***I AM THAT GOOD***
I cannot stop laughing right now. I just went on Sarah (Jean's) Myspace and her little update thing says she misses me. Of course she does. Why wouldn't she? I'm fucking great!! *smiles* She's just another name on a long list of people who ALWAYS come back. I may be [a little] crazy but I'm the most loyal person you'll ever meet. Love me or hate me, either way I'm still on your mind!!!!!!!!
My concert weekend was a total blast. Brad Paisley was just as crazy in person as he's portrayed to be. As of that night I want Jewel's legs. That bitch is TONED as a motherfucker. Chuck Wicks is my future ex-husband. He is SO adorable!! I wanted to stick around after the concert and meet him but Brad wasn't done til 11:30 and I had to drive all the way home from West Palm Beach, so I left. I got moved from second row to right in front of the stage in the standing room only area because one of the employees there thought I was hot. God, it pays to be blonde!! I got some awesome pictures but LJ is refusing to let me upload them and it's pissing me off. I had even more fun at the Sara Evans' concert. I swear to God she got even more beautiful since the first time I met her a few months ago. My heart is really starting to say "Faith who?" I got stuck sitting between a homely looking girl and an old guy. I was sitting there texting away about how I was sitting by crazy people when the old guy (who wouldn't stop asking me all kinds of stupid questions!) goes "Do you know how to change the background on that thing?" I looked at him like he was nuts and said "Um, yes?" and went back to my texting. Next thing I know he whips out the exact same Blackberry and goes "Would you change it for me please??" So to get him to shut up I changed it to a pic of his grandchild I guess. He sat there in awe and then was like "How the hell did you do that??" *rolls eyes* Old people should have simple shit, not that it was that hard to do. All in all, a great time. I cannot wait for the 11th when I see MARTINA MFKN' MCBRIDE!! SOOOO EXCITED!! I'm gonna find a way to get backstage passes to that if it kills me. I HAVE to meet Martina.
A few days ago a wise person told me to "Just face it, it's over. Move on." Those words stung like hell but of course when someone says something it gets embedded into your brain and the wheels start to turn. I was driving home from work on Monday and I had a complete emotional breakdown. I popped in a mixed cd I have of all SJ's karaoke songs that she's recorded and I went into an instant state of peace. I could be as pissed at her as all hell but her voice ALWAYS soothes me. It's hard to explain. The next day I decided it was time to let go, and I told Nikki that. Since then it's almost as our relationship has done a complete 180. We talked like we used to talk when we first started dating. We went the whole day without fighting. It was SO nice. Then yesterday she was being really sweet and pouring her heart out. I don't know where we are at right now. I'm just taking it day by day.
My heart is spread out in so many different places right now. I've got a lot to fix and I can't do it all at once. I'm definitely NOT emotionally capable of handling the month of October at all right now. My Grandpa is slowly slipping away. I swear to God if he dies this month I'm permanently ripping October off the calendar, and taking a month's leave at work every year. No one will see or hear from me until November 1st. I can't take any more death, especially right now. My parents are doing Thanksgiving early so we can have one more holiday with him because they don't think he'll still be alive then. It hurts so much. What really sucks is there's only 2 people in this world who can really comfort me right now and neither of them are here. Everyone says I'm the strongest person they know but my strength is slowly fading. I'm tired of picking myself up from rock bottom. I want someone to reach out and help me. Now that I've reduced myself to tears I'm going to end this.
My concert weekend was a total blast. Brad Paisley was just as crazy in person as he's portrayed to be. As of that night I want Jewel's legs. That bitch is TONED as a motherfucker. Chuck Wicks is my future ex-husband. He is SO adorable!! I wanted to stick around after the concert and meet him but Brad wasn't done til 11:30 and I had to drive all the way home from West Palm Beach, so I left. I got moved from second row to right in front of the stage in the standing room only area because one of the employees there thought I was hot. God, it pays to be blonde!! I got some awesome pictures but LJ is refusing to let me upload them and it's pissing me off. I had even more fun at the Sara Evans' concert. I swear to God she got even more beautiful since the first time I met her a few months ago. My heart is really starting to say "Faith who?" I got stuck sitting between a homely looking girl and an old guy. I was sitting there texting away about how I was sitting by crazy people when the old guy (who wouldn't stop asking me all kinds of stupid questions!) goes "Do you know how to change the background on that thing?" I looked at him like he was nuts and said "Um, yes?" and went back to my texting. Next thing I know he whips out the exact same Blackberry and goes "Would you change it for me please??" So to get him to shut up I changed it to a pic of his grandchild I guess. He sat there in awe and then was like "How the hell did you do that??" *rolls eyes* Old people should have simple shit, not that it was that hard to do. All in all, a great time. I cannot wait for the 11th when I see MARTINA MFKN' MCBRIDE!! SOOOO EXCITED!! I'm gonna find a way to get backstage passes to that if it kills me. I HAVE to meet Martina.
A few days ago a wise person told me to "Just face it, it's over. Move on." Those words stung like hell but of course when someone says something it gets embedded into your brain and the wheels start to turn. I was driving home from work on Monday and I had a complete emotional breakdown. I popped in a mixed cd I have of all SJ's karaoke songs that she's recorded and I went into an instant state of peace. I could be as pissed at her as all hell but her voice ALWAYS soothes me. It's hard to explain. The next day I decided it was time to let go, and I told Nikki that. Since then it's almost as our relationship has done a complete 180. We talked like we used to talk when we first started dating. We went the whole day without fighting. It was SO nice. Then yesterday she was being really sweet and pouring her heart out. I don't know where we are at right now. I'm just taking it day by day.
My heart is spread out in so many different places right now. I've got a lot to fix and I can't do it all at once. I'm definitely NOT emotionally capable of handling the month of October at all right now. My Grandpa is slowly slipping away. I swear to God if he dies this month I'm permanently ripping October off the calendar, and taking a month's leave at work every year. No one will see or hear from me until November 1st. I can't take any more death, especially right now. My parents are doing Thanksgiving early so we can have one more holiday with him because they don't think he'll still be alive then. It hurts so much. What really sucks is there's only 2 people in this world who can really comfort me right now and neither of them are here. Everyone says I'm the strongest person they know but my strength is slowly fading. I'm tired of picking myself up from rock bottom. I want someone to reach out and help me. Now that I've reduced myself to tears I'm going to end this.