A TaNaka OneShot-Part two [MISSUNDERSTANDINGS]
Author: Haruna
Genre: Angst, Romance, fluff, psycological (maybe...)
Pairing: TaNaka, JinRu (friendship), JunKi (friendship)
Rating: R/NC-17
Summary: Because Men's Eyes Are Blind...
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Just the plot, if I own one of them you should call me Mrs. KoKameRuNishiJunDa
And I'm here again, in front of you door for the umpteenth time, I totter restless.
I don't know if I should ring your bell or not. It's late in the night, maybe you're sleeping yet, but I have a damn need to see you.
I breath deeply and courageously I ring. I wait a some instants, but the door doesn't seem seem to open.. As I thought you're sleeping yet. I'm almost leaving when a pale light comes from your apartment direction.
You're still awake, the deepest part of my heart hopes you were waiting for me.. But my reason knows you were just sleepless...
You're standing in front of me, just wearing your boxers, into your eyes the same sadness I've seen in the last months. It breaks me.
I want you to be happy again. It's HIS fault? I wish I could beat him up for making you this sad.
God only knows how much I wish I could be him, I want that man's place in your heart more than everything... I want to come back home every night and find you there for me, waiting for me with that sweet and warm smile of yours.
I didn't come here to make love to you. Yeah... Every time for me is making love, even thought for you is just sex, it doesn't matter as soon as I'm with you.
I've loved you for such a long time, I've even forgot when it started, when my feelings turn into love.
You've always been so important for me, but now you're indispensable, you're like the air I breath, without you I'll die...
I don't remember from when your body became so sensual and addicting. I came here just to be with you, in the same room, I just needed your presence, but unconscious of it, you're tempting me.
I admit it, I know I'm a weak man and I can't resist to the temptation of making love to the man I love so much.
I step into your apartment, we don't talk to each other, cause I don't give you the time to say a single word, I kiss you and I'm immediately lost in those beautiful and soft lips of yours.
How much I want to hear form those lips “I love you”. Only God know what I'll give to hear you say it, even if you're drunk, just to know how it feels...
I trap you between the wall and my body, you're moaning yet.
Damn you're beautiful, I wish I could be the only one allowed to see these lusty and sexy expressions, when you squirm under my touch or when I kiss your warm and soft skin.
But I know it can't be. Someone else stole your heart yet, and that certain someone it's not me...
In few minutes I feel so excited I could burst out, I can't resist any longer I want to love you until tomorrow morning, I want you to forget about HIM at least tonight.
And now... You show me that face again, I can read disgust on it. And it hurts. It hurts so much that I feel a deep angst is growing inside of me. You're thinking about him, about how much you wish I could be him.
This angst grows so much that I want to hurt you, I want to humiliate you, I want to make your body slave of mine own.
I push you down, on the freezing marble floor, undressing you of your boxers and your dignity.
I quickly get naked, and I sink deeply into your flesh, regardless, hurting you on purpose.
I regret it so much, I really regret it, but I can't stop. I can't stop this jealousy that consumes me. I'm going insane with this feeling stuck into my heart. I can't stand the fact you're thinking of someone else.
I want you to be mollycoddled, away from everyone in this world.
Again you don't even get excited. This drives me insane even more. I want to break you...
If only you'd implore me to stop this I'd know you're thinking about me...
No today we're not making love, today I'm hurting you, it has nothing to with love. I'm so disgusted by the kind of ma I've become.
So insane with jealousy that I'm able to hurt the person I love the most on this world. I hate myself, but I can't stop.
I want to posses you even more, I want to see you lifeless under me, consumed by my passion.
I come back to my senses feeling my climax closer... It's stupid ne?
My thrusts slow down and I fill you with my warmth.
I wish I can kiss you and implore your forgiveness, but I can't.
How much I regret the day I gave up on confessing you my true feeling, and I accepted this stupid friends-with-benefits things.
It didn't bring anything good in our relation, it just break our friendship. I broke it, with my damn jealousy.
I want to scream loud how much I love you, I want the entire world to know you're the man I want to protect for the rest of my life but I can't.
I collapse next to you, I'm looking at you, so beautiful... Only God could create something so perfect.
You're my everything, but I'm sure I'm loosing small parts of you every day that passes by...
I need to take a shower before I give up on my instinct and hug you so tight you will be breathless.
I know you'll take a shower and come out with red and swollen eyes again. I can't look at your face in that state. It makes me realize how deeply you're suffering.
I can't see you suffering for him. I can just act like I'm sleeping.
It will just be another sleepless night, I can watch over you tonight, be sure you'll sleep safely.
It's 7 in the morning and I'm still awake, I'm glad, I was able to spend my whole night looking at you, how peaceful and beautiful you're in your sleep.
I know I shouldn't do it, but I can't resist.
I kiss your lips.
“I love you Yuichi, you're my everything”
I said it... Once in my life I said it. I want you to be happy Yuichi...
You look like you're going to wake up, I lay down, acting I just woke up.
We eat breakfast, as nothing had happened. Why can lie so easily?
We weren't like this, I wasn't such a false person.
I want to say what I feel for you Yuichi. I so desperately want you to know that I love you more than my own life.