When does it end?
Okay...so I know I don't write in here often, and when I do, it's pretty much meaningless to anyone but me, but I've got some things I need to get off of my chest.
I am completely head over heels in love with him. I think about him all the time, and every time I do, my heart skips a beat. So much has happened since the last time I wrote.
First off, he broke up with his girlfriend- that was quite a while ago. Ever since then, we have been spending A LOT of time together. Nothing has happened, but things seem to be leading into a very weird and fascinating direction. Or maybe that's just what I want to believe. I'm so fucked up in the head I can't tell the difference anymore, and that's VERY unlike me.
He asked me to participate in this project that his family's company was heading up. I got the company I work for to donate food to the crews that were working on the project, and I showed up at 8am ready to work. Turns out there wasn't much for me to do, besides make sure the coolers were stocked with ice and drinks, but I had a great time anyway because I got to spend the entire day with him.
Also, last week we took a swing dancing lesson at a swing club. We didn't really get to dance together too much because they make you switch dance partners all the time. The fact that we took a dance lesson in and of itself is not so amazing. What's amazing is, the next day I talked to two mutual friends of ours, and they were completely flabbergasted that I had gotten him to go dancing. I never knew that he had such a hang-up about it, being that when I mentioned it to him, he was on board to go immediately. Is that because he was going with me, or just because he thought it might be fun? The reaction from our friends would dictate the former.
And then to add to that point, after the lesson he said that he wanted to take salsa lessons....with me. Of course the very next day I was online checking out studios in the area that offer that. Before I booked anything, I called him up to be sure that he was serious about it. He said he was. So Tuesday, we are taking our first "introductory" lesson to salsa dancing. What gives??
On Thursday, we are going to a concert that he invited me to and absolutely refused to let me pay for my ticket. His sister and brother are also going, so I don't think I will get the chance to talk to him about anything that night (assuming I would have the balls to say anything anyway). And that really blows, because the band we are going to see plays a song that always makes me think of him and the relationship I have with him. And anyone that knows me (especially you, David), knows that music moves me...probably more than the average person. It will be very difficult to keep my mouth shut.
And yesterday when we were working, he kept making comments that very easily could have been construed as either serious, or jokes. I can't seem to wade through the bullshit to find the truth.
Just lately, I've been giving a lot of kick-ass advice to my friends regarding relationships that they are currently in or want to be in. I think it's about time I start taking some of my own advice...but I'm so scared of what the outcome might be. Not so much that he won't reciprocate the feelings, because I understand that that is probably the case, but I don't want it to affect the amazing relationship that we currently have. But I feel like if I don't say something (soon) I'm going to explode.
I am completely head over heels in love with him. I think about him all the time, and every time I do, my heart skips a beat. So much has happened since the last time I wrote.
First off, he broke up with his girlfriend- that was quite a while ago. Ever since then, we have been spending A LOT of time together. Nothing has happened, but things seem to be leading into a very weird and fascinating direction. Or maybe that's just what I want to believe. I'm so fucked up in the head I can't tell the difference anymore, and that's VERY unlike me.
He asked me to participate in this project that his family's company was heading up. I got the company I work for to donate food to the crews that were working on the project, and I showed up at 8am ready to work. Turns out there wasn't much for me to do, besides make sure the coolers were stocked with ice and drinks, but I had a great time anyway because I got to spend the entire day with him.
Also, last week we took a swing dancing lesson at a swing club. We didn't really get to dance together too much because they make you switch dance partners all the time. The fact that we took a dance lesson in and of itself is not so amazing. What's amazing is, the next day I talked to two mutual friends of ours, and they were completely flabbergasted that I had gotten him to go dancing. I never knew that he had such a hang-up about it, being that when I mentioned it to him, he was on board to go immediately. Is that because he was going with me, or just because he thought it might be fun? The reaction from our friends would dictate the former.
And then to add to that point, after the lesson he said that he wanted to take salsa lessons....with me. Of course the very next day I was online checking out studios in the area that offer that. Before I booked anything, I called him up to be sure that he was serious about it. He said he was. So Tuesday, we are taking our first "introductory" lesson to salsa dancing. What gives??
On Thursday, we are going to a concert that he invited me to and absolutely refused to let me pay for my ticket. His sister and brother are also going, so I don't think I will get the chance to talk to him about anything that night (assuming I would have the balls to say anything anyway). And that really blows, because the band we are going to see plays a song that always makes me think of him and the relationship I have with him. And anyone that knows me (especially you, David), knows that music moves me...probably more than the average person. It will be very difficult to keep my mouth shut.
And yesterday when we were working, he kept making comments that very easily could have been construed as either serious, or jokes. I can't seem to wade through the bullshit to find the truth.
Just lately, I've been giving a lot of kick-ass advice to my friends regarding relationships that they are currently in or want to be in. I think it's about time I start taking some of my own advice...but I'm so scared of what the outcome might be. Not so much that he won't reciprocate the feelings, because I understand that that is probably the case, but I don't want it to affect the amazing relationship that we currently have. But I feel like if I don't say something (soon) I'm going to explode.