Early this morning I was serenaded by Owls in Love.  The man would sing "Who who-who. WHOOOO WHOOOO" and then the female would call the same thing back a major third higher.  Sometimes it was consecutive, sometimes they overlapped, and sometimes it was a duet.  I think I will name them Rudolpho and Mimi ( Read more... )

LITTLE GIRL leaves the table in the middle of dinner.

MOM:  My dear, whence have you gone?

LITTLE GIRL:  Whaaaa???

MOM:  Where are you?

LITTLE GIRL:  Playing in the playroom.

MOM:  You cannot just leave the table.

LITTLE GIRL returns to the table which has a lot of yogurt and honey and a washcloth and other detritus all over it.MOM:  Before ( Read more... )

"I missed you at VBS, Mommy, but my heart never forgot you!"

"Now you must run up and put on clean clothes."

"Why?!"

"Because you cannot run around naked all day, my child."

When there are backhoes and other digging sorts of machines outside:

Every male from age 1 to 35 is glued to the window.

GLUED.

You know you're in a house with kids when you say, "I hope that wet spot I just stepped in wasn't pee."

You know you've been in a house with kids for too long when you just keep walking.

ME:  I need a snack.

MY FRIEND:  You're so funny.  You're just like Winnie the Pooh.

LITTLE GIRL:  She's not that fat!

[At this point my friend tries to explain through her (and my) hysterical laughter that she was referring to the way Pooh always wants a little snack.  The little girl may still at this moment be confused about it.]

I was pretending to a be a robot, and questioned their coughs -- Robots do not get coughs!

The five and two year old were very seriously defending this weakness:

Humans are different from robots.

"What do you say when Auntie GV tells you to do something?"

"No thank you!"

"No, that's not what you say. What do you say?"

"Yes Auntie Doodle-GV!"

"No, you don't say 'Yes, Auntie Doodle-GV'" What do you say?"

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"Why did you color in that book?"

"Because I couldn't see the color of his clothes!"

Cooking this mind-blowingly delicious bread.  But with Guinness black lager. *dies of delicious*

LITTLE GUY:  I WAN TO HEWP!!!!!

[Incidentally, LITTLE GUY is naked from the waist down.  As per usual.]

ME:  Rule 1 of cooking:  You must be wearing pants.

OLDER SISTER:  What is rule two?

ME:  It's . . . [I did not anticipate this question] . . . ( Read more... )