Tonight had the prettiest sunset sky
When I got out of class it was still full light, with the sun bright and visible above the trees from higher ground--and just a bit to the left, there was a fluffy, misty cloud at just the right angle that there was a small secret piece of rainbow created. It felt like a present, a little bit of improbable loveliness.
I really wanted to share, so I called Sam, but her house was too low to see it (she was happy I called and tried to share it with her anyhow)--but in talking to her, I thought of Nichelle, and her love of sunsets and coincidences and beauty, so on impulse called her too.
She'd already seen it and loved it. :) :) We got to have a short but sweet moment of connection over our happiness, and quickly touched base, both saying "Hey, I still like you a lot, we just aren't really in overlapping worlds right now." She had to go, so I left with "I love you, and I hope I see you soon, but if I don't I still love you." :) <3
That left me feeling...softly glowy, and well, rainbowy.
The rest of the sunset was just as amazing-- when the sun was still visible, but much farther down, the sky shaded from saturated pale blue to saturated pale pink, with pink and gold light highlighting this cloud that looked almost exactly like a double helix (there were a bunch of short discrete pieces that must have gotten spun?). Later, when the sun wasn't visible, the whole horizon turned to rainbow, with actual purple on the bottom edge, shading up the colors through bright red-pink and a lovely orange to purpley where it met the sky.
I don't usually do description, because it's not how I think. But damn, that was gorgeous, so I had to try.
And I'd had a really good day of teaching class, so I was actually in a really good space to appreciate it--there've been lovely sunsets before (it's a perk of a long drive home facing west around sundown) but most of them I haven't had spare spoons to spend on paying attention to it.
(That sends my brain off on a tangent about a lot of things--self-care being hard because the most effective things take energy to do in the first place, about classism in new age-y stuff, about what it really means for me when I don't feel up to putting effort into things that make me happy. That last, especially, I really want to try to think about in detail. Sometimes pushing through that feeling actually is worth it, but a lot of the times it's not, because I can force myself to do the motions, but can't force myself to actually have the extra energy. So. That was shorter than I thought actually--it seems like a pretty clear line then, that it's worth it to push if just going through the motions would still get me the benefit. But, I wanted to keep this short and immediate, because I keep thinking of things I want to write "soon," and soon is the same thing as never for me a distressingly amount of the time. More "now" instead is definitely a thing I'm cultivating.)
I also thought as I was driving home, that I find it odd how much I love sunsets, considering that I hate transition and change and I hate bright lights in my eyes. But...I love the night, and the end of the day, and I love gorgeous washes of color. So I think I can make it make sense in my head. :)
I really wanted to share, so I called Sam, but her house was too low to see it (she was happy I called and tried to share it with her anyhow)--but in talking to her, I thought of Nichelle, and her love of sunsets and coincidences and beauty, so on impulse called her too.
She'd already seen it and loved it. :) :) We got to have a short but sweet moment of connection over our happiness, and quickly touched base, both saying "Hey, I still like you a lot, we just aren't really in overlapping worlds right now." She had to go, so I left with "I love you, and I hope I see you soon, but if I don't I still love you." :) <3
That left me feeling...softly glowy, and well, rainbowy.
The rest of the sunset was just as amazing-- when the sun was still visible, but much farther down, the sky shaded from saturated pale blue to saturated pale pink, with pink and gold light highlighting this cloud that looked almost exactly like a double helix (there were a bunch of short discrete pieces that must have gotten spun?). Later, when the sun wasn't visible, the whole horizon turned to rainbow, with actual purple on the bottom edge, shading up the colors through bright red-pink and a lovely orange to purpley where it met the sky.
I don't usually do description, because it's not how I think. But damn, that was gorgeous, so I had to try.
And I'd had a really good day of teaching class, so I was actually in a really good space to appreciate it--there've been lovely sunsets before (it's a perk of a long drive home facing west around sundown) but most of them I haven't had spare spoons to spend on paying attention to it.
(That sends my brain off on a tangent about a lot of things--self-care being hard because the most effective things take energy to do in the first place, about classism in new age-y stuff, about what it really means for me when I don't feel up to putting effort into things that make me happy. That last, especially, I really want to try to think about in detail. Sometimes pushing through that feeling actually is worth it, but a lot of the times it's not, because I can force myself to do the motions, but can't force myself to actually have the extra energy. So. That was shorter than I thought actually--it seems like a pretty clear line then, that it's worth it to push if just going through the motions would still get me the benefit. But, I wanted to keep this short and immediate, because I keep thinking of things I want to write "soon," and soon is the same thing as never for me a distressingly amount of the time. More "now" instead is definitely a thing I'm cultivating.)
I also thought as I was driving home, that I find it odd how much I love sunsets, considering that I hate transition and change and I hate bright lights in my eyes. But...I love the night, and the end of the day, and I love gorgeous washes of color. So I think I can make it make sense in my head. :)