On The Road - Part 2
Title: On The Road - Part 2
Pairing: Noel/Rich, Noel/Julian
Rating: NC-17 (Don’t really know what else to make it) once again, maybe a bit more PG-13, eh.
Word Count: 2,249~
Summary: A night of thoughts and unwanted company, Julian lay awake and brooded over the proceedings of the recent hours’ happenings only to wake up and have Noel still not understanding.
Warnings: Angst. A tad of violence, not really.
Disclaimer: I do not own Julian Barratt, Noel Fielding, Rich Fulcher or anyone else mentioned in this fic or The Mighty Boosh.
A/N: This is the sad excuse for a second part to a one-shot that requested more of and thus this is what my typing hands and depressing mind came up with. Not much really happens but I don’t really know where this is going to end up if it ends up anywhere. This might be the last part of this or there may be one more depending on if I can muster up enough small story to keep it going a tad more. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the first part, always appreciated.
( Part 1 )
On The Road - Part 2
Not wanting to be anywhere near Noel or human contact that night, Julian slept in the motor home that they were currently using as a tour bus. He lay on the small bed that was pulled out from the wall, tossing to his side and bunching the sheet that had previously been tangled awkwardly through his still corduroy covered legs. He huffed and screwed his eyes tighter, as if it would send him off to sleep any easier or make the night less dreary. Despite how cold it may have been outside, the bus was incredibly hot and the air was thick and humid, his face had become coated in a glistening layer of sweat and his clothes stuck to him uncomfortably yet he refused to remove them; shoes as well.
He hadn't been able to push the memory of how cruel he had been to Noel from his thoughts. In the five hours that had passed it had been the only thing on his mind, switching from emotions of hatred and resentment to sadness and pity - for himself and Noel. On different circumstances of course. Fear had shown its face in these past hours, fear always had a way of making an appearance in the most crucial of times. Fear for what he was doing to Noel; what Noel was doing to him and for what Noel was doing to himself, fear for Rich - that he might get hurt. No, Rich was going to get hurt. That was the inevitable. Whether Rich was going to be forefront and apparent about it when it hit him was something that was up to him to decide but it was going to happen, hopefully he already knew this.
Fear of losing Noel.
That was the most obvious one, the one that made his heart wretch the hardest. Made it twist inside his chest and pull at thoughts and feelings that were always locked away so that not even he himself could get to them or even be aware that they existed.
He didn't want to lose Noel and he knew for a fact that Noel didn't want to lose him. Or rather, couldn't lose him. Being someone's all was like being the only pencil to ever be coloured with and to have that pencil be over used and run blunt was like having the world end right before your eyes. If only he had a sharpener then things would be alright again.
He didn't want to hurt Noel like he was or how he had those short few hours ago but it was only because he wanted him to feel what he felt. To want something so badly but not able to have it, to have it tease you and lead you on only to have it snatch itself away and find another suspecting victim, leaving the previous one attached and wanting more of what it could never have.
Only, he did have him. He owned him. Noel was his and his only. Sometimes he just forgot and all he needed was a little reminder here and there to set him straight again, pulling him back into line and what reality was really like. What was in front of him.
But then that was slightly hypercritical and Julian wanted nothing less than to be a hypocrite. He'd had Noel right in front of him the whole time, Noel was his reality, and yet he had ignored it and only chose to focus on its beauty when he knew it would hold the best advantage.
He'd thought about this way too hard and for way too long. Nothing seemed to make any sense anymore and he figured that the lateness of the night and his growing insomnia weren't helping him at all. Probably adding to his plight more than anything if anything at all.
Letting an arm fall over the edge of the lame excuse for a bed, dangling it down to just touch the floor, dancing his fingers over the dark wood. He wondered what Noel was doing right now. Then the sickening thought and mocking words in the back of his mind came forward to torment him:
Probably Rich.
He gagged slightly, not sure why, but swallowing the slight bile that arose and it burned on the way back down. If he was honest with himself he had no problem with Noel and Rich, just the fact that Noel was doing it to make Julian jealous. That's why Julian pushed him away, he had to stay in control and show Noel what happens when he pulls Julian the wrong way. And really, it wasn't fair on Rich and he knew Rich did have feelings for Noel. Although, they didn't come close to what Noel or Julian felt for each other. That was something that no one would ever understand, they weren't even sure they understood it themselves.
He reached under the bed and dragged the glass corner along the wood, feeling the liquid swish slightly inside its shapely container. Pulling the bottle of Jack Daniels out and into the open he lent over the side and sculled the few mouthfuls that were left. Feeling a bit more satisfied with himself he set the bottle back down and eventually found himself actually sleeping.
---
Awoken by the small movement of the bus and the sound of scuttling and voices, his eyebrows knitted tightly and he rubbed his eyes and forehead with his hand that had partly gone to sleep from lack of blood. Groaning and turning his head to the other side he heard Mike say something about it being bloody time that he woke up. He lifted his wrist as far as his arm would allow it to reach, seeing the time of ten-thirty-two ticking away by the second. Raising a heavy head and looking at his surroundings he realized that they were in fact still parked and it was his head that was swimming with lack of sleep and a slight hangover that was most certainly not welcome.
Mike and Dave were in the kitchen section of the bus making tea and what appeared to be Pot Noodle, the smell spreading throughout the vehicle and reaching Julian's nose. He groaned and sat up, head swinging and feeling heavy as a dull throb started its pounding within his skull. Seeing no one else but them in the bus he figured Noel and Rich were out somewhere already or still at the hotel that Julian had refused to set foot in.
Dave spoke up, as if reading his mind, "Noel's back at the hotel with Rich. Apparently they don't like what food we have here." He said with a dry laugh.
Did Dave know about them?
Shaking his head and rubbing his greased from sweat forehead once more, Julian smiled to himself knowingly.
Of course he knew. It was Dave.
Just then the door swung open and a shining Noel and surprisingly happy Rich stepped into the vehicle and Julian felt it tip slightly with the extra weight until the door closed and it balanced out again. Noel chirped and continued talking about whatever it was he and Rich were on topic with until he made eye contact with Julian, looking down at him to show a smug grin before leaning in between the two shorter men over at the counter.
"Well, what have we got here then?" he breathed in the smell of the chicken flavoured Pot Noodle, exhaling excitedly, "I'll have one too, thanks."
Mike looked up at him over his shoulder, "Thought you were too upper-class for noodles in a cardboard bowl?" he teased, poking out his tongue between teeth to prove this so.
Noel's mocked offense and then ruffled his younger brother's hair, knowing he didn't like it when he was treated like a child. He walked over and sat down on the slightly cushioned in-built chair by the window that allowed him to put his feet up on the table, Dave turned and signaled for him to take them off as he sat down with his cup of tea, sipping at it slowly. Julian looked between Noel and Rich, knowing he shouldn't ask the teasing question but couldn't refrain and faced back to Noel to do so.
"What'd you two get up to last night then?"
Noel whipped his head to Julian, face stern and appearing a tad callous. He could tell he'd brushed some nerves by asking that. Although, that was partly his intention.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Noel snapped, accusingly with his voice raising a touch in defensive distress.
Rich was busy looking through the fridge, either not hearing the conversation or ignoring completely. Not that either one was on Julian's mind, he was focusing on Noel. Mike and Dave continued to do their own thing but unlike Rich, Julian knew that they were listening.
"Well," he switched his position so his whole body was turned to face Noel, not feeling it necessary to stand up, "you two seemed awful cheery and content when you walked in this morning?"
It sounded like a normal statement but the inquisitively raised eyebrow on Julian's forehead showed what he was suggesting although Noel knew what he meant anyways and his jaw dropped offensively.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked cruelly.
"You know what it means." Julian shook his head and got up, grabbing the squashed packet of cigarettes from his back pocket.
"Where do you think you're going?"
Julian just sighed, "I'm going outside for a smoke." And with that he turned and left the bus, seeing out of the corner of his eye Noel shoot up from the seat and watch him go, not giving anyone eye contact. Hearing Noel yell at him as he closed the door on the way out.
"Get back here, Barratt!"
The mid-morning air was still cool and he felt the wind whip through the front of his jacket and curl around his thin hair, making it look like brown smoke. He pulled back the squashed cardboard flap of the cigarette packet and took one from its almost empty contents. Thinning his lips to hold it in his mouth as he retrieved the lighter and lit it up, inhaling and slowly breathing out with the smooth feeling that was so familiar to him. He already felt a bit more relaxed.
This feeling was ruined when Noel decided to burst out of the door and slam it behind him. He strode the few steps, angry Chelsea boots taking him forward until he was only a few inches away from Julian's face, apparently not bothered by the smoke that was blowing into his own. Glaring at Julian and obviously seething, he cocked his head to the side and held stiffened arms with hands bunching, a trait Julian had noticed Noel had picked up from him.
Speaking through a tight jaw Noel asked him, "Well?"
He breathed out the billowing smoke and dropped the only half-done cigarette, squashing it under his boot, ash spreading beneath him and into the gravel.
"For God's sake, Noel."
He tried to side step him and make his way back to the door but found himself blocked by an arm and pushed back against the bus, eyes still boring into his own that tried to escape the extreme contact.
He asked again, "What?"
Shoving Noel back slightly, not enough to hurt him or make him fall but enough to set himself free, it did no use as he was pushed back again and shoved into the side of the bus causing a shooting pain to travel up the length of his spine to back of his skull. Noel didn't give him a chance to register and he aggressively pressed his lips to Julian's, not really in an attempt to kiss him but to smother him and make it bruise.
He grabbed Noel by the fluffed collar of his jacket and tore his contact away from him, pulling him to the side and he just collided with the bus.
"No,Noel." he ground out firmly.
Feeling disappointed in Noel's lack of understanding and pity for the position he had put him in, Julian determinedly yanked open the bus door and stepped up into its safety from Noel and the outside world.
"Why don't you want me?" he yelled at him as the door closed, running after him to pound onto it even though it wasn't locked, kicking the base of the door with his boot, "Julian!" his name was screamed at the window. The others looked at Julian with concerned eyes but they knew better than to interfere. He sat back down on the 'bed' and groaned frustration into his palms.
"I know you want me!" he heard him cry up at the window but did not seeing the angry tears that now streamed down the younger man's hurt face. Rich moved from his seat at the table to go to the door but Julian looked up at him and told him, "No. Leave him." And he did, sitting back down next to Dave; not helping the worrying guilt that filled his chest when he looked out the tinted window to the distraught man that could not see him back.
A final cry of frustration and a thump to the side of the bus, Noel slid down to his knees, bawling his eyes into denim clad thighs until he could no longer remember.
( Third, final part. )
Pairing: Noel/Rich, Noel/Julian
Rating: NC-17 (Don’t really know what else to make it) once again, maybe a bit more PG-13, eh.
Word Count: 2,249~
Summary: A night of thoughts and unwanted company, Julian lay awake and brooded over the proceedings of the recent hours’ happenings only to wake up and have Noel still not understanding.
Warnings: Angst. A tad of violence, not really.
Disclaimer: I do not own Julian Barratt, Noel Fielding, Rich Fulcher or anyone else mentioned in this fic or The Mighty Boosh.
A/N: This is the sad excuse for a second part to a one-shot that requested more of and thus this is what my typing hands and depressing mind came up with. Not much really happens but I don’t really know where this is going to end up if it ends up anywhere. This might be the last part of this or there may be one more depending on if I can muster up enough small story to keep it going a tad more. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the first part, always appreciated.
( Part 1 )
On The Road - Part 2
Not wanting to be anywhere near Noel or human contact that night, Julian slept in the motor home that they were currently using as a tour bus. He lay on the small bed that was pulled out from the wall, tossing to his side and bunching the sheet that had previously been tangled awkwardly through his still corduroy covered legs. He huffed and screwed his eyes tighter, as if it would send him off to sleep any easier or make the night less dreary. Despite how cold it may have been outside, the bus was incredibly hot and the air was thick and humid, his face had become coated in a glistening layer of sweat and his clothes stuck to him uncomfortably yet he refused to remove them; shoes as well.
He hadn't been able to push the memory of how cruel he had been to Noel from his thoughts. In the five hours that had passed it had been the only thing on his mind, switching from emotions of hatred and resentment to sadness and pity - for himself and Noel. On different circumstances of course. Fear had shown its face in these past hours, fear always had a way of making an appearance in the most crucial of times. Fear for what he was doing to Noel; what Noel was doing to him and for what Noel was doing to himself, fear for Rich - that he might get hurt. No, Rich was going to get hurt. That was the inevitable. Whether Rich was going to be forefront and apparent about it when it hit him was something that was up to him to decide but it was going to happen, hopefully he already knew this.
Fear of losing Noel.
That was the most obvious one, the one that made his heart wretch the hardest. Made it twist inside his chest and pull at thoughts and feelings that were always locked away so that not even he himself could get to them or even be aware that they existed.
He didn't want to lose Noel and he knew for a fact that Noel didn't want to lose him. Or rather, couldn't lose him. Being someone's all was like being the only pencil to ever be coloured with and to have that pencil be over used and run blunt was like having the world end right before your eyes. If only he had a sharpener then things would be alright again.
He didn't want to hurt Noel like he was or how he had those short few hours ago but it was only because he wanted him to feel what he felt. To want something so badly but not able to have it, to have it tease you and lead you on only to have it snatch itself away and find another suspecting victim, leaving the previous one attached and wanting more of what it could never have.
Only, he did have him. He owned him. Noel was his and his only. Sometimes he just forgot and all he needed was a little reminder here and there to set him straight again, pulling him back into line and what reality was really like. What was in front of him.
But then that was slightly hypercritical and Julian wanted nothing less than to be a hypocrite. He'd had Noel right in front of him the whole time, Noel was his reality, and yet he had ignored it and only chose to focus on its beauty when he knew it would hold the best advantage.
He'd thought about this way too hard and for way too long. Nothing seemed to make any sense anymore and he figured that the lateness of the night and his growing insomnia weren't helping him at all. Probably adding to his plight more than anything if anything at all.
Letting an arm fall over the edge of the lame excuse for a bed, dangling it down to just touch the floor, dancing his fingers over the dark wood. He wondered what Noel was doing right now. Then the sickening thought and mocking words in the back of his mind came forward to torment him:
Probably Rich.
He gagged slightly, not sure why, but swallowing the slight bile that arose and it burned on the way back down. If he was honest with himself he had no problem with Noel and Rich, just the fact that Noel was doing it to make Julian jealous. That's why Julian pushed him away, he had to stay in control and show Noel what happens when he pulls Julian the wrong way. And really, it wasn't fair on Rich and he knew Rich did have feelings for Noel. Although, they didn't come close to what Noel or Julian felt for each other. That was something that no one would ever understand, they weren't even sure they understood it themselves.
He reached under the bed and dragged the glass corner along the wood, feeling the liquid swish slightly inside its shapely container. Pulling the bottle of Jack Daniels out and into the open he lent over the side and sculled the few mouthfuls that were left. Feeling a bit more satisfied with himself he set the bottle back down and eventually found himself actually sleeping.
---
Awoken by the small movement of the bus and the sound of scuttling and voices, his eyebrows knitted tightly and he rubbed his eyes and forehead with his hand that had partly gone to sleep from lack of blood. Groaning and turning his head to the other side he heard Mike say something about it being bloody time that he woke up. He lifted his wrist as far as his arm would allow it to reach, seeing the time of ten-thirty-two ticking away by the second. Raising a heavy head and looking at his surroundings he realized that they were in fact still parked and it was his head that was swimming with lack of sleep and a slight hangover that was most certainly not welcome.
Mike and Dave were in the kitchen section of the bus making tea and what appeared to be Pot Noodle, the smell spreading throughout the vehicle and reaching Julian's nose. He groaned and sat up, head swinging and feeling heavy as a dull throb started its pounding within his skull. Seeing no one else but them in the bus he figured Noel and Rich were out somewhere already or still at the hotel that Julian had refused to set foot in.
Dave spoke up, as if reading his mind, "Noel's back at the hotel with Rich. Apparently they don't like what food we have here." He said with a dry laugh.
Did Dave know about them?
Shaking his head and rubbing his greased from sweat forehead once more, Julian smiled to himself knowingly.
Of course he knew. It was Dave.
Just then the door swung open and a shining Noel and surprisingly happy Rich stepped into the vehicle and Julian felt it tip slightly with the extra weight until the door closed and it balanced out again. Noel chirped and continued talking about whatever it was he and Rich were on topic with until he made eye contact with Julian, looking down at him to show a smug grin before leaning in between the two shorter men over at the counter.
"Well, what have we got here then?" he breathed in the smell of the chicken flavoured Pot Noodle, exhaling excitedly, "I'll have one too, thanks."
Mike looked up at him over his shoulder, "Thought you were too upper-class for noodles in a cardboard bowl?" he teased, poking out his tongue between teeth to prove this so.
Noel's mocked offense and then ruffled his younger brother's hair, knowing he didn't like it when he was treated like a child. He walked over and sat down on the slightly cushioned in-built chair by the window that allowed him to put his feet up on the table, Dave turned and signaled for him to take them off as he sat down with his cup of tea, sipping at it slowly. Julian looked between Noel and Rich, knowing he shouldn't ask the teasing question but couldn't refrain and faced back to Noel to do so.
"What'd you two get up to last night then?"
Noel whipped his head to Julian, face stern and appearing a tad callous. He could tell he'd brushed some nerves by asking that. Although, that was partly his intention.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Noel snapped, accusingly with his voice raising a touch in defensive distress.
Rich was busy looking through the fridge, either not hearing the conversation or ignoring completely. Not that either one was on Julian's mind, he was focusing on Noel. Mike and Dave continued to do their own thing but unlike Rich, Julian knew that they were listening.
"Well," he switched his position so his whole body was turned to face Noel, not feeling it necessary to stand up, "you two seemed awful cheery and content when you walked in this morning?"
It sounded like a normal statement but the inquisitively raised eyebrow on Julian's forehead showed what he was suggesting although Noel knew what he meant anyways and his jaw dropped offensively.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked cruelly.
"You know what it means." Julian shook his head and got up, grabbing the squashed packet of cigarettes from his back pocket.
"Where do you think you're going?"
Julian just sighed, "I'm going outside for a smoke." And with that he turned and left the bus, seeing out of the corner of his eye Noel shoot up from the seat and watch him go, not giving anyone eye contact. Hearing Noel yell at him as he closed the door on the way out.
"Get back here, Barratt!"
The mid-morning air was still cool and he felt the wind whip through the front of his jacket and curl around his thin hair, making it look like brown smoke. He pulled back the squashed cardboard flap of the cigarette packet and took one from its almost empty contents. Thinning his lips to hold it in his mouth as he retrieved the lighter and lit it up, inhaling and slowly breathing out with the smooth feeling that was so familiar to him. He already felt a bit more relaxed.
This feeling was ruined when Noel decided to burst out of the door and slam it behind him. He strode the few steps, angry Chelsea boots taking him forward until he was only a few inches away from Julian's face, apparently not bothered by the smoke that was blowing into his own. Glaring at Julian and obviously seething, he cocked his head to the side and held stiffened arms with hands bunching, a trait Julian had noticed Noel had picked up from him.
Speaking through a tight jaw Noel asked him, "Well?"
He breathed out the billowing smoke and dropped the only half-done cigarette, squashing it under his boot, ash spreading beneath him and into the gravel.
"For God's sake, Noel."
He tried to side step him and make his way back to the door but found himself blocked by an arm and pushed back against the bus, eyes still boring into his own that tried to escape the extreme contact.
He asked again, "What?"
Shoving Noel back slightly, not enough to hurt him or make him fall but enough to set himself free, it did no use as he was pushed back again and shoved into the side of the bus causing a shooting pain to travel up the length of his spine to back of his skull. Noel didn't give him a chance to register and he aggressively pressed his lips to Julian's, not really in an attempt to kiss him but to smother him and make it bruise.
He grabbed Noel by the fluffed collar of his jacket and tore his contact away from him, pulling him to the side and he just collided with the bus.
"No,Noel." he ground out firmly.
Feeling disappointed in Noel's lack of understanding and pity for the position he had put him in, Julian determinedly yanked open the bus door and stepped up into its safety from Noel and the outside world.
"Why don't you want me?" he yelled at him as the door closed, running after him to pound onto it even though it wasn't locked, kicking the base of the door with his boot, "Julian!" his name was screamed at the window. The others looked at Julian with concerned eyes but they knew better than to interfere. He sat back down on the 'bed' and groaned frustration into his palms.
"I know you want me!" he heard him cry up at the window but did not seeing the angry tears that now streamed down the younger man's hurt face. Rich moved from his seat at the table to go to the door but Julian looked up at him and told him, "No. Leave him." And he did, sitting back down next to Dave; not helping the worrying guilt that filled his chest when he looked out the tinted window to the distraught man that could not see him back.
A final cry of frustration and a thump to the side of the bus, Noel slid down to his knees, bawling his eyes into denim clad thighs until he could no longer remember.
( Third, final part. )