1280

Apr 20, 2017 00:01

INSULTING THE STATES:

WYOMING:

This is the State where people go when they can't stand the crushing throngs of Montana.

It was also the first State to grant women the vote, so if you're old enough to remember good-quality cartoons* that weren't either imported or 27-minute toy commercials, blame Wyoming.

Also if you liked THE WILD, WILD WEST. (The TV show, not Kenneth Branagh's inept Michael Dunn impression.)

Also if you remember that the reason the voting age was originally 21 because in those days you were expected to be supporting yourself at 14 (and would have supported your own home and family for seven years before voting), and that this remained true until slightly more than half the voters in the country realized this meant they would be grandmothers at 30.

Jackson Pollock was born in Wyoming. They have never apologized for this.

(*These were outlawed back when abortion was illegal, so women were forced to carry and give birth to children they never wanted. As President I will make goddamn sure everybody makes this connection.)

insulting states, election, parents, president, what, matthew joseph harrington

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