rooftop
title: rooftop
pairing: jackson/jr
rating: nc-17
summary: every day, they meet on the rooftop of their high school.
notes: for lahdeedah000 :)
"Did you know your name means Precious Pride in Chinese?" Jinyoung hears one day, lying on the school rooftop with his eyes closed and the afternoon sun beating down on his skin pleasantly.
He squints open one eye to see Jackson Wang from his class, his face partially eclipsed by the starburst of the sun, so dazzling that Jinyoung's eyes sting and water. He blinks and when he opens them again, Jackson has shifted slightly so his head is now almost completely blocking out the sun, shielding Jinyoung's face and casting a cool shadow over him.
Jinyoung slowly props himself up on his elbows and gets into a sitting position, slightly confused. Jackson had transferred to their school at the beginning of sophomore year but although they were classmates, they had never spoken directly before. Jinyoung can't deny that this is partially deliberate, because he had felt an inexplicably intense dislike for Jackson the moment he laid eyes on him.
Jinyoung has never really given a thought as to the reasons why. Jackson is simply one of those people who are easy to hate, because he is loud-mouthed and obnoxious and annoying, like an incessantly buzzing gnat.
But maybe Jinyoung's hostile feelings have a more selfish and unmentionable source. He doesn't like to brag, but it was a fact that before Jackson's unwelcome arrival, Jinyoung had undeniably been the most popular boy in class, if not in their grade. He was popular with both guys and girls, most females nursing a crush on him and most males eager to be his friend. Jinyoung had taken the attention for granted, but only realized how much when he lost it.
Jinyoung doesn't understand Jackson's appeal. Jackson is about as subtle as an atomic bomb, crass and insensitive. He's not as smart or tall as Jinyoung and his Korean is embarrassingly poor. The only reason Jinyoung can come up with is that Jackson is fascinating to the other students because he's from abroad.
Quietly harbouring these threatened feelings of rivalry, Jinyoung had gone out of his way to avoid Jackson. He made sure never to meet his eyes even when they brushed past each other in class, and always surrounded himself with his diminished but still impressive circle of adoring friends.
Still, occasionally, Jinyoung couldn't help noticing out of the corner of his eye Jackson's ridiculous antics, the way he seemed to be able to make people laugh effortlessly. It made Jinyoung curl his lip with even more contempt, dismissing Jackson as a basic attention-seeker. Jinyoung felt superior when he pondered that the conversations Jackson had and the thoughts in his head couldn't be as deep and profound as Jinyoung's. Jinyoung was well-liked not only by his classmates, but by the teachers too for being a model student. In contrast, Jackson didn't seem to care much about his grades and Jinyoung disdained him even more for it.
In this way, Jinyoung had passed the first few months of sophomore year without ever interacting with Jackson. His popularity had waned a little but he was still reasonably popular, and Jinyoung reconciled himself to the fact that he'd have to put up with Jackson's annoying presence in the class, always hovering in the periphery of his vision. The only thing he could do was to swear that he would never talk to him if he could help it.
All had been going according to plan, until today when Jinyoung had uncharacteristically decided to cut class. For some reason he himself couldn't put a finger on, he was feeling mildly moody today. The dark and gloomy feeling niggled at the back of his mind the whole day, dragging his heart down like a paperweight.
At break, the overcast feeling had started feeling more like a brewing storm cloud, and Jinyoung just couldn't bring himself to face another whole afternoon of lessons. So he had unobtrusively slunk out of the class and down the empty corridors as the bell signalling the end of break rang, meandering directionlessly and absently up the staircase. He was a little surprised at how easily he had been able to escape without anyone detaining him, even though just a few minutes ago he had been surrounded by a group of enthusiastically chattering friends. They had seemed excited enough to banter and joke with him, but not perceptive enough to notice when he had disappeared.
Jinyoung feels an oddly bereft feeling in his chest at the realization of how dispensable he was. Maybe those people he had called his friends for a year were not actually as close to him as he had thought.
Jinyoung tries to cast these depressing thoughts from his mind as he finds his feet bringing him to the rooftop of the school. He has never been up here before, usually too busy mingling with friends in the crowded areas like the cafeteria and class to visit deserted and quiet areas of the school like this.
But when he climbs up the last step and pushes open the door, stepping into the gently warm sunlight, the tranquility feels strangely soothing, a not unpleasant change from the usual boisterous rowdiness he is used to. Jinyoung tentatively scans the dulled granite of the rooftop and is relieved to see no one in sight. He can hear the drone of a teacher's voice from the third floor classrooms below, the tangible midday sleepiness permeating the air and making him yawn.
Jinyoung resolutely cleanses his mind of all thoughts and climbs up the ladder onto the top of the water tank, settling down heavily and stretching out his body like a cat basking in the sun. He closes his eyes.
After what feels like a few minutes, as Jinyoung is drifting into a comfortable shallow doze, he is startled awake by the aforementioned question ringing out above him.
His eyes fly open to see Jackson Wang looming over him, studying him with inquisitive eyes. Jinyoung hastily sits up, his guard coming up immediately, the familiar irritation rising in his stomach.
But he skilfully keeps the testy edge out of his voice as he says blankly, "What are you doing here?"
Jackson hunkers down beside him abruptly without any invitation, and Jinyoung instinctively shifts on his haunches, leaning away. Jackson doesn't seem to notice his displeasure at the invasion of his personal space, frustratingly dense and oblivious as he replies easily, "I noticed you ditching class."
Jinyoung thinks he hears a hint of mocking, of smugness in Jackson's imprecise but confident Korean. He bristles.
"I wasn't ditching!"
Jackson's eyes widen as they look at him, and he laughs out loud, bold and ringing in the silence. Jinyoung flushes despite himself.
"If you say so," Jackson drawls blandly, and Jinyoung glares at him, no longer bothering to hide his loathing.
"Are you ditching?" he snaps, and Jackson looks surprised by the icy tone in his voice.
But he quickly recovers and smiles slickly. "Totally." He meets Jinyoung's eyes with a glint of challenge, as if he has gotten the upper hand by admitting it.
Jinyoung resists the urge to roll his eyes. "I don't care," he says, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Can you leave me alone?"
Jackson's smile wavers for the briefest instant, but he doesn't seem to hear Jinyoung's blatant rudeness as he ignores the question and repeats his initial statement. "Did you know that your Chinese name is Zhenrong? Zhen means precious, and Rong means pride."
Jackson's eyes shine like he's sharing a revelation, like Jinyoung is supposed to be impressed.
Jinyoung does roll his eyes this time. "How the hell do you know my Chinese name?" he demands without embellishment.
Jackson laughs, but the fair skin of his good-looking face pinkens curiously. "Your hangul name was written on the board when you had to do duty. I converted it to Chinese characters."
"That's creepy as fuck," Jinyoung retorts, lip curling in a sneer. He feels a bitterness in his throat that Jackson had apparently been interested in his name, and had been paying attention to him all this while. He wonders how to extricate himself from this situation. Jinyoung is no stranger to being pestered by unwanted admirers, but he had never expected himself to have to fend off his arch-nemesis.
Jackson looks a little uncomfortable at Jinyoung's nastiness, his smile slipping awkwardly but remaining impressively unflagging. He cheerfully pretends not to hear Jinyoung's answer, instead reclining with his hands clasped behind his head and a gusty sigh.
Jinyoung stares at him, unable to believe his utter shamelessness. He has made himself more than clear that Jackson's company is unwelcome, but the other is still lolling on the ground beside him like he doesn't give a fuck.
But for some reason, Jinyoung remains rooted to the ground, not getting to his feet and walking away, as far from Jackson as he can. He tells himself that he's too tired to, and besides he came here first and doesn't have to be chased away by Jackson. But as he sidles to the corner of the water tank, putting more space between them and lies down again on the sun-warmed granite, turning on his side so he doesn't have to face Jackson, he finds himself thinking about the information Jackson has just given him.
He had vaguely been aware that Jackson was Chinese in ethnicity, even though he was mostly heard speaking in English (which in Jinyoung's humble opinion, was pretentiously accented). He loved showing off his English and that was one of the things that Jinyoung abhorred most about him. His own English was pretty fluent, but he never bragged or flaunted it unnecessarily. Jinyoung prided himself on his modesty, on keeping a low profile. He felt that he was as classy as Jackson was unrefined.
"Why are you telling me this?" he blurts out in frustration, the words leaving his mouth before he can even think them over. Immediately, he bites his tongue regretfully, wishing he had kept his big mouth shut and not given Jackson any further encouragement.
Jinyoung doesn't turn around and Jackson doesn't answer for so many beats that Jinyoung thinks he is not going to, or has fallen asleep. But then Jackson says quietly, his voice unexpectedly warm, "I thought you looked sad."
Jinyoung resolutely zips his mouth shut for the rest of the afternoon. They lie on top of the water tank in stilted silence, occasionally interrupted by the cawing of birds soaring overhead and the ever-present muffled drone of the teacher's voice from the third floor. Jackson doesn't leave, but he doesn't try to initiate further conversation.
Jinyoung doesn't leave, either. He just lies there and lets the exhaustion and stress seep out of his body, emptying his mind of all thoughts and feelings. The sky above is a neverending ceiling of white-blue, and Jinyoung feels an odd, new sense of peace stealing over him gradually. His chaotic thoughts seem to slow down, Jackson's presence ceasing to bother him as much as before. It's funny but when he's not talking, Jackson is a lot less annoying. The only indication that he's still lying on the water tank a few feet away is the barely audible rise and fall of his languid breathing, a lullaby which is oddly calming to Jinyoung's ears.
Jinyoung falls asleep for a second time, and jerks awake when the dismissal bell rings loudly, blinking in groggy disorientation. When he remembers where he is, he immediately spins around, his stomach twisting with relief to see the water tank now empty, Jackson gone without a trace. Jinyoung would've convinced himself he had imagined the whole encounter except for the sight of a crumpled cigarette butt, half-crumbled to ashes, lying on the scarred, aged granite where Jackson had been sitting.
Jinyoung unwittingly conjures up an image of Jackson sitting behind him, smoking and watching him quietly as he slept. It makes a shudder of distaste curl his toes and Jinyoung groans as he climbs down the ladder and drearily makes his way back to the classroom to get his bag and leave school.
A week later, Jinyoung finds his feet leading him back to the rooftop, climbing up the water tank with bated breath. He feels a surge of discomfort when he sees someone already there, dangling his legs over the sides and staring into the horizon.
Jackson turns at his footsteps, looking unsurprised to see him, and not completely peeved at being disrupted. Jinyoung wonders if Jackson actually... likes him, or at least doesn't mind his presence. He wonders if he has been reading all the signals wrong and Jackson doesn't actually detest Jinyoung as much as Jinyoung detests him. Maybe he even wants to be his friend.
Jinyoung gulps at the thought. Can Jackson really be so utterly impervious to Jinyoung's obvious and undisguised dislike for him? Had he not one ounce of shame? He was truly one of a kind, Jinyoung thinks scornfully, shaking his head.
Jackson turns around again at that very moment, catching the gesture, and looks confused for a second before his lips curl up in a hesitant smile. "Are you okay?" he breaks the silence, and Jinyoung stops cold, completely flustered because that was not what he was expecting Jackson to say.
"None of your business," he shoots back gruffly as he flings himself down at the opposite end of the water tank, as far away from Jackson as possible. He feels the familiar disquiet Jackson invokes in him, and has the overpowering urge to climb down the ladder and run as far away as he can from the rooftop. But something that he cannot explain keeps him exactly where he is.
Jackson doesn't say anything, and Jinyoung can't see his expression either since their backs are facing each other. He wonders why he's so curious about how Jackson's face looks right now, why he even cares.
The jitters continue tormenting Jinyoung as he fumes silently, staring unseeingly into the distance and feeling Jackson's presence behind him, but they eventually settle down like butterflies going into slumber in his stomach. He wants to say something barbed and stinging about him having discovered the water tank and the rooftop first, and that Jackson should get the fuck off his back, but he's too tired to even be snarky.
As long as Jackson keeps his mouth shut, Jinyoung can almost pretend he's not there. He sighs in discontent and pillows his head on his clasped palms, leaning back to let his tense body rest on the sun-baked asphalt. The warmth seeps through his thin uniform shirt, relaxing the muscles in his back and settling a drowsiness over him.
His eyelids droop and flutter closed and when Jinyoung wakes up, the sun is sinking in the horizon and Jackson is nowhere to be seen again. This time, there isn't even a stray cigarette butt to remind Jinyoung that it wasn't a daydream.
A few days later, Jinyoung finds himself back at the rooftop again, his heart pattering an uneven rhythm against his chest -- with exertion, he tells himself -- as he ascends the rungs of the ladder.
A sinking feeling weighs on his heart when he sees the top of the water tank deserted this time. The drab, dilapidated small square looks even more desolate without Jackson's unwanted presence. Jinyoung realizes he should probably be feeling more happy than he is that his wish of being alone is finally fulfilled, but he feels unaccountably empty as he flings himself down grouchily on the middle of the tank and splays his legs out defiantly. He's going to enjoy this rare freedom if he can help it.
Jinyoung is feeling increasingly bored and lonely, rolling disconsolately onto his side when he feels someone nudging at his back and his heart leaps into his throat. He swivels around, sitting up, to see Jackson wearing an apprehensive smile and his creased, untidy uniform with the noose of his tie loosened over the undone top button of his shirt and his shirttails falling out sloppily. His hair is equally scruffy and tousled, but somehow he still manages to look like a million bucks.
Jinyoung recovers and shoots him a scathing glare. "Can you stop bothering me for one day?" he fires at Jackson, the unfriendly insult tumbling out of his mouth before he can even think it through, loosened by the rattled confusion he has been feeling at Jackson's absence for the past hour.
This time, Jackson blanches visibly, his cocky smile faltering. Jinyoung notes it with perverse satisfaction, truimph stealing over him as he sees Jackson's uneasiness show for the first time.
He expects Jackson to ignore the remark with his usual selective hearing, brazenly and unapologetically plop down beside Jinyoung, crowding into his personal space without any sense of embarrassment.
But Jackson doesn't. Today, he stops on the top rung of the ladder, not making a move to climb onto the water tank or advance any closer to Jinyoung.
"Sorry," Jackson mumbles uncertainly, his voice lower than Jinyoung has ever heard it. "I'll go if you don't want me here."
He turns to leave, eyes moving away from Jinyoung, no longer seeing him, and Jinyoung feels a chill ghost over his skin at the sudden loss of Jackson's gaze. He had thought that the constant, glowing warmth bathing his skin had belonged to the sunshine. He hadn't realized that it had emanated from Jackson's intent, dark eyes.
The words lodge like a lump in Jinyoung's throat and he swallows hard, stomach dropping.
"Wait!" he chokes out, just as Jackson's head disappears below the edge of the tank.
There is an interminable, oppressively silent pause before a tuft of Jackson's hair appears, and Jinyoung's heart soars in relief. Slowly, hesitantly, Jackson's eyes appear above the edge, then his nose, then his lips. Jinyoung has never really studied him in such close proximity before, and he is suddenly uncomfortably aware of the penetrating impenetrability of Jackson's eyes, the regal slope of his nose and his bitten red lips. His sculpted jawline.
Jackson looks lost in a way that Jinyoung has never seen before -- unguarded. There's a leaping light in his eyes that makes Jinyoung's breath catch in his throat.
"Zhenrong," Jackson says quietly, the syllables of his Chinese concise and velvet, making a warmth pool in Jinyoung's stomach. "What do you want?"
Jackson's eyes gleam, hopeful and mutely imploring, like he's waiting for Jinyoung to say a magic word that will lift the spell. The four short words seem to shimmer with a million other meanings. Jinyoung's throat is dry, his tongue parched. He tears his gaze away from Jackson's piercing eyes and manages to rasp hoarsely, "I want..."
Jackson waits patiently, eyes glittering and never leaving Jinyoung's. Jinyoung takes a deep breath and crawls on his hands and knees over the granite of the tank, closing the remaining distance between them. Jackson doesn't flinch away, just remains stock still, his eyes growing both brighter and darker as Jinyoung approaches.
When they are a hair's breadth away, Jinyoung is the one who surges foward recklessly and kisses the faint smirk off Jackson's lips, all traces of laughter out of his eyes, delving his tongue beyond Jackson's parted lips and into the dizzying warmth of his mouth, seeking Jackson's and tangling them together until Jackson is panting audibly and his hands rise up behind Jinyoung's neck to grab the back of his head roughly and twist in his hair.
Jinyoung scrambles forward ungracefully without breaking the kiss, desperate to close the last gap between them, unmindful of the gritty gravel scraping his palms painfully, and Jackson leans forward with equal eagerness, swinging himself gracelessly up the last rung and onto the ground of the water tank, his mouth still attached to Jinyoung's. He nearly loses his balance and topples backwards, thankfully steadying himself in the nick of time, but the momentum causes him to tumble forward onto Jinyoung, sprawling heavily over him. Their teeth knock and Jinyoung tastes the copper of blood as Jackson's canines pierce his tongue slightly. But the pain is nothing compared to the impact of Jackson's full body weight crushing the air out of him as he lands awkwardly between Jinyoung's legs, which are spread uncomfortably wide around Jackson's hips.
Jinyoung can feel the tautness of Jackson's abdominal muscles through the flimsy fabric of their uniforms, his hard, strong thighs, the sharpness of his hipbones digging into Jinyoung's pelvis. Suddenly, every inch of his skin is tingling with a scorching heat and his body is nothing but sensation. Jinyoung has never felt as acutely aware of his own body as he does beneath Jackson, when he realizes that he's just a bunch of fizzing nerve endings and electrodes.
Jackson inhales sharply, his face and the tips of his ears flushing blotchily as he struggles to roll off Jinyoung clumsily, instead ending up accidentally bringing his knee up towards Jinyoung's crotch and kneading it.
Jinyoung can't contain the gasp that escapes his lips, brings his hands up to Jackson's chest to shove him away too late for Jackson not to sense that he is shamefully hard.
Now, Jinyoung is the one whose face is burning like a house on fire. Jackson's flush deepens as well, but his breathing also quickens and becomes laboured, and as Jackson braces a hand on the ground beside Jinyoung's head to push himself up Jinyoung feels an unmistakable hardness brushing against his inner thigh.
Jackson lets out a choked noise -- Jinyoung is not sure at the contact, or because he hadn't succeeded at hiding it. He gets his answer a heartbeat later when Jackson grinds his crotch against Jinyoung's, without a shadow of a doubt deliberately this time.
Jackson lets out an obscenely loud groan as their cocks rub through the fabric, and Jinyoung squirms away in horror, but halfheartedly and without exerting his full strength. Predictably, Jackson overpowers him effortlessly, his eyes screwed shut and his teeth gritted as his hands come up to pin Jinyoung's wrists to the ground, the breathtaking weight of his lower body and his knee pushed up roughly between Jinyoung's thighs pinioning Jinyoung immovably to the ground.
Jinyoung whimpers helplessly, and Jackson seems irritated by the noises, clamping his mouth over Jinyoung's again to muffle them. In retaliation, Jinyoung digs his fingernails into Jackson's back and rakes them down his skin, almost vengefully as if trying to inflict pain. Jackson hisses as Jinyoung draws blood and sinks his teeth warningly into Jinyoung's bottom lip. As his lips move against Jinyoung, he rolls his hips forward in sloppy dry thrusts, rutting against Jinyoung's cock.
Jackson's mouth grows wetter and hotter against Jinyoung as the pace and force of his thrusts intensify. Jinyoung unconsciously wraps his legs tightly around Jackson's waist, locking his ankles behind Jackson's back and his mind spins light-headedly at the filthy, agonized pants of hah hah hah that Jackson fails to muffle against his mouth.
White heat flashes behind his eyelids as he feels sparks exploding in his groin and the familiar sensation of release, like the ground has opened up beneath him and he's plunging into a bottomless abyss. His entire body convulses uncontrollably with the force of his orgasm, and he feels a warm stickiness spreading over the crotch of his pants as Jackson groans gutturally and his climax rocks his body too.
He shudders to a halt between Jinyoung's legs, obviously exhausted and drained as his bulky frame sags limply against Jinyoung's. Their panting is still embarrassingly harsh as they struggle to catch their breaths, and Jackson is steadfastly refusing to meet Jinyoung's eyes. His clumsiness seems to be back in full force as he attempts to roll off Jinyoung again, his knees buckling unexpectedly and causing his face to land on Jinyoung's neck. Jinyoung feels the moist softness of Jackson's lips pressed against the sensitive juncture where his shoulder and collarbones meet, and a shiver ripples through him.
Jackson hastily recoils, still avoiding Jinyoung's eyes as he sits up shakily and edges away, placing a little more distance between them. Jinyoung feels a hollowness opening in the pit of his stomach.
"S-sorry," Jackson finally speaks up huskily, breaking the silence. "I --"
"Are you gay?" Jinyoung blurts out, his voice cracking. He's still trembling uncontrollably, and Jackson looks concerned but mortified as he finally meets Jinyoung's eyes.
"No," he replies eventually in a pained whisper. "Are you okay?"
Jinyoung flinches away instinctively when Jackson reaches out to touch him, his mind reeling from the answer. Jackson's face pales and his hand falls back to his side, looking so anguished and heartbroken that Jinyoung's mind swirls in deeper bewilderment.
"Then why...?" he forces out through clenched teeth. He searches Jackson's eyes. "Were you just... playing with me?" Saying the words feels like splintering his heart in two and Jinyoung has no idea why.
"No!" Jackson immediately says vehemently, urgently. His eyes are dark with a bitter regret. "Never," he says, voice suddenly softer, gentler, so soft that Jinyoung feels like he could drown in it.
Jackson raises tormented eyes to meet his. "I've wanted you ever since the first day," he murmurs, and Jinyoung's heart leaps out of his throat.
"I..." he clears his throat. "I thought you hated me," he breathes in wonder.
Jackson breathes a humourless laugh. "You were the one who hated me," he says quietly.
Jinyoung looks at him, his forthright, clear eyes. "I did," he confesses, and the raw pain that flickers across Jackson's eyes is too real to be an illusion. So he wasn't as clueless as he had pretended to be.
Jackson lowers his head, his long eyelashes downcast, devastation spelled across every inch of his face. Jinyoung's heart clenches and palpitates in his bruised chest. But then Jackson raises his eyes in disbelief, fixing them on Jinyoung as they bore into him, the emotions playing like a movie across their expressive irises -- surprise, vulnerability, then breathtaking, exhilarating happiness, and Jinyoung realizes why when he hears the two simple words he's saying, words that change everything.
"Not anymore."
pairing: jackson/jr
rating: nc-17
summary: every day, they meet on the rooftop of their high school.
notes: for lahdeedah000 :)
"Did you know your name means Precious Pride in Chinese?" Jinyoung hears one day, lying on the school rooftop with his eyes closed and the afternoon sun beating down on his skin pleasantly.
He squints open one eye to see Jackson Wang from his class, his face partially eclipsed by the starburst of the sun, so dazzling that Jinyoung's eyes sting and water. He blinks and when he opens them again, Jackson has shifted slightly so his head is now almost completely blocking out the sun, shielding Jinyoung's face and casting a cool shadow over him.
Jinyoung slowly props himself up on his elbows and gets into a sitting position, slightly confused. Jackson had transferred to their school at the beginning of sophomore year but although they were classmates, they had never spoken directly before. Jinyoung can't deny that this is partially deliberate, because he had felt an inexplicably intense dislike for Jackson the moment he laid eyes on him.
Jinyoung has never really given a thought as to the reasons why. Jackson is simply one of those people who are easy to hate, because he is loud-mouthed and obnoxious and annoying, like an incessantly buzzing gnat.
But maybe Jinyoung's hostile feelings have a more selfish and unmentionable source. He doesn't like to brag, but it was a fact that before Jackson's unwelcome arrival, Jinyoung had undeniably been the most popular boy in class, if not in their grade. He was popular with both guys and girls, most females nursing a crush on him and most males eager to be his friend. Jinyoung had taken the attention for granted, but only realized how much when he lost it.
Jinyoung doesn't understand Jackson's appeal. Jackson is about as subtle as an atomic bomb, crass and insensitive. He's not as smart or tall as Jinyoung and his Korean is embarrassingly poor. The only reason Jinyoung can come up with is that Jackson is fascinating to the other students because he's from abroad.
Quietly harbouring these threatened feelings of rivalry, Jinyoung had gone out of his way to avoid Jackson. He made sure never to meet his eyes even when they brushed past each other in class, and always surrounded himself with his diminished but still impressive circle of adoring friends.
Still, occasionally, Jinyoung couldn't help noticing out of the corner of his eye Jackson's ridiculous antics, the way he seemed to be able to make people laugh effortlessly. It made Jinyoung curl his lip with even more contempt, dismissing Jackson as a basic attention-seeker. Jinyoung felt superior when he pondered that the conversations Jackson had and the thoughts in his head couldn't be as deep and profound as Jinyoung's. Jinyoung was well-liked not only by his classmates, but by the teachers too for being a model student. In contrast, Jackson didn't seem to care much about his grades and Jinyoung disdained him even more for it.
In this way, Jinyoung had passed the first few months of sophomore year without ever interacting with Jackson. His popularity had waned a little but he was still reasonably popular, and Jinyoung reconciled himself to the fact that he'd have to put up with Jackson's annoying presence in the class, always hovering in the periphery of his vision. The only thing he could do was to swear that he would never talk to him if he could help it.
All had been going according to plan, until today when Jinyoung had uncharacteristically decided to cut class. For some reason he himself couldn't put a finger on, he was feeling mildly moody today. The dark and gloomy feeling niggled at the back of his mind the whole day, dragging his heart down like a paperweight.
At break, the overcast feeling had started feeling more like a brewing storm cloud, and Jinyoung just couldn't bring himself to face another whole afternoon of lessons. So he had unobtrusively slunk out of the class and down the empty corridors as the bell signalling the end of break rang, meandering directionlessly and absently up the staircase. He was a little surprised at how easily he had been able to escape without anyone detaining him, even though just a few minutes ago he had been surrounded by a group of enthusiastically chattering friends. They had seemed excited enough to banter and joke with him, but not perceptive enough to notice when he had disappeared.
Jinyoung feels an oddly bereft feeling in his chest at the realization of how dispensable he was. Maybe those people he had called his friends for a year were not actually as close to him as he had thought.
Jinyoung tries to cast these depressing thoughts from his mind as he finds his feet bringing him to the rooftop of the school. He has never been up here before, usually too busy mingling with friends in the crowded areas like the cafeteria and class to visit deserted and quiet areas of the school like this.
But when he climbs up the last step and pushes open the door, stepping into the gently warm sunlight, the tranquility feels strangely soothing, a not unpleasant change from the usual boisterous rowdiness he is used to. Jinyoung tentatively scans the dulled granite of the rooftop and is relieved to see no one in sight. He can hear the drone of a teacher's voice from the third floor classrooms below, the tangible midday sleepiness permeating the air and making him yawn.
Jinyoung resolutely cleanses his mind of all thoughts and climbs up the ladder onto the top of the water tank, settling down heavily and stretching out his body like a cat basking in the sun. He closes his eyes.
After what feels like a few minutes, as Jinyoung is drifting into a comfortable shallow doze, he is startled awake by the aforementioned question ringing out above him.
His eyes fly open to see Jackson Wang looming over him, studying him with inquisitive eyes. Jinyoung hastily sits up, his guard coming up immediately, the familiar irritation rising in his stomach.
But he skilfully keeps the testy edge out of his voice as he says blankly, "What are you doing here?"
Jackson hunkers down beside him abruptly without any invitation, and Jinyoung instinctively shifts on his haunches, leaning away. Jackson doesn't seem to notice his displeasure at the invasion of his personal space, frustratingly dense and oblivious as he replies easily, "I noticed you ditching class."
Jinyoung thinks he hears a hint of mocking, of smugness in Jackson's imprecise but confident Korean. He bristles.
"I wasn't ditching!"
Jackson's eyes widen as they look at him, and he laughs out loud, bold and ringing in the silence. Jinyoung flushes despite himself.
"If you say so," Jackson drawls blandly, and Jinyoung glares at him, no longer bothering to hide his loathing.
"Are you ditching?" he snaps, and Jackson looks surprised by the icy tone in his voice.
But he quickly recovers and smiles slickly. "Totally." He meets Jinyoung's eyes with a glint of challenge, as if he has gotten the upper hand by admitting it.
Jinyoung resists the urge to roll his eyes. "I don't care," he says, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Can you leave me alone?"
Jackson's smile wavers for the briefest instant, but he doesn't seem to hear Jinyoung's blatant rudeness as he ignores the question and repeats his initial statement. "Did you know that your Chinese name is Zhenrong? Zhen means precious, and Rong means pride."
Jackson's eyes shine like he's sharing a revelation, like Jinyoung is supposed to be impressed.
Jinyoung does roll his eyes this time. "How the hell do you know my Chinese name?" he demands without embellishment.
Jackson laughs, but the fair skin of his good-looking face pinkens curiously. "Your hangul name was written on the board when you had to do duty. I converted it to Chinese characters."
"That's creepy as fuck," Jinyoung retorts, lip curling in a sneer. He feels a bitterness in his throat that Jackson had apparently been interested in his name, and had been paying attention to him all this while. He wonders how to extricate himself from this situation. Jinyoung is no stranger to being pestered by unwanted admirers, but he had never expected himself to have to fend off his arch-nemesis.
Jackson looks a little uncomfortable at Jinyoung's nastiness, his smile slipping awkwardly but remaining impressively unflagging. He cheerfully pretends not to hear Jinyoung's answer, instead reclining with his hands clasped behind his head and a gusty sigh.
Jinyoung stares at him, unable to believe his utter shamelessness. He has made himself more than clear that Jackson's company is unwelcome, but the other is still lolling on the ground beside him like he doesn't give a fuck.
But for some reason, Jinyoung remains rooted to the ground, not getting to his feet and walking away, as far from Jackson as he can. He tells himself that he's too tired to, and besides he came here first and doesn't have to be chased away by Jackson. But as he sidles to the corner of the water tank, putting more space between them and lies down again on the sun-warmed granite, turning on his side so he doesn't have to face Jackson, he finds himself thinking about the information Jackson has just given him.
He had vaguely been aware that Jackson was Chinese in ethnicity, even though he was mostly heard speaking in English (which in Jinyoung's humble opinion, was pretentiously accented). He loved showing off his English and that was one of the things that Jinyoung abhorred most about him. His own English was pretty fluent, but he never bragged or flaunted it unnecessarily. Jinyoung prided himself on his modesty, on keeping a low profile. He felt that he was as classy as Jackson was unrefined.
"Why are you telling me this?" he blurts out in frustration, the words leaving his mouth before he can even think them over. Immediately, he bites his tongue regretfully, wishing he had kept his big mouth shut and not given Jackson any further encouragement.
Jinyoung doesn't turn around and Jackson doesn't answer for so many beats that Jinyoung thinks he is not going to, or has fallen asleep. But then Jackson says quietly, his voice unexpectedly warm, "I thought you looked sad."
Jinyoung resolutely zips his mouth shut for the rest of the afternoon. They lie on top of the water tank in stilted silence, occasionally interrupted by the cawing of birds soaring overhead and the ever-present muffled drone of the teacher's voice from the third floor. Jackson doesn't leave, but he doesn't try to initiate further conversation.
Jinyoung doesn't leave, either. He just lies there and lets the exhaustion and stress seep out of his body, emptying his mind of all thoughts and feelings. The sky above is a neverending ceiling of white-blue, and Jinyoung feels an odd, new sense of peace stealing over him gradually. His chaotic thoughts seem to slow down, Jackson's presence ceasing to bother him as much as before. It's funny but when he's not talking, Jackson is a lot less annoying. The only indication that he's still lying on the water tank a few feet away is the barely audible rise and fall of his languid breathing, a lullaby which is oddly calming to Jinyoung's ears.
Jinyoung falls asleep for a second time, and jerks awake when the dismissal bell rings loudly, blinking in groggy disorientation. When he remembers where he is, he immediately spins around, his stomach twisting with relief to see the water tank now empty, Jackson gone without a trace. Jinyoung would've convinced himself he had imagined the whole encounter except for the sight of a crumpled cigarette butt, half-crumbled to ashes, lying on the scarred, aged granite where Jackson had been sitting.
Jinyoung unwittingly conjures up an image of Jackson sitting behind him, smoking and watching him quietly as he slept. It makes a shudder of distaste curl his toes and Jinyoung groans as he climbs down the ladder and drearily makes his way back to the classroom to get his bag and leave school.
A week later, Jinyoung finds his feet leading him back to the rooftop, climbing up the water tank with bated breath. He feels a surge of discomfort when he sees someone already there, dangling his legs over the sides and staring into the horizon.
Jackson turns at his footsteps, looking unsurprised to see him, and not completely peeved at being disrupted. Jinyoung wonders if Jackson actually... likes him, or at least doesn't mind his presence. He wonders if he has been reading all the signals wrong and Jackson doesn't actually detest Jinyoung as much as Jinyoung detests him. Maybe he even wants to be his friend.
Jinyoung gulps at the thought. Can Jackson really be so utterly impervious to Jinyoung's obvious and undisguised dislike for him? Had he not one ounce of shame? He was truly one of a kind, Jinyoung thinks scornfully, shaking his head.
Jackson turns around again at that very moment, catching the gesture, and looks confused for a second before his lips curl up in a hesitant smile. "Are you okay?" he breaks the silence, and Jinyoung stops cold, completely flustered because that was not what he was expecting Jackson to say.
"None of your business," he shoots back gruffly as he flings himself down at the opposite end of the water tank, as far away from Jackson as possible. He feels the familiar disquiet Jackson invokes in him, and has the overpowering urge to climb down the ladder and run as far away as he can from the rooftop. But something that he cannot explain keeps him exactly where he is.
Jackson doesn't say anything, and Jinyoung can't see his expression either since their backs are facing each other. He wonders why he's so curious about how Jackson's face looks right now, why he even cares.
The jitters continue tormenting Jinyoung as he fumes silently, staring unseeingly into the distance and feeling Jackson's presence behind him, but they eventually settle down like butterflies going into slumber in his stomach. He wants to say something barbed and stinging about him having discovered the water tank and the rooftop first, and that Jackson should get the fuck off his back, but he's too tired to even be snarky.
As long as Jackson keeps his mouth shut, Jinyoung can almost pretend he's not there. He sighs in discontent and pillows his head on his clasped palms, leaning back to let his tense body rest on the sun-baked asphalt. The warmth seeps through his thin uniform shirt, relaxing the muscles in his back and settling a drowsiness over him.
His eyelids droop and flutter closed and when Jinyoung wakes up, the sun is sinking in the horizon and Jackson is nowhere to be seen again. This time, there isn't even a stray cigarette butt to remind Jinyoung that it wasn't a daydream.
A few days later, Jinyoung finds himself back at the rooftop again, his heart pattering an uneven rhythm against his chest -- with exertion, he tells himself -- as he ascends the rungs of the ladder.
A sinking feeling weighs on his heart when he sees the top of the water tank deserted this time. The drab, dilapidated small square looks even more desolate without Jackson's unwanted presence. Jinyoung realizes he should probably be feeling more happy than he is that his wish of being alone is finally fulfilled, but he feels unaccountably empty as he flings himself down grouchily on the middle of the tank and splays his legs out defiantly. He's going to enjoy this rare freedom if he can help it.
Jinyoung is feeling increasingly bored and lonely, rolling disconsolately onto his side when he feels someone nudging at his back and his heart leaps into his throat. He swivels around, sitting up, to see Jackson wearing an apprehensive smile and his creased, untidy uniform with the noose of his tie loosened over the undone top button of his shirt and his shirttails falling out sloppily. His hair is equally scruffy and tousled, but somehow he still manages to look like a million bucks.
Jinyoung recovers and shoots him a scathing glare. "Can you stop bothering me for one day?" he fires at Jackson, the unfriendly insult tumbling out of his mouth before he can even think it through, loosened by the rattled confusion he has been feeling at Jackson's absence for the past hour.
This time, Jackson blanches visibly, his cocky smile faltering. Jinyoung notes it with perverse satisfaction, truimph stealing over him as he sees Jackson's uneasiness show for the first time.
He expects Jackson to ignore the remark with his usual selective hearing, brazenly and unapologetically plop down beside Jinyoung, crowding into his personal space without any sense of embarrassment.
But Jackson doesn't. Today, he stops on the top rung of the ladder, not making a move to climb onto the water tank or advance any closer to Jinyoung.
"Sorry," Jackson mumbles uncertainly, his voice lower than Jinyoung has ever heard it. "I'll go if you don't want me here."
He turns to leave, eyes moving away from Jinyoung, no longer seeing him, and Jinyoung feels a chill ghost over his skin at the sudden loss of Jackson's gaze. He had thought that the constant, glowing warmth bathing his skin had belonged to the sunshine. He hadn't realized that it had emanated from Jackson's intent, dark eyes.
The words lodge like a lump in Jinyoung's throat and he swallows hard, stomach dropping.
"Wait!" he chokes out, just as Jackson's head disappears below the edge of the tank.
There is an interminable, oppressively silent pause before a tuft of Jackson's hair appears, and Jinyoung's heart soars in relief. Slowly, hesitantly, Jackson's eyes appear above the edge, then his nose, then his lips. Jinyoung has never really studied him in such close proximity before, and he is suddenly uncomfortably aware of the penetrating impenetrability of Jackson's eyes, the regal slope of his nose and his bitten red lips. His sculpted jawline.
Jackson looks lost in a way that Jinyoung has never seen before -- unguarded. There's a leaping light in his eyes that makes Jinyoung's breath catch in his throat.
"Zhenrong," Jackson says quietly, the syllables of his Chinese concise and velvet, making a warmth pool in Jinyoung's stomach. "What do you want?"
Jackson's eyes gleam, hopeful and mutely imploring, like he's waiting for Jinyoung to say a magic word that will lift the spell. The four short words seem to shimmer with a million other meanings. Jinyoung's throat is dry, his tongue parched. He tears his gaze away from Jackson's piercing eyes and manages to rasp hoarsely, "I want..."
Jackson waits patiently, eyes glittering and never leaving Jinyoung's. Jinyoung takes a deep breath and crawls on his hands and knees over the granite of the tank, closing the remaining distance between them. Jackson doesn't flinch away, just remains stock still, his eyes growing both brighter and darker as Jinyoung approaches.
When they are a hair's breadth away, Jinyoung is the one who surges foward recklessly and kisses the faint smirk off Jackson's lips, all traces of laughter out of his eyes, delving his tongue beyond Jackson's parted lips and into the dizzying warmth of his mouth, seeking Jackson's and tangling them together until Jackson is panting audibly and his hands rise up behind Jinyoung's neck to grab the back of his head roughly and twist in his hair.
Jinyoung scrambles forward ungracefully without breaking the kiss, desperate to close the last gap between them, unmindful of the gritty gravel scraping his palms painfully, and Jackson leans forward with equal eagerness, swinging himself gracelessly up the last rung and onto the ground of the water tank, his mouth still attached to Jinyoung's. He nearly loses his balance and topples backwards, thankfully steadying himself in the nick of time, but the momentum causes him to tumble forward onto Jinyoung, sprawling heavily over him. Their teeth knock and Jinyoung tastes the copper of blood as Jackson's canines pierce his tongue slightly. But the pain is nothing compared to the impact of Jackson's full body weight crushing the air out of him as he lands awkwardly between Jinyoung's legs, which are spread uncomfortably wide around Jackson's hips.
Jinyoung can feel the tautness of Jackson's abdominal muscles through the flimsy fabric of their uniforms, his hard, strong thighs, the sharpness of his hipbones digging into Jinyoung's pelvis. Suddenly, every inch of his skin is tingling with a scorching heat and his body is nothing but sensation. Jinyoung has never felt as acutely aware of his own body as he does beneath Jackson, when he realizes that he's just a bunch of fizzing nerve endings and electrodes.
Jackson inhales sharply, his face and the tips of his ears flushing blotchily as he struggles to roll off Jinyoung clumsily, instead ending up accidentally bringing his knee up towards Jinyoung's crotch and kneading it.
Jinyoung can't contain the gasp that escapes his lips, brings his hands up to Jackson's chest to shove him away too late for Jackson not to sense that he is shamefully hard.
Now, Jinyoung is the one whose face is burning like a house on fire. Jackson's flush deepens as well, but his breathing also quickens and becomes laboured, and as Jackson braces a hand on the ground beside Jinyoung's head to push himself up Jinyoung feels an unmistakable hardness brushing against his inner thigh.
Jackson lets out a choked noise -- Jinyoung is not sure at the contact, or because he hadn't succeeded at hiding it. He gets his answer a heartbeat later when Jackson grinds his crotch against Jinyoung's, without a shadow of a doubt deliberately this time.
Jackson lets out an obscenely loud groan as their cocks rub through the fabric, and Jinyoung squirms away in horror, but halfheartedly and without exerting his full strength. Predictably, Jackson overpowers him effortlessly, his eyes screwed shut and his teeth gritted as his hands come up to pin Jinyoung's wrists to the ground, the breathtaking weight of his lower body and his knee pushed up roughly between Jinyoung's thighs pinioning Jinyoung immovably to the ground.
Jinyoung whimpers helplessly, and Jackson seems irritated by the noises, clamping his mouth over Jinyoung's again to muffle them. In retaliation, Jinyoung digs his fingernails into Jackson's back and rakes them down his skin, almost vengefully as if trying to inflict pain. Jackson hisses as Jinyoung draws blood and sinks his teeth warningly into Jinyoung's bottom lip. As his lips move against Jinyoung, he rolls his hips forward in sloppy dry thrusts, rutting against Jinyoung's cock.
Jackson's mouth grows wetter and hotter against Jinyoung as the pace and force of his thrusts intensify. Jinyoung unconsciously wraps his legs tightly around Jackson's waist, locking his ankles behind Jackson's back and his mind spins light-headedly at the filthy, agonized pants of hah hah hah that Jackson fails to muffle against his mouth.
White heat flashes behind his eyelids as he feels sparks exploding in his groin and the familiar sensation of release, like the ground has opened up beneath him and he's plunging into a bottomless abyss. His entire body convulses uncontrollably with the force of his orgasm, and he feels a warm stickiness spreading over the crotch of his pants as Jackson groans gutturally and his climax rocks his body too.
He shudders to a halt between Jinyoung's legs, obviously exhausted and drained as his bulky frame sags limply against Jinyoung's. Their panting is still embarrassingly harsh as they struggle to catch their breaths, and Jackson is steadfastly refusing to meet Jinyoung's eyes. His clumsiness seems to be back in full force as he attempts to roll off Jinyoung again, his knees buckling unexpectedly and causing his face to land on Jinyoung's neck. Jinyoung feels the moist softness of Jackson's lips pressed against the sensitive juncture where his shoulder and collarbones meet, and a shiver ripples through him.
Jackson hastily recoils, still avoiding Jinyoung's eyes as he sits up shakily and edges away, placing a little more distance between them. Jinyoung feels a hollowness opening in the pit of his stomach.
"S-sorry," Jackson finally speaks up huskily, breaking the silence. "I --"
"Are you gay?" Jinyoung blurts out, his voice cracking. He's still trembling uncontrollably, and Jackson looks concerned but mortified as he finally meets Jinyoung's eyes.
"No," he replies eventually in a pained whisper. "Are you okay?"
Jinyoung flinches away instinctively when Jackson reaches out to touch him, his mind reeling from the answer. Jackson's face pales and his hand falls back to his side, looking so anguished and heartbroken that Jinyoung's mind swirls in deeper bewilderment.
"Then why...?" he forces out through clenched teeth. He searches Jackson's eyes. "Were you just... playing with me?" Saying the words feels like splintering his heart in two and Jinyoung has no idea why.
"No!" Jackson immediately says vehemently, urgently. His eyes are dark with a bitter regret. "Never," he says, voice suddenly softer, gentler, so soft that Jinyoung feels like he could drown in it.
Jackson raises tormented eyes to meet his. "I've wanted you ever since the first day," he murmurs, and Jinyoung's heart leaps out of his throat.
"I..." he clears his throat. "I thought you hated me," he breathes in wonder.
Jackson breathes a humourless laugh. "You were the one who hated me," he says quietly.
Jinyoung looks at him, his forthright, clear eyes. "I did," he confesses, and the raw pain that flickers across Jackson's eyes is too real to be an illusion. So he wasn't as clueless as he had pretended to be.
Jackson lowers his head, his long eyelashes downcast, devastation spelled across every inch of his face. Jinyoung's heart clenches and palpitates in his bruised chest. But then Jackson raises his eyes in disbelief, fixing them on Jinyoung as they bore into him, the emotions playing like a movie across their expressive irises -- surprise, vulnerability, then breathtaking, exhilarating happiness, and Jinyoung realizes why when he hears the two simple words he's saying, words that change everything.
"Not anymore."