i'd rather not have something beating inside of me.
i'd rather hate, then fucking love.
i'd rather hurt, then be fucking hurt.
i'd rather laugh, then be the one who cries.

i'd rather be numb.
just numb.
to everyone and everything.

then maybe everything would stop.
maybe everything would die.
and maybe, then, the noise will finally, for fucking once...
just end.