(no subject)

Feb 27, 2005 00:25

Name: Gregory Goyle
House: Slytherin
The name of who you turned into: Padma Patil
The house of who you turned into: Ravenclaw.

How has this changed your perceptions of girls?
What they lack in a Key, they make up for in two knockers. My respect for my fellow sisters, has risen greatly.

Hear, hear sisters! Praise the (Dark) Lord!!

How has this changed your perceptions of boys?
They do not understand the mental and spiritual anguish that comes along with suddenly developing two balls and not knowing what to do with them.

How will you treat the other gender differently in the future?
I will give them a pamphlet on how to deal with PMS, compliment them on their face, and talk about my "feelings" (with quotation marks and everything!) and then hand them my Buddy Death Eater Pamphlet explaining to them that it is the next Nora BibityBobityBoobert book.

They will be butterbeer within my hands!!

How has this changed your perceptions of what it means to be your gender?
When you are a man and you walk with your shirt off to attract woman into the side of the Dark with your devilishly sleek physique, everyone says, “Put your shirt on Goyle,” or “Ah! My Eyes!” When you are a woman and you walk with your shirt off, administrators tackle you to the ground and swiftly deliver a clothing spell, and detract a riddikulus amount of points from your real house.

You see, witches get preferential treatment! And warlocks get ignored on the basis of their sex. No one cares when WE run around topless. This screams sexual discrimination!

***

I cannot do this anymore, Headmaster Wh1te Ha1red Ev1l! My hands hurt from too much typing. And my legs hurt from sitting too long. And my brain hurts, my hair hurts, I think I may be coming down with a fatal tropical illness and I am sleepy. Also, a niffler ate my laptop!

I would like to do this assignment, but it goes against my spiritual beliefs. I do not think the Dark Lord condones school work. I am pretty sure it says it in the Buddy Death Eater Pamphlet that, "Gregory Goyle cannot finish his survey because it goes against the Death Eater belief. It's true. Really. It is in this here pamphlet. No, you can't look."

-Gregory Goyle
Born Again and Again,
Junior Death Eater
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