During Presidential press conferences I will have a bushel basket of water balloons close at hand at all times.
#Harrington2024

I have an unusually dirty brain for a Democrat.

Never been washed.

CODEPENDENTS' DAY IN FRANCE!

Also, I have to announce a delay in my Presidential campaign. I will be running in 2024.

Trump is doing such a good job no Democrat has a chance in 2020.

#Harrington2024

I have finally broken down and started a Twitter account: MatthewJHarrington.

As President, I will publicly acknowledge what every Moslem already knows, to wit ( Read more... )

As President I shall open every meeting with the Vulcan hand greeting.

As President I promise to have every news performer who passes on rumors about me-- and any story where someone refuses to be cited as a source is, bluntly, nothing but a rumor-- audited.

When I am President I will abolish Squire O'Bama's decree that Secret Service protection be extended to last an entire lifetime, and return its limit to ten years after leaving office, on the grounds that when I have completed my service most people won't want to shoot me.

INSULTING THE STATES:

WYOMING:

This is the State where people go when they can't stand the crushing throngs of Montana.

It was also the first State to grant women the vote, so if you're old enough to remember good-quality cartoons* that weren't either imported or 27-minute toy commercials, blame Wyoming.

Also if you liked THE WILD, WILD WEST. ( ( Read more... )

As President I will push for a Constitutional Amendment forbidding a statute of limitations on child abuse.

I will also have the Attorney-General get the goods on anyone opposing this Amendment.