Summary: Break copes with angry, hurt feelings in his own special way after overhearing the others say nasty things about him behind his back. One-shot angsty fluff.
Words: 835
Rating: G
Writer’s Note: Time-wise, I’m imagining this would take place sometime after the Sharon kidnapping incident but before the revelation of Break’s past. Hopefully you’ve seen the scene in the manga and anime where Break is binging on sugar cubes while talking to Oz about Vincent having friends, because that definitely inspired this story. As usual, italics indicate thoughts.
Xerxes Break was in a foul humor as he walked through the halls of Pandora toward his room.
That Vincent Nightray…he’s always talking about his ‘friends.’ How can he have so many friends, when I-
Break was distracted from his thoughts by the sound of voices in a nearby room. He could have sworn he’d heard someone say his name. He leaned closer to the door to listen in.
First he heard Alice’s voice:
“What’s with that guy? He’s such a creep.”
Then he heard Oz’s voice:
“From what I can tell, no one at Pandora really likes Break. They just sort of tolerate him and his crazy antics.”
Then Gilbert’s voice:
“Yeah, he’d like to think he has friends, but he sure isn’t one of mine.”
Alice asked:
“Who would want to be friends with that guy?”
Oz said:
“He is kinda weird isn’t he?”
Gilbert said:
“Just thinking about him puts me in a bad mood.”
Listening outside the door, Break felt a nervous twinge in his stomach. Wary of being noticed eavesdropping - especially with such an involuntarily sad look on his face - he quietly crept down the hall to his room, opened the door and shut it behind him.
He flung his cane angrily into the closet, tore off his coat, and headed straight for the sweets cabinet. He had a stash for every occasion. There were lollipops for flirty moods, chocolates for rainy days, and hard candies for everyday use. But this occasion called for raw, unadulterated sugar cubes. He took out a box of them and flopped down on top of his desk.
One by one, he popped the cubes into his mouth, and crushed them with his gnashing teeth. He kicked his feet angrily in the air like an impatient toddler in a seat far too big for him. He thought about when he’d first tumbled from the Abyss years ago, broken and wounded. People criticized me then, too. They’ve always hated me, made fun of me. No one wanted to be around me or be my friend. Pah! Who needs friends anyway…
When the box was half empty, the sugar rush began to kick in and he burst out in a fit of tremendous laughing. Ho ho! I endured all that teasing back then and it helped me become stroooonger. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks of me…because I am sooo strong! He threw back his head and laughed so hard he fell off the desk onto the rug while his box of sugar cubes clattered to the floor.
Rolling over onto his knees, he wrapped his arms around himself as the giggles overtook him. I don’t need anyone! Even if I were all alone in this world, I’d be fine! As he choked up with laughter, the curve of his smile turned around, the proud guffaws turned to wounded sobs and his face contorted to a mask of despair. What is happening to me? What is this miserable feeling? He lifted his fingers to his face and felt his cheeks, then looked at his wet fingertips, surprised. He swallowed hard and muttered,
“Oh…so that’s how it is.”
Suddenly sober and calm, Break wiped his eyes with his sleeve, blew his nose, and then picked up the sugar cubes from the floor and put them back in their box.
There was a knock at the door.
“Break?” It was Oz’s voice.
Break froze for a second, then hastily put the box of sugar cubes back in the cabinet and spoke through the door.
“Yes, Oz-kun?”
“Can I come in?”
“Em, certainly.” He opened the door.
Oz sauntered in.
“We were just wondering if -“ he began, then noticed Break’s face. “Hey…have you been…crying?”
“Eh…?” Break looked taken aback, and cleared his throat. “Em…I just…feel a bit...unwell.”
“Oh.” Oz half-grinned. “That’s too bad really ‘cause…I think I’d like you better if I knew you cried just like a regular person.”
Break looked at him strangely and would have said something flippant or rude at that moment, but he was getting a bit of a stomachache.
“Anyhow,” continued Oz. “We were just wondering if you’d like to go into town with us tomorrow?”
“What? Y-you mean…you and…Alice and Gilbert?”
“Yeah, we’re going to get some food and have a picnic. Maybe play some cards?”
“A-and you want me…to come?” Break put his hand across his stomach and willed himself not to throw up the half a cup or so of sugar he had consumed.
Oz nodded.
“Mm hm. You can be our chaperone and make sure we stay out of trouble!”
“Mm, yes,” Break said, smiling faintly. “I’d be happy to come.”
“Great!” Oz beamed. “Well take care of yourself, okay?” He turned toward the door.
“Thanks, Oz-kun.” Break shut the door behind him, and he slumped into a chair, feeling slightly drained but content. Hmm…I don’t need friends but…it’s nice to be wanted sometimes. He balled up his jacket and hugged it, and a smile crept onto his face.