(no subject)
Jean stood at her bedroom window. It was midnight. A new year. She could see fireworks streaking the sky and reflecting on the water of the lake. Downstairs the academy had turned out in mass to celebrate the occasion. But she didn't feel like celebrating. Lifting the flute of champagne she had brought with her to her lips, she took a sip and thought back on her life. Over the past year she had returned from the dead, recovered from a nervous breakdown, been granted a wish whose repercussions were still damaging her life. She'd made an unexpected friend in Emma Frost, and driven away or destroyed just about every person in the world who had ever loved her.
Scott and her had probably been wrong for each other. Had just not seen it. But a niggling part of her mind couldn't help but htink that she had somehow been to blame. Maybe it was her penchant for ending up dead. Or perhaps it was just because she blamed herself for the destruction of her daughter, Rachel. It might not be entirely her fault that the lights were on and Rachel was no longer home, but it felt like it. That nasty little thing called guilt sneaking up on her again. And Tara. Tara had loved her for a while. And as much as she tried not ot admit it, she had loved her back. But her driving desire to be with her daughter had sent Tara packing back into the arms of her old lover. Where she belonged, Jean told herself, even when it was hard to swallow. Logan had loved her once. It seemed an even longer time ago. But she had been a fool. Was still a fool. And had driven him away with harsh words and even harsher judgements. Because she was a good girl. Because she was married. Because... She didn't even remember all the reasons now.
Lifting a cigarette to her lips, she lit it, and promised herself she'd try harder to quit in the coming year. Blowing out smoke, she looked at her life, trying to see what being the good one, the nice one, had accomplished. From where she was standing, all it had done was leave her alone. Looking out the window, she watched the fireworks over the lake, and wondered where this year would take her.
Muse: Jean Grey
Fandom: X-Men
Scott and her had probably been wrong for each other. Had just not seen it. But a niggling part of her mind couldn't help but htink that she had somehow been to blame. Maybe it was her penchant for ending up dead. Or perhaps it was just because she blamed herself for the destruction of her daughter, Rachel. It might not be entirely her fault that the lights were on and Rachel was no longer home, but it felt like it. That nasty little thing called guilt sneaking up on her again. And Tara. Tara had loved her for a while. And as much as she tried not ot admit it, she had loved her back. But her driving desire to be with her daughter had sent Tara packing back into the arms of her old lover. Where she belonged, Jean told herself, even when it was hard to swallow. Logan had loved her once. It seemed an even longer time ago. But she had been a fool. Was still a fool. And had driven him away with harsh words and even harsher judgements. Because she was a good girl. Because she was married. Because... She didn't even remember all the reasons now.
Lifting a cigarette to her lips, she lit it, and promised herself she'd try harder to quit in the coming year. Blowing out smoke, she looked at her life, trying to see what being the good one, the nice one, had accomplished. From where she was standing, all it had done was leave her alone. Looking out the window, she watched the fireworks over the lake, and wondered where this year would take her.
Muse: Jean Grey
Fandom: X-Men