i am actually updating
Hey everyone. I know I haven’t updated in 50 4evers. Well a lot has been happening lately but it’s too much to write about. I went to discipleship camp last weekend. I felt like I was there for no reason. God didn’t really touch me until the last day (Sunday jan.16) I have been depressed lonesome and just plain ol pissed off for forever. When God touched me Sunday I felt free from all that, and I felt like all of my burdens had been lifted. I am trying to get closer to God. it’s really hard though. I feel like I had been not really absolutely away from God but kinda fallen for a while and I know that I wasn’t where I should have been with God and that I could have been a lot closer. I wish I could write down all of the stuff that I want to write down but I cant b/c I am afraid that champ (my uncle/guardian) will see it and my parents don’t need to know about everything that I feel. I have still been pissed off and stressed out and depressed as usual but I am trying to get over things. I was watching American History X the other night and I took to heart a phrase that was said. “ Life is too short to walk around pissed off all the time” which is very true. I mean I could die tomorrow, unhappy and lonely. I never feel like I am good enough for anything. One thing I hate about school is when ever u have to read aloud. Man I hate that. I am so self-conscience and have such low self-esteem. I can read great I just hate my voice and the way I sound and that makes me nervous and I get my words all jumbled up and I feel like no one can understand me. Which they cant sometimes.
I got this really cool trench coat. It is awesome. I got it from hot topic of course. It’s black and it comes to my feet it zips up from really high up on my thighs to my chest. It has, well I don’t know how to explain it. Those belts with the metal rings around the holes that usually has a line of 2. Anyways its got 3 of those strips, they go from my stomach around to my back and those little metal hole thingies drop vertically when it goes to my back and it goes all the way down to my feet. And it also laces up in the back. I love it! All they had was an extra large and a medium and guess what size I needed, a large, of course. The medium looked better on me so I got it. I hope I don’t gain 5 pounds anytime soon cause I might not be able to fit in it then. I cant zip it all the way up or my boobs look like pancakes, lol. I called the store and they said they would try to order a large from another store. It had a tag on it that said that it couldn’t be removed or worn but both of those have happened. Hopefully they wont be able to tell and I can rig the tags back on. Not to mention yesterday when I wore it. I was putting sour cream in a cup for peter at lunch and it was the squeeze out kind and then it busted the end that was facing me and came through all over my brand new jacket and all in my hair on my shirt, everywhere. It was funny of course but now u can tell that it has been worn. I am gonna try to clean it up. I hope that I can exchange it. Well I guess I will go I am in the library at school. I am supposed to be working on a career project but I am done and I don’t wanna do some English computer crap so “I am finishing my project. = > “ laterz everone and God Bless. o yeah, my birthday was th 12th. yippy skippy i am 17!
Heather Michelle