(no subject)
It has been a real stressfull week.I need God close to me now.I have been thinking alot about drinking and doing dope.I don't want to do this,im not going to do this.But yes I do still think of it,especially at work.My job is stupid.I hate service industry crap.I know "be greatfull","at least you have a job."I require alot of prayer and meditation these days to keep myself on track.Alot of me wants to piss it away but i can't.That's my past behavior trying to sneek in.My socail security card should be here in a few weeks then I can find a better job.To many bills creating to much stress.I went and looked at a sweet fucking guitar today.Everything in me wanted to put it on lay-away.43 bucks to do that.I have 64 bucks.It was so hard not to do it.I am really feeling a sence of something missing without a guitar.Music is my meditation and it's killing me not to be able to play.
I really need an overnight with Erin.Im stressed,she is stressed.The only time that we have together is at meetings or at a place where we can't really be alone.We need to be alone.I need to feel her next to me right now.All night.A have some rent money comming but I don't know if it will be here by tomorrow.Im going to fucking loose my mind.
I really need an overnight with Erin.Im stressed,she is stressed.The only time that we have together is at meetings or at a place where we can't really be alone.We need to be alone.I need to feel her next to me right now.All night.A have some rent money comming but I don't know if it will be here by tomorrow.Im going to fucking loose my mind.