relax, don't think about the way I treat you.
9/9
thursday i went with Nichole to watch Layla while she applied for jobs. we hung out for a couple of hours and then i went home. i hung out with Nora and Derrick at Lake Ella and we went to Coldstone and got ice cream. and then we picked up Sean and hung out at their house for a little bit. they were drinking and smoking, but i find myself increasingly less and less interested in that.
today was my first day at my new job (yes, i finally got a job). Tropical Smoothie on Timberlane in Market Square, and don't laugh, or i'll poision your ass when you come to get your damn fat buster smoothie. i had to come in at 7:30. i'm going back in tomorrow from 11-5.
katie came in for lunch and bought a smoothie.and then she met me when i got off and we hung out and went to go see John Tucker Must Die and then walked around Lake Ella.
it was cool for a first day. exhausting though. i did everything, making smoothies and wraps and doing the register. i like all of my co-workers except one (oh and it's cool cause my old roomie Kali works there too) and it's pretty laid back. of course, there's the token manager that wants to sleep with me (and that always happens to me). who cares. i'm so over that.
still haven't heard from ford. it's been 3 days. so short, so long. there's so much i want to say, but i lack the clarity of mind to express myself. all along, i've been so scared to lose him...it never occured to me that he could be the one to lose me. because the way he is right now...is not something that i want. it just isn't. and i'm not going to take it. i deseve more. and i will not play second best. love me or leave me. i fucked up. there's no denying. but right now, he's just as bad as me. in my opinion. it's such a mess and sometimes i wonder if it's beyond redemption at this point.
"cause i really want you/and you really want to."
thursday i went with Nichole to watch Layla while she applied for jobs. we hung out for a couple of hours and then i went home. i hung out with Nora and Derrick at Lake Ella and we went to Coldstone and got ice cream. and then we picked up Sean and hung out at their house for a little bit. they were drinking and smoking, but i find myself increasingly less and less interested in that.
today was my first day at my new job (yes, i finally got a job). Tropical Smoothie on Timberlane in Market Square, and don't laugh, or i'll poision your ass when you come to get your damn fat buster smoothie. i had to come in at 7:30. i'm going back in tomorrow from 11-5.
katie came in for lunch and bought a smoothie.and then she met me when i got off and we hung out and went to go see John Tucker Must Die and then walked around Lake Ella.
it was cool for a first day. exhausting though. i did everything, making smoothies and wraps and doing the register. i like all of my co-workers except one (oh and it's cool cause my old roomie Kali works there too) and it's pretty laid back. of course, there's the token manager that wants to sleep with me (and that always happens to me). who cares. i'm so over that.
still haven't heard from ford. it's been 3 days. so short, so long. there's so much i want to say, but i lack the clarity of mind to express myself. all along, i've been so scared to lose him...it never occured to me that he could be the one to lose me. because the way he is right now...is not something that i want. it just isn't. and i'm not going to take it. i deseve more. and i will not play second best. love me or leave me. i fucked up. there's no denying. but right now, he's just as bad as me. in my opinion. it's such a mess and sometimes i wonder if it's beyond redemption at this point.
"cause i really want you/and you really want to."