BEN LEMMOND IS FINALLY 18 YEARS OLD. Praise JEBUS.
Dear Benjamin Reed Lemmond,
Today is your 18th birthday, which is a big fucking deal because now you can buy cigarettes which you dont smoke and porn, which you don't look at (right?) OH AND VOTE! and buy things off the home shopping network which I know you've been DYING to do. You might be getting smashed right now off of alcoholic squishees and beer batter Pakora and I'm sure India doesnt have a drinking age because that would just be cruel cause I mean shit, they don't even have enough water over there, gotta take what they can get. Im going to stop talking about India bc you know a lot more about it and you are probably like: what a dumbass. Who knows? You've disappeared. The point is: I hope your 18th is really good because you made mine really fun, remember you talked me into buying a 28 dollar pinata which you beat to death, stole its candy, and now have the face in your room.
Here are some pictures of you as an American. Remember when you lived here? Good times. I love you and so does Emily she helped me find pictures and mind you it took like 2 hours because no one has pics of you on facebook since you don't have one. Because you're above it and all. Omg this would be the world's WORST greeting card.
<3333333 infinity you butterballfatty joykittenfluff doodle crossworddoing calculatorgameplaying NYtimes reading goof,
Hannah (Helen) (That really bad explorer)
Today is your 18th birthday, which is a big fucking deal because now you can buy cigarettes which you dont smoke and porn, which you don't look at (right?) OH AND VOTE! and buy things off the home shopping network which I know you've been DYING to do. You might be getting smashed right now off of alcoholic squishees and beer batter Pakora and I'm sure India doesnt have a drinking age because that would just be cruel cause I mean shit, they don't even have enough water over there, gotta take what they can get. Im going to stop talking about India bc you know a lot more about it and you are probably like: what a dumbass. Who knows? You've disappeared. The point is: I hope your 18th is really good because you made mine really fun, remember you talked me into buying a 28 dollar pinata which you beat to death, stole its candy, and now have the face in your room.
Here are some pictures of you as an American. Remember when you lived here? Good times. I love you and so does Emily she helped me find pictures and mind you it took like 2 hours because no one has pics of you on facebook since you don't have one. Because you're above it and all. Omg this would be the world's WORST greeting card.
<3333333 infinity you butterballfatty joykittenfluff doodle crossworddoing calculatorgameplaying NYtimes reading goof,
Hannah (Helen) (That really bad explorer)