Also, Steve conflict
As explained to Ben, cause it illustrated some things I hadn't thought out til I said them out loud and I want to save them:
Forgive the sloppy sentencing, please. I'm the laziest when I'm text chatting, which is part of why it's so low activation energy for me.
I mean leaving my room
there are people home
that's what the blerg with Steve was about cause I'd been assuming the house would be empty and I'd get alone time and stuff done
and then he and alex were here and came in and asked me about working today
and I was all
well
I would be working
buuuuut
nope need empty space
and so that set off all his guilty triggers and he was all BUT WE CAN GET OUT OF YOUR WAY I'LL MAKE THIS WORK
and I could tell if I actually came out and asked for it, he'd do it, but that he really didn't want to and that it'd be really mentally and emotionally stressful for him
and he wouldn't fucking take that into account
so I had to take that into account and refuse to be super direct about saying I want them out of the house omigod yes please damnit
and do his emotional work for him while I was super fucking emotionally crashy
blarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg
sorry, kinda pissed about it
and I don't really think I can even explain to him what it was I found so frustrating
he's not going to magicaly develop boundaries just because it stresses me out that he doesn't have any
Forgive the sloppy sentencing, please. I'm the laziest when I'm text chatting, which is part of why it's so low activation energy for me.
I mean leaving my room
there are people home
that's what the blerg with Steve was about cause I'd been assuming the house would be empty and I'd get alone time and stuff done
and then he and alex were here and came in and asked me about working today
and I was all
well
I would be working
buuuuut
nope need empty space
and so that set off all his guilty triggers and he was all BUT WE CAN GET OUT OF YOUR WAY I'LL MAKE THIS WORK
and I could tell if I actually came out and asked for it, he'd do it, but that he really didn't want to and that it'd be really mentally and emotionally stressful for him
and he wouldn't fucking take that into account
so I had to take that into account and refuse to be super direct about saying I want them out of the house omigod yes please damnit
and do his emotional work for him while I was super fucking emotionally crashy
blarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg
sorry, kinda pissed about it
and I don't really think I can even explain to him what it was I found so frustrating
he's not going to magicaly develop boundaries just because it stresses me out that he doesn't have any