(no subject)
From Jean Grey's journal...
"I feel like the worlds worst failure. I can't hold onto a relationship, even one so simple as a friendship. That point was brought home painfully many times over. Scott. Ororo. Tara. Logan. Xavier. Even when I try, something seems to go wrong. In or out of my control I blame myself.
"However, as adults, they can take care of themselves. My worst failing was to the person I loved most in the world. A small innocent little girl, my daughter. Only four years old. She depended on me. I was her world. Her father died when she was young. There were no children at the mansion for her to have as playmates. The other adults were wrapped up in the very real battles that we faced. I was everything, the only thing, that she had. And I failed her. By dying.
"I knew that I needed to be careful. That if I was gone anything could, and would, happen to her. But I wasn't. I thought that I was invincible. Forgive me if I sound bitter, but that's how I feel. I went on a mission. A stupid one that anyone else could have handled. But I didn't want to trouble anyone else. So I went. By myself. And it turned out to be a lot more complicated then it seemed. And I died. And left my poor darling girl... All alone.
"And she fell into the hands of a monster. Who turned her, changed her, destroyed the sweetness I loved most in her. He tortured her and forced her to hunt her own kind. Scarred her beyond anything that can ever be healed. And it's my fault. Because I left her. I let her down. I failed.
"Before I left that day, she looked up and me with tears in her eyes, and begged me not to go. Not to leave. And I promised her, I fucking promised, that I would be fine. That I'd be home in time for dinner. But I never was..."
"I feel like the worlds worst failure. I can't hold onto a relationship, even one so simple as a friendship. That point was brought home painfully many times over. Scott. Ororo. Tara. Logan. Xavier. Even when I try, something seems to go wrong. In or out of my control I blame myself.
"However, as adults, they can take care of themselves. My worst failing was to the person I loved most in the world. A small innocent little girl, my daughter. Only four years old. She depended on me. I was her world. Her father died when she was young. There were no children at the mansion for her to have as playmates. The other adults were wrapped up in the very real battles that we faced. I was everything, the only thing, that she had. And I failed her. By dying.
"I knew that I needed to be careful. That if I was gone anything could, and would, happen to her. But I wasn't. I thought that I was invincible. Forgive me if I sound bitter, but that's how I feel. I went on a mission. A stupid one that anyone else could have handled. But I didn't want to trouble anyone else. So I went. By myself. And it turned out to be a lot more complicated then it seemed. And I died. And left my poor darling girl... All alone.
"And she fell into the hands of a monster. Who turned her, changed her, destroyed the sweetness I loved most in her. He tortured her and forced her to hunt her own kind. Scarred her beyond anything that can ever be healed. And it's my fault. Because I left her. I let her down. I failed.
"Before I left that day, she looked up and me with tears in her eyes, and begged me not to go. Not to leave. And I promised her, I fucking promised, that I would be fine. That I'd be home in time for dinner. But I never was..."