Returning Home [Part Five]
Title: Returning Home
Author: gothicxpianist
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Gerard/Frank, Ryan/Brendon
POV: Third
Summary: After going away to college, Gerard comes back after six months to visit for Christmas and finds out his best friend Frank has changed in more ways than one.
Disclaimer: Fake.
Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four
Brendon pulled up to Ryan’s house and knocked on the door, his stomach in knots. After few seconds the door swung open and Brendon stared, silent.
Ryan looked exactly the same as he did a year ago, except his hair was a bit curly now and he had a different fashion sense, dressing in pinstripe pants and vests with flowers and thin scarves. He blinked his honey colored eyes and a slow grin graced his face.
“Hi Brendon.” He said, his voice rich and comforting. Brendon let a small smile glow on his features.
“Hi,” He said, wringing his hands. He kind of expected Ryan to be angry, ask him why he didn’t come home for a year, why he didn’t try harder to stay in touch.
“Why the sudden visit after a whole year?” Ryan questioned, leaning against the door frame. Brendon bit his lip and his eyes shifted down.
He shrugged. “My roommate lives around here and he offered me a place to stay.”
Ryan’s smile shrunk just a bit. “You could’ve stayed with me, you know that.”
Brendon frowned and shook his head. “I didn’t want to burden you or anything.” And it would be awkward around your parents, he didn’t add.
Ryan sighed. “And you’re willing to burden your roommate’s family after knowing him for all of six months and knowing me for practically your whole life?”
Brendon blushed and looked down. “I’m sorry, I just….” Brendon sighed and shook his hair out of his face, blinking his eyes quickly.
Ryan smiled softly. “No, it’s fine. I was kind of upset you didn’t visit for a year. But now that you’re here, well…”
Ryan trailed off, and kind of tugged Brendon forward, hugging him. Brendon smiled and hugged back, remembering Ryan’s familiar scent. They pulled apart and Brendon stepped inside as Ryan motioned him in.
Ryan led him to the couch and they sat down, facing each other. Brendon couldn’t stop smiling and Ryan raised an eyebrow.
“What?” He asked playfully.
Brendon shook his head. “Nothing,” He said. “I just missed you is all.”
Ryan laughed and placed his hand on top of Brendon’s. “I missed you too, like you wouldn’t believe. I’m really happy you’re back, Bren. Even if it’s only for Christmas break.”
Brendon eyed their hands, Ryan’s on top of his and the warmth spreading. Brendon wanted to apologize again, he felt like it was his fault.
“So,” Brendon started. “Have that special someone yet?”
Ryan sighed and shook his head. “Nah, not yet at least. I’m only eighteen, remember?” Ryan joked.
“Wait, eighteen? I thought you were seventeen…” Brendon asked, confused.
Ryan laughed. “My birthday was in august, silly. I just turned eighteen.”
Brendon tried not to let his hope get a hold of him. So if he ever did go out with Ryan, it wouldn’t be illegal now since he was eighteen and Brendon was nineteen. Also, even though Ryan never told him the he was gay, he could probably guess it by the way he dressed back then and now, and the way he acted. Ryan just screamed ‘homosexual’.
Brendon shrugged. “Well I haven’t found anyone yet either. It’s been pretty boring in my love life.”
Ryan smiled and kind of looked down. “So, a lot has been going on since you left.”
Brendon nodded. “Really? Like what?”
“Well, you know I just turned eighteen, and I graduated this year,” Brendon mentally slapped himself. He missed Ryan’s graduation! What kind of best friend was he? “And I’ve been looking around…at apartments.” Ryan finished shyly, trying not to beam.
“Serious? That’s great! Wow, you’re already getting a place of your own. I feel like I’ve been gone for years!” Brendon laughed. Ryan smiled in return.
“So, next time you visit,” Ryan started again. “You can crash at my place.”
Brendon sighed. “Really, I don’t want to burden -”
“Promise me, Brendon. Okay?” Ryan said quietly. “Promise you’ll stay with me. I want your company.”
Brendon’s eyes sparkled and he smiled softly. “Alright.” He said. “Of course I’ll stay with you, if that’s what you really want.”
“It is.” Ryan said, grinning.
Ryan offered him something to drink and Brendon accepted. Ryan came back and they spent the day talking about nothing in particular, acting like they were before.
Brendon left later that night, his feelings still bottled up and waiting to burst.
--
Frank leaned his forehead against his knees as he curled up under the tree at the pond.
Fuck
The feeling of Tony’s throat throbbing for air under his fingers pulsed through him and he kept telling himself he should’ve done it, he should’ve.
How did Mikey even find him, and why did he even care?
Frank wanted to rip something apart, destroy something, kill something. He closed his eyes and tried to relax. He tried not to be angry, tried to be calm.
He was mad at Gerard, he was mad at Tony, he was mad at his parents, he was mad at himself. He was just plain mad.
Frank buried his head in his arms and sat there until the sky got dark and the streetlights went on and the windows lit up and his eyes were dried out.
--
Gerard looked over to the front door as he heard it open and close. Mikey walked in the room and his face looked like it was shocked, stricken, sick. Mikey was paler than usual and he was gripping his bag straps tight, until his knuckles turned white. Gerard furrowed his eyebrows.
“Hey Mikey, what’s wrong?” Gerard asked, trying to not force out his words. Mikey shook his head.
“I can’t,” He said. He cleared his throat. “I can’t believe this.”
He went upstairs silently and Gerard blinked, confused
He shook his head and tried to hold out until he went back to college.
--
Ryan mentioned that he worked at the local library after he finished his classes at school, being a senior now and Brendon decided he would go visit him.
He walked inside and looked around, trying to scout out Ryan. He walked down the aisles and finally found Ryan in the cook book section.
Brendon stood, leaning on the shelf and kind of watching Ryan work.
Ryan was staring intently at the book in his hands, reading the spine and putting it back where it started. He had to reach up high and he went on his tip toes and strained his arm. His button up shirt rode up, revealing a pale sliver of skin. Finally getting the book on the shelf, he came back down and grabbed the next one, not even noticing Brendon staring.
Brendon knocked lightly on the wooden shelf, and Ryan turned to look at him. He smiled as he saw Brendon.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” Ryan asked, hugging the “Vegetarian’s Paradise” cook book to his chest.
Brendon shrugged. “Got bored, just thought I’d come visit.” Ryan nodded, his eyes twinkling.
They stood in a comfortable silence before Ryan motioned for Brendon to move closer. “Well, we could talk while I put away these books until my break comes.” Brendon nodded and stepped closer, leaning back on the shelf.
Ryan softly hummed as he worked, looking at the books, putting them on the shelf, and then repeating.
Brendon didn’t know what to say. He stayed silent and picked at his cuticles. Ryan eyed him quickly and placed another book back. Suddenly Ryan dropped a book. He muttered ‘shit’ under his breath and was about to bend down and get it.
“I’ll get it.” Brendon offered, reaching down to grab the book. On his way up, he bumped his head on a shelf and stumbled back. “Ow, fuck.” Brendon cursed, looking up at Ryan.
Ryan was giggling behind his fingers, obviously trying not to laugh. Brendon stood and up just couldn’t help it. “You’re adorable.” Brendon blurted, rubbing the back of his head. Ryan stopped laughing and kind of stared at Brendon, his cheeks coloring a dark shade of pink.
He blinked and looked down, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “Um, you really think so?”
Brendon laughed. “Well, your not helping matters by being all shy and precious like that.”
Ryan smiled into his shoulder and avoided Brendon’s eyes. Brendon grinned and hooked his fingers into Ryan’s belt loops, tugging him closer. Ryan stumbled a bit and placed a hand on Brendon’s shoulder to steady himself. Brendon looked into Ryan’s sparkling eyes.
He placed a soft kiss on the tip of Ryan’s nose. Ryan blushed but didn’t look away. “You’re too sweet,” He said instead.
“Can you tell I’ve been helplessly in love ever since I laid eyes on you?” Brendon whispered into Ryan’s ear. Ryan dropped his forehead onto Brendon’s shoulder and laughed softly.
“Well, all I can say is you’ve been hiding it very well.”
Brendon moved one of his hands to Ryan’s lower back, pressing them flush together. Ryan tilted his head up and ghosted his lips over Brendon’s. Brendon slowly pressed their lips together and breathed out through his nose, taking in the sensation. Ryan pressed back equally as much and ran his tongue along Brendon’s bottom lip. Ryan grabbed fistfuls of Brendon’s pale pink jacket and tugged him closer. Ryan softly grabbed Brendon’s bottom lip between his teeth as they broke apart, then letting go.
They grinned at each other and Brendon slipped his fingers beneath the hem of Ryan’s shirt, rubbing the bare skin. Ryan sighed softly and wrapped his arms fully around Brendon’s shoulders, burying his face in his neck.
They stayed like that for a few minutes, just holding each other and trying to make up for all the missed years they could’ve been doing this.
“I should get back to work.” Ryan whispered into Brendon’s skin. Brendon made a noise of protest.
“But this is so much more fun.” He said, still rubbing Ryan’s hip. Ryan smiled.
“I know,” He said, pulling back and looking at Brendon. “But how about you come pick me up at my house tonight at 7. I’ll let you take me out.” Ryan giggled.
“Oh, really now?” Brendon smirked. “You’ll let me take you out, will you? Well, it would be my honor.”
Ryan pulled back all the way and stepped back to the shelves of books, grabbing the next one off the cart. “See you tonight at 7. Don’t be late.”
Brendon winked. “I don’t plan on it, sugar.”
-
Gerard locked himself in his room for the next few days. Christmas was soon and then he’ll have to go back to college until probably summer started. He spent most of his days pacing and drawing, maybe listening to some music, maybe (rarely) going down to get something to eat.
Brendon had been almost slap happy ever since he shared his confession with Ryan. Almost every night since then they’d go out and see a movie, or eat dinner, or sometimes just walk in the park, fingers intertwined and sharing soft kisses.
Brendon would often come in Gerard’s room with his guitar late at night while he was drawing or pacing or doing whatever he did. He’d sing him some Counting Crows or Smashing Pumpkins and sometimes Gerard would softly sing along.
It was Sunday was Gerard was sitting on his bed, counting the lines on his hand then messing up and having to start all over. He heard a knock and he looked up, seeing Mikey saunter into the room.
He sat in Gerard’s desk chair and looked intently at his brother.
“My Christmas break starts tomorrow,” Mikey said, tilting his head to the side. Gerard nodded idly.
“Yeah,” He said. “Got anything planned with your drama friends?”
Mikey shrugged. “I’m….taking a break.” It sounded like it was hard for him to say that, admit it really. Gerard raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Everything was a little weird at the time and Mikey ditching his stuck up drama group for a week wasn’t anything surprising really.
Mikey sighed. “Well,” He said, unsure. “I’m also inviting Frank to our Christmas family night.”
Gerard froze. “Huh? You’re not even friends with him, what the fuck?”
Mikey shrugged again, stiffly. “We’ve got a bit in common.” With that he left, leaving Gerard on his bed, fucking confused and pissed and excited all at the same time. Mostly pissed though.
-
“Honey, help me put up some decorations on the tree.” Gerard’s mother yelled up to him. “You’ve been like a hermit in your room the whole time you’ve been back!”
Gerard groaned and rolled over in his bed, looking at his clock. 9 AM. Fucking wonderful.
He dragged himself out of bed and didn’t bother to change out of his pajama pants and over sized tee shirt, going downstairs looking like shit.
His mother beamed at him, holding up a shiny round ornament with Gerard’s first Christmas scrawled on it. She held it carefully and placed it right on the front of the tree for everyone to see.
She sighed dreamily. “I remember when you were just a baby, and I held you in my lap as I wrote those words on the ornament. You kicked and screamed and made me drop it on the floor!” She laughed, touching the scratch in the orb. “But it was all worth it, seeing you a young man in college right now.”
She turned to him and grinned, going for the next newspaper-wrapped fragile. Gerard sauntered over and grabbed one out of the box, helping her in silence.
By 11, Mikey had been ordered by his mother to come help them too. He shoved on his glasses and helped Gerard and Ms. Way decorate the tree.
Suddenly Mikey laughed and Gerard and Ms. Way turned to him. He giggled and held up a picture frame made out of popsicle sticks. The photo in the center was of Gerard at age 7, his nose scrunched up and paint splattering his face. Gerard grabbed the ornament and studied it before laughing himself.
“I remember that day,” He said. “That was when mom gave me my first set of paints!”
Their mother laughed along with them. “Yes it was. And look what the mess paid off! A handsome, blooming artist!”
From that moment on, they each reminisced with every ornament and laughed, being a family for the first time since Gerard left. It was a good feeling.
-Part Six