ugh ) :
honestly...today literally sucked ass. like...no joke. i cant take it anymore!!! i am sick & tired of the people in school i have to deal with day in & day out. i am sick of living here with assholes. i am sick of just living in general. like...i thought today was gonna be a good day, but no, that never happens with me. nope. never. it sucks. i hate it. & with tomorrow being Valentine's Day, that doesn't make life any easier. & PSSA's start tomorrow...oh joy? most of the time i do feel like i am better off dead. i think life would be better, but no...i am gonna get multiple comments saying "death is not the answer" i dont want to fucking hear it. i really dont. so if you are gonna tell me that....then dont comment.
like my parents (mainly my sucky ass father) are just being incomplete ASSHOLES! one of these days i am gonna shoot them both to get over this. like today...i was talkingto Matt about the Stu Co New York trip & my dad goes "you are limited to the trips you go on this year" & i am like "wtf? that doesn't make any sense! you said i wasn't allowed to go last year because of the fucking Myrtle Beach trip! THAT'S WHY I DIDNT FUCKING GO LAST YEAR COCK! the band trip this year is like $150. so suck on that" & he goes "well there is still a trip..." "yeah that i dont want you to go on with us, i dont want to see you there. see, YOU are the reason why i want to go to the University of Texas in Austin. I WANT THE HELL AWAY FROM YOU! I CANT WAIT TILL FUCKING GRADUATION! I AM SOO OUTTA HERE! LIKE BE LUCKY IF I GET ACCEPTED & EVEN COME BACK TO SEE YOU! I HATE YOU SOO GOD DAMN MUCH! I LITERALLY DO! I CANT FUCKING STAND LIVING HERE WITH YOU ALWAYS BEING AN ASSHOLE! IF YOU USED YOUR MONEY FOR MORE WISE THINGS & NOT SMOKING, WE'D HAVE FUCKING MONEY TO DO THINGS. BUT NO, ALL THE MONEY WE HAVE EVER HAD HAS GONE INTO YOU FUCKING SMOKING. FUCK YOU I HATE YOU!"
& yes i said that. i cant fucking take this anymore. i sadiuf6aw e5frtasiudfgowetasoid;fga8ef GOD FUCKING DAMNIT I HATE THE GOD DAMNED MOTHER FUCKING WORLD RIGHT NOW! I THINK I WANT TO MAKE AN ATOMIC BOMB & DROP IT ON THIS FUCKING HOUSE WHILE EVERYONE IS IN IT!
like today isn't getting better...
maybe i should move with my cousin.................i'd be outta this whole entire state & live with him in Maryland, where i know his family loves me because everytime he is at my Aunt's house down the street, i pretty much live there. his family knows what goes on here! they want me to move with them during the summer which doesn't sound half bad. his sister is in Texas right now & wont be coming back till after i leave there houuse if i were to move in. whatever.
i guess i'll update later :\
♥ AshRae ):