Life as we know it...
I've been home 5days now. Right now I'm at my grandfathers house and in the morning at 6am I'm getting up. I have to go to portsmoth because I have to catch the bus to go up to Jobcorps. I love being home but I realize the reason for me being at Jobcorps is because I can't stand my mom. As weird as it may seem she drove me crazy with in the first few hours. I don't know why but it was like she was trying to rule me again. Granted she let me hang out with Bryan which I did like 2days in a row. I had fun and I went trick-or-treating with him, Jackie, Nick, Tony, and his little brother Roth. I had fun. I found out that Brandon got termed from Job Corps which means he isn't going to be back. He got termed for being drunk on center which makes me sad because no matter what happened to us I will always have feelings for him. I mean I don't think that they are boyfriend girlfriend feelings but they are just friendship feelings... well, the friendship that we had left. I will always worry about him and shit and well, maybe one day I will bumb into him on the street and maybe we can talk. I talked to my dad before I left and that worked out good. He sent me stuff on monday which I should be getting in the mail on friday. I can't wait to see what he looks like and well he will probably freak out when he sees me. I didn't get to chill with Shaun Voss or becky this weekend because I was sick and sleeping almost the whole time. I did get to see reggie and well that went better then EVER! Foreal. I mean I couldn't ask for anything else and we agreeed that we would just stay "friends"... The weird thing was when I was in sanford I was thinking about Phil. I mean sometimes I just wonder what he is doing but it's not like I don't want to talk to him. It's like I don't know how to get into contact with him. It's weird because I realize how much he meant to me when I was here and now that I'm away it's hard because you don't find guys that look beyond bed. You only find the ones that look into the one night thing. THat's my problem most of the time. I mean it's not like brandon was like that because that 2 1/2 hours that I was in his room all we did was cuddle and make out. He doesn't know that I was into him more then he was me and I was acting myself. I tried to put my all into the relationship but all I did was get the boot and I don't know if that was my fault or not. He says he wasn't happy in the relationship but I don't understand why because he didn't talk to me about it. I wish he would have because I would have loved to found out why. Huh... maybe I will look him up on myspace... id on't know!