that sick feeling
is back in the pit of my stomach. i have no reason to feel this way. other than someone very close to me telling me that he and i are no good for each other, that all we do is tear each other apart. i tell myself that she doesn't know. that she can't see how we are when we're together.
did he sleep with someone else last night?
she told me that i deserve better. that no one who loved me would be with someone else. that no one who cared would ever physically hurt me. that my future husband would be killing himself trying to make this right, if he really was meant to be mine. i tell myself that she doesn't know what he's been through, and what i did to him. she tells me being drunk or fucked up's no excuse.
conflict. eternal conflict.
i saw him this morning. it echoes in my head-Escape was just a nod and a casual wave/Obsess about it heavy for the next two days. it was different from yesterday. no emotion showing, no physical contact. it's. not. right.
i'm getting sick of this. i just want to tell him, look, you want me or you don't. and you've said that you do. so why are we wasting time? nothing's going to change. quit breaking the girl. pick the flesh from bone and tear me apart. you said i love you. and if you meant it then i'll be true.
i repeat myself, over and over. and last night i slept secure with your scent and something to hold. you gave me part of you, and i'm not giving it back. i'm not letting you go. but be careful. i can bend and not break. and i can break and take it with a smile and you've got a mean heart,a cold heart. i need you to make this right. before i'm so broken you can't fix me this time.
so sweet thing, i hope that you know, i'm wondering where you are.
Got a big plan his mind's set, maybe it's right
At the right place and right time, maybe tonight
In a whisper or handshake sending a sign
Wanna make-out and kiss hard, wait, never mind
Late night in passing, mention it flip
To her best friend, it's no thing, maybe it slipped
But the slip turns to terror and a crush to like
And she walked in he froze up, leave it to fright
It's cute in a way till you cannot speak
And you leave to have a cigarette, knees get weak
Escape was just a nod and a casual wave
Obsess about it heavy for the next two days
It's only just a crush it'll go away
It's just like all the others it'll go away
Or maybe this is danger and he just don't know
You pray it all away but it continues to grow
I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right
I want to hold you close
Soft breath, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
"I wanna fucking tear you apart"
Then he walked up and told her thinking maybe it'd pass
And they talked and looked away a lot, doing the dance
Her hand brushed up against his, she left it there
Told him how she felt and then they locked in a stare
They took a step back thought about it, what should they do?
Cause there's always repercussions when you're dating in school
But their lips met and reservations started to pass
Whether this was just an evening or a thing that would last
Either way he wanted her and this was bad
Wanted to do things to her, it was making him crazy
Now a little crush turned into a like
And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell her
I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right
I want to hold you close
Soft breath, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
"I wanna fucking tear you apart"
did he sleep with someone else last night?
she told me that i deserve better. that no one who loved me would be with someone else. that no one who cared would ever physically hurt me. that my future husband would be killing himself trying to make this right, if he really was meant to be mine. i tell myself that she doesn't know what he's been through, and what i did to him. she tells me being drunk or fucked up's no excuse.
conflict. eternal conflict.
i saw him this morning. it echoes in my head-Escape was just a nod and a casual wave/Obsess about it heavy for the next two days. it was different from yesterday. no emotion showing, no physical contact. it's. not. right.
i'm getting sick of this. i just want to tell him, look, you want me or you don't. and you've said that you do. so why are we wasting time? nothing's going to change. quit breaking the girl. pick the flesh from bone and tear me apart. you said i love you. and if you meant it then i'll be true.
i repeat myself, over and over. and last night i slept secure with your scent and something to hold. you gave me part of you, and i'm not giving it back. i'm not letting you go. but be careful. i can bend and not break. and i can break and take it with a smile and you've got a mean heart,a cold heart. i need you to make this right. before i'm so broken you can't fix me this time.
so sweet thing, i hope that you know, i'm wondering where you are.
Got a big plan his mind's set, maybe it's right
At the right place and right time, maybe tonight
In a whisper or handshake sending a sign
Wanna make-out and kiss hard, wait, never mind
Late night in passing, mention it flip
To her best friend, it's no thing, maybe it slipped
But the slip turns to terror and a crush to like
And she walked in he froze up, leave it to fright
It's cute in a way till you cannot speak
And you leave to have a cigarette, knees get weak
Escape was just a nod and a casual wave
Obsess about it heavy for the next two days
It's only just a crush it'll go away
It's just like all the others it'll go away
Or maybe this is danger and he just don't know
You pray it all away but it continues to grow
I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right
I want to hold you close
Soft breath, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
"I wanna fucking tear you apart"
Then he walked up and told her thinking maybe it'd pass
And they talked and looked away a lot, doing the dance
Her hand brushed up against his, she left it there
Told him how she felt and then they locked in a stare
They took a step back thought about it, what should they do?
Cause there's always repercussions when you're dating in school
But their lips met and reservations started to pass
Whether this was just an evening or a thing that would last
Either way he wanted her and this was bad
Wanted to do things to her, it was making him crazy
Now a little crush turned into a like
And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell her
I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right
I want to hold you close
Soft breath, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
"I wanna fucking tear you apart"