Disconnected Thoughts of Import
Hi LiveJournal!
No, I did not forget you. Well, maybe I did for a bit, but for the most part, it's been difficult to sit down long enough to jot down all the thoughts going through my head. But I have a bit of time now, so let me say a few things:
We are officially moved into our new home in West Virginia, and it's beautiful. We're getting satellite hooked up tomorrow afternoon, and we're heading to the old house on Monday to clean up in hopes of getting at least some of our security deposit back.
I quit my job at the pharmacy. And by that, I mean I put in my notice and requested a transfer to another store closer to where we're now living. I interviewed for that, and they pretty much told me I had the job. Roughly two hours later, I got a call for an offer for the counseling gig I was hoping for. So I rescinded the offer for the pharmacy tech position.
So yay! Starting the counseling position! It'll be the Tuesday after Labor Day, so I get to enjoy my birthday weekend before starting the job.
Took a rather awesome Staunton trip last weekend, although I was a bit verklempt at times with trying to find a balance between groups of people. On a few occasions, it felt like I was struggling to keep my head above water in a sense, feeling left out and forgotten at times. I hate when I feel like that. Part of me feels like it was in my head, but I've been told that it wasn't and that I shouldn't sweep those feelings under the rug. I hate that I do that. Overall though, it was an enjoyable weekend, seeing people I hadn't seen in a while and going on adventures with Jodie!
And finally: We're pregnant! Well, I'm pregnant... but AJ helped. We're due on April 25th. We go to the doctor on October 4th. I'll be 12 weeks in at that point, so we should know whether it's a boy or a girl then. Hopefully. I'm so excited because we've been trying since February, and honestly, I'd been freaking out thinking that maybe I was defective. Each month, I'd cry over how I didn't have a baby, but this time around...... I had no reason to cry. And while I'm excited, I almost feel like I'm not excited enough because it feels surreal. Plus, I don't "feel" pregnant, however one should feel when one is... I feel like I'm living a lie telling people when I'm not showing and thus have no evidence of this life growing inside of me... beyond the picture I took of the tests I peed on.
That's how I told people when we went to Staunton. I caught everyone up on our crazy week or so, with AJ completing his internship and thus his doctorate, how he's got that new job, how we're moving into a swanky house, how I landed the pharmacy job, how I immediately landed the counseling job, "...and I peed on some stuff!" and passed around an instant digital print of the two tests I took (cheapo 88-cent brand, followed by the First Response brand. Both gave two lines.). Of course I took a photo. That's how I roll.
Not sure if I have any readers anymore, but I wanted this documented for the sake of documenting things.
Strange change of subject, but I want to get all these thoughts out: Misty and I hadn't been on speaking terms in about four years, but over the past year, I've wondered how she's been doing. Daniel and Holly saw her at Walmart last summer, and she told them to tell me I said hi and she hoped I was doing well. I asked if they thought she sounded sincere, and they believed she was, which made me want to reach out. I tried doing so through Dorene shortly thereafter, but that didn't go over so well (it seemed like she was avoiding those texts when I'd ask about Misty), but over the past couple of months (or maybe more recently than that), Dorene and I have been talking, and she really wants me and Misty to be friends again. She understands my perspective for how things fell apart, and she suggested I write Misty a letter, so I did. I e-mailed it to Dorene, who hand-delivered it to Misty. She said that Misty was hesitant but wanted to write back, and all seemed well, but then I didn't hear anything else of it. Then the east coast had that earthquake the other day, and I got some text messages from an unknown-to-me number in North Carolina. They were from Misty, telling me she was writing the letter but wanted to check up on me to see how I was, making sure I was okay. So we've texted a bit back and forth over a couple of days. She initiated both days. I want to, but I also don't want to force the situation. Maybe I should wait on the letter. I'm kind of worried about what I'll read, but at the same time, I know that I should feel hopeful based on the fact that she wrote something at all... plus, she took the time to text me to make sure I was safe, and then continued texting me after knowing that I was alive. I think we're both feeling the same: cautious, hurt, but hopeful.
This makes me think about Candice and how our friendship fell apart due to miscommunications and misperceptions (due to said miscommunications). I've often thought about sitting down and writing a letter or shooting an e-mail, but then I throw away the paper or delete the draft because I imagine it won't be well-received. Maybe I won't care about the reaction one day and will at least communicate properly and know that I tried my best, but I'm still afraid of a harsh reaction, or no reaction at all.
Bleh, this sounds so negative. I don't want it to be. So it won't be. Happy thoughts! New house, new job, and I can now add "life creator" to my list of talents!
No, I did not forget you. Well, maybe I did for a bit, but for the most part, it's been difficult to sit down long enough to jot down all the thoughts going through my head. But I have a bit of time now, so let me say a few things:
We are officially moved into our new home in West Virginia, and it's beautiful. We're getting satellite hooked up tomorrow afternoon, and we're heading to the old house on Monday to clean up in hopes of getting at least some of our security deposit back.
I quit my job at the pharmacy. And by that, I mean I put in my notice and requested a transfer to another store closer to where we're now living. I interviewed for that, and they pretty much told me I had the job. Roughly two hours later, I got a call for an offer for the counseling gig I was hoping for. So I rescinded the offer for the pharmacy tech position.
So yay! Starting the counseling position! It'll be the Tuesday after Labor Day, so I get to enjoy my birthday weekend before starting the job.
Took a rather awesome Staunton trip last weekend, although I was a bit verklempt at times with trying to find a balance between groups of people. On a few occasions, it felt like I was struggling to keep my head above water in a sense, feeling left out and forgotten at times. I hate when I feel like that. Part of me feels like it was in my head, but I've been told that it wasn't and that I shouldn't sweep those feelings under the rug. I hate that I do that. Overall though, it was an enjoyable weekend, seeing people I hadn't seen in a while and going on adventures with Jodie!
And finally: We're pregnant! Well, I'm pregnant... but AJ helped. We're due on April 25th. We go to the doctor on October 4th. I'll be 12 weeks in at that point, so we should know whether it's a boy or a girl then. Hopefully. I'm so excited because we've been trying since February, and honestly, I'd been freaking out thinking that maybe I was defective. Each month, I'd cry over how I didn't have a baby, but this time around...... I had no reason to cry. And while I'm excited, I almost feel like I'm not excited enough because it feels surreal. Plus, I don't "feel" pregnant, however one should feel when one is... I feel like I'm living a lie telling people when I'm not showing and thus have no evidence of this life growing inside of me... beyond the picture I took of the tests I peed on.
That's how I told people when we went to Staunton. I caught everyone up on our crazy week or so, with AJ completing his internship and thus his doctorate, how he's got that new job, how we're moving into a swanky house, how I landed the pharmacy job, how I immediately landed the counseling job, "...and I peed on some stuff!" and passed around an instant digital print of the two tests I took (cheapo 88-cent brand, followed by the First Response brand. Both gave two lines.). Of course I took a photo. That's how I roll.
Not sure if I have any readers anymore, but I wanted this documented for the sake of documenting things.
Strange change of subject, but I want to get all these thoughts out: Misty and I hadn't been on speaking terms in about four years, but over the past year, I've wondered how she's been doing. Daniel and Holly saw her at Walmart last summer, and she told them to tell me I said hi and she hoped I was doing well. I asked if they thought she sounded sincere, and they believed she was, which made me want to reach out. I tried doing so through Dorene shortly thereafter, but that didn't go over so well (it seemed like she was avoiding those texts when I'd ask about Misty), but over the past couple of months (or maybe more recently than that), Dorene and I have been talking, and she really wants me and Misty to be friends again. She understands my perspective for how things fell apart, and she suggested I write Misty a letter, so I did. I e-mailed it to Dorene, who hand-delivered it to Misty. She said that Misty was hesitant but wanted to write back, and all seemed well, but then I didn't hear anything else of it. Then the east coast had that earthquake the other day, and I got some text messages from an unknown-to-me number in North Carolina. They were from Misty, telling me she was writing the letter but wanted to check up on me to see how I was, making sure I was okay. So we've texted a bit back and forth over a couple of days. She initiated both days. I want to, but I also don't want to force the situation. Maybe I should wait on the letter. I'm kind of worried about what I'll read, but at the same time, I know that I should feel hopeful based on the fact that she wrote something at all... plus, she took the time to text me to make sure I was safe, and then continued texting me after knowing that I was alive. I think we're both feeling the same: cautious, hurt, but hopeful.
This makes me think about Candice and how our friendship fell apart due to miscommunications and misperceptions (due to said miscommunications). I've often thought about sitting down and writing a letter or shooting an e-mail, but then I throw away the paper or delete the draft because I imagine it won't be well-received. Maybe I won't care about the reaction one day and will at least communicate properly and know that I tried my best, but I'm still afraid of a harsh reaction, or no reaction at all.
Bleh, this sounds so negative. I don't want it to be. So it won't be. Happy thoughts! New house, new job, and I can now add "life creator" to my list of talents!