The Kem Legacy: 2.0 With Moar Sexitimez Guaranteed
Me: Ooookay we left off with Ben being all " ARMAHGAD CONSTANCE YOUR SUCH A CRAPPY GIRLFRIEND IT'S OVER" *minus minus* and there was a glaredown and everything. If you missed it go check it out. Moving on!
Ben: My man parts are tingling.
Me: Lemme guess this is the first time you've seen her without her husband being home?
Ben: Hus-who?
-Over at Ben's homestead-
Fatima: Aaaaaaagh! Someone should rub me.
Fatima: How bout you?
Ben: I got a better idea!
Me: Of course you do...
Fatima: Gewd idea there uh...?
Me: It's Ben.
Ben: Shhhhhush inner voice she can call me Mongol for all I care.
Me: Mongol really?
Fatima: Hey Ben do you hook up?
Ben: Is there something else that people do?
Me: Yes it's called something people DON'T do who have self respect.
Fatima: We should be together Ben don't you think?
Me: UUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHH
Ben: Snuggle huggle.
Fatima: Like stealing candy from a baby.
Me: (0_0) Ben step away from this woman she's evil married!
Fatima: Come now my Ben, let me make you a man.
Me: PFFT! He ain't no virgin! Just ask the blond ( I think her name is Shelley?)
Ben: This is SOOOO easy!
Me: No Ben she is so easy.
Me: You could catch disease from the unfaithful wench!
-baby making jingle of doom -
Fatima: Oh Ben, your the perfect man for me. I need you in my life, you make everything okay. I am so unhappy with my husband and my child is grown now.
Ben: *Absorbs like sponge*
Ben: Fatima if were going to be together don't you think you should only be with me?
Fatima: Of course Ben, I would do anything for our love!
Ben: Oh that's good :)
Fatima: But now I'm gonna need a new shiny ring don't you think?? :-D
Ben: Whatever would you need that for?
Me: How about because your little swimmers made the check point.
Ben: Ruh Roh.
Fatima: I haven't felt this sick since my pregnancy with Betty!
Ben: Betty???
Ben: Fatima my sim goddess says that I have to do right by you.
Fatima: ......
Me: Ben don't scare her off while she still contains the holy vesticles!
Ben: What I meant to say was I really care about you...
Ben: I want you to be my girlfriend Fatima, because I Lo....la...la....*chokes*
Me: BEN GET IT TOGETHER MAN!
Ben: Because I love you and we should trade shiny rings and stuff...
Me: Eh, kind of nice....
Fatima: Oh My Gawd! Ben it's so shiny!
Ben: Please to be getting engaged yes?
Fatima: Oh Ben were gonna be getting married now!
Ben: Oh Fatima you can live with me now and we can haz sexitime guaranteed!
Me: He's taking the M-Word better everyday.
Ben: Hey Angel guess what?
Angel: What?
Ben: Chicken butt! No seriously you know our neighbor Fatima Simovitch?
Angel: Of Course Ben who does not know who she is if you get what I mean.
Ben: Ha ha *doesn't get it*
Me: I get it.....>_>
Ben: Weeeell.... were kind of engaged to get...
Angel: The M-word?
Ben: Yeah.
Angel: You know Ben this isn't a very good idea. Have you read the paper?
Ben: I don't care about her past, just about our future :D
Angel: Isn't she married to some other idiot already? What about their future?
Ben: She broke it off with him, for me :D
Angel: Well I guess if your heart is in it then I wish the both of you the best.
Me: Yeah somethings in it, in his pants that is.
Ben: Hmmm my Betty sense's are tingling....
Me: Ben..Ben stop running....BEN YOU CAN'T HAVE HER ANYMORE YOUR MARRIED!!
Ben: BEEEEETTTTTTTTYYYYYY!!!!
Betty: Huh?
Ben: Hi. I'm your neighbor :DDDDD
Betty: I am very aware that you live next door. Your the one who stole my mother away from my father.
Ben: Oh so you know about that....>_>
Ben: Well anywho since were all gonna be a family soon and stuff...
Betty: Exsqueeze me?
Ben: Me and your mum are gonna get married!
Betty: Wow, good job mom, way to snag em all up.
Ben: Wha?
Betty: Listen Ben take it from me, my mom is bad news and you just so happen to be her current sucker. It's a shame though...
Ben: What are you talking about?
Betty: I wish you the best and mom the best in her transition from home wrecker to gold digger.
Ben: I don't have any money....
Betty: Oh Ben....
Ben: Did I ever tell you my favorite color?
Me: If I was you Betty I would just walk away...
Me: Well I see it wasn't long until little miss Fatima discovered the ugly truth for herself,
Fatima: Uuuugh I'm a cow. It takes work just to get into this cheap ass bed..damn it BEEENN!!
Ben: *In kitchen* Yes dear?
Fatima: Get your little ass to bed!
Ben: Yes dear,
Me: Puss.
Ben: Hey we got a pond in our back yard!
Me: Your welcome :D
Ben: Hey sim goddess?
Me: Yes Ben?
Ben: Did it have to be sperm shaped?
Me: Life is ironic yes?
Ben: WEDDING PAWTY WOOT WOOT!
Me: You are aware of what happens at a wedding party right?
Ben: Beer pong?
Me: Hey is that Fatima's ex? And daughter?
Ben: No that's Mr. Simovitch and Betty :DDD
Fatima: Uuuh this was so not part of the plan...
Me: So the party consisted of....
Lots of getting down.
Ben attempting to make the sexy face at the camera while getting down with Betty.
Me: Hey you two smile a little!
Me: There ya go.
Moar dancing betwixed peoples.
Me: Please Don't Stop The Music came on and Fatima strongly disagreed..
Me: Ruh roh I guess Fatima is doing a lil bit of the WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DANCING WITH HER face at Betty and Ben. There chemistry must be electric DDDD:
Me: Aaah to the M-word. The old guy slowly serenaded the crowd whilst the happy couple say their vows.
Me: Play on mah old brutha.
Me: Then once the vows were coming to a close all the guests gathered round for the emotional ring exchanging...
Me: Even Ben's enemy Mr. Simovitch shead a tear for Fatima's next sucker.
Fatima: If I must give you this other shiny ring I will.
Ben: Oh Fatima may we be a real loving family with many little feets a muckin about and true love between us.
Fatima: Heh..just put the damn ring on Ben :D
Crowd: D'awwwww
Ben: O-M-G theres a baby in there!
Me: You better guess again fella.
Ben: (0_0)?
Ben: Hey da baby! When you come out you get to drink the freshest milk that we can afford at the market!
Ben: And I don't care if your gay we can do spirit fingers together my little man!
Me: Again with the needing to be guessing again....
Ben: Dude Angel I was stoked that you could make it to the wedding. You have to see how hugh Fatima is! Like wow!
Angel: Yeah my wife was that big when she had our twin girls.
Ben: Ha ha yeah but we obviously can't even afford a dresser let along twins lol.
Angel: Yeah.....Thats when twins like to come, when you can least afford them.
Me: Getting close to the time now.
Fatima: Thank god.
Me: Don't thank me, thank your protectionless selves. This was ALLL you too at work.
Fatima: Ha! Thats a good one Melvin (??I have no actually idea if thats his name, I think it is though).
Melvin: I know!!
Me: You probably shouldn't be laughing so hard this far along.
Fatima: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH BEEEEEEEEENNNNNNN!!!
Ben: Dammit right in the middle of the new episode of Spongebob.
Fatima: I don't remember when the last contraction was Ben!
Ben: Here I'll just check your pulse..
Fatima: CONTRACTIONS BEN NOT MY DAMN PULSE!
Ben: Judging by the yelling i'm guess your contractions are about a millisecond apart.
Fatima: YOUR A DAMN WORTHLESS FOOL!
Me: Finally, my ears THEY BLEEEEED!
Fatima: Can ya pick up the pace a little Ben?!
Ben: Right behind you dear!
Ben: I hate you Angel.
Me: I didn't even smite you or nothing...
Fatima: I don't think I can handle all this mess...
Ben: Fatima???
Me: Introducing two baby girls Mercedes and Sophia! ( Names my boyfriend came up with, after cars lol. Mercedes Benz and Kia Sophia lol. Men, gotta love their name ideas....)
Merecedes
Favs: Electronica, Hamburgers, and the color Yellow.
Personality: Loves The Outdoors and Light Sleeper
Sophia
Favs: Kids Music, Cheese Steak, and the color Violet ( almost likle her daddy :DD)
Personality: Neurotic and Brave
Me: Naaaah you weren't planning for boys or nothing....Nope not at all...
Fatima's Boss (whose name I forgot because my memory is of epic fail proportions): Hey did you know that the in thing to do these days is divorce your husband and abandon your family?
Fatima: Been there done that.
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Aaaand thats all for right now. Tune in next time!