Brief update..well, maybe not so brief
I have been nudged to post...so here goes.
I resigned from my church board. My own drive and ambition are not going to work well there. And I got really really really tired of the mixed message "we don't want to be our minister/why aren't you behaving more like a minister?" that has been the norm for the past 8 or so years now...long enough. There were times I felt like Kassandra...so never mind. I'm gone, for now at least. When I figure out what this church has to offer me (at present, nothing; recent past, it has taken much more than it gave), I may come back. But I can't see belonging to a church just to save the church. If the church offers me nothing but its own need, what am I doing there?
I hear some old friends have re-upped; it's good that folks find a reason to be there. Just not for me right now.
I start teaching at OU tomorrow. I'm nervous; I've never taught a semester-long course for undergrads before. However, the Gateway course is pretty programmed, so not much rests on my shoulders as far as organization and planning goes.
I found out I misspelled the name I used for this LJ. I'm trying to figure out if there is a way to correct it. Probably not an easy one. Probably doesn't have to be changed; I've probably developed a masculine ending for an Elvish word without meaning to do so. Since I have a distinctly masculine side to my communication and interpersonal interaction style, perhaps it's appropriate. Still, I'd like it to be the word I meant: hadhafang. Oh well...
Daughter is back from her trip; today is her first day of high school. Dropped her off at 7:15 and wished her well...she did not want a hug. Of course not, she's her own woman now...right. Well, at 14 going on 35, she's close enough for her standards.
My job at the Writing Center looks like it may turn out to be really cool. The attitude is so positive and the team spirit is so infectious that I have actually signed up to participate in the United Way fundraiser. I don't support United Way. I have never supported UW. I don't like their tactics. I support many UW agencies individually, and I support many non-profits that are not UW affiliated. But this year I will give a little money to UW, because my office has an unbroken record of unanimous participation. And I'm not going to let down my team, even if I don't usually go there for myself. It's not like I oppose UW, after all. I just don't like the tactics.
I have several friends going through different kinds of hell in their lives, and I am once again everyone's den mother--which is sometimes exhausting but also affirming and therefore worth it...one friend said to me recently, "I'm glad the scruffy and confused are still finding their way to you." Not so scruffy, not even confused, just people like me in pain I understand. I guess this is why I went through it myself: so I can share what I learned and help out whoever can use what I have to offer.
I am also now in rehearsal as one of the Venticelli in Amadeus, opening 9/14 in Oklahoma City. Those in reach, please come and see. It's going to be a fabulous show; our Salieri is magnificent and our Mozart is wonderful; the whole cast is made up of experienced and talented people. It's a joy to work in circumstances like these.
Best gift I've had in recent years...a friend re-introduced me to music I had stopped listening to...the old voices in my head that told me I would never be good enough or smart enough or something enough to really understand or make this music had me convinced that I should "settle" for the music I can sort of really do...a disservice to all the music and to my sense of self as well...so many many thanks again for opening an old and dusty door in my heart...and for letting me face again, and more honestly, the real truth that I really never will be the musician I want to me...I really don't have that particular kind of talent...However, I am the musician I am, and I have the talent and training and skills that I have, so I will learn be satisfied with what I can do well...another source of joy, albeit mixed.
So that's all the news that's fit to print...TTFN...
Hadhufang...for now anyway...
I resigned from my church board. My own drive and ambition are not going to work well there. And I got really really really tired of the mixed message "we don't want to be our minister/why aren't you behaving more like a minister?" that has been the norm for the past 8 or so years now...long enough. There were times I felt like Kassandra...so never mind. I'm gone, for now at least. When I figure out what this church has to offer me (at present, nothing; recent past, it has taken much more than it gave), I may come back. But I can't see belonging to a church just to save the church. If the church offers me nothing but its own need, what am I doing there?
I hear some old friends have re-upped; it's good that folks find a reason to be there. Just not for me right now.
I start teaching at OU tomorrow. I'm nervous; I've never taught a semester-long course for undergrads before. However, the Gateway course is pretty programmed, so not much rests on my shoulders as far as organization and planning goes.
I found out I misspelled the name I used for this LJ. I'm trying to figure out if there is a way to correct it. Probably not an easy one. Probably doesn't have to be changed; I've probably developed a masculine ending for an Elvish word without meaning to do so. Since I have a distinctly masculine side to my communication and interpersonal interaction style, perhaps it's appropriate. Still, I'd like it to be the word I meant: hadhafang. Oh well...
Daughter is back from her trip; today is her first day of high school. Dropped her off at 7:15 and wished her well...she did not want a hug. Of course not, she's her own woman now...right. Well, at 14 going on 35, she's close enough for her standards.
My job at the Writing Center looks like it may turn out to be really cool. The attitude is so positive and the team spirit is so infectious that I have actually signed up to participate in the United Way fundraiser. I don't support United Way. I have never supported UW. I don't like their tactics. I support many UW agencies individually, and I support many non-profits that are not UW affiliated. But this year I will give a little money to UW, because my office has an unbroken record of unanimous participation. And I'm not going to let down my team, even if I don't usually go there for myself. It's not like I oppose UW, after all. I just don't like the tactics.
I have several friends going through different kinds of hell in their lives, and I am once again everyone's den mother--which is sometimes exhausting but also affirming and therefore worth it...one friend said to me recently, "I'm glad the scruffy and confused are still finding their way to you." Not so scruffy, not even confused, just people like me in pain I understand. I guess this is why I went through it myself: so I can share what I learned and help out whoever can use what I have to offer.
I am also now in rehearsal as one of the Venticelli in Amadeus, opening 9/14 in Oklahoma City. Those in reach, please come and see. It's going to be a fabulous show; our Salieri is magnificent and our Mozart is wonderful; the whole cast is made up of experienced and talented people. It's a joy to work in circumstances like these.
Best gift I've had in recent years...a friend re-introduced me to music I had stopped listening to...the old voices in my head that told me I would never be good enough or smart enough or something enough to really understand or make this music had me convinced that I should "settle" for the music I can sort of really do...a disservice to all the music and to my sense of self as well...so many many thanks again for opening an old and dusty door in my heart...and for letting me face again, and more honestly, the real truth that I really never will be the musician I want to me...I really don't have that particular kind of talent...However, I am the musician I am, and I have the talent and training and skills that I have, so I will learn be satisfied with what I can do well...another source of joy, albeit mixed.
So that's all the news that's fit to print...TTFN...
Hadhufang...for now anyway...