Returning Home [Part Six] - Final Part
Title: Returning Home
Author: gothicxpianist
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Gerard/Frank, Ryan/Brendon
POV: Third
Summary: After going away to college, Gerard comes back after six months to visit for Christmas and finds out his best friend Frank has changed in more ways than one.
Disclaimer: Fake.
A/N: So, this is the final part! Wow, I started this in the middle of July at JBA. I just finished it tonight and I couldn't wait to post it. I hope you like it Johnny!
Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five
Gerard roamed around the grocery store, looking for anything remotely Christmas-y. Well, actually that was a lie because more than half of the store was decked out and made up with Christmas foods and treats. Mostly he was looking for anything remotely appetizing.
He was doing some Christmas shopping for his mother, buying food and stuff for their family night thing on Christmas Eve. He piled his cart with cookies and chips and fruit platters. He personally thought he was buying way to much stuff for three people (well, now four including Frank, but Gerard would rather not think about that). His mom gave him a couple hundred dollars and told him to go crazy, so that’s exactly what he did.
He was browsing up and down the isles and came across a rack of jewelry. He paused and scanned it, maybe thinking of something for his mom. Towards the bottom there was this necklace. There was only one left and he picked it up, bringing it closer to his face. It was thin silver chain with flat circle hanging off. Engraved in the circle was a sentence, shaped so that it was going in a spiral around the small shape.
He blinked once, hard, as he read the words. He held it tightly in his fingers and stood there, staring at it for a few moments. He took a deep breath in and set it on top of a package of red and green paper plates in his cart. He headed for the check out.
-
Frank’s phone was ringing noisily and blinked as he looked at the unknown number on his screen. He bit his lip, but answered anyways.
“Hello?” He said quietly.
“Um, hi Frank.” A voice said, sounding oddly familiar.
“Um who is -”
“Mikey. It’s Mikey.”
Frank blinked and he suddenly turned pissed off. This was the guy who stopped him from killing that asshole. But he was also the guy that stopped him from getting in big fucking trouble.
“What do you want?” Frank asked, calmly. Well, at least he thought it was calm.
“I was wondering,” Mikey started. “um, if you’d like to come to my house for Christmas eve tonight. You know, to hang out and stuff.”
Frank raised and eyebrow. “Hang out?”
“Yeah.”
Frank sighed over the line. He doesn’t just hang out with Mikey Way, the brother of the guy he’s in love with that broke his fucking heart.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” Frank said instead.
Mikey sighed too. “Look,” He said. “I know you can be an asshole sometimes and you can make some really stupid choices, but I know that if you don’t come over, you’ll be spending Christmas Eve locked in your room, being miserable.”
Frank waited patiently. Surely that can’t be it.
“And even I know that you deserve more than that.” Mikey finished quietly, in almost a whisper.
Frank blinked, took a deep breath. “Okay.”
For some reason, some strange profound, undetectable reason, those words changed his mind. Maybe Mikey Way wasn’t so bad after all.
-
Gerard was in his room when the door bell rang. He paused, his pencil hovering over his paper.
The door opened and he faintly heard Mikey saying ‘hi’. And then it came. Gerard heard his voice and he let his head bang on his desk. God how he fucking missed that voice.
He shut his sketchbook and breathed in a deep breath, standing up. He straightened out the black button up shirt his mom forced him to put on and walked downstairs in his bright pink socks and dark blue skinny jeans.
He turned the corner and saw Frank sitting stiffly on the couch, in a red blazer and jeans with holes in the knees even though it was snowing outside. His cheeks were slowly losing the pink color from the cold and he had on black socks with green flamingos. Gerard’s mom made it a rule that you have to take off your shoes before you walked into her house.
Gerard was faintly wondering how Mikey convinced Frank to come, because he thought that Frank would be exceptionally pissed at him.
He took a seat in the oversized armchair across from Frank, closest to the tree and let himself sink in, tucking his chin into his shoulder and bringing his knees up to his chest, trying to look as small as possible.
Ms. Way walked in holding a tray of sweets and she grinned as she placed them on the coffee table. “Well,” She said happily. “Hello there, Frank! It’s been a while hasn’t it?”
Frank looked up at being addressed and nodded. “Yeah, it has really.”
“No matter, we’ve missed you!”
Frank couldn’t help but smile. Ms. Way has always been incredibly nice, being more of a mother to him than his ever was. He looked around and frowned.
“Um, where’s Brendon?” Frank asked, almost hesitant at addressing Gerard.
Gerard shrugged. “He’s spending Christmas Eve with Ryan, his friend, the one he came home to visit in the first place.”
Frank nodded and looked back in his lap.
The night passed slowly, but fun none the less. Except for the fact that Frank and Gerard didn’t exchange one word to each other the whole night.
They watched a few old Christmas films and they exchanged gifts. Ms. Way of course didn’t forget Frank, getting him an iTunes gift card and a huge plate of home made brownies which Frank thanked her profusely for the whole night, saying she didn’t need to get him anything.
Soon it was time for Frank to get home, and he stood up and stretched.
“Thank you so much Ms. Way,” Frank said as he put his blazer back on. He turned to Mikey. “And thanks for inviting me, dude.”
Mikey smiled. “No problem. It was fun.”
Frank nodded in agreement and put his scarf back on. He slipped his chucks on and walked out the door, Mikey shutting it behind him.
Gerard waited approximately 4 seconds before sighing and grabbing the small square box with the red bow on top and rushing outside in his socks and short sleeved dress shirt. He almost slipped on the porch as he saw Frank walking down the driveway.
“Frank!” Gerard called, leaning over the railing of the porch.
Frank turned around and his eyes widened at seeing Gerard. He was about to keep on walking and ignore him, but for some reason he couldn’t turn away from him. Frank though it had something to do with the way his heart was beating ten times faster.
Gerard walked slowly out to the snow covered driveway, the crystals soaking into his socks and making him shiver. He finally came face to face with Frank, looking straight into the shiny chocolate orbs he fell in love with.
“I, uh,” Gerard started, staring at Frank, eyes darting down to his lips then back up to his eyes. “I got you this.”
He held the small box in the palm of his hand, the red bow on top being sprinkled in white snow flakes, as was Frank’s dark hair. Gerard wanted to just brush them away, and maybe bury his fingers in his dark locks for a little, and hug him to his chest and - okay maybe he should stop.
Frank eyed the box and his heart gave a little leap. He looked back at Gerard and frowned. “Why?” He asked quietly.
Gerard gulped. “Pleas just…open it?”
Frank sighed but carefully grabbed the box, untying the ribbon and letting it flutter to the ground in the snow, the velvet soaking in the water.
He removed the lid and placed it under the box, staring inside. There was a lone silver necklace and Frank furrowed his eyebrows, picking it up.
He turned over the circle on it and spun it around as he read the engraving. His eyes widened and he dropped the box completely, leaving the necklace hanging from his fingers.
He was frozen, staring at the silver shape with the sentence engraved. He sniffed a bit from the cold and flipped the piece of jewelry over a few times, getting a feel for it and trying not to let it soak in, but it was too late. He looked up and saw the boy who stole his heart. Gerard’s hazel eyes stared nervously into his own, flecks of snow caught in his dark eyelashes and his lips almost blue from standing out in the cold with just a thin shirt on, pants, and no shoes.
When Frank said nothing, Gerard stepped a bit closer. “I’ll always love you.” He whispered, reaching up and brushing some snow from Frank’s hair. Frank gasped and bit his lip, his eyes watering up.
He shook his head and turned around, running away and leaving Gerard standing frozen on the driveway. The velvet ribbon and black box stood out on the white ground where Frank dropped them. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to let the words of the necklace clutched in his cold hand make him have a total breakdown.
People think it’s holding on that makes you stronger, but sometimes it’s letting go.
-
“No, no, you’re not leaving me, you’re not!” Frank screamed to no one in particular, banging his fists into the cold ground as he crouched over it, breathing heavily. “I…I need you…” He finished lamely, rubbing his eyes furiously. He pressed his forehead to the ground and lay there, unmoving and numb.
His mind was racing, back to all the moments they shared before everything, before college before this.
He tried to think about happy things; Gerard’s hair, Gerard’s scent, his cologne. They way he bites his lip when he’s nervous, his smile, his voice, the shade of pink he turns when he’s embarrassed, his favorite flavor of coffee at the coffee shop a couple blocks away; his messy room and cluttered car with no air conditioning, his skin, his beautiful hazel eyes….Gerard…
-
Brendon threw his suit case in Ms. Way’s trunk before going over to Ryan and taking both of his hands. He ran his thumbs along Ryan’s knuckles and leaned forward, placing a kiss on his nose. Ryan smiled shyly and switched their hands so they were laced, each finger fitting perfectly together.
“I can’t wait to see you soon,” Brendon said quietly, grinning.
Since Ryan graduated already and was just working at the library, he was looking for a college to go to also. Brendon suggested a college near him and Ryan immediately looked up Journalism courses in Las Vegas, preferably close to Brendon.
It happened as quick as that and soon Ryan and Brendon will be sharing an apartment with part time jobs (Brendon as a pianist for the local Jazz bar and Ryan writing and taking pictures for articles online). Gerard said he didn’t mind that Brendon was moving out of the dorm by next semester, as long as they could hang out often.
While Brendon and Ryan were engaged in hushed whispers and occasional kisses, Gerard piled his shit into the trunk also and sighed, leaning against the mail box. He blinked and tried not to let his lip quiver with thoughts of Frank. He knew it couldn’t happen; he was way to old. He just thought he could say goodbye to Frank in the most caring way, letting him know that he will always love him; because it’s true. Gerard will always love Frank, no matter what.
He was mostly sad that Frank just ran off. Gerard couldn’t stand breaking his heart, but he had to be the more responsible one and not let them happen. Frank didn’t need to get into any more trouble.
Gerard hated this. He hated this so fucking much. He needed to let go and forget about everything, because he’ll probably never see Frank ever again.
A lone tear made it’s way down his cheek as he heard his mother call to them it was time to go. He looked over to see Brendon and Ryan sharing one last long and tender kiss before breaking apart with matching smiles, knowing they would see each other soon.
He sniffed and hugged his sides, trying to get a little warmer inside; preferably in his heart.
As Brendon climbed into the car, Ryan waved and got into his, driving off. Mikey crawled into the front seat and went back to texting again.
Gerard rubbed his eye and opened the car door when he heard his name, if faintly. His head jerked up and he spun around, seeing a figure dressed in black running down the street. Gerard squinted and then saw the familiar red finger less gloves and his heart literally stopped.
“Frank,” Gerard whispered, walking in the middle of the street. He couldn’t make his legs move very fast, as they were frozen from shock, but soon the black figure hurdled itself into Gerard and flung it’s arms around his neck. Frank breathed heavily into his cold skin and Gerard could feel hot wet tears staining his jacket.
“Gerard, Gerard, I’m sorry, so fucking sorry..” Frank whispered, fast and hushed. Gerard was still trying to think if this was real or not, but when he looked down and saw the silver chain on Frank’s neck, it all fell into place.
He gripped Frank’s back, pressing them closer together and fisting his hands into the black jacket. Frank’s arms were locked so tight around his neck that he was on his tip toes and practically hanging off Gerard. Gerard held his warm body and wanted to look at his face and wipe away the tears, but Frank wouldn’t budge. He was locked into place and Gerard really couldn’t protest, because he was shedding tears too, the water falling onto Frank’s hair.
Frank was sobbing loudly and brokenly, the sounds being muffled by his face being smashed into Gerard’s shoulder. His shoulders shook and heaved and all Gerard could do was hold them tightly and try to keep him still, keep him from crumbling away.
“I…” Frank started, his voice thick. “I don’t want you to go, be - because if you do, I’ll never…” He trailed off, squeezing harder. “If I can’t be with you….”
Gerard shushed him, his own voice shaking. “Hush, Frankie….I know, I know.”
They both knew the truth. They didn’t want to believe it, to think of it. After this, they could never see each other ever again. Their love was too fucking strong, and if they saw each other again, it couldn’t be controlled. It was just easier for them to move on and forget. Just move on and forget.
Finally Frank stood back, bringing his hands down to grip Gerard’s. Gerard squeezed back and stepped a bit closer. Frank’s eyes were red and puffy and his cheeks were wet. His eyes were shiny and open and vulnerable; Gerard almost changed his mind. Almost.
“I,” Frank said strongly, if a little shakily. “I will always fucking love you, Gerard Way. Don’t ever fucking forget that.”
Gerard’s breath hitched. Finally, those words he’s been longing to hear Frank say to him. Those words he’s been dying to hear from Frank’s mouth, and it was way fucking better than he could’ve ever imagined.
Frank gripped Gerard’s hands tight, and leaned up. His lips were cold and soft and sweet and everything Gerard remembered about them. His tears fell into their open mouths and the salty wet taste mingled with the true taste that was always between them.
The taste of love.
The kiss was slow and warm and just so perfect that Gerard had to break for air and tuck some hair behind Frank’s ears to just see the boy he fell in love with, see him looking at him like that for one last time.
Their lips crashed again and Frank stumbled forwards, gripping Gerard’s face in his small, fifteen year old hands. He held his face so tight you would think they were molded together.
Finally after their breathing was so labored they felt dizzy, they stood apart. Eyes wide and loving and wet and home. Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank and lifted him up, hugging him as tight as possible while Frank hung off his neck and kissed his cheek, sweet and hard.
Gerard’s mother didn’t want to, but they were going to miss their flight; she honked the horn and Gerard breathed in one last longing scent of Frank before gently pushing him away, giving him a quick tender kiss, and wiping his eyes quickly and rushing to the car. He got in and hung his head. Brendon gripped his hand and Gerard squeezed, hard. He didn’t even turn back to watch Frank as they drove away.
Frank stood there, weak and heartbroken. He sniffed and watched the car the boy he’d die for in it drive away.
On his walk home, he gripped the circle on the chain around his neck the whole way, repeating the sentence over and over again and trying to make himself not numb, to not feel this pain and heartbreak.
He didn’t want to feel anything ever again.
~fin