(no subject)
Yesterday the owner of La'au's came in.I heard him yell my name from the back of the building.The way that he yelled I thought something was wrong.I was like "fuck,they found out some dirt.They know im a fucking recovering herion addict and he is about to fire me."Well...that was far from what happened.He asked me if I was a morning person,to wich I replied yes.He said that he is going to be opening the restaraunt for breakfast and needs someone help get it started and work the morings.He wants me to do it.He also wants me to help Dave with the menu.Fuckin' wierd.Fucking good.
Im frustrated.I need an overnight.It's really hard to date someone when you both live in sobriety homes and can't ever get any alone time.The only time thta we have with each other is at meetings.She can come to my house but we are only alowed to hang out in the living room.I mean it's a good thing for us becouse we are puting our priorities first in our relationship.Recovery.But we need some alone time too.The money isn't coming fast enough.I need to pay rent before I can even take an overnight.hopefully I can do that this week.We need another motel night.Eh...frustration.
I have to go work on my fourth step today.I have taken a week off from it.With work and meetings and all of my other life events it is really hard to find time.I can feel myself needing to do some work though.I am starting to withdrawel from meetings.Feeling like I want to get away.Or maybe I am just going to to many meetings or I need to find different meetings.Whatever the case may be I do know that I need to get working on this fourth step so I can get rid of some of my bullshit and grow.If I don't grow I get stagnant.If I get stagnant I move backwards.If I move backwards I drink,I drug.It's nice to finally have a real day off.I need some clarity.It's ben really hard for me to form a thought.
Im frustrated.I need an overnight.It's really hard to date someone when you both live in sobriety homes and can't ever get any alone time.The only time thta we have with each other is at meetings.She can come to my house but we are only alowed to hang out in the living room.I mean it's a good thing for us becouse we are puting our priorities first in our relationship.Recovery.But we need some alone time too.The money isn't coming fast enough.I need to pay rent before I can even take an overnight.hopefully I can do that this week.We need another motel night.Eh...frustration.
I have to go work on my fourth step today.I have taken a week off from it.With work and meetings and all of my other life events it is really hard to find time.I can feel myself needing to do some work though.I am starting to withdrawel from meetings.Feeling like I want to get away.Or maybe I am just going to to many meetings or I need to find different meetings.Whatever the case may be I do know that I need to get working on this fourth step so I can get rid of some of my bullshit and grow.If I don't grow I get stagnant.If I get stagnant I move backwards.If I move backwards I drink,I drug.It's nice to finally have a real day off.I need some clarity.It's ben really hard for me to form a thought.