i thought that things were different this time around
i woke up after a nap today shaking and sweating and unable to breathe. and i don't even remember why now. i just know it was one of the most horrifying dreams i have ever had.
and then i started thinking alot. and i'm getting really, really frustrated.
and i mean i know this isn't really a big deal and friendships don't seem that hard, they are for me. i know i seem confident and unnaproachable and happy, but it's not that easy. i'm so weak and so scared most of the time. and i know i'll always be like this if i can't even learn to trust people enough to get close to them and become true friends with them. it's HARD for me. so hard. and i wish that people could understand that. and stop treating me like shit. or i could understand that not all people are horrible. and start trusting them.
<3<3
ps. me and katie are totally turning into guys. or maybe we're just growing up.
and then i started thinking alot. and i'm getting really, really frustrated.
and i mean i know this isn't really a big deal and friendships don't seem that hard, they are for me. i know i seem confident and unnaproachable and happy, but it's not that easy. i'm so weak and so scared most of the time. and i know i'll always be like this if i can't even learn to trust people enough to get close to them and become true friends with them. it's HARD for me. so hard. and i wish that people could understand that. and stop treating me like shit. or i could understand that not all people are horrible. and start trusting them.
<3<3
ps. me and katie are totally turning into guys. or maybe we're just growing up.