The Kem Legacy: 1.0 Baby
Okay I know I always start them and never finish but I am just smitten with my lil' Ben Ben! Okay it may just be unhealthy the way I stalk him (but I'm supposed to!) anyway let me proceed.
This is the love of Benjamin Kem's life, but he's a flirt and denies the inevitable so carrying on. That's Betty Simovitch (sp?) btw.
Ben: I know we just met but I feel like I could just fall into your bed.
Ben: Too fast?
Me: A little slutty, just a lil bit.
Ben: Okay, lemme think about this...
Ben: Your eyes they are like stars in the sky!
Ben: *Looks dramatically to the stars* Oh my have you fallen from the sky?
Me: Try again.
Ben: Hey baby, with my looks and your..uh..looks we could take over Riverview. Rawr baby, rawr.
Ben: Aye Aye what about that one?
Me: I am not here to judge I am here to survey.
Ben: Hey so your kind of like that chick peeping through my window!
Me: Uh..you could say that >_>
Ben: Ohhh I get it...
Me: Get what?
Ben: Your like a fan or something right? Riiiight?
Me: Just go greet your damn neighbors.
Me: I smite you.
Ben: That doesn't look like the beginnings of a hug wtf? OLD LADY ATTACK?!
Ben: Ohh my innerds.
Me: Insult me again douche.
Oldie: And thats what you get for being blasphemes.
Me: Anywho so these three showed up who include the Mad Oldie (spinster? or bag maybe?) Constance whom I kind of love...
Ben: PRUDE! *cough*
Me: ANYWAY and then there is the blond who's name totally left my brain.
Ben: Hey..is there something lurking in the bushes?
Me: Hey Mad Oldie I see you a being a creepy creepster. That's my job (-_-) get your own!
Me: Um..whatcha doing there?
Blond: Hmm of wha?
Blond: Just digging in Benjamin's precious recycleable materials :D
Me: Uh?
Blond: Dun tell!
Me: Guess Ben figured he couldn't leave her out there all night like a lost puppy.
Ben: Mommy!
Blond: My baby :D
Me: Soooo unhealthy D:
Me: Heading to bed there Ben Ben?
Ben: It was a rough day today.
Me: Better luck tomorrow then.
Oh duh! I never even listed his stats!
Favorites: Classical Music, Grilled Salmon, and The Color Lilac
Me: He's not a chick I swear.
Ben: Hey LOTS of men like that color.
Personality: Frugal (Can't you tell?), Over-emotional, Good Sense of Humor, Flirty, and Handy.
The next day after a nice coupon clipping he headed over to Constance's banging ass house!!!
Constance: *Is not amused to see Ben or anything else that isn't Journalism*
Ben: Oh hey Constance, a rose for your thoughts?
Me: Hey Ben, is that the best idea? Have you seen her face?
Ben: So Constance you have a very impressive job as a journalist and all thaty, but I am an amazing clothes folder at the Spa Shop :D
Constance: Who let you in?
Ben: So since your all single and stuff why don't you take a walk on the wild side with me eh eh?
Constance: Excuse me?
Yeah..This is just a completely pointless photo but it makes me squee with delight so deal with it.
Ben: Your eyes are like stars shooting across the sky..
Me: Her eyes are shooting?
Ben: Your more beautiful than a dozen roses..
Me: Aaaand?
Ben: And smell real purdy :D
Constance: *Giggle Snort*
Me: You'll being seeing this alot in his future.
Constance: Oh Ben I...I think I...
Ben: Constance I wanted to know something...
Constance: Oh Ben anything what is is that you have to say?
Ben: Constance, If you will spend a short amount of time commiting yourself to the worship of my amazing man bod.
Constance: Wha WHAAAAAT?
Ben: Uh I need you? My mother died? My wife died? Uh terrible multi death accident?
Me: BEN YOUR GOING TO HELL! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A MOTHER!
Ben: Uh..
Me: Or a dead wife! Or alive one!
Constance: Shut up and kiss me you idiot.
Ben: Hey will you be my girlfriend now?
Constance: Sure we can be exclusive.
Ben: Coo so can we make with the sexitimez now?
Constance: EXCUSE ME BENJAMIN KEM WHAT KIND OF GIRL DO YOU THINK I AM?!
Ben: *Pouts* No sexitimez?
Ben: UNBELIEVABLE!!111!1111!
Ben: Okay no sexitimez how about kissy smoochie mwah mwah timez?
Constance: Are you being serious?
Me: Har har me no tinkie so baby. She's a no go.
Ben: But it's just a hug I swear!
Constance: MARRIAGE FIRST!
Ben: Did you say the M Word? Oh no she did-int!
Constance: No offense Ben but I have values and morals and I don't want to ingage in your recreational sins.
Me: Burn...
Ben: So what do we do now???? *pout pout*
Me: Snoresville. I see that Constance, your midnight cuddle doesn't fool me..
Ben: She wants it...*snore snore mumble*
The next morning Constance goes batshit because she's the worlds biggest prude. Here let's get a close up...
Constance: OH MY GOD WHAT DID I DO LAST NIGHT?!?
Ben: *wipes sleepies out of eyes* You got tired and we just fell asleep together.
Constance: UNFORGIVABLE!!
Constance: *Chants* First comes Marriage then comes love!
Ben: Well I was gonna make her breakfast before she went all nutso over sleeping next to me. Heh *smug smug*
Me: What?
Ben: I told you I drive all the girls crazy :D
Me: And who would of thought it would be literally?
Me: Ew what is SHE doing here?
Ben: Plan B.
Ben: Uh..thats some kind of fragrance you got wifting from your body..
Blond: I know...
Me: DON'T INHALE HER NOXIOUS FUMES!
Paperboy: Oh hey Ben who ya smooching on there?
Paperboy: OH GAWD OH MY SMELL SENSORZ! YOU NASTY SIR YOU NASTY!
Ben:Kiss under moonlight, check. Desperate chick alone in the dark, check. Outside my house, check.
Me: Sexitimez?
Ben: (-_-)
Me: Uncheck.
So in the morning Ben went scouting for something new to chase after.
Ben: Hey you there.
Me: Ben...
Ben: Any daughters or wife or sister or something with a hole around?
Angel : exsqueeze me?
Me: Ben he's clearly athletic and a couple of days ago you lost a fight to the Mad Oldie. I think he can take you.
Ben: Plan C or Plan B part 2?
Me: Go ahead who am I to stop you.
Blond: But you didn't even like try to be romantic..
Ben: Aww but it's just a little sexitimez.
Me: But she can mwah ha ha.
Ben: AHA But I know!
*Cue superfly music* FOOOOORRREEEEE PLAY!
TALKING BOUT DEM SEXITIMES
Ben: Okay now that I can haz sexitimes with others I am moar desirable yes yes?
Constance: Oh Ben...
Ben: Oh Constance...
Constance: GET A DAMN CLUE WILL YA! I AM SO SICK OF HEARING ALL THIS BLAH BLAH ABOUT SEXITIMES DAMN IT.
Constance: I don't even know why I am over here you just stay on your side you horny toad!
Me: Wha WHAAAT?!?!
Me: Nobody but nobody puts baby Ben in the corner! Or makes him make the super unhappy face!
Ben: Yeah she's right!
Constance: Who?
Ben: There's only one thing worse than being a bookworm and that a prude and your both sister!
Constance Glare Battle All System Go!
Ben Counter Glare All Systems Go!
Ben: Listen I don't even know why I am with you!
Ben: Your nothing that I like in a woman, your mean and assulting, and I don't want to be with you!
Ben: I don't want to even have sexitimez with you anymore it's over!
Constance: But Ben I...
Ben: I don't want to hear your excuses just leave my bedroom and my life!
Constance: Fine Ben if thats how you want it.
Ben: Hey, I know were over and all that but I hope you find true happiness in who ever can handle your harsh prudish demands.
Constance: You just broke up with me! Stop trying to be nice you wimp!
Ben: But I can't help it I'm a nice guy..
HOLY EARS BATMAN!
Constance: Hey but thanks I guess it was fun while it lasted.
And forever Constance walked out of Benjamin Kem's life, her dignity intact but her pride a little broken.
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Thats all for this update. Maybe we'll actually get to some kind of legacy thing next time lol.